Yes, yes, we have seen lots of blogs doing very well-organized give-aways of random Twilighty things to celebrate the holidays. True to form, we are jumping in a little late here. But hey, it's not even January or anything, so we're doing pretty damn good (by our admittedly low standards), if you ask me.
It's come to my attention as I clean up for the impending onslaught of family holiday visits that we have amassed quite a collection of stuff that we intend to give away. Someday. When we get our acts together, find time to put together a contest, come up with a plan for said contest and said prizes, yadda-yadda-yadda. Well you know what? The chances of our getting our collective acts together any time in the near future are slim to none (ok, Latchkey Wife still has a slight chance, but only if she quits the blog and disassociates herself from us completely).
So in that spirit, welcome to the first (and probably last) annual OMFG-Get-This-Shit-Outta-Here/I-Can't-In-Good-Conscience-Entertain-My-Family-Knowing-There-Are-Multiple-Sex-Toy-Gift-Bags-Lurking-Around Twitarded Give-Away. You'll be glad you came!
Back when we were planning for Forks, Jenny Jerkface and I wanted to see if we could get some stuff to give away to people while we were there. Inspired and with a heightened level of entitlement for free swag post-BlogHer, we started sending emails. I'm not going to name names, but some companies didn't pull through, some sent something other than what they'd committed to and we didn't know what to do with it, and then my whole family situation went kaflooey and I had other things on my mind. Except that JJ was persistent in asking the folks at Eden Fantasys for a little sumpthin-sumpthin to share with our readers. And they promised what we ultimately came to call "The Giant Box of Dildos" because we had no idea what they were sending us, only that we had to get our hands on it - and keep the wrong hands from opening it - before we made it to Forks.
Unfortunately, The Giant Box of Dildos arrived at VitaminR70's house when we were already piled into her car and several hours away from her home, where it was almost opened by her two adorable, young children, who could have potentially been scarred for life had they rooted through the contents (that was a close one!). Desperate, we sent out the Twi-Signal and took to Twitter, hoping against hope that we might be able to scare up someone who might be heading to Forks in that direction and willing to transport The Giant Box of Dildos to us. To no avail, sadly. TGBoD never made it to the Twilighty Promised Land. [hangs head]
But the GOOD news is that we have four awesome goodie bags from Eden Fantasys to give away now (lest my nieces and nephews find them at Christmas, and that wouldn't be good for anyone). This is a NICE assortment of goodies--we were thisclose to keeping this stuff for ourselves, but decided to pay it forward... Each Eden Fantasy black canvas tote (reusable and reasonably discreet logo-wise!) comes with a Sin Five "intimate massager," a Kissa glass vibrator, a Tantric Natural Soy Massage Oil Candle, Ultra Lube, and an assortment of samples and stickers.
So have you been especially nice - or naughty - this year??? Is there maybe something that you would like but were afraid to go and sit on Santa's lap and ask for? We were going to ask everyone who wanted to be in on this contest to email us a story giving us the sordid details of your prior sex-toy mishaps (or epic wins!)--and you can still do that!--but all you have to do to be entered is leave a comment before midnight on Tuesday December 14th, and we will pick four random winners from the comments. Please check back in the comments on Wednesday night for winners (and to provide an email or address if necessary). Unless I have done a body shot off of you in Forks, please be prepared to prove that you are over the age of eighteen (I love this blog, but I'm not going to spend Christmas in jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor).
Want to leave a comment but don't want to enter the contest? Just start your comment with "No Contest" and we promise not to mail you anything that goes "BUZZZZZZZ!!!"
Here's a little inspiration for all you lucky wanna-be winners...
pic from Thinking of Rob