Thursday, December 9, 2010

We're So Vain We Probably Think This Post Is About Us

I will be the first to admit I spend a ridiculous amount of time primping myself to look...more or less mediocre. It takes a lot of work to look this average. The biography of my life will probably be called It Takes a Village to Groom Texas Katherine. Our vanity is one of the many things we four Twitards have in common. While I didn't go to FOOOORRRKKS! I was privy to the preparation e-mails going back and forth. The common theme was "I don't give a shit if we're going to the wettest place on the continental U.S.; I just spent more than the gross domestic income of Uganda on hair products because I will not abide frizz!"

I'm always on the hunt for any product or gadget that will make me look like Cindy Crawford's younger, prettier sister. That "gadget" is probably a paper bag with an old picture of Cindy Crawford picture taped to the front, but whatever. Let's all gather 'round. There's something we'd like to try.

Uh, not that "something." Maybe next time.

We want to know what beauty products you absolutely can not live without. Let's pretend we're all stuck on an island (with a scantily clad Cullen of your choice, natch) and you can only bring 3 items with you. What would they be?

Texas Katherine's Choices

Dry Shampoo. I want to be the dry shampoo poster girl. I'd like to marry the aerosol can. This is the greatest invention ever and whoever invented it should win a fucking Nobel Peace Prize. I use this more than I actually wash my hair. I am so ready for the zombie apocalypse. I'm going to starve, but my hair will look fabulous.

Sugar scrub. This makes my feet look like they never touch the ground. It helps perpetuate the image I've created that I'm a queen and deserve to be carried everywhere.

Last, but not least—Surgi Wax. This keeps my eyebrows from doing their best impressions of a headband. There's going to be a microwave on this island, right? And indoor plumbing?

Jenny Jerkface's Choices

Have spooge on your hand, whether it was intentional or accidental? Sweating like a fucking whore in church? Cum on the corner of your mouth? Swamp-ass? Stuck at an outdoor party and need to take a shit, only to find the toilet paper is subpar at best? Trust me, folks, wet-naps are invaluable tool to looking fresh and perky at all time.

Not only are my eyelashes sparse, they're also blond, which makes them look virtually non-existent. Wanna know who has non-existent eyelashes? Aliens. I slather on as much mascara as I possibly can so I don't look like one.

I might have a dirty mouth but I can't stand having a dirty face. And I am one oily mother fucker. Seriously, sometimes I feel like you could grease a fucking wheel by rubbing my face against it. When I was twelve, I pressed my face against a window and saw the huge oil spot. I was sufficiently traumatized.

Latchkey Wife's Choices

ChapStick is beyond necessary for me. I have no less than a dozen scattered around the house, in my car, purse, work so that I'm never more than 10 paces from putting my hands on it. If I find myself somewhere without it, I panic. I start licking my lips and make them even more chapped. But if I feel secure that it's within reach, I can go a whole day an barely use it.

Ok, so maybe this is overdoing the whole Hair Dryer thing but I don't do well without some sort of hair drying apparatus. I have bangs. Anyone who has bangs knows the risk you take if you let them dry naturally. And it usually ain't good. Plus my straight hair likes to dry wavy (and a tad frizzy) if I don't hit it with the heat.

I hate blemishes and I seem to have a lot of them. I need a concealer stick handy nearly as much as the ChapStick. Like right now when I have a huge blinking beacon of a zit square between my eyebrows. What. The. Fuck? I'm 40 for chrissakes! When does it end????

Snarkier Than You's Choices

I NEED Aquaphor. I have always been a lip balm addict (like in-need-of-a-support-group-level addict, not a passive "oh this stuff is the bee's knees!" kinda way) and this meets my demand for moist lips PLUS it works as a moisturizer if you have really dry, sensitive skin like mine. Besides, I could probably find some beetles to crush into it to make lipstick, just like they do for real lipstick - score! I'm sure if I was stuck on a desert island with "someone" I could find other uses for it as well. They had an Aquaphor booth at BlogHer and I admit to getting a little grabby with their Lip Repair samples. I don't regret it.

I might be able to live without mascara, but not without an eyelash curler. I'll have to use the sun to heat it up instead of my hairdryer, but without curling my lashes, they are practically invisible. I'll use Aquaphor as clear mascara!

I'm still working on finding the perfect red/auburn brow pencil (it's possible that I obsess a little bit about my eyebrows), but like my eyelashes, my eyebrows almost disappear without some pricey help from Sephora. Someone please make sure that I don't put this on my lips in desperation (h-a-t-e that overly-lined lip thing).

P.S. Latchkey Wife, can I borrow your hairdryer???

You're next! Barring a bite from a smexy vampire, how do you stay eternally youthful? What items can you absolutely not live without? Don't hold out on us.


  1. Sorry I haven't commented in a while, ladies. Real life has been a bitch. So, I get three items, right???

    1) My Mary Kay compact, because I do not think I am pretty without makeup! It counts as just one item even though it holds everything!

    2) Dove Intensive Repair conditioner. Smells so good, and keeps my curly hair shiny, soft and frizz-free!

    3) My Chi. Because curly/wavy bangs are not sexy.

    I love you ladies! Keep it up.

  2. I use so many products that it was hard to narrow down... figured i could use sand to exfoliate, find some stuff in the tropical jungle to replace some of the other ridiculous products and appliances and random things i use to achieve my "meh" look - lol... i mean, just three?! i may never leave the house again - just in case i end up getting whisked away from my supplies!

    : )

  3. @ithinkpink - ok need to borrow your chi - lol! and the mary kay compact - great idea! def counts as one item but it's so much more... : )

  4. @ithinkpink--Genius. I'm going to tape all my toiletries to my compact & call it one item. Also, I'll be borrowing the Chi.

    It really made me nervous to narrow my list down to three. How am I supposed to paint my toenails? Oh shit, I forgot blush. Ugh! I can't handle this pressure!

  5. 1) condoms (love Jasper but don't want anyones venom stuck into my heart)
    2) toothbrush
    3) toothpaste...lifetime supply

  6. 1) Two words: MOROCCAN. OIL.

    2) Victoria's Secret Strawberry lip gloss

    3) My Bare Minerals foundation

  7. You guys want me to narrow this down to three?!? You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

    Okay... shit. Ummmmmmmmm....

    I probably should have thought about this before I started commenting.

    1. Chapstick. I am an addict. Have been since age 11. I have chapstick everywhere and I'm somehow constantly losing it. No joke I cleaned out under my bed a few weeks ago and found 5 (yes, FIVE) chapsticks. If it ends up being 1am and I don't have chapstick, I will drive to the store...that's how addicted I am.

    2. Hair straightener. My hair dries half curly, half straight and I end up looking like a homeless yetti. Not hot.

    3. Covergirl Lash Blast mascara. If I don't put it on, I will look like an albino 12 year old. If you ever try this mascara, do NOT go for the pink tube with the sparkles. That shit will burn your eyeballs if you end up somehow getting teary eyed. I put it on for my friend's birthday, laughed so hard I cried and then felt like someone poured bleach in my eyes. Sorry STY, I'm sure you're gagging right about now. LOVE YOU!

    Next time you guys post a blog like this, try upping it to five items instead of three. Just sayin... this hard (that's what she said). I feel like i just flunked a test.

  8. Hmmmm this is hard cause I've resorted to making my own products. I have weird ass super oily skin\hair that everything that I've tried makes it worse! So I make my own body,face wash, astrigent and lip balms.

    Elisabeth Arden Mascara is a must, cause I got piddly little lashes and its the only mascara that won't slide off from my oily skin.

    Hair dryer, without it my hair has a mind of its own and likes to flip in weird and not so wounderful ways.

    L'Oreal EverPure Shampoo Love that shit and I can't stand having oily hair.

  9. 1 aveda glossing straightener - you can stick this in your hair when it's wet and it dries fabulous. Even thought you have frizzy afro italian stupid hair...*cough*

    2 lipstick . I don't care which, just some color!

    3 aveda mosscara - yes I work for aveda. so what!

  10. Oh & STY Eyebrown Tinting babe! I've started doing it, cause eeeek I'm going grey there! How's that for being a vain bitch!

  11. This post was all kinda of hysterical. I literally LOL'd about 3 times and insisted my s/o listen. He gets a kick out of your posts. His favorite JJ word of all time is "swamp ass." ;)

    BTW TK- I have to ;ook into that dry shampoo. My whole life I could go days without washing my hair and it would NOT get oily. NOW, I can't go more than a day and a half. WTF?!? My friend had a great one she swore by and I borrowed once in Vegas, worked pretty well. I'm really looking for a good one...

    Anyhoo let me think.....what are are the things I cannot live without...

    1. Maybelline Full & Soft mascara. The black tube, not the pink. I have pretty descent eye lashes that curl on their own..but the tips are super blonde. I can go without it, but it really would make me feel a bit "prettier" on a deserted island.

    2. MAC "Partial to Pink" lipsheen. It's the perfect shade of pale pink and I have to have something on my lips...aside from Rob's dick of course. If I don't have gloss on, I feel like my lips will shrivel....and licking them doesn't help.

    3. My flat iron. Much like LKW, my hair is straight, but will dry kinda wavy and frizzy...I MUST have smooth hair.

    4. oh wait, you only wanted 3. I could go on and on...

    xo J

  12. Sorry for the gawdawful typos in the first sentence...damn sticky keys again.

  13. I only have one must have, I dont mind looking like a feral but I need my Lucas Papaw Ointment. Im addicted to the stuff. I mostly use it as lip gloss but it had so many uses. Im not sure if you have it in america but its the bomb

  14. @Twired Jen--"Aside from Rob's dick of course." LMFAO!

  15. Ok I just posted the longest comment ever but it got deleted. F'ing blogger is such a dick.

    1. Chapstick because no joke, I've been addicted since I was 11. I cleaned out from under my bed a few weeks ago and found 5 (yes, FIVE) chapsticks. But somehow I end up always losing them, even if I have 3 in my purse. I've been known to go to the store at 1am when I can't find chapstick around my house. It's sad.

    2. Hair straightener. I swear if I don't use one I look like a homeless yeti. Which I guess would just be a Yeti because I don't think most of them have homes. I have no idea how I used to survive without a straightener. I'd hate to look back at pictures.

    3. Covergirl Lash Blast Mascara. If I don't have mascara i end up looking like a 12 year old albino and no one wants that. Don't EVER use the pink shimmery Covergirl Lash Blast Mascara. I know how much we all love sparkles but that shit will burn out your retinas. I made the mistake of wearing it once and ended up laughing so hard I cried, then the next thing I knew, It felt like bleach was being poured in my eyes. Sorry STY, I know you're probably gagging right now. LOVE YOU!

    If this comment and my previous one both post, read that's probably better.

    Next time try to up the list to five items instead of three. This was way too difficult. You should be on the judging panel of Miss America with questions this hard.

  16. @tk - "novel peace prize" I like it...even if it is a typo.

    @jj - I think the wet nap people should hire you for their next ad campaign.*announcervoicesays* "Got a bad case of swamp ass? cum on your chin? Try wet nap." Fucking hilarious, as usual.

    My 3: 1. Carmex, tube, not pot, cuz sticking your finger in there can't be sanitary. 2. Shampoo, cuz I can't live without really clean hair. 3. My herstyler, cuz it curls and straigtens, depending on your mood.

  17. My rabbit vibrator...oh wait...we are talking beauty products weren't we? Um....

    1) My Aveda #15 perfume because @SnarkierThanYou loves it and it makes me happy

    2) Black mascara (no particular brand..still looking for the perfect one) because, like JJ, I have blonde eyelashes.

    3)Hawaiin Tropic SPF 45 Sunscreen. This will do trip duty as a moisturizer, make me smell good, and keep my alabaster skin from frying in the sun.

    BTW I plan on borrowing STY's Aquaphor and @Ithinkpink's My Chi

  18. Keeping this list to 3 is super hard!

    1. a razor because I hate having hairy armpits and legs

    2. a ponytail tie because if I'm on an island with the Cullen man of my choice then he is stuck with me no matter what and I don't plan on doing my hair

    3. most definitely black mascara I'm like VitaminR and don't care what brand because I'm still searching for a good one

    VitaminR I will so need to borrow your sunscreen or I will look like a lobster.

    JJ I thought I was the only person to say swamp husband hates when I say it!

  19. Hmmm, only 3, eh...

    1. Blistex (it's like Carmex, not sure if you have it in the US). I'm not super-lipbalm-addicted, but do use it before bed each night. Sheesh, have we got some balm fans in twitardia... #FORKS, proudly sponsored by Chapstick, anyone?

    2. L'Occitane hand lotion. Religiously, before bed. When I was a clinical nurse my hands were all kinds of fucked up from all the washing, now it's just a habit. mmm.

    3. Moisturising sunscreen, or moisturiser with sunscreen in it. NZ lies right under a hole in the ozone layer and if you don't cream up (she said that) with at least SPF45, you're toast. I'd like to think there'd be shade on this island, but as I'll be nekkid much of the time bumpin uglies with Mr Sparkly, I'll be needing some sun protection ;)

    w/v "Wayin". I'm wayin over my head with this Robsession... but I no complain...

  20. LMAO@ That "gadget" is probably a paper bag with an old picture of Cindy Crawford picture taped to the front, but whatever.

    @TwiredJen - "Aside from Rob's dick of course." PMSL!!

    This is hard. I normally wouldn't consider myself vain, but three things is just not enough. How to choose between being clean and looking good? I want tinted moisturizer and mascara, but think clean teeth and body hair removal take precedence. That being said, my things would be a tinted lip balm, toothpaste and some wax.

  21. I'm one of those people who really SHOULD wear mascara because I have very light pathetic stubby eyelashes but I can't be bothered. Plus, I'm no good at applying and it always ends up looking like shit. I just wish I could afford to get my eyelashes tinted regularly. I love that!

    @TwiredJen - "Aside from Rob's dick of course." PMSL!!

  22. If I am stuck on an island this is what I want with me:

    toothpaste (I can use my finger for a toothbrush if I have to)
    hair/body wash
    Secret Antiperspirant

    I just like to be clean. Showers are my favorite thing :)

  23. @smitten - if we're including oral hygiene, there goes ALL my three - lol! i can't live without glide floss, toothpaste, and a toothbrush (preferably one of those fancy plug-in jobbies, if that can be arranges - we'll have to set up one of those gilligan's island-style generators! LKW can use it insted of her elliptical machine - win-win!

  24. you are hilarious, as always.

    1)maybelline mascara - ya know, the one with the pink tube and green cap.

    2) lip gloss

    3) a push up bra

    also love my davines moisturizer and hairspray.

    a good dermatologist and some good lighting doesn't hurt either;)

    have a great friday babes:)

  25. Swamp ass...bahahaha! That's fucking great. You never know when you might end up with spoodge on your hand by accident.

    As for my top three:

    1. My super awesome fat round brush. It's got a combination of bristles so it smooths really well. I have ridiculously long hair and it gets knotted like fucking dreadlocks if I go more than an hour between brushings, and this brush works out those gnarly fuckers painlessly. Plus, if I use it in conjunction with LKW's hair dryer, I will look fabulous.

    2. Burt's Bees lip balm. I've tried 800 other types of lip balm and none of them are as good as Burt's. Seriously, Chapstick is the suck compared to this stuff. And I used to love me some Chapstick.

    3. Deodorant. It's not just about looking fabulous. If McSparklepeen has super powered smell, I certainly don't want to smell like a fucking linebacker. I can't stand sweaty pits, and I wouldn't want to have to snatch JJ's wet naps in the night.

  26. Hmmmm....must haves...

    I must have a scrunchy to pull my hair back - then I don't need hair products. And before you go "wow -- how 80's of her" I sew my own scrunchies with fabulous material so it is all good.

    I must have my big old sunglasses -- bam -- now I don't need any make up products -- woot -- I am two for two

    Finally -- my Oscar de la Renta perfume. Nuff said.

  27. 1. Count me in as a fellow lip balm addict. My current fave is Aubrey Organic Peppermint & Tea Tree lip balm, it's the bomb of lip balms. I cannot stand dry lips, if I think I don't have one within easy reach, I may freak out.

    2. I have the driest hands/cuticles on the planet so hand cream is a must so I'm bringing my Aveda Hand Relief.

    3. The 3rd one is tough. I'm torn between my Shu Uemura eyelash curler and face moisturizer. Alright, I'm going with my derma e Anti-Aging Moisturizing Complex with SPF 15, anything of their is amazing.

    Happy Friday!

  28. Dry shampoo changed my life. You can't marry it, TK, because I already have 8 kids with it.

  29. I am a big fat failure at sticking to 3 products. I sooo want to be on that island, but damn I look like a corpse (and not the sexy Cullen kind) without makeup. Can my entire makeup bag be considered one item? Please?

    1-Makeup - Almay 16 hr liquid foundation and loose face powder. Perfect for my sensitive skin. But I also can't live without my 5X Maybelline Mascara...and eyeliner, eye shadow, blush, lip gloss. Edward wants me to look good, right?

    2-My big barreled curling iron. Hubby says I'm the only person in the world who perms her super straight/fine hair and then straightens it with a curling iron. But it creates great body!

    3-Blistex. I have nothing but love for all of you Chapstick/Burt's Bees/Carmex fans, but Blistex is my #1 can't live without product. I wouldn't be able to kiss Robward or give him head without it!

    I'm going to sneak my deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste/toothbrush, and lotion into my makeup bag right now. Well, after I buy a bigger bag. Damn I'm vain.

  30. Oooh this is a fun post! These are slightly different from my living-in-the-city products, because of course we're on an island with Edward here (swoon).

    1. Medicated Chapstick. *raises hand* addict. Last thing I do before I go to sleep and first thing I do in the morning is to slather on this stuff.

    2. Aussie Scrunch Spray - one dip in the ocean + one good spraying of this stuff = perfect beach-tousled hair. Light and smells good. Yay.

    3. Deodorant/antiperspirant. I hate to smell and I hate when I start to sweat without it on and my underarms itch. *shudder*

    I really think I could be perfectly happy with these three. I watched LOST; I could be quite inventive to make up for other beauty products. Exfoliant/facewash? Wet sand. Nail file? Palm tree. SPF? Well, staying "indoors" would solve that problem. Heh heh.

  31. I was thinking about this post this morning when I was slathering on about 16 different hair products-- one to make my hair fuller, one to combat the dryness that is the result of making my hair fuller, one to provide hold, one to keep my already straight hair even straighter, one for shine, and it goes on and on.

    Yeah, I'd be real hard pressed if I got stuck on an island somewhere.

    I'm trying to remember how I coped when I went backpacking, since that required days of ZERO product. Not even deodorant, just in case it attracted the bears. But I did have a baggy full of wet naps so there's that.

  32. Jumping right in with my must haves.

    1. Hair tie. I have long, thick hair (yep, I was a Breck girl in my younger days), and I have these babies everywhere. On my keychain, in my purse, in my car, in my bathroom (natch). I panic if I'm without them, honestly. A brush is a bonus, but in a pinch I'll go without and pull a Bella (comb it with my fingers and instant ponytail).

    2. Burt's Bees. I fucking love this company. I especially love their tinted lip color/lip balm. I use it instead of lipstick, and it's pretty much my only cosmetic. I wear actual makeup (like shadow, mascara, powder) like twice a year. Otherwise, it's moisturizer, brush the hair, add lipstick and I'm gone.

    3. You guessed it, moisturizer. I owe my youthful face to it (and my mother's fuckawesome DNA). I'm not a rich hoor, so I buy like Pond's extra rich cream, the knock off Olay stuff, whatever smells good and costs less than $10. Moisturize morning post shower, and before bed. You'll die looking ten years younger, and you'll owe it all to me.

  33. @norcaltwitard - er, i *might* have noticed that "novel" this morning and fixed it... also, i have no idea what you are talking about. we never have typos in our posts. well, TK doesn't... I blame JJ.

  34. @Snarkier Than You - I never have typos. LMT. I'll even wipe with wet naps beforehand. :)

  35. I'm pretty simple. I don't wear much make up or fuss with my hair outside of getting an awesome cut/color, but I do have must haves for the not so made up made-up look:

    1. Eyelash crimper thingy- YES! Going without other essentials is easy compared to leaving this behind. Instant eye opener.

    2. Dermalogica- SPF 15 Under Eye Cream- Tinted in peach (I'm olive skinned). Corrects under eye dark circles...and with my all-things-Twilight habit, this is a MUST.

    3. Physicians Formula Cover/Concealer (yellow)- For late nights.

    4. Mabeline (not my fav brand)clear lip gloss. It has a pink tinge. Alternate with Chapstick.

    5. Almay Smart Shade Blush

    6. Aveda- Volumizing Tonic

    7. Shampoo/Conditioner: Aveda Shampure

    8. Dr. Bronner's Lavender Soap or peppermint. I know this shit is for hippies but it seriously refreshes. *Note to Signifs: Perppermint burns the peen. Oops!

    9. Evian water mist

    I use hairspray on occassion and when I do it's usually some light low scent stuff.

    I might even have to try some of the prods everyone mentioned.

  36. 1) My Sonicare toothbrush w/ UV sanitizer - I just started using this little vibrating fucker after Papa brought it home as a "gift" from our dentist. I am IN.LOVE. in an unnatural way with this thing. It feels like a bristle orgy in my mouth. Plus, I have a feeling that with a little creative engineering, it could serve another "purpose" quite nicely.

    2)Sauve Intense Therapy Lotion - There's nothing magical about it. It's cheap & looks like albino splooge, but it works. The dealio is that I started using it the day I watched Twilight on the big screen for the first time. So now, whenever I smell it, I'm transported back to the day I fell for Rob and it makes me all giddy & shit. Plus, I'm soft as a newborn Renesmee's ass 24/7/365.

    3) Ouidad Climate Control Hair Serum - this miracle was recommended to me by none other than famous author Jodi Picoult. I tweeted her once to compliment her on her consistently GORGEOUS curly red hair, and she responded that this stuff was her secret. Natch, I ordered it. $28 a bottle, but the stuff is AMAZING for defrizzing & smoothing, especially in humidity. (Are you listening STY?!?) You can also get it off the shelf at Sephora, because now Lil' Coug is addicted to it as well & I got her some there for her X-mas stocking.


  37. This is really difficult!
    1.) My toothbrush w/ toothpaste
    2.) My Tee Trea oil shampoo and leave in conditioner
    3.) Hair brush
    4.) Chapstick
    5.) 30 spf Sunscreen

    Sorry, but only three things wasn't happening. LOL!

  38. I am a product h00r..If It's out there.. I own it or have tried it, I am in the wrong buisness..If it's new I am bound to buy it. All the mascara's,foundations,blushes,eye shadows,shampoo,body soap,body wash, facial creams etc..tried em all..YES this is a problem..but, if it's could be good...Right? I 100% endorse Principal Secrets facial cleanser products- there light and work fantastical. But for everything else,...MEH. I always go back to the same things so they must be good..But if you don't want to buy it and want to know about it, ask me I may just know..I currently own over 100+ lipsticks,stains,glosses..Do I have issues??? NO! I just like to keep my options open. What??

  39. Wow, you bitches are gonna look great but I'm not standing next to you. Me? I'm bringing,

    1. Body Wash
    2. Deorderant
    3. Toothpaste

  40. @Breebles

    I TOTALLY FORGOT THE DEODORANT!!! I figured I could use my shampoo as soap. :-) I hear ya though. The first thing I thought of was how do I keep from being a stinky turd with bad breath. LOL!

  41. Geez! Lets see...if I'm on an island, I'm going to need sunscreen SPF 1000+ cause I burn like no other (German/Irish descendants be damned), black mascara, Burt's Bees lip balm, and since I've gone gray too, I'll need a lifetime supply of L'Oreal Excellence hair color #6, Palmer's Olive Butter Formula moisturizer, toothbrush/toothpaste, Redken shampoo and conditioner, hairdryer, Fekkai Glossing Cream, oh... and a nail clipper and nail file (I despise scraggly/broken nails). Three things... yeah, that's impossible for me.

  42. Oh! I forgot that before I leave for this island, I may have to have laser hair removal cause I don't think I'll want to wax or use razors. I'm bringing too much crap as it is. Geez, this is getting expensive!

  43. If I were on a tropical island I'm pretty sure I wouldn't give a shit how I look but for comfort's sake I would want to have:

    1) Carmex (the stuff in the tube)
    2) Happy Hippy shower gel which can double as a shampoo
    3) My Cetaphil ultra hydrating lotion which can double as a hair conditioner.

    Imma try to sneak a toothbrush in there too 'cause sweater teeth - ick.

  44. Shit I can't live without? Well, I'll get there. Let's just start with how awesome this post is. TK, I swear I laugh my ass off every time you post. It's a wonder I can poop anymore. ...You know...cuz my ass fell off.

    Ok, here we go:

    1) Caudalie Cleansing Water. This shit is NO.JOKE. 3-4 drops (literally) on a cotton round, and this grape-based God send will take off any makeup you have goin' on. Including waterproof mascara. And we're not talking a full on rub down. No. Just hold it, swipe it, and it is allll gone. Great for sensitive skin and contact kids, too. One of the small bottles will last me mooonths, even using it every day. Oh, and it great for a quick face cleanse if you're traveling or camping. I cannot suck this product's dick enough. Sephora. Go.

    2) Tweezerman slant tweezers - I am a tweeze-a-holic. My eyebrows are an obsession of mine. Maybe it's because I was teased relentlessly in elementary school b/c of my killer unibrow. We're talkin Frida Kahlo. So I did everything in my power to rid myself of the rug between my eyes. After years of hilarious attempts, I became a pro. Do NOT take away my tweezers.

    3) ACT Mouthwasth. OMG, I am surrounded by dental/oral hygiene products. Yay The Bentist. But I cannot...CANNOT live without this stuff. If I ever have to go a day without it, I might just curl up in a fetal position and pretend to gargle. You might think I'm having a gran mal seizure...

  45. Having just read "Surviving Bella" by Savage7289 I am going to have to go with:

    1) wax - no way am I shaving with a clam shell...fucking ow!

    2)deodorant/anti-perspirant - because if I have to be stuck on an island I need to be able to stand being with me

    3) multi-purpose, life time supply, scented moisturizer

    and if I could have two other items,

    4) frizz serum - for when I am rescued and the media is taking pictures of me

    5)toothpaste - just because I am thinking seafood would be a major part of my diet

  46. Is it wrong that I've been thinking about this post since last night and I can't think of a single thing I would NEED to have? Does that make me low maintenance or just plain lazy?

  47. Proactive cleansing system, because I have the face of a 16 year old...I mean, because I'm 16. Duh.

    I also have to have eye liner and mascara. I look like the walking dead without those two.

  48. I don't go anywhere without my Mac lipstick. I'd walk nude downtown as long as I had my lipstick on. And I'd bring 3 colours just for the variety.

  49. Holy crap I must be really fucking low maintenance because I probably wouldn't bring anything but then I would look so bad that I'd be voted off the island first!

    So to spare you all my fugly natural appearance I would bring:

    1. Inimitable Mascara by Chanel. The original, not the new Intense formula which clumps. It's a bitch to remove so I would have to bring along...

    2. Maybelline Oil Free Make-up Remover.

    3. L'oreal Colour Riche lipstick #843. I must wear a form of sunscreen on my Jay-Z lookalike lips because sunburned lips can ruin my week.

    4. A Buf-Puf to scrub my oily face. You would think at 45 I would have clear skin, think again. I have a zit the size of Mt. St. Helens on my right cheek.

    5. Last, but most important! A small pharmacy of meds and medical supplies for the inevitable sprain, rash, insect bite, menstrual cramp, migraine, panic attack, unplanned pregnancy, cellulitis, dysentary, etc. You fuckers will be thanking me for that!

  50. This is kinda hard! But I am pretty sure I know what I'd bring...

    1. Burts Bees! Like the rest of you, I'm addicted to the stuff. I have a million of them hanging around the house and I'm constantly reapplying. Dry lips are the WORST!

    2. Deodorant. Like the lovely Ms. JJ, I'm a sweaty bitch. ;)

    3. Scented lotion with sunscreen. ;) Like how I did the whole 3 in 1 thing? ;)

    If I could bring a 4th, it'd me my sonicare toothbrush. I FLOVE that thing! And as MamaCougar said, it can easily double as something else mighty useful. ;)

  51. T&T- I use Proactiv too. Have been for at least 5 years now so I couldn't go without it. Its hard for me to narrow it down to three. But if I had to I'd take

    1- Proactiv System

    2- Hair straightner, my hair is naturally straight but it will dry wavy w little flyaway's without a brush or straightener and since the second makes it the straightest I would take it

    3- My whole bag of makeup... it takes a lot to make me look presentable. If I could only take one item from the bag I'd be my Covergirl CG Smoothers Pressed Powder, the lightest color is too dark for my skin but it does the job of covering up my little breakouts and controls the oil.

  52. Like a lot of you, lip balm is my #1 must have. Lately, I've been partial to the blackberry lip balm I got at Dazzled while in Forks. #2 would have to be tweezers, because my eyebrows reconnect every 24 hours like magic. It's not pretty and I have a serious complex about it.
    #3 was a toss up between the toothbrush, soap or deodorant. I figure since I could at least scrub down in ocean water if I got too dirty or stanky, I would bring the toothbrush. After all, plaque build-up is the number one cause of gingivitis, and I need my teeth.
    This was a fun post :)

  53. This was pretty hard to narrow down but I think I got it.

    Eos Lip Balm, any flavor. Its amazing and it comes in a nifty pod!

    DRY SHAMPOO! I seriously wash my hair once a week and that shit is the best. I use it almost everyday!

    Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Creamy Wash (Can I throw in the cream too?)

  54. Proactive cleansing system, because I have the face of a 16 year old...I mean, because I'm 16. Duh.

    I also have to have eye liner and mascara. I look like the walking dead without those two.

  55. @ithinkpink - ok need to borrow your chi - lol! and the mary kay compact - great idea! def counts as one item but it's so much more... : )

  56. If I am stuck on an island this is what I want with me:

    toothpaste (I can use my finger for a toothbrush if I have to)
    hair/body wash
    Secret Antiperspirant

    I just like to be clean. Showers are my favorite thing :)


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