Yesterday-or-so [-ish], THIS burst into the Twilight fandom -
Fine - Stephenie Meyer can write whatever she wants... Or publish whatever she wants, regardless of whenever she wrote it... That said, BREE TANNER?! Why?! Of all the story lines you could have chosen to follow, you pick... Bree Who-Even-Knew-She-Had-A-Last-Name-Tanner?! WHYYYYYYY???? This is akin to the insult I feel when when "Lost" spends an entire episode on some random fucking character that they had no right introducing when there are already thirty seven story lines (and even more characters) plus several functioning time-space-continuums and only seven muther-humping episodes left and I want some FREAKING ANSWERS ALREADY!!!
Really - there are a lot of stories in the Twilight Saga that we all are dying to see unfold (or have read countless fanfics about), and I think i can speak for 99.999% of us when I say that I never had the thought "I wish I knew more about that newborn what's-her-name who might have made a good Cullen/vegetarian vampire but we'll never know oh well..." cross my mind. Nope - not once. We want to know more about Alice's story. About Esme. Carlisle. Jasper and the vampire wars. [JJ's note - LEAH!! What the fuck happens to Leah??!!] Hell, I'd even read more of Rosalie's story, and I think that one was pretty well-covered. And did I miss the part in the books where Emmett's back-story was given? Because all I know it that he was totally bear chow when Rosalie found him and then she hauled his Abercrombie-model-attractive almost-corpse 100 miles back to Carlisle to
Bear: OMFG I am SO hungry and I had better eat so my cubs can nurse HOLY CRAP WTF IS THAT?!
How about the history of the Volturi? Jane? Alec? The Denali clan? Peter and Charlotte? Maybe any one of the nomads who come to bear witness in Breaking Dawn? Seriously, I would take an entire 500-page book devoted to Garrett before I would graciously open my Twilighty arms to the story of Bree. Mostly because I think Garrett is probably totally hot in a Hugh-Jackman-Wolverine kinda way (not entirely my type but certainly a gazillion times more intriguing than an adolescent girl - just sayin').
P.S. I was well into my rant before doing any actual cursory research and discovering that 1) this novella - The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner - will be available at breetanner.com as a free download the first month of its release - June 7th thru July 5th (bring on the server crashes!) because it was too big to add to the Eclipse movie companion and she decided to give it to her fans for free as a gift [did I mention I am a jerk?] and 2) if you DO buy the print copy to add to your collection, Stephenie Meyer will donate $1 to the Red Cross but since none of that really makes any difference to my main gripe with the release of this short story, fuck it, I decided to soldiered on. What can I say - Stephenie Meyer is much nicer than I will ever be (in case there was any doubt in anyone's mind). Now that I read the full details on the novella (and you can read it HERE at Stephenie Meyer's site if you haven't already), I am kind of intrigued. I admit it. I am not sure how this child vampire will have much of a story to tell, and I don't think I will read it prior to seeing Eclipse for the first time (does that count as a potential spoiler? I don't even know any more...), but I'll definitely read it.
Now will you PLEASE HAVE MERCY AND FINISH MIDNIGHT SUN?! GAH!!!