For someone who tried extremely hard to not make eye contact with the Preh-tay, she's trying pretty hard to make him hard.
For some reason, I completely failed with the People's Choice Awards. I maybe had an idea that RPattz was going to be there, but by the time my I realized it was actually on television, it was too late. I didn't record it, I didn't even catch a glimpse during Mr. LKW's constant channel surfing... I only knew what I was missing from the incessant stream of tweets about what people were wearing and who looked fat and why the Rob wasn't walking the red carpet (um, because he didn't want anyone to ask him about his gold lame' coat, that's why!)
So basically it took me days to catch up with all the photos and videos and whatever else I needed to see to give you the Twitarded two cents on the whole thingy. I'm thinking people should just start calling us Twitardy!
Um, first let's just get this out of the way. Kristen Stewart looked pretty hot. Although she's not really my type, Jenny Jerkface, Myg, VitaminR and TK were all discussing the possibility of some girl-on-girl action with her and hoping that her constant twitching didn't make it suck. I thought the dress looked good but shit, if the light catches it just right, she could just about blind everyone within 100 yards of her. And what I wouldn't give to have legs that long and thin. Man that makes me want to kick her skinny ass.
Second... I'm sorry but Taylor Lautner bugs the ever living shit out of me and I want to punch him in his ultra while teeth. Maybe it's because he's too buttoned up.... or maybe it's because it still bothers me that he's not the right height to play Jacob... but man, I just want to smack him. Sorry TL lovers, it's just the way I feel.
Well looky here... little Tay-Tay is going in for an ass grab. In front of Rob no less... ballzy. I hope Rob punches his face in so I don't have to.
And last, but certainly not least, Rob... *sigh* It's always nice to see Mr. Dorkalicious when he comes out to play. He looked especially dorky and maybe a little boyish with his clean shaven jaw and black shirt buttoned up to the top - which I theorized was because in order to make sure he didn't misbutton the shirt, he had to start at the very top to get it all right. The jacket however, needs to be heaped into a pile with the brown puffy leather coat, doused with gasoline and set on mutherfucking fire.
I don't care if your jacket is from Dries Van Noten's spring collection. I still think it should be engulfed in flames. After you take it off in my bedroom of course.
But what really kills me about the whole night happens 14 seconds into this video... when that heart breaker KStew snubs the attempt at the hand hold. What. The. Fuck? I'm pretty sure my exact reaction to that little stunt was "if he tried to hold my hand, I'd drop to my knees and blow him in front of the world." I guess that's the difference between me and KStew... I'm a shameless slut. I can't believe she nearly gave him a handjob sitting in the audience (see hand on knee above), but wouldn't let him escort her to the stage with an innocent hand hold?
It kinda made me a little sad for him and I'm just saying now, if she breaks his heart, there's going to be a Twitarded posse coming to get her and it ain't going to be pretty. She has no idea the ninja skillz we'll unleash on her cold black heart.
TGIF twat waffles!