Monday, January 31, 2011

Bill Condon Has RPattz on Lockdown.

I've had a bit of the winter blues these days. And it's not the snowy reasons that have gotten everyone else around here down either... I happen to love winter and snow. Nope, my doldrums have a direct correlation to the deep, dark RPattz black hole we seem to be stuck in right now. I miss his face. I know I can see his face anytime I want with a quick click of a button on Google, but I miss his "today" face. The beautiful face that's busy filming a couple of little movies down in Louisiana.

Hmmmm pretty.... but I need more. I always need more. My Rob-lust is not easily satisfied.

It seems that our fearless Breaking Dawn leader, Bill Condon, has the BD set in Baton Rouge on a lockdown fit for a prison riot at Sing Sing. I really feel bad for all of you out there who decided to go full on spoiler whore for this one because it ain't happening. May as well just put your pants back on and head home! [Note from TK: Nooooo!!!!! Fuck you, Bill Condon!] I'm beginning to think we should feel lucky we got what we did when they were filming in Brazil because shit has seriously dried the fuck up.

Although Jumpy Rob was a barrel of laughs for sure!

Maybe this is because all the locals are determined to keep the set protected. Or maybe it's because the crew has signed confidentiality agreements tighter than Bella's pussy. Even two of our resident masterful trench crawlers (I'm looking at you Laxplays and AGirlintheSouth) couldn't catch a glimpse of one fucking famous person. But then again, it's hard to know who you're looking at when you see two of everyone. Tip for next time girls: less drinky drinky, more stalky stalky.

I believe you can learn a lot from the kitteh.

Condon is smart though... giving us tiny little peeks into the movie... the feathers... then the picture... you know the one. That one that gave us all a spontaneous orgasm. That one in my Entertainment Weekly that I may have licked so much the page has been reduced to a soggy mess (kind of like my panties). Did he honestly think some fucking feathers in a hand and the humpty hump pic would tide us over for ten months? He obviously doesn't know us that well then, does he? We need this for survival!

Unf... yes... more please.

According to some reports, it's not going to get any better when the production moves to Vancouver. There have been grumblings of a "confinement unit." What the fuck does that mean? Are they afraid the cast is going to riot? All I can picture is a bunch of dudes with guns standing around making sure anyone who messes up their lines is properly punished. Um... wait a minute. Can I volunteer to dole out some spankings?

Is this another way of telling us the riot police will be in full force to impede our advancements in set stalking?

But I swear to all that is holy, if I don't get some set pics soon, I'm going to have nothing but a giant Karate Kid crane kick to the balls for Mr. Condon. So Bill... can I call you Bill? I'm thinking you better be a little more forthcoming with some photos if you value your family jewels. Seriously, I'd have even been happy with a picture of Rob eating his sandwich, or picking up a sandwich or doing whatever he was doing to that gah damn sandwich. What is wrong with those people in the deli? We need fucking pictures!

How many more days? No, don't tell me. It'll just depress me. JMFHF!

PS: UPDATE - I wrote this post earlier this afternoon... and it's like my prayers were answered. A short time ago, I saw this pic on Robsessed. Alas, it's like someone just gave me a teaspoon of water after a month in the desert. Mutherfuckers.


  1. I refuse to put my pants back on and will keep my status as spoiler h00r on high alert. I will take todays pictures and cross my fingers they will be doubled soon.

    Give us a break Bill... I need it, I want it, I gotta have it and will do anything for a little sneak peek. And frankly I mean anything. I take my status as spoiler h00r seriously ;)

  2. Well, it looks like he has appropriately avoided the sun. Good job pale-face-rob.

  3. I swear if Bill doesn't start coughing up some more spoilers soon, I'll put him in LKW's freezer myself. Don't get between an addict & her next fix.

  4. This is the worst dry spell of all time. Need that damn fix!

    Oh, and Stalker Cat....I laughed for a good 5 minutes just staring at that. What can I say? The little things make me happy!

  5. Wonder if we could work out a little dealie-poo?

    Dear Mr. Condon,
    We will trade you blow jobs for Robward pictures! Pleeze!

  6. I flove this post and couldn't agree more. He must not know who/what he is dealing with here. We will get violent and start dealing out countless BJs just to get a freakin tiny pic of Robward. That little fuzzy pic is not doing it for me. MORE FEATHERS! :)

  7. This dry spell is cruel and unusual punishment.

    Fuck the feathers. I want the cock.

  8. I am going all spoiler free on this one. My lone exception was if I spied something good with my own little eyes in BR. Turns out it's been easy. All I've seen is the humping photo.

    We came so close, even dashing, knickerless, from bed at all hours racing around town. Turns out we were in all the right places on the wrong weekend. We cried the whole way home. I hate you Bill Condon.

    Oh, and I'd argue there needed to be MORE drinky drinky.

  9. It's sad but weird that about the time you were writing this post I was sighing loudly at work and barely refraining from saying "I miss Rob" out loud. Not that they're unaware at my office of my long-long-long distance relationship, but still, I try to maintain a level of maturity at work. Sort of. Nice pictures today, but lacking. Definitely lacking. Come on, Dean, just take him on one wrong turn, okay?

  10. Gawd I feel bitchy this morning. Don't know if it is the coming snowpocalyspe or the lack of rob prOn finally getting to me. Yeah, some pics would be nice. I'm a little, no make that a lot peeved that the fans are getting shut out of the process. So what, a few pics or a script get leaked. It's not like it makes these movies suck any harder. Seriously, they really need to be grateful that we are so in love with the actors/characters that we sit through their effed up movies repeatedly. They should be kissing our asses! No way in hell do they deserve beejers.

    Rant over. Going to need to do some yoga today to try to get calm.

  11. Yes!!

    Dear Mr. Condon, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I guarantee you and your package would prefer the easy way. We'd prefer easy also, it's one of the traits required as part of our twitard job description!

  12. LKW, as much as I like pictures, it is almost as exciting to hear you talk about the P...for those of us for whom it was always (almost only) about him.
    But I must say the Robsessed picture is cool because he looks slightly bulkier in it. And I don't mean 6-pack wise. Just a bit more man and a little less boy. Wah. That's what I respond to.

  13. I totally think he's doing it on purpose... he's evilly twisting his hands and enjoying the torture he has bestowed upon us. Fucker. Let's see you try the evil hand twist when you're soothing your freshly kicked ball sack!

  14. They are keeping that set TIGHT this time aren't they. Assholes. Eventually someone will get in! HAHAHA!

    (JakeBlacksH00R - you and I are going to Vancouver.)

    I have a question...Are the word verifications you have to enter in just random letters they put together. I don't think I've ever actually gotten a real word.

  15. Trench crawlers rule!!!!!


  16. I honestly think Skummit is making a mistake keeping things this locked down. They're killing rather than building the buzz.

    I'm willing to wander aimlessly around Vancouver the weekend of March 4 on the off chance of running into someone,somewhere.

    Jackson,btw,will be there FoShure. (100 Monkeys, Friday night at Venue. I've got my tickets! )

  17. It's so dry around here we are going to have to invest in vats of Vagisil to cure the dry itchies. I refuse to put my pants back on dammit!!!! I think we need to send someone in....we need a spy.....Lorabell...I am looking at you.

  18. Ugh....This drought is killin me. I need The Prehtay and I need him RIGHT MEOW. These random shots are just a breeze across my nips. I need a full on tug, people! GIMME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH!!!

  19. @Lindsay Rae

    OMG! You have successfully made me choke on my coffee this morning just form reading this comment. "These random shots are just a breeze across my nips. I need a full tug!" DUDE! I LOVE YOU I THINK! LOL!


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