I'll be the first to admit it - I'm an asshole.
When I originally started writing this post, it began somewhere along the lines of "I know a lot of you have been asking us if we're planning a trip to Forks this year. It is with great regret that I have to say, no. We're not."
But then I remembered that I basically told people on Twitter we were most definitely planning a trip to Forks so there's that. Plus, I was a little worried y'all might band together and do something really awful to me if I fucked with you.
So, without further ado...
WE'RE GOING BACK TO FOOOOOOORKS, BITCHES!!!
That's right, we are once again planning another pilgrimage to the hometown of our favorite mopey heroine and her hot-ass sparkly boyfriend/husband.
I have to admit, I'm kind of shocked they're even letting us back (this might have something to do with the fact that Forks hasn't caught wind of our Sparkly-Mecca Adventures, Part Deux) but it's happening. Mainly because none of us have stopped talking about how much of a fuck-awesome time we had last year.
Because, honestly? We all pretty much agreed that it was the best time we'd ever had. And it wasn't just the fact that I almost hurled all over Forever17 Lisa and Twilove Sue during our Twilight tour, either (apparently I get carsick. Who knew?). Or leg hitching the shit out of Cullenary Curser (and countless others) and shouting over the logging trucks with Mrs. P.
It was because of all of you. It was crazy and hysterical and there was SO much laughing and meeting all of you was just so. fucking. awesome. Plus, I got heckled by cops and didn't end up in jail. Where the hell else will THAT ever happen?
Which is why we're going back. And we hope you will be able to join us. We're not entirely sure what's going to go down this year (we have plans, people! Big, sparkly, motherfucking plans. We don't know if they'll come through, but we have them nonetheless.)
Here's the deal though - we've received oodles of emails from you lovely twat-rots and many of you have requested specific dates. While we would love to accommodate all of you, the only way we could do that would be to move out to Forks permanently. And I'm far too much of an East Coast asshole to do that. We hope you understand and don't send us hate email.
That being said... drum roll please.
The dates of our "Twitarded Goes to FOOOORRRKKS!!! aka "It's (the last) Time" are going to be from September 29, 2011 to October 2, 2011.
Sound familiar? Yeah, we like consistency, what can I say.
Now that we're kind of old hats at this, we figured this would be easier than last year and we'd be able to just dump a shit-ton of information on you.
As usual, we were wrong. Therefore, we will once again be reviving our Twitarded Goes to FOOOORRRKKS!!! blog as the go-to for information.
Over the next few weeks (okay, months - MANY months!), we'll be providing information and sign-up sheets (er, once we figure out what it is that we're actually doing) and all that other technical jazz that seems to be required to drink your weight in vodka and terrorize the good people of Forks by walking drunkenly down the street at 1 in the morning with twenty other women.
Hot damn, I just can't wait.
I'm so excited I think I just pooped myself.
Here it is...your moment of Robert Pattinson
5 hours ago