Up until this point in my life, I don't think I've ever called someone a whore as much as I have in the past two years, nor have I ever been called a whore... even though I am one. And then I met JJ, STY, TK and all the rest of the Twitarded family where "whore" became a term of endearment. You want to be called a whore... or a hoor... or a h00r... however you spell it, it's almost a status symbol. An indication of your acceptance.
Even Ron Burgundy is on to us and evidently is not too happy with our distinction. Whatevs, Ron. Go back to your news desk already.
Huh? I thought he liked whores. Or maybe he already has a place on Whore Island. Sorry dude, only a select few penises are allowed on our island and they must fucking sparkle in order to be granted entrance. If it sparkles... we will come...
Why do I giggle when he says "whore" or "pussy" or anything else somewhat duuuurty?
So where was I? I know I actually had a point here... somewhere... Oh, right... yesterday I was playing on the Twitter and shirking my employment obligations when I decided to do a few Google Image searches. That's always good for a gigglesnort. And since my victim of the day was @texaskatherine mainly because of the "twilight fan fail" photo she taunted me with, I did a few whore-y searches for her.
Typed: "TK is a whore" - I found a bunch of shit that was boring and had nothing to do with TK. But I also found this...
Do I have my Christmas shopping done already? Hey TK, wanna borrow my BGPs? They're pretty fucking awesome... and they have a pretty picture of RPattz on them too.
Of course, since I found this on Cafe Press I figured I had to do a little more digging. And that's when I found the mutherfucking mother lode... The TK WHORE STORE! You can just about anything you want to tell the world that TK is a Whore.
I'm not one to give these types of gifts but maybe Mr. TK would like the link... Or maybe he'd like a pair of his own...in his pocket... to remind him what's waiting at home...
You know how Ellen hands out boxers to all the celebs with her name on them... here you go TK, already designed and ready to go. You should send a pair to RPattz! I think he already has the Ellen pair. [Note from TK: I would TOTALLY send these to RPattz.]
But having the attention span of a 3 year old hopped up on soda has its consequences and I quickly moved on to other searches.
Typed: "texaskatherine is a whore"
Here's a sampling of the screen I was greeted with...
First of all, did anyone notice it asked if I meant "texas katherine is a whore"? Cracked my shit up! Trying to correct my grammar? Grammar doesn't care if TK is a whore or not.
Imagine my surprise when I saw this results page. Does anyone look familiar? Can you pick out the various members of Twitarded in this picture? And why the mutherfuck does my old blog header come up again? Was I that much of a fucking dirty whore? Don't answer that... It's like a virtual Where's Waldo of Twitarded.
And apparently, with the number of RPattz photos that show up, he thinks she's a whore too. I hope he thinks I'm a whore. I hope he wants me to prove to him I'm a whore. I'd love to show him my whorish ways. All night long...
At least in my searches, I found a nice housewarming gift for TK... I always like a nice cross stitch. I hope she likes it.
Happy Hump Day H00rs! Oh and for the record... 29 (the number of times "whore" appears in this post, oh shit, 30 since I just typed it again!)