Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Google Knows We're All Whores.

Up until this point in my life, I don't think I've ever called someone a whore as much as I have in the past two years, nor have I ever been called a whore... even though I am one. And then I met JJ, STY, TK and all the rest of the Twitarded family where "whore" became a term of endearment. You want to be called a whore... or a hoor... or a h00r... however you spell it, it's almost a status symbol. An indication of your acceptance.

Even Ron Burgundy is on to us and evidently is not too happy with our distinction. Whatevs, Ron. Go back to your news desk already.


Huh? I thought he liked whores. Or maybe he already has a place on Whore Island. Sorry dude, only a select few penises are allowed on our island and they must fucking sparkle in order to be granted entrance. If it sparkles... we will come...



Why do I giggle when he says "whore" or "pussy" or anything else somewhat duuuurty?

So where was I? I know I actually had a point here... somewhere... Oh, right... yesterday I was playing on the Twitter and shirking my employment obligations when I decided to do a few Google Image searches. That's always good for a gigglesnort. And since my victim of the day was @texaskatherine mainly because of the "twilight fan fail" photo she taunted me with, I did a few whore-y searches for her.

Typed: "TK is a whore" - I found a bunch of shit that was boring and had nothing to do with TK. But I also found this...

Do I have my Christmas shopping done already? Hey TK, wanna borrow my BGPs? They're pretty fucking awesome... and they have a pretty picture of RPattz on them too.

Of course, since I found this on Cafe Press I figured I had to do a little more digging. And that's when I found the mutherfucking mother lode... The TK WHORE STORE! You can just about anything you want to tell the world that TK is a Whore.

I'm not one to give these types of gifts but maybe Mr. TK would like the link... Or maybe he'd like a pair of his own...in his pocket... to remind him what's waiting at home...

You know how Ellen hands out boxers to all the celebs with her name on them... here you go TK, already designed and ready to go. You should send a pair to RPattz! I think he already has the Ellen pair. [Note from TK: I would TOTALLY send these to RPattz.]

But having the attention span of a 3 year old hopped up on soda has its consequences and I quickly moved on to other searches.

Typed: "texaskatherine is a whore"

Here's a sampling of the screen I was greeted with...

First of all, did anyone notice it asked if I meant "texas katherine is a whore"? Cracked my shit up! Trying to correct my grammar? Grammar doesn't care if TK is a whore or not.

Imagine my surprise when I saw this results page. Does anyone look familiar? Can you pick out the various members of Twitarded in this picture? And why the mutherfuck does my old blog header come up again? Was I that much of a fucking dirty whore? Don't answer that... It's like a virtual Where's Waldo of Twitarded.

And apparently, with the number of RPattz photos that show up, he thinks she's a whore too. I hope he thinks I'm a whore. I hope he wants me to prove to him I'm a whore. I'd love to show him my whorish ways. All night long...

At least in my searches, I found a nice housewarming gift for TK... I always like a nice cross stitch. I hope she likes it.


Happy Hump Day H00rs! Oh and for the record... 29 (the number of times "whore" appears in this post, oh shit, 30 since I just typed it again!)

24 comments:

  1. I just peed a little looking at the google search for "texaskatherine is a whore." In fact, I even did the search myself (not because I didn't TRUST you....) just to make sure. Yup. Funny shit! My heart even got all "awwww" when I saw your pics up there. Cuz I miss you h00rs/hoors/whores.

    So...about those BGPs...Has anyone contacted Red_Bella about TK getting her own pair of BGPs? Maybe an unveiling in Forks? Hmmm??!? You all can wear your Rob-laced underthings and it will be great. Promise.

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  2. If it sparkles...we will come. Damn straight we will, like the bunch of Twitarded h00rs we are! Love you gals...hard!

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  3. I ❤ to use h00r, twat, as a term of endearment for my ((i))[#]'s. And I love that we all can just let it fly with pride. I Love all ya'll h00rs..And I love ya'lls blogs..you keep me smiling and PMSL..You girls are amazeballs..
    惄

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  4. Lmao! rottymama's avi is on the bottom row...

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  5. @Lindsay Rae--I will have a pair of cunt covers, but I have to get a cartoon first. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for an unveiling at Forks 2024.

    @Google--Fuck you.

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  6. I feel I should point something out here. I'm sure you have most definitely been called a whore before.

    But just never to your face. :)

    I also love the phrase "shut your whore mouth". I don't know why. I just think it's awesome.

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  7. I'm starting to wonder if LatchkeyWife's banner comes up any time you google images about Twilight things, Hmmmmm. Interesting.

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  8. I don't know what is funnier . . . this post, . . . or the news report I just heard that some idiot near Philly [Bensalem] pulled a loaded gun on a snow plow driver for clearing the parking lot [and plowing his car in!]

    I'd rather be a whore/hoor/h00r than an idiot!

    Latchkey Wife, Stop picking on TK, you whore! :)

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  9. Sooooo, TK? Are we just all whores by association now? is that the deal?! How in the HELL did my pic end up this google search?? *glares innocently*

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  10. Seeing that I'm known for blogging about whores so often, I find this post super endearing.

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  11. @TheRugbyMom--See what I have to endure?!! Thank you for your empathy.

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  12. omg, all of those Rob pics showing up...hysterical!

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  13. boo! You whore! ;)

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  14. ROFL!!! Oh my LKW, this is just what I needed this morning! The results of that google search are priceless, especially the Did you mean.... And that cross stitch-perfect!!!

    "If it sparkles... we will come." BRILLIANT!!!!

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  15. Everyday this blog gets better and better. I just want to squeeze sweetlolapop for introducing me to this blog! I love her and you guys! I am so happy to be considered a h00r! EEP! Ive never even typed it that way! Hee!

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  16. @Dixielou143--If Lola sent you, you must be good people. Welcome, h00r!

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  17. LMAO! There are so many avatars popping up in that window. That is freaking hilarious.

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  18. Aww! My barbies show up in the search. Glad I can contribute to the h00r-ish ways. Even though TK doesn't have one. Yet.

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  19. @Cinzia--ZOMG THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME!! *squeals like a 9 yr old girl*

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  20. Apparently, I'm not a h00r yet... at least by Google's standards. So that's something. I guess.

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  21. LMFAO! "If it sparkles...we will come" @lkw this is the most epic line ever, except you spelled cum wrong. I am totes going to make that line part of my email signature. Lol

    I fluffy heart all you h00rs!

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  22. OMG! I Love you Ladies! Hellooooo, all the way from Germany!

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  23. So, what does it take to officially become one of your h00rs? I think I love you ladies more than I love Twilight *gasp*

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  24. ROFL!!! Oh my LKW, this is just what I needed this morning! The results of that google search are priceless, especially the Did you mean.... And that cross stitch-perfect!!!

    "If it sparkles... we will come." BRILLIANT!!!!

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