One minute you're asking advice on what conditioner to use for brittle hair and the next someone is accusing you of giving the devil anal because you use Breck instead of Pantene.
Most people refer to these obnoxious parasites as trolls or flamers. I call them stupid ass-face-shitting-cock-gobblers.
I love those types of people, because I love fucking with them, which probably means I'm teetering on the precipice of ass-face shitting myself but whatever.
For some baffling reason, Twitarded very, very rarely encounters this type of douchery, which blows my fucking mind. Here we are, a bunch of 30 and 40+ year old women carrying on about sparkly vampires and a certain British hottie and no one tries to spew vitriol in our comments section. We talk about poop - nothing. Dry humping RPattz - not a peep from the ass-faces. If you think about it, we are practically HANDING people their insults yet... no one comes. We call each other whore and twat and then we laugh and laugh and give each other virtual kisses and no one comes stomping into our playground yelling "YOU'RE ALL STUPID CUMDUMPSTERS!!"
And I know for a fact that one of us is a little disappointed by this. I mean, I don't want to lose my edge or anything. Gotta keep those mental talons sharp, ya know?
Yesterday, however, we received an email from Latchkey Wife entitled "we've become a demotivational poster".
I'll admit it -- I was excited. Frankly, it's about fucking time. So with eager hands I clicked on the link.
THAT'S FUCKING IT?! That's the best you can do, demotivational-poster-person? Honestly, I can't even believe you wasted your time.
I was waiting to be lambasted, maybe even insulted. Instead, I was staring at one of the lamest demotivational posters EVER. Jeezus, I could come up with something better than that in my sleep.
So, with the help of LKW (because she knows how to use photoshop and I can barely wipe my own ass) I came up with a few of my own.
Not very funny? Fine, how about this:
Actually, you know what? I've got an even better idea. Why don't you guys write your own captions in the comments section? Snarky, mean, offensive, whatever you want.
Go to town, bitches. Make us proud.