## Thursday, January 20, 2011

### Ready Or Not, Here We Come! (Um, We're SO Not Ready.)

We sold that mfs OUT.

OK so last year when we started taking about Forks we waited and then we let everyone know we were going and after that we started calling motels (there are no "hotels" in Forks) in order to determine where the hostile Twitarded take-over would go down and THEN we let everyone know the plan, little by little, as we figured it out. And you know how slow we are!

THIS year, things have already taken on a life of their own... People booked their rooms before we had even announced the dates, let alone the venue--I'm lookin' at YOU, Double Dippin (and btw JJ accidentally called you "Double Dickin'" the other night and let's just say you have a new name in these parts).

If I can digress for a moment, according to Wikipedia and a whole lot of other equally reliable sources, January 18th was "Blue Monday." It's officially "The Most Depressing Day of the Year," and I totally felt it.
$\frac{[W + D-d] T^Q}{M N_a}$
where weather=W, debt=d, time since Christmas=T, time since failing our new year’s resolutions=Q, low motivational levels=M and the feeling of a need to take action=Na

I've been holed up here at Casa Snarky, working from home due to not-serious-but-temporarily-somewhat-debilitating medical issues, and I have barely left the house in a week. It took approximately 36 hours for me to start looking homeless (and not in the good RPatts hobolicious way), and today I only put on real pants (grudgingly) in order to be presentable enough to go buy a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby (totally serious). Can I mention the fact that I love that the weather is cold enough for me to cover my not-recently-washed hair with a hat and scarf? Yeah, it's bad...

Jammies + bunny slippers = official business suit of the home office worker.

What's keeping me going? This. All of this. We just quietly passed our two-year blog anniversary here at Twitarded. When I feel blue, I come here. You guys make things better. So does thinking about the trip to Forks (past and future). Yeah, I know that Forks 2011 is eight months away, but I have it on good authority that these months will FLY by and faster than you can click your heels together and say "SPARKLE PEEN!!!" you'll be packing your flask, Mini-E, and anti-social-anxiety meds and heading to the beauuuutiiiiful Olympic Peninsula. Trust.

For the people who are considering jumping on this crazy train for the first time or for you folks who were so intoxicated having such a blast last year that you need a refresher, here's the skinny (or at least what little - and it's verrrry little - that we have planned thus far):

We'll probably be arriving in Forks on Thursday, September 29th and we'll leave on Sunday, October 2nd (it's possible that we might be in Seattle on Wednesday or Thursday night; we'll keep you posted!). While we're there, we'll be shacking up at the Forks Motel (we chose them because they were the friendliest). I've been told that they (along with the rest of the town!) are anxiously awaiting our return. In a good way. Really! Our reputation precedes us... And they like us! Mostly because we will drink our weight in cocktails at local establishments during our stay, but let's not quibble - they REALLY like us! You can check out the accommodations at the Forks Motel HERE. Drop our name for a sweet 10% discount (it's Forks - you CAN say "Twitarded" to the nice person on the phone).

Need to find other people to share rooms with, carpool, or just to have a hand to hold while you are there??? Thanks to our volunteer moderators Jaymes805 (from Borderline Phenomenal) and Double Dippin, the Twitarded Forks Forum is up and running again HERE! While we'll be posting updates here and on the Forks blog, the forum is the best place to find a Twitarded partner in crime (or several) to share your misadventures (and to defray the costs of said misadventures).

We don't have anything specific planned for our stay yet - last year, we kept things very loose [note from JJ: like Latchkey Wife's vagina] so that everyone had the opportunity to spend their days sightseeing and their nights hanging with fellow Twitards, and we'll likely do something similar this year. This is NOT a "Twilight Convention" so there isn't a lot of structure. That said, there is a lot to see in the area. I am not outdoorsy AT ALL and I would not really describe myself as the sightseeing type, but the area is absolutely breathtaking. I almost skipped the trip to Kalaloch Beach so that I could go check out the thrift shop around the corner from the motel, and it would have been a HUGE mistake. The beaches and Olympic National Park/Hoh Rain Forest are simply stunning and not to be missed.

Rialto Beach - I want to go back to there.

Kalaloch Beach
JJ and I actually walked on water! This area is magical, folks.

Here's a little snippet of the video taken by Gus last year (made me teary!) - more to come, but this brings me back and makes me want big hugs from all you guys all over again! I won't have to wait long...

(er, this is from 10/2/10, not 10/10/02 - lol...)

Hope to see you there for Round II!

P.S. For those of you who won't be able to sleep until you have nailed down an exact travel plan, you can find Olympic Peninsula-dweller VitaminR70's awesome and extremely detailed directions for getting to Forks HERE. Oh, and take the ferry - it's amazing!

1. I'm so excited for you all. I won't be coming because I have some very special things to do in the area, but I hope to hang with some of you before or after in Seattle.

Have a blast.

2. I was definitely getting winter blues and getting that antsy gotta get out of the house feeling, and now I am so much better for thinking about this trip and the excitement over it. My husband is coming this time and he is really excited too. He actually called me the other day from work just to say "We're going to FOOORRRKKS!" Yeah, he's a keeper.

Can't wait ladies! And the video. Tear.

3. I can't tell u how fucking excited I am about Forks 2011. I have made sooooo many friends because of & since Forks version 1.0. This time around I know it will be even more epic! I cant wait to shack-up with @jaymes805 @amandakmelby & @alltwiedup & see all my other favorite twi-h00rs.

vw: oracaless..Like I was totally oracaless before I found twitarded.

4. SQUEEEE!!!

I love that my three sisters are here - STY, MissTejota and Living with Edward.

Forks is the best and I am so glad that Twitarded is putting this all together again. So full of win it isn't even funny!!

Can't wait!!!!

5. Dangrdafne said it, now I have to.

Squeeee!!!

Balance can now be restored to The Force.

6. That video made my day. *sigh*

I would like to say to fellow Twitards - if you're even pondering going, do it. You won't regret it at all. I'll already regretting not going this year.

P.S. Hope you're feeling better.

P.S.S. @Double Dippin' - you are now obliged to change your name. Just sayin'

P.S.S.S - FOOOORRRKKKKSSSSSS 2012 right? RIGHT!?!?!

P.S.S.S - all these p.s. are getting redonkulous right?

7. I WILL NOT be changing my name..Double_Dickin MY ASS..I mean ..NO..wait..that just sound all wrong..and..and..sticks and stones and shit.. What can I say?? I was too excited.. and, I was hoping for the same dates...Anywho..I can't wait to meet all you ((i))[#]'s again..and see all the newbs that make it this year..Looking forward to the Lodge for some mad bacon N eggs.. But for reals...you gals are the shiz niz fo sho...❤lesters

8. What a great video! I can't wait to see the Twi-hoors again!

9. That video just made my heart happy. No joke, I teared up during the speeches while watching the live version... they were just so awesome and plus I'm a little bitch who cries at everything.

I've said this a million times this week, last week, last month and every day since October: I can't freaking wait for this trip. I was all shy and shit last time, plus 20 minutes after arriving in WA I found out some VERY shitty family stuff that was happening so that put a damper on things. Hopefully this year that won't be the case (even though it's still happening) and I'll overdo it on the Vitamin R and Twitard bonding. :)

Double Dickin, what did we get ourselves in to?? Volunteering to help out...uh oh! Hope everyone goes easy on us!

I also just realized that @amandakmelby and I never had breakfast at the Lodge. We just had breakfast at The In Place across from the motel. And yes, we drove there. We're awesome like that.

STY- hope everything gets better soon luv!!!

10. Oh I forgot to Squee. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

11. @STY Hope your feeling better.

OMG! I was getting all teary-eyed and then the cursing started and I cracked up! So many memories! They need to tear down that wall so all the other people can be filmed next time!

We need to have a great big circle so that everyone can go around and introduce themselves. Hi I am Rottymama and I am TWITARDED!
FOOORRKKSS2011!

Gusflix is going to get alot of hits on YT!

Oh & instead of Idaho Spud candy, I gonna get Idaho potato pins!

12. Snarky Love! I will be sending positive vibes your way for whatever it is that ails you right now. Sounds like it sucks, so sorry 'bout that.

So I've decided that it is a priority to meet up to y'all in Port Angeles. I didn't get up there last year, and I totally hate that I didn't get to share that time. Come to think of it, I was kind of bummed at the lack of time I was able to spend with a TON of peeps. The weekend went by SO fast.

I have a request. Can we make sure that no one starts an EPIC fanfic that ends while we're in FORKS!? Because I was slayed with the last chap of Osa Bella...I don't think I could handle that again. Not that it wasn't worth it. HOLY SHITBALLS was it worth it. So, JJ, that means you can't finish 15 Step while we're there, m'kay? I don't think you'll have a problem with that because you are one fuckawesome slacker... Speaking of...I thought you weren't gonna make me wait very long for an update?

13. STY- Hope you're feeling back to normal soon :)

PMSL at your walking on water caption!

I am really, severely bummed that I wont be able to make Forks installment #2. But I guess my wedding is sort of important. Kinda makes me wonder why the heck the venue I liked didn't have any other dates but Sept. 30th. Boo.

To All: YOU MUST GO! If you haven't gone and are thinking about going, feel free to email me @ sotwired@gmail.com I'd be happy to offer advice and or direction. I drove from SeaTac to Forks alone with no problemo!

xo J

PS Are we going to get to see the pics Gus took???

14. hi twitarted ladies...ummm i'm new here. don't know where to start. how bout i start with I REALLY WANT TO GO TO FORKS WITH ALL YOU BITCHES! i'm kinda new to the fandom but would love to go! i feel like i should have a rob devoted website or else i won't be welcome. i don't have a site but i do read a lot of fucking fanficion! i really want to go to forks but i don't know any of you! anyone want to make a new twiarted friend? i'm libbybelle523 on twitter or libbybelle523@gmail.com. i think all you ladies are amazing and you make me laugh with each comment you make! yes i've been a bit of a stalker! i'd love to talk to anyone of you and maybe just maybe meet some of you in Forks?....

15. I'll have you know that I missed my teapot being ready because I was so busy squeeing. NOT ACTUALLY KIDDING.

I also sobbed with joy to hear my darling Lindsay Rae's husky voice at the beginning of the vid. Husky not because that's how she usually sounds, but because her throat was sore from all the blow jobs COUGH I mean squeeing.

And then at the end I got a glimpse of me AND Toey, and I got choked up because I love that h00r, and I met her because of you. Seriously, Twitarded, you guys introduced me to one of my best friends, ever. So STY, I totally get the winter blues thing (whoever decided that it should be called Seasonal Affective Disorder so the acronym would be SAD deserves to be cunt-punched). But when it's getting you down, remember all of the amazing that you've created with this blog - and that you gave me my best friend :)

16. I'm so jealous I can feel my skin turning green! Would LOOVVEE to go to Forks with some like-minded twats!! But with 4 kids under the age of 12, just going to the grocery store by myself requires an act or two of Congress, plus sneaking-out-of-the-house-so-nobody-sees-me-going skills reminiscent of my high school days.....hell, just going to the bathroom requires all of that. So I don't see myself making the trip to Fooorks....so, so sad. But you'd better believe I will live vicariously through all of you who are going, so make it fuck-awesome, for me, please!!

17. I was SOOOO mad that I didn't get to make it last year but with it announced late summer, I didn't have the resources at that time to go but you bet your RPattz panties that my sweet ass is going this year (knock on wood)!

I have booked my room, found one roommate already (hi Edbrella!!), booked my car from Seattle Airport and now am watching flight prices. I am so excited to meet you beotches in person it is killing me-September seems very far away! Hope all you "returning" campers help us newbies out! :)

18. My sister and I are horning in on your fun! Just booked our room!

I am a FORKS2011 newbie! I am super pumped! I've been over to the forum and left some thoughts/questions there! I am looking for people to travel with, bunk with, whatever! SO please feel free to chat me up or e-mail me! BBSapphire24@gmail.com

SOOOO EXCITED!

20. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! MUTHA EFFING SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

If you can go...GO!! That is my advice. I've never had more fun with a bunch of chicks as I did in Forks!

21. Shit, that video made me cry and I wasn't even there...but I will be this time! Thanks for giving us the opportunity to share in FORKS2011 with such a great bunch of Twitarded (i)(#)s!

22. The more I read everyone's comments here and on JJ's post earlier this week, the more psyched I am getting! I am not sure I can maintain this level of anticipation for another eight months - I might implode - lol!

And I FLOVE that video. I can't wait to see more footage from the trip! Gotta go bug GusGus...

xoxo

23. That video totally made me cry... mostly it was a happy cry because I didn't look like as big of an asshole as I thought I would. Normally I hate listening to my own voice. Gross. I can't wait to see more of what Gus shot either.

24. I JUST BOOKED MY FLIGHT!!!! I can't beleive I am doing this, and my parents will think I am nuts (I am 33 but single so I am still their baby...sigh) but I need an adventure in my life and am slightly (OKAY A LOT) obsessed with all things Twilight, so this is perfect. I would like to find some roommates to share costs and rides with (I would be happy to make room arrangements at the Forks motel, but driving in unknown seattle scares the bejeezus out of me, so am hoping to hookup with another for a ride from the airport to FOOOORRRKKKKSSSS! I land in Seattle at 10:30am Thursday:) Let me know, I am on the forum as DD.... CAN"T WAIT TO MEET YOU CRAZY BITCHES!!!

25. FFFFOOOOOORRRRKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!

I watched the video two days ago with tears streaming down my face. So awesome.

Notice I am NEVER not holding my drink....slightly frightening but typical.

Love it, love all of yous.

26. Wow, that vid was fuckawesome! It made me feel as if I was there.

27. Fuckadiddledy-do - I've only just got round to watching the footage that Gusflix made of the speeches. Tearing up here - I SO wanna get to Forks2011!

Will my accent fit in? ;-)

CC x

28. SO EXCITED for Twitarded Goes to Fooooorks, Part Duex!!! I have a feeling that we are gonna have so much inappropriate, hoorish fun that we are gonna make last year's trip look like child's play!
I'm making my list now--
Mini-Jake? Check.
Full Size Jake? Check.
Shit-tons of alcohol? Check.
All my hoors from twitardia land? Check.
See ya there bitches!
xoxo

P.S.
I'll be writing "Sparkle Peen" and "Balls" on our car again. That's how you'll now I've arrived. Although, this year I plan to add some type of Jake Peen reference...need help coming up with the perfect phrase... help me ladies!)

Oh and if we aren't friends on FB yet, add my twitard page:

29. I JUST BOOKED MY FLIGHT!!!! I can't beleive I am doing this, and my parents will think I am nuts (I am 33 but single so I am still their baby...sigh) but I need an adventure in my life and am slightly (OKAY A LOT) obsessed with all things Twilight, so this is perfect. I would like to find some roommates to share costs and rides with (I would be happy to make room arrangements at the Forks motel, but driving in unknown seattle scares the bejeezus out of me, so am hoping to hookup with another for a ride from the airport to FOOOORRRKKKKSSSS! I land in Seattle at 10:30am Thursday:) Let me know, I am on the forum as DD.... CAN"T WAIT TO MEET YOU CRAZY BITCHES!!!

30. @STY Hope your feeling better.

OMG! I was getting all teary-eyed and then the cursing started and I cracked up! So many memories! They need to tear down that wall so all the other people can be filmed next time!

We need to have a great big circle so that everyone can go around and introduce themselves. Hi I am Rottymama and I am TWITARDED!
FOOORRKKSS2011!

Gusflix is going to get alot of hits on YT!

Oh & instead of Idaho Spud candy, I gonna get Idaho potato pins!

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