Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rob's Balls: Two Thumbs Up...Way Up!

Back in early November I went to Vancouver, B.C. for a birthday/girls' weekend. Top on my list of 'Things To Do' (Rob wasn't there so I had to settle for the more attainable) was to eat at Glowbal and try the infamous Kobe beef balls with spaghetti. Apparently the 'Twilight' cast ate at Glowbal often when filming in Vancouver. On several occasions, when Rob was doing interviews, he would go on and on and on about Glowbal's Kobe beef balls. He wouldn't fucking shut up about how good these beef balls are. I think he mentioned them, while his eyes glazed over, in at least three separate interviews. Needless to say, nothing gets by this corner of the fandom, and these Kobe beef balls were soon referred to as "Rob's Balls."

When I Google 'Rob's Balls' with 'Glowbal' this is what came up. I hope that Hostess has decided to re-think the implications of this product.

Prior to this getaway weekend I had been corresponding with Lorabell and CupcakeGirl76 about my trip to their fair city and my quest to ingest Rob's Balls. CupcakeGirl76 had already been to Glowbal and had a taste of said balls and assured me they were well worth the hype...she made us reservations. All this hype and I kept trying to picture not only what these balls were going to taste like, but what they were going to look like. Hmmmmmmmm...

For some reason a similar image to this kept coming to mind yet I kept reminding myself I can't buy this and, sadly, it is taken...and, oh wait, so am I...whoops!

Prior to my trip, LatchkeyWife had dared me to "Say It! Out Loud!" when ordering my Rob's Balls. I can't even remember what she promised me (she still owes me dammit!) but it didn't take much for me to take the bait. [Note from LKW: I'm pretty sure I promised you either a lap dance or make out session.] I was, admittedly, excited just to go to the restaurant and see CupcakeGirl76 and Lorabell as well as just BE in the restaurant the The Precious seemingly loves so much. I am not normally like this about celebrities, but we all know "normal" doesn't apply here. Thanks to CupcakeGirl76, I was shown exactly where on the menu Rob's Balls were:

I had my 5 year old do this... not really, but it looks like I did... shut up!... I am a technotard.

I told Lorabell and CupcakeGirl76 about LatchkeyWife's dare and they were 100% supportive. They offered to film me so I could prove to LatchkeyWife that I actually made good on the dare. I made sure my non-Twitard friends present had enough liquor in their system that they wouldn't care that I was about to make a complete fool of myself. I, also, downed some liquid courage. So, without further adieu...here is me...making a complete fool out of myself:



Thank you to SnarkierThanYou's friend for adding the mysterious floating eye bars. I wouldn't want the world to know it was me...especially Rob. I also promised the waitress I wouldn't expose her identity...I think I made good that promise...kind of, sort of.

I must say Rob's Balls most definitely lived up to the hype....they were magical. They were full of salty, meaty goodness and, yes, they literally melted in your mouth. I, like Rob, would eat them over and over again...nom, nom, nom.

I wish I could make this into a Scratch n' Sniff photo.

Soooooo, LatchkeyWife, you OWE me girlfriend. I will take my payout in unmarked bills please. Thank you to my non-Twitard besties that put up with all my shenanigans and thank you to CupcakeGirl76 and Lorabell for celebrating my birthday with me.

P.S. Rob-If ever you saw this post, please know that I totally respect you and your meat choice. Love, VitaminR70

28 comments:

  1. Just for the record - I believe LKW offered a lap dance. I can't wait for Foooorks.

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  2. Mmmm Rob balls. I don't usually eat meat but well when it comes to Rob I think we all do things we wouldn't normally do :)

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  3. @TheonlyMrs(Kassie)Cullen - yup you got that right! that's why LKW would even offer the "exit only!!!" door...

    : )

    @VitaminR70 - YOU, my dear, have big,lovely balls! I am so glad you got a taste of rob's balls!! lol... plus, now my friend who did the eye-bars on the vid will stop sending me emails with the subject line "ROB'S BALLS" to my work email address, which is really just icing on the cake.

    mwah!

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  4. VitR, Rob's Balls look delicious and I'm so glad you finally got your hands (and mouth) on them ;)

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  5. @VitaminR I may be a little jealous that you got to taste Rob's balls...just a little :) p.s. When did the twitarded four become five? Are you gonna do posts regular like or is this a like a one night stand? Just given us a taste of your awesomeness and then leave us wanting for more...I see how you are, fucking tease.

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  6. I am so glad to finally know the whole story about this. I remember parts on twitter and such so finally the whole story and what a story it is. LOL!!!

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  7. Those "Rob Balls" do look delicious. Glad you were to get some.

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  8. FULL of (salty Rob balled) WIN!

    That is all.

    Lorabell xxx

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  9. Man that picture of Rob's balls really got me hungry for a taste... and a nibble... and lick..and..I could go on and on. but you get my point..I would love ME some Rob Balls..

    ps. Love your post
    see you in Forks Captain

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  10. I'm super hungry for balls right now. And sauce. Thanks! Oh wait, I have balls in my freezer! (why does that feel like something LKW would say?)

    I'm so proud of you and can't wait till FOOOOORKS to see LKW pay up! Muahahahahha.

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  11. Nice post VitR!

    I'm going to Vancouver BC when I come over in August... Rob's balls are ON THE LIST!

    Woop!

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  12. I have got to stop reading this blog first thing in the morning. At 5 a.m., even Rob's balls look a little unappetizing.

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  13. mmmmm, I always knew Rob's balls would be delicious!!!!!!!!!

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  14. Something happened to me when I watched that vid.

    Something deep inside my heart.

    A twinge.

    A tug.

    A tiny pain in my middle.

    Because, I think....I am jealous and resentful that you experienced Rob's balls without me. I mean...we ate open-faced fucking crab cakes together, did we not?!?

    And that video, it made me miss you.

    And Rob's Balls.

    So much.

    XOXOXOXO

    FFFFFFFFOOOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!

    MC

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  15. I've been to GlowBal and have partaken of the nummy "Rob Balls" but didn't combine them with the Spaghetti... Hmmm Intersting.

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  16. I had heard that Rob's balls were nowhere to be found. KStew has them...

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  17. I am so going to Vancouver to set/restaurant stalk! (Yes it's creepy but I just can't seem to make myself care.) Who's coming with me??!! Better get your passports or enhanced driver's liscense! Let's go try Rob's Ball's!! HAHAHAHA!

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  18. Did I post this? Really? I hope I still have a job on Monday. If anyone recognizes me and kisses and tells, I will send LatchkeyWife after you. Her freezer needs some filling.

    @Mama_Cougar - I know bb...I feel it too. We will always have our crab cakes. :P

    @norcaltwitard I am so fucking busy with work and two little VitRs and the big VitR child (aka Mr. VitR) I don't know how regualar I can be...but I am most grateful that my Twitarded sisters allow me the occasional outlet to share TWIsted shenanigans and thoughts.

    @SnarkierThanYou I LOVE the job your friend did on this....I hope he gets a chance to read the post. I am sure he already thinks I am insane.

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  19. As Rob said in the Twilight commentary with CH & KS, "That's a little bit saucy!"

    I see a new game show, "Twitarded or Dare" Good job VR! You are Twitarded!

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  20. LMFAO!! Oh, girlie, I so remember you doing this and seeing that picture of your tongue covered in Rob's sauce ;)

    Love that you got to spend time with Cupcakegirl76.

    Love that you got the ballz to order Rob's balls and then eat them.

    Love that you posted.

    Love you!

    Lisa

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  21. VR70 - love it! I was so happy to watch your partake of the Rob's balls and would love to do that again. Thanks for sharing your special bday with us. Glad that you had enough media to make a post too!

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  22. Those balls do look magically delicious. I'm very, very jealous. Do they ship to Texas? Nom nom.

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  23. Even if I did promise the lap dance, I think I'd rather pay with the make out session so my mouth can be on your mouth that was on Rob's balls. That's only a couple degrees of separation! Is that wrong? Love you hard bb.... that took major ballz to order balls! I need to dare you to do more shit I guess.

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  24. I do so adore that the hoordom has neither shame nor boundaries. I hope you sucked the hell out of those balls...rolled them around in your mouth and savored every damn minute!!!!

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  25. Nom nom nom Rob's Balls look absolutely delicious! I always wondered when we'd get a close up ;-)

    I may just have to make some of my own and serve them up to my family (hubs and 2 teenage sons). Do you think they'll mind? *evil grin*

    Great post there VitR!

    CC x

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  26. As Rob said in the Twilight commentary with CH & KS, "That's a little bit saucy!"

    I see a new game show, "Twitarded or Dare" Good job VR! You are Twitarded!

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  27. Did I post this? Really? I hope I still have a job on Monday. If anyone recognizes me and kisses and tells, I will send LatchkeyWife after you. Her freezer needs some filling.

    @Mama_Cougar - I know bb...I feel it too. We will always have our crab cakes. :P

    @norcaltwitard I am so fucking busy with work and two little VitRs and the big VitR child (aka Mr. VitR) I don't know how regualar I can be...but I am most grateful that my Twitarded sisters allow me the occasional outlet to share TWIsted shenanigans and thoughts.

    @SnarkierThanYou I LOVE the job your friend did on this....I hope he gets a chance to read the post. I am sure he already thinks I am insane.

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  28. I have got to stop reading this blog first thing in the morning. At 5 a.m., even Rob's balls look a little unappetizing.

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