Tuesday, March 22, 2011

"The Benefits of Flying First Class" A Twilight FanFic One Shot

Welcome to another one of my attempts at a Twilight one shot. [If you missed my first o/s, you can read it here.] I wrote this for the "Love is in the Air" contest and it didn't win diddly squat. So sad... but I hope you guys don't think it sucks.

I must give a big, leg hitchy hug to the amazing TexasKatherine for agreeing to read whatever drivel I write. And as always, I would like to extend a warm, un-Mormon-y, open-mouthed kiss to Stephenie Meyer for creating these characters that I so deeply love and adore. She owns them... I just like to put them in situations where they have no choice but to fool around.

Rated M... duh.

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I sat patiently in the Qantas Airways waiting area outside my gate at LAX, my attention glued to the Angry Birds game on my iPad. I had been murdering those green pigs for over an hour and my neck was killing me. I slid the iPad into my backpack and took a minute to inventory my fellow fliers. The seats had filled up since my arrival nearly two hours ago. I had arrived extra early for my 10:30pm flight to Australia in an attempt to try and upgrade to first class. The prospect of spending 15 hours imprisoned in coach made me dry heave a little. Thankfully, they had an open seat and I gladly drained my frequent flier miles for the upgrade. It was my very first trip to Australia since my parents retired there two years ago and they'd been on my ass about a visit for months now.

The Skype calls were always the same. "Bella," my mom would whine. "We haven't seen you in sooooo long. You will love it here. We miss you so much."

I couldn't afford the trip on my salary as a first grade teacher, but since my parents bought me a ticket for Christmas and with three months of summer vacation at my disposal, why the hell not? It's not like I had a guy keeping me home. And my condo complex was planning to do some renovations and fumigating so I'd have to find other accommodations for a few weeks anyway. I didn't waste any time. Today was the last day of school and I planned to be gone for two full months. That's if I don't kill my parents after the first week!

As I stood up to stretch and get a better view of traveling mates, I noticed another iPad lover. A mop of bronze hair was intently hunched over his tablet, one hand grabbing at clumps of hair in what appeared to be aggravation. The other hand was dragging across and tapping the screen with some aggression. I bet myself 10 bucks he was playing Angry Birds. I continued to watch him, occasionally celebrating his pig-killing conquests with a raised fist. I'm not sure if he sensed me studying him, but when he looked up, I gasped. His eyes were the color of the ocean on a stormy day and they locked onto mine before I had the chance to avert my stare. Shit.

Trying not to look like a total tool, but failing miserably, I quickly turned around, grabbed my pack and headed for the ladies room. Once inside the safety of the stall, I leaned against the door and berated myself for staring gape-mouthed at the poor guy. How the hell could I go back out there now? After I had peed, I dug through my backpack for my toothbrush... just in case I had a close encounter with my fellow pig killer. Better safe than sorry.

Exiting the restroom, I heard the boarding call for first class travelers of my flight and jumped into line. This would be my maiden voyage in first class and I was a little over-excited about getting to my big, comfy seat. The plush seats were just four to a row, two on each side of the aisle. Much more spacious than the crammed rows in coach. I settled into my seat and waited patiently for my seat mate to be revealed. I silently prayed for someone who planned on sleeping and preferably didn't have a bad body odor. I chuckled to myself as I recalled the old Seinfeld episode when Jerry and Elaine flew together and Jerry took the seat in first class while Elaine was stuck in coach hell. I hoped I got as lucky as Jerry did.

First class filled up quickly and the coach passengers started filing through past me. Could it be possible that I had my row completely to myself? As the last of the travelers lumbered past me, I started to feel confident I would be lucky enough to spend the next 15 hours in complete silence. I pulled out my latest issue of Entertainment Weekly to keep myself occupied during take-off until I could safely unearth my electronic devices.

Just as the flight attendants were making their final preparations for take off, we heard a commotion on the gangway. Heavy footsteps obviously sprinting to the plane accompanied by yelling - “Wait! Wait! I’m here, I’m here!”

The first class flight attendant took the man’s boarding pass and pointed him to the empty seat in my row. Fuck. I looked up to see my grey-eyed, tousled-haired fellow pig killer making his way to the seat next to me and I’ll admit, I felt some tingling in my crotch area. That doesn’t happen often.

He stuffed his backpack into the overhead compartment and flopped into his seat with a big sigh, iPad and headphones in hand, which he immediately tucked into the seat next to him while he secured his seatbelt. Ok, maybe he’s going to be a quiet, non-invasive seat mate after all. Bummer.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Or his jaw rather. It was strong and angular and covered in a light layer of stubble that called for me to lick it. I’m fairly certain that would be inappropriate since I didn’t even know his name. Well, that and I’m not the type of girl to lick men. I liked to call myself a born-again virgin. Not by choice, by any means. The utter lack of acceptable men in my life has forced me into celibacy. Or maybe it’s actually my iPad addiction that’s the cause of the celibacy. Men don’t like to compete with any type of electronic device.

As if again, feeling my stare, I was met by his steely gaze. “Oh hey, sorry, I’m Edward. And I’m not always the last one on the plane,” he said with a half, somewhat ashamed smile.

“H-h-h-hi. I’m Bella,” I stuttered. Slick Bella, real slick.

“Hi, Bella,” he said.

“Um, didn’t I see you in the waiting area earlier?” I inquired. Huh? I guess first class gives me some nerve. Odd.

“Yes, I was there but I was so intent on my game of Angry Birds, I didn’t hear the boarding call. Next thing I knew, I looked up to stretch my neck and all the seats were empty. I nearly shit my pants.” He chuckled and shook his head, recounting his near miss.

“That game kills me. I get so frustrated trying to kill those damn pigs,” I said, turning back to my magazine.

Edward chuckled again beside me. I noticed he had tilted his head back and his eyes were closed. Oh well, so much for 15 hours of stimulating conversation. I tucked my magazine into the seat pocket and gazed out the window as the plane taxied for take off.

I was happy to hear the captain finally come over the PA system and give us the go ahead to turn on our electronics. A collective sound of bag rummaging echoed through the plane. Edward snapped awake at the announcement and immediately turned his iPad back on.

“I see you’re an addict too,” I said, pointing to his iPad and holding mine up at the same time.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s actually the cause of my most recent break up. My girlfriend said I loved it more than I did her. And sadly, that was kind of the case.”

“That’s funny,” I giggled. “I’m pretty sure mine is the reason I don’t have a boyfriend. I have no interest in dating anyone that can’t get behind my addiction.”

Edward laughed. “Looks like we might just be perfect for each other.”

And now I’m going to have to spend the next 15 hours planning our perfect life together. I turned on my iPad and pulled up a book to read. Ok, maybe not actually to read, but if I just stare at the page for a long time it will give me the appearance of reading. Or of just being stupid because it’s taking me so long to read one page.

My method of ignoring Edward must have been getting to him.

“So Bella,” Edward began lightly touching my arm, “are you heading to Australia on vacation all alone?”

“No, I’m actually going to visit my family for a couple months while I’m off from work. My parents retired there a couple years ago,” I said.

“That sounds like fun. I guess. If you like your parents and all.”

“Oh it will definitely be a challenge. I’m wondering how long it will take for my mother to start the boyfriend inquisition.”

“Does that happen often?” he asked.

“Only every time I talk to her on Skype. I’m afraid since I’ll be there in person, she’ll try to water-board the information out of me,” I sighed. “What about you? Vacationing by yourself?”

Edward smiled. I’m hoping it was because he thought I was funny and not because he felt bad for me.

“Oh, well, I’m, ahhh, well...” he stuttered over his answer to my question. “It’s a little embarrassing... I was actually supposed to be going to Australia with my girlfriend, but after the whole ‘you love your iPad more than me’ fight, we broke up and I decided to go alone.”

“So that’s why there was an empty seat in first class,” I said. “I’m sitting in your ex-girlfriend’s seat.”

“Yup.” He paused for a moment and asked, “Where do your parents live?”

“Oh, they live right in Sydney. They don’t have much of an imagination. My dad just knew they wanted to give it a try. I’m not sure if I’m completely ridiculous for leaving southern California in the summer to spend the winter in Australia.”

“Believe me, I thought it was weird my ex suggested a trip in June. I honestly don’t think she knew it was winter there. No big deal. I like winter. I’m not good with the heat.” Edward shrugged his shoulders and turned to face me in his seat. “Are you a teacher?”

“Uh, yes, I am,” I said, confused. “How did you know?”

“Well, I figured there weren’t a lot of jobs that had a couple months off in the summer. And I’m a teacher too,” he said.

“Really? What grade?” I asked excitedly.

“First.”

“No way!”

“Way.”

“Me too. This is so weird.” I shook my head as I looked up at him. He was smiling at me again and it was making me very tingly inside.

“It is weird,” he said. “Want to know something else weird?”

“Sure.”

“I was supposed to just go for two weeks because that’s the only time my ex could get off from work. But with her not going, I decided to stay for two months. In Sydney.”

I stared at him in shock, trying desperately not to smile from ear to ear, “Um, wow, that is weird.”

I looked at my watch and as much as I wanted to get to know Edward, I needed to try and get some sleep. I figured since my first class seat lays flat, it shouldn’t be a problem.

“Edward,” I said, “it’s kinda late and I really want to get a couple hours of sleep. So...”

“Oh, right,” he said, “I’m sorry. I really should too. I lost track of time.”

We both silently collected our pillows and blankets, flattened out our seats and shut off the overhead lights. I noticed Edward even pulled back the armrest separating us. It was almost like we were sleeping together. In one cozy little first class bed. Oh God, how will I ever get to sleep thinking about him right beside me.

I guess I must have been tired because when I woke up a few hours later, it was still the middle of the night and other travelers around us were softly snoring. I really had to pee. Trying to climb over Edward without waking him proved to be a challenge. I decided it would be easiest to stand on the seat and try to step over him. Just as I thought I was in the clear, he shifted in his sleep and I fell right on top of him, waking him with a start.

“Oh my god, Edward. I’m so sorry!” I whispered, trying desperately not to wake anyone else up.

I found myself straddling his lap as he just stared up at me with his sleepy gray-green eyes. He rubbed them for a minute before putting his hands on my hips. I tried not to notice that I sitting on something a bit hard as I clambered up and off him into the aisle. I rushed to the bathroom, bursting into fits of giggles at my clumsiness once I was in the privacy of the stall. Brilliant. Edward must think I’m a real douche.

A few minutes later, I was back at my seat. Edward was still awake and he got up from his seat/bed making it easier for me to get back into mine. I wiggled back under my covers and turned on my side facing away from him. I could tell he was moving around behind me, probably trying to get comfortable when I felt his hand on my side, just below my ribcage. I feigned sleep.

When I didn’t respond to his touch, I felt him move closer to me in an almost spooning position. Fuck me. My heart started beating twice its normal rhythm.

I turned over, almost half on my back and his hand slid over my stomach. As I looked back, he had himself propped up on an elbow, smirking at my expression as I looked down at his hand on me.

“Oh, sorry,” he whispered, pulling his hand away.

“No, it was ok,” I said, trying to will him to put it back where it was.

“‘Ok,’ as in you want me to put it back?” he asked quietly.

I nodded sheepishly. “Yes.”

The heat radiating from his hand quickly spread to all parts of my body. My mouth went dry and my mind went blank. I tried to hide my feelings, but I was sure the rush of color to my face told the entire story - even in the semi-darkness. I slowly licked my dry lips, thinking that rummaging around in my backpack for Chapstick would most definitely kill the mood. I saw him close his eyes and swallow hard at my action.

I was all the sudden sweltering under my blanket but didn’t want to discard it as I was enjoying the mystery of being under cover with Edward next to me. I noticed beads of moisture on his upper lip - I’ve never wanted to lick someone’s sweat before this moment. Sometime while I was sleeping he had taken off his plaid shirt leaving just a very snug white v-neck t-shirt.

I rolled completely onto my back still locked in a gaze with Edward as he remained perched on his elbow, his face resting on his hand. His other hand still resting on my stomach, barely touching the skin that had revealed itself below the hem of my shirt. Just a little lower Edward, a little lower... Holy shit! Was I turning into a total slut or what? His touch was having some sort of crazy, but unfamiliar effect on my libido.

"Edward," I whispered, leaning my head closer to his, "I’m normally nothing like this. I think you're casting some kind of spell over me. Are you a vampire or something?"

Edward laughed a little louder than he probably should have. "No Bella, I'm not a vampire. But if you're into that sort of thing, I'd be happy to bite your neck."

"Um Edward...this is a little embarrassing to admit but when I said I'm usually not like this, I wasn't kidding. I've had very little experience with boys, er, men, the last being just out of high school. So honestly, I'm not really sure what I'm into." I covered my face with both hands, covering my quickly reddening skin. I can't believe I just confessed my complete lack of sexual know-how to the most gorgeous guy I've ever met.

I felt Edward's hand leave its post on my bare stomach, immediately feeling like an idiot. He didn't want some inexperienced born-again virgin. His ex-girlfriend was probably versed in all sorts of kinky sex acts that I've never heard of.

As I continued to silently berate myself, I felt him tugging at my fingers, trying to unearth my flaming red face. I wasn’t sure I could look him in the eye after my admission of inexperience. But when I got finally got the nerve, I looked up to find him staring at me with a half-cocked grin on his face and his stormy eyes twinkling. I knew right then, I was in trouble. There were feelings in my gut that I never felt before and with a good 8 or 9 more hours of flying to be done, this could get interesting.

Being in first class was a lot like being on your own deserted island. The other passengers kept to themselves and the flight attendants only came if called. It was the perfect opportunity for Edward and I to really get to know each other. And I hope I wasn’t reading the signs wrong... I was pretty sure he wanted to get to know me.

I waged an internal battle in my head, not sure of my next move. Do I wait for him to make the move? Is it my turn now? Fuck! Why couldn’t I have been a slut in high school? I would’ve known exactly what to do in this situation. Just as I was about to start bashing my forehead against the window, Edward spoke. His voice instantly causing my mind to empty.

“Bella,” he whispered huskily, “we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. Let’s just take it slow and see where this takes us. We will be close to each other for the next two months. No worries.”

“Thank you,” I squeaked. “I appreciate that.”

“I really want to get to know you better,” he said.

“Me too. But I’m afraid I’m not that interesting so I hope you don’t get too bored,” I said.

“Well if you’re afraid of boring me, we could just enjoy each other’s company silently.”

What does that mean? What does that mean? Is that code for something I’d understand if I weren’t such an amateur?

“Come here. Scoot closer to me,” he said as he lifted his arm out of the way for me.

I sighed and snuggled closer to his chest, inhaling his sweet smell as he put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me tight. I was falling for this guy and I barely knew him. What I did know is that the tingling in my pants was not subsiding.

We were both silent as we cuddled under Edward’s thin blanket. I wondered what he was thinking, but more importantly, couldn’t believe what I was thinking. Dirty thoughts normally did not reside in my mind so when the phrase “mile high club” popped into my head, I fought to evict it. Plus, I was definitely not skilled enough at the sex to do it in an airplane bathroom. I was barely qualified to do it in a bed for chrissakes. No, I will not become some flying cliche.

Edward began drawing small circles on my shoulder while I felt his free hand come to rest back on my stomach again, gently stroking the narrow shred of exposed skin. I conjured up some nerve and rested my hand on his thigh. The temperature under that blanket was rising rapidly.

Ohgodohgodohgod please kiss me, please kiss me. I scrunched my eyes shut tightly and silently tried to will him to fulfill my prayer.

His hand vacated its position on my stomach and he brought it up to my hair, carefully tucking the loose strands behind my ear. He cupped the side of my face and leaned forward towards my ear.

“I just want to try one thing,” he whispered. “Just stay very still.”

I looked up at him. His eyes darkened as they locked onto mine. We held this position for what seemed like an eternity.

“Don’t move,” he said as he tilted my head back slightly and softly kissed my lips. His kiss stopped my heart and my eyes rolled back in my head. He pulled away and I stayed frozen in position. Without opening my eyes, I reached for his face, pulled it back to mine and returned his kiss, deepening it this time. Oh God, I hope he didn’t view me as desperate. I couldn’t believe how long I had gone without experiencing these feelings.

He repositioned his body so that he sat sideways in his seat, facing me. He reached up to hold my face in his hands and crushed his lips onto mine, pushing me back toward the window until he was nearly laying on top of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer, never wanting the kiss to end but knowing we would both need to breathe at some point.

He broke away from our kiss after several minutes, sat up and took a deep breath, running his fingers through his perpetually messy hair. “I’m stronger than I thought,” he said.

“I wish I could say the same,” I replied, pulling myself back into a sitting position under the blanket. Something inside me changed and I felt bolder than ever before. I grabbed the back of his head and met his lips forcefully with my own. Edward grabbed my leg and hitched it over his lap, running his hand along my smooth skin while plundering my mouth with his tongue.

I heard the faint sound of an “ahem” through the throbbing of my heartbeat in my head and slowed our kiss. I opened my eyes to see the flight attendant standing at our row, arms crossed, an annoyed look on her face.

“Look, you two,” she began, “the other passengers are starting to wake up and I really don’t need you making everyone uncomfortable with your public displays of affection. I would appreciate if you would keep the kissing to a minimum.”

We both looked at her remorsefully. “Sorry... we will,” Edward said. She stomped off down the aisle and we had to stifle our giggles.

Edward resumed stroking my thigh and I put my hand back on his leg, gradually moving it up until I felt something rather hard and large. He stifled a groan and tipped his head back against the seat. I took that as a sign I should continue. I slowly traced the outline of his erection, my hand shaking with nervousness. I internally questioned my technique but Edward’s rapid breathing and steady hip movements told me differently.

His hand, still rubbing my thigh had inched higher, making its way to the hem of my shorts. Long fingers worked their way up the leg hole of first my shorts, then my panties, brushing against me causing a sharp intake of breath and a very slow exhale. I almost forgot about my fondling but continued to stroke Edward’s clothed member while he caressed my clit, making me almost immediately wet.

I fumbled one-handed with the button on his cargo shorts, and finally managed to unfasten it and lower the zipper. All reasonable thought left my brain when I realized he was not wearing underwear and I was instantly greeted by a very hard, very large cock. This was not a penis or a pecker or a wiener... something of this size could only be described as a cock. I took him in my hand while his expert fingers continued to gently massage my crotch area.

The temperature under our blanket was reaching heat wave status. I felt beads of sweat trailing down my back, partially from the covers, partially from my nervousness. Edward’s head stayed back against the headrest, eyes closed. I could only assume he was pretending to sleep to throw the flight attendant off our trail.

I repositioned my hand and began to slowly stroke his cock, praying to God I was doing it right. Edward’s increased tempo gave me confidence to continue, speeding up my own pace. When I felt his fingers slide effortlessly into my pussy, a low groan escaped my lips. He took this as encouragement adding a second finger, pushing me closer to a release I had rarely experienced.

I alternated between agonizingly slow and jack hammer fast movements, occasionally rubbing the palm of my hand over the soft head of his cock. When his breath began to shudder, I knew he was close. I noticed his free hand tightly gripping the armrest and his legs began to shake. I’m not sure what was more exciting to me; watching Edward’s impending orgasm, or the heat that was currently spreading through my lap.

He never missed a beat with his fingers. And just as he was approaching his own climax, he curled his fingers inside me and hit that spot that not only made me nearly cry out in pleasure, but made my pussy clench around him so tight I feared he might be injured. We both sat there, holding our breath as we rode out our orgasms together, so as not to draw attention to our row.

Edward opened his eyes for the first time since our groping started, looked over at me, eyebrows raised, and mouthed, “Wow.”

I just nodded, incapable of forming words.

The only sounds coming from our two seats were quick shallow breaths as we respectively removed our hands from each other. Edward proceeded to use the blanket to mop up his mess and tossed it on the floor at our feet. Seeing as we were both thoroughly drenched with sweat, we were safe to discard the blanket that had served us well.

“Edward,” I said, “can I squeeze by? I really need to hit the restroom to freshen up a bit before I face my parents.”

I grabbed a fresh t-shirt and underwear out of my backpack and headed to the small stall. I looked in the mirror and my damp, flushed face told the complete story of my current actions. I splashed cold water on my face and neck, smoothed down my hair and changed my clothes before taking a minute to get my heart back to a normal rhythm. The excitement of our touching combined with the fear of getting caught had my blood pressure skyrocketing.

I checked my watch before exiting the bathroom and realized we were close to landing. What a way to make a long, boring flight fly by! No pun intended!

When I returned to our row, Edward had a change of clothes in hand and made his way to the restroom I had just vacated. He was a little more worse for wear than I was, with visible signs of his release on his shorts. I quickly took out a small notebook and scribbled all my contact info - phone, email, address, parent’s address - and tucked it in his iPad case. I hoped this was just the beginning of a fabulous summer.

I smiled up at him as he sat down.

“What’s that smile for?” he asked.

“Best. Flight. Ever.” I mumbled.

“Excuse me?” he asked.

“I said this was the best flight ever.”

“I agree. I’m really glad the seat next to me was vacant. This flight would’ve been long and boring.”

“I’m glad too. The thought of spending 15 hours trapped in coach, no doubt next to someone with a less than desirable body odor, would have been torture,” I said.

He smiled as he picked up his iPad to play a few rounds of Angry Birds before we landed. When he opened the cover, the note with my contact info fell out onto his lap. He picked it up and smirked, “I didn’t even know your last name.”

“I hope you don’t mind,” I said.

“Would tonight be too soon to call you?” he asked.

“Definitely not,” I said.

24 comments:

  1. I so glad you posted this here! I can't believe you didn't win anything. Was there not a Best Use of Angry Birds category?

    You already know what I think about your story. I'm so glad you're continuing to write. Love you, bb!

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  2. OMG!!! Loved this...I honestly didn't realize this was your story till the end...just.....wow.....You should be proud..I am very proud of you..Love love love this.

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  3. Loved it! If only it could happen in RL...

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  4. LATCHY! Holy hell fire! This...THIS is hot. I think I might re-read this about 45 times, so if the traffic goes up like Edward's cock but you don't get the comments....That's why.

    Amazing premise, unique ideas, and excellent use of book quotes, my love. They fit perfectly, and I am d.y.i.n.g to know more about these characters! I want more! A successful case of fanfic blue balls. That's how you know your o/s kicks ass. It can stand alone, but damn it would be nice to have more More MOOAAARRR!!!


    Love you, babe. This was excellent.

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  5. HOT! Seriously, HOT!

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  6. This was amazingly hot. I loved every single moment of it. I love how you incorporated Robs looks when it came to Edward. It left me wanting more, I want to know if he's gonna teach her a thing or two. If only I had a chance to do that in real life with Rob.

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  7. Great first chapter! So the next can start with Bella's folks asking her why a strange guy is phoning her the first night she's landed... Please? And some surf boards... I am sure you could find a use for surf boards even in winter. Pretty please?

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  8. Smokin hot! How could this NOT win an award?

    I liked that you made them both addicts of the same game and 1st grade teachers. Should be enough common ground to begin a relationship there. That and the fact that they can bring each other the big O in a matter of minutes. Win.

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  9. "This was not a penis or a pecker or a wiener..." LMFAO, best line ever! Bravo, Bravo! Have you considered extending this one? Pretty please, with the Precious on top. Or bottom, however you prefer!

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  10. I think you did a fantastic job with this one and should def expand it, even into just a few chapters story!

    UGH - can you imagine?!?! I've never had that kind of luck on any flight I've been on!!

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  11. Awesome story...I want more!

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  12. Thanks guys for your awesome comments! I'm sorry to say that I won't be continuing this story... I'm afraid you would hate me if I did. My attention span is not disciplined enough to carry on a multiple chapter story.

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  13. I LOVE THIS! L.O.V.E. IT! Thanks LKW!

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  14. Loved it! Too bad your not going to continue it.

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  15. I always knew you were an epic h00rbag, LKW, but now I know you're a epic h00rbag PLUS talented. Nicely done...now wtf didn't you win anything again?

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  16. Love it! I will never look at 1st Class the same or blankets on the cabin floor.:P Now tell us what happens in Sydney. I sense Mile High memberships on the return flight. More please. Xoxoxo

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  17. Well that was just awesome! I now want to fly to Australia ;)

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  18. I'm flying first class from now on. Just in case.

    Excellent one shot, h00r!!

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  19. I have been trying to find the time to read this since you posted it! I loved it! Short, sweet and lots if cute Edward!! Thanks for sharing!

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  20. LKW, you MUSTMUSTMUST continue this story, even just a few chappies!!! Otherwise, you are gonna have a whole posse of horny-ass bitches on your doorstep! I NEED MORE! Great story, with great potential!

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  21. Ok I didn't get to read this at all yet but I have a funny to share about it... as I had the post open and was debating to read it at work. my co-worker outside my office says "It was so big, it was huge!!" I have no idea what he was talking about but I couldn't help but laugh as I know that line could be in this story ;) LOL!!!

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