Honestly? I'm just not quite sure what to say about it. When the pictures first came out there was a flurry of "what the fuck" and names bandied about like "Crocodile Amishward" and whatnot. Within seconds of resting my eyes on the pictures there were a million little snarky remarks. And a few "Jeeeezus, he's still hot for a crocodile hunter" as well.
Then I began to read on Twitter that the actual article was a little...sad panda. Or, more specifically, sad Pattinson. Being easily swayed by mass opinion from time to time, I decided I didn't want to read the article because then I would feel bad for making fun of the pictures.
Apparently I do have a soul. Bummer.
Eventually, I did read the article. And I did feel bad for Robert Pattinson. Marginally. I mean, it must blow monkey nuts to be constantly hounded day in and day out by a bunch of overzealous fans. I mean, if I saw multiple Latchkey Wifes and Texas Katherines barreling toward me and screaming about wanting to touch my face or clothes I'd probably freak the fuck out. Or at least try to play dead.
Jeeeeeezus. I had some funny quip to put under this pictures but then I looked too hard at it and forgot.A slightly less sympathetic part of me wants to tell him to buck up, ride the obnoxious roller coaster for awhile and then skate free and clear for the rest of his life (if that's what he wants) because holy-fucking-shit is he making a lot of money. I'll trade ya, RPattz: you can have my thankless, soul-sucking finance job and I'll spend a day or two running from overzealous teens and their cougar-y mothers (who I'm probably friends with at this point so I guess I wouldn't really be running because we'd all just get together and go to a bar and talk about you... oh, never mind...).
I get that in theory you shouldn't have to decide between doing something you love and being an irresistible black hole of x-chromosome hormonal impulses the likes of which haven't been seen since a much-earlier British Invasion, but it is what it is. Try to channel a little Ringo Starr or something and you'll be just fine.
So here's my little pep-talk, Mr. Pattinson: you seem like an uber-smart dude, you're obscenely, panty-dripping hot, you have enough money to live very comfortably for a number of years and you're talented. Just ride this thing through with your chin up.
Because, like all things, this too shall pass.
But before it does, I need to look at this photo a few more times...
(via Robert Pattinson Life)