Friday, March 4, 2011

Water For Elephants... And I've Had Too Much Coffee Today.

This post is going to be a little random, mainly because 1) I'm trying to write 2) shovel a cold, leftover hamburger into my face and, 3) give my liver a little preparation for the beating I plan on giving it when I go out tonight. All at the same exact time.

Also, I've had like five cups of coffee. And candy. Fuck yeah, I love candy.


Anyway, despite the almost inhuman amount of caffeine I consumed today, I still managed to fall asleep on the train on the way home. I swear I sleep better on that train than I do in my own bed, which is good thing because I'd probably be in jail for manslaughter if I didn't. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Just go with it.

Perhaps because of all the caffeine coursing through my veins, I actually had a very vivid dream, which is unusual. In this dream, Snarkier Than You and I were standing on line waiting to get our pictures taken with Peter Facinelli. We were chatting and I dropped the f-bomb, which for some reason mortally offended the woman standing behind us. I was amused by her ire and suggested she go "suck a fuck" (thanks, Donnie Darko) which apparently really pissed her off. STY just sort of stood there with an incredulous and slightly appalled expression on her face as the interaction escalated into thinly veiled threats of violence (coming from me, though I suspect I don't need to point that out). Eventually, I was being led away (somewhat forcefully, I might add) by the mall rent-a-cops and yelling at the woman that I was going to shit on her car when STY looked at me and said, very calmly, "I'll meet you outside when I'm done here. Don't shit on my car."

Even dream-me is an obnoxious fucking asshole. And I'm pretty sure dream-STY's reaction is exactly how real-STY would react in that situation. [STY's note: Totally spot on.]

Moving right along...

Unf. Not soon enough.

I know we've talked about Water for Elephants here and there and I have to admit that my general impression of the movie is that it will be "good." Not "great," just "good." Of course, I get to eyefuck the shit out of Robert Pattinson the entire time so I was content with the prospect of "good".

Then I saw this:



Dudes, that trailer totally changed my attitude about this movie. Fuck "good," this movie is going to be kick-ass. Towards the end, when he yells "Marlena!!!", I like to pretend he's actually yelling "Jenny!!!!" The fact that I am drinking heavily now will probably work in my favor here.

Speaking of Water for Elephants, I do have some sad news: I will not be able to attend the NYC premiere on April 17th. We had it all planned out (well as much as we plan anything which isn't a lot): LKW was going to drive down from Maine and me, her and STY were going to hobnob with RPattz and send taunting and tortuous emails and texts to Texas Katherine, who lives too far away to attend.


Instead, I will be in Atlantic City for Choodles' bachelorette party. I plan on antagonizing her the entire night until she either cries or punches me [STY's note - having met Choodles, I am putting my money on the latter - you should leave a preemptive steak in your freezer - it's THAT much of a sure thing, imho] as punishment for scheduling her bach party the same weekend as the premiere. The only saving grace is that the last time I went to AC with Choodles, we almost died AND got arrested, but not in that order. So, at the very least, I'll probably have an awesome story to tell y'all when I get back.

21 comments:

  1. You are even more random when caffinated. I kinda like it.

    I can. not. wait. to see this movie. Um, hello tan, slightly dirty and sweaty version of Edward, who is wearing both suspenders and BOOTS. GAH.

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  2. Gawd JJ, you're frickin' hilarious! That was some vivid dream you had. And I totally agree with you. The latest trailer is a-maz-ing! Rob looks and sounds so good, I thought I was going to melt to goo the first, second, 20th time I watched it.

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  3. "Don't shit on my car." WTF???

    I think STY would really have said "Please don't shit on my car, bitch!"

    I'm just glad you are keepin' it real in your dreams and not holding back. If you tried to stifle that kind of aggression in the mall queue, you might explode! Go get 'em tiger!

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  4. Caffeinated and tipsy?? WORK IT MY FRIEND! That was officially the first time I have seen the trailer & now I want to see it LIKE NOW!! OMFG!! HE IS SO MUTHER FUCKING HOT!!! I love watching RPatz shine in his other roles. I always think he's better in other movies. LOL! But I still love Twilight. No worries.

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  5. JJ I agree, the WfE looks kick-ass! And so far what I've seen in the trailers, it looks pretty spot-on to the book, which we all know usually doesn't happen...
    I'm in LOVE with Sara Gruen's book, so I have been very scared about how this movie is going to compare, but the trailers have definitely pit me at ease.
    I can not wait for this to come out, I'll be finishing up a huge merger/conversion at work and will need the escape by April 22!!!

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  6. This second trailer flows so much better....I was super excited and now I am fucking super duper excited! I so hope it is amazing. Gawd he looks amazing. Is it odd that seeing him (probably his stunt double but whatever) jumping a moving train just does things to me? He has truly earned his hobo nickname now.

    JJ--there you go again with the poo talk....and you wonder why your followers now think of you while they are dumping a load. Case and point.

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  7. This movie is going to be the tits!

    Ok I can't stop saying that tonight and I giggle internally everytime I say it. The word "tits" makes me want to throw up unless it's used in that context.

    Choodles also makes me giggle. I really need to know how you came up with that nickname.

    Luv the dream! Totally what you both would be like in that situation. I hope you fall back asleep because I really want to know if you did in fact, shit on that car.

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  8. First off, fuck you, JJ.

    Secondly, ZOMG THAT TRAILER LOOKS AMAZING! I AM SOFA KING EXCITED!

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  9. Fuck you blogger... thanks for eating my comment you fucking twat.

    Anyhoo! I can't wait to see this fucking movie! It's going to be so fabulous!

    And JJ... please refrain from defecating on vehicles today.

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  10. Yep...I agree with all you twats! Trailer is f'in hot, I'm super f'in excited to see this movie, and JJ should totally be on a coffee/alcohol/candy high when she meets PFach today just for the pooping possibilities! I'd throw down for bail money just to hear about it...and maybe a few extra bucks for STY's therapy over the guilt of letting Paul Blart take JJ away!
    Have fun today and make us Twitards proud when you drool over the gorgeous Daddy C!
    <3 ya! Jen

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  11. WE DID IT!! We met Peter Facinelli and I didn't poop on any cars.

    Also, I know that none of you people clicked the second WFE link. Bad girls, lol.

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  12. Welllll, JJ, I'd like to know what you think when you see the intl trailer. For me.... total meltdown. Holy crapola. Voice, expressions, the whole Robowski package.

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  13. Just because I love you JJ - I clicked the second link ;) LOL!!!!

    You were in my dream last night!! I dreamt that you found my house and came to visit me to convince me to see Peter... but we ended up going to a airline hanger and meeting STY and tons of other Twitards (TwiloveSue and 17ForeverLisa were notable) to meet Peter. There was a band and food and I ended up being the person to find Peter and lead him in to meet everyone. It was very cool. Thanks for finding my house and me :)

    I am do glad you and STY went to day and met Peter. Can't wait to see the pictures.

    Also I am glad you didn't get arrested by the mall cop. LOL!!

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  14. Hmmmm I haven't been getting the email follow up offer lately at all different blogs. I must be doing something wrong. Hmmm

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  15. Waiting for the second by second report on the meeting of Daddy Cullen.... with pics... but no pooping, mkay?

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  16. Every time I see a trailer for WFE I get goosebumps all over my body. Did anyone watch the 7 plus minute fanmade clip? Lots and lots and lots for His Holy Hotness. Way back when we first found out that Rob was going to be in this, I went to the WFE fan site and they had the script which I read and I knew then that this was going to be the best thing we've seen Rob in by far (I love Twilight and am looking forward to BD 1 & 2) but this is going to be something else entirely, entirely great. I haven't read the book (I have my reasons but don't want to say anything cuz of spoilers) I may read it after I see the movie. I can't wait until WFE comes out on DVD, I'm thinking I may have to buy 2 copies cuz of the rewinding and pausing and replaying I know I'll be doing. Now, comes what I think will be a test for me - I have a feeling that between now and 4/22 they're going to release a bunch more trailers and I don't want to see anymore of this movie than I already have so...how strong am I???? I've been a total marshmallow in the past with all things Rob, so I hope I'm strong for WFE.

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  17. Damn you are going to be in Atlantic City the weekend after I will be there :-( But I am hauling my ass across the country for a Rocky Horror Convention not a bachelorette party

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  18. Well I think you did well, considering you want us to believe you're not functioning normally. Lol. Love the dream - cracked me right up.

    Oh I totally agree about WFE. The first trailer I just shrugged and thought "yeah, nice. Oooh Robbie close up and sexspenders - verrrrrry nice. And to end: was there a story? Oh ... doesn't matter anyway." Now seeing that 2nd trailer a couple of days a go my jaw nearly dislocated itself. It looks brill! And GOD, cannot wait - and desperately neeeed to - "eyefuck", as you excellently and accurately put it, the Precious. Unffffffff indeed.

    PS: Love the Donnie Darko quote. Funny stuff.

    PPS: Sorry you can't make it after all. But hopefully it means you'll bump into him at some point, him spilling your coffee down your shirt and awkward-dorkadorably ending up fondling your boobs as he tries to clean you up. You never know ... xD Take care.

    TJ xoxo

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  19. Well I think you did well, considering you want us to believe you're not functioning normally. Lol. Love the dream - cracked me right up.

    Oh I totally agree about WFE. The first trailer I just shrugged and thought "yeah, nice. Oooh Robbie close up and sexspenders - verrrrrry nice. And to end: was there a story? Oh ... doesn't matter anyway." Now seeing that 2nd trailer a couple of days a go my jaw nearly dislocated itself. It looks brill! And GOD, cannot wait - and desperately neeeed to - "eyefuck", as you excellently and accurately put it, the Precious. Unffffffff indeed.

    PS: Love the Donnie Darko quote. Funny stuff.

    PPS: Sorry you can't make it after all. But hopefully it means you'll bump into him at some point, him spilling your coffee down your shirt and awkward-dorkadorably ending up fondling your boobs as he tries to clean you up. You never know ... xD Take care.

    TJ xoxo

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  20. Welllll, JJ, I'd like to know what you think when you see the intl trailer. For me.... total meltdown. Holy crapola. Voice, expressions, the whole Robowski package.

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  21. Just because I love you JJ - I clicked the second link ;) LOL!!!!

    You were in my dream last night!! I dreamt that you found my house and came to visit me to convince me to see Peter... but we ended up going to a airline hanger and meeting STY and tons of other Twitards (TwiloveSue and 17ForeverLisa were notable) to meet Peter. There was a band and food and I ended up being the person to find Peter and lead him in to meet everyone. It was very cool. Thanks for finding my house and me :)

    I am do glad you and STY went to day and met Peter. Can't wait to see the pictures.

    Also I am glad you didn't get arrested by the mall cop. LOL!!

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