Monday, March 14, 2011

When Haircuts Attack...

I have a hate/hate relationship with my hair. I want to love it but - like most things about me in general - my hair is a fucking douche. I have cow-licks that stick up all over the place but it's super stick straight; it somehow manages to be frizzy AND greasy at the same time and it's so fine that every time I attempt to grow it beyond chin length, it gets so gnarled and tangled that I end up looking like I haven't bathed in months.

Despite this, I nurture it lovingly (but resentfully). My hair is treated to the best products - shampoo, pomades, waxes, shine sprays, mousse... the whole nine yards. I probably spend more on my hair than I do on any other part of my body and that's saying a lot.

This is nothing compared to the hair products I have under my sink...

So, yeah, I'm really hyper-sensitive when it comes to my hair.

If you follow me on Twitter you'll know that I got a haircut last Wednesday. I had decided that I wanted to change up the Velma 'do and was looking forward to a new, awesome hairstyle.

Shit didn't go as planned, people. Not. Even. Close.

And because I'm a perfectly reasonable adult, I behaved like one.

By crying like a fucking three year old who was just informed that Santa was dead and it was her all fault.

Welp, I solved that mystery apparently...

The moment ML picked me up from the salon, he knew something was wrong. Maybe it was the fact that I was blubbering and snotting all over myself so much that even the frat boys walking by gave me a wide berth (aka "that-bitch-is-crazy" space).

"Your hair looks nice," ML blurted as buckled in. This in of itself set off alarm bells - ML is generally not one of those guys who KNOWS he is required to compliment my hair every time I get it cut. Frankly, he rarely even notices. ML can be such a liar sometimes.

Normally I would call him out on this but I was too upset so all I could do was wail loudly. It was the kind of crying usually reserved for funerals or lengthy periods of physical and/or mental torture. I was at Drama Queen magnitude of a total fucking meltdown. ML was scared, I could tell. He spent the short five-minute drive home trying to soothe me, but I couldn't hear him over my bawling.

The next few hours went something like this:

30 minutes later - Walked by mirror; burst into a new wave of tears.

35 minutes later - Went to the bathroom to pee; caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Began to sob all over again and shrieked that I was not going to leave the house until my fucking hair grew back. ML disappeared into the basement.


45 minutes later - Began drinking. Heavily. Emailed The Crew (STY, LKW, TK, Myg, etc.).

50 minutes later - Began to cry all over again and was vaguely surprised that if I really, really go at it, I sound like a cow being slaughtered. Cried even harder at the revelation. Got a new box of tissues. And more wine.

1 hour later - The Crew begged for a picture. Drama Queen Jerkface refused to deliver because it was THAT bad. Bucked it up for about 30 seconds and convinced myself it was going to be okay. Then I looked in the mirror again. No dice.

1 hour 15 minutes later - Managed to pull myself together enough to realize that I still looked like someone had hacked off my hair with a rusty machete. Sobbed some more.

1 hour 30 minutes later - Third or fourth glass of wine in hand, I marched upstairs to the bathroom and tried to measure how long my hair was. Cue wailing. ML finally told me to stop torturing myself by looking in the mirror. That was not a wise idea.

2 hours later - Finally relented and sent The Crew a picture, along with this email:

To: The Crew
From: Jenny Jerkface

Re: fucking asshole piece of shit fuckbag douchemonkey herpes-laden haircut

Against my better judgment I am attaching a photo. Keep in mind that I have been crying for, oh, about 2 hours now so I look like shit on top of my shitty haircut
[Remember this when you look at the picture, assholes. It ain't pretty]. He cut almost ALL my hair off people. I spent almost a year trying to grow it out and he fucking chopped it. I am so beside myself because 1) I hate my hair to begin with 2) I'm totally fucking vain and 3) I'm totally vain and now I look like a bliofhofnkldfdu [you don't want to know what I said. Trust me.] It's so short I can't even brush it to attempt to style it. I shit you not. I can only run my fingers through it and hope for the best.

I think it's safe to say that I was not jumping for joy...

Because I don't do anything half-assed and because I really am Vain, for the rest of the evening I pretty much alternated between crying and doing that weird maniacal laugh thing I do when my emotions have completely detonated and I have absolutely no control over them anymore.

Finally, overcome by exhaustion and box wine, I just passed out. I think ML was relieved.

The next morning, ML seemed a little hopeful I had put my devastation over That Fucking Awful Haircut behind me but all his hopes were dashed when he walked by the bathroom and saw me standing there in my underwear, blow-drying what was left of my hair and sobbing uncontrollably. I considered calling out of work but in the end, I just sniffled and whimpered as I got ready to start my day.

It's now been five days since I was shorn and I'm slowly, reluctantly getting used to it. Mainly because I don't have a choice. Ironically, every single person besides me actually likes my new haircut.

Either that or they are a bunch of fucking liars. Only time will tell.

73 comments:

  1. That just royally sucks. I had the same thing happen to me once. It is such a horrible feeling and the only thing that can make it better is to slay the "stylist" who did it. And unfortunately they have laws against that. At least you didn't get your hair cut before the PFach meet and greet.

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  3. Oops, looks like I was signed in under my other profile before.

    Umm, I think it looks cute! Well, has the potential to, when not paired with aforementioned two-hour-crying-I'm-so-fucked-off-right-now thing you got going on.

    My hair is a similar length and it's actually pretty great. I like to keep the messy look... Just a quick blowdry in the morning and some product, and you're good to go! No ongoing fuss.

    Oh, and the bonus of being able to run your fingers through it and it still look OK - very handy.

    My mind automatically goes to Rob when I think of running fingers through hair... mmmm.... sexhair...

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  4. JJ, change is hard but can be good . Your hair cut looks cute, it reminds me of a slightly shorter version of Erin Smith's (of the band Bratmobile) hairstyle. If you look her up she the one in the "white heat" tshirt.

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  5. I would find that haircut so freeing!! To not have to brush my hair, not set it every day, just run my hands through it and voila cute hair - sounds good to me! Luckily hair does grow, even if not as quickly as we would like. Just imagine how simple this haircut will be at SXSW. While everyone is still in the bathroom getting their hair together, you will be out listening to music and having fun :)

    Hugs to you.

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  6. @Tigerkitten36 - Holy shit I was in the middle of changing laundry and had to respond. Bratmobile??? Holy 90's flashback, riot grrrl!!! I fucking loved that band.

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  7. Erin and I go way back!!

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  8. OOOooOO I'm first.. or second..but I will say...I am a beauty school drop out..flove doing hair.. I can totes see you spiking that.. I think it looks cute..If I were you I would get some gel in there and have some fun..I agree tho, with the shock of getting something your not prepared for..can be devistating.. I once was super pixie short,shaved right up to the top and around the ears..I know short.I also HATE my hair..remember I have wigs..That's how much I hate my hair.It's thin, it falls out by the handfulls.. I'm actually amazed that I am not bald..and **whispers** I'm like 90% gray..meh..I envy those with great hair..be thankful you have it. and it brings out that sweet face more...And if you were bald, I'd still think you were totes adorable.. hair grows...so does our love...mwah.

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  9. OK I'm slow as fuck I'm like 8 and 9...fast h00rs

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  10. To make you feel a little less stabby I will tell you a story. Once upon a time I paid $150 to have my hair turned to green slime (not an exageration - the stylist actually said "what the fuck is that green foamy stuff coming out of the foil") & a frosted carroty blond color. The end.

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  11. That sucks but I think it's got a lot of potential. I really like the overall shape of it.

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  12. Totally understand your meltdown. Since stabbing is, regrettably, still against the law in all fifty states, I recommend the next best thing: going online and flaming your stylist all over the interwebs, not sparing any JJ-language.

    That said - I think it's freaking cute! I actually really like it. Plus, now you can grab at it like Rob grabs his hair. And pretend it's him. I'll leave you with that thought.

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  13. JJ, not gonna lie. After reading your tweets about it last week I totally was expecting far worse than that picture. It is in all honesty a very cute cut on you. I will make you feel better though. One of my best friends from college, old roommate and sorority sister was getting married. Her wedding was in June. The previous fall I had chopped all my hair off, 11" donated to locks of love. Obviously in 9 months it had begun to grow back, and was feeling too long for me. I was visiting another friend in my old college town, helping her move so I couldn't get in to my normal stylist. I went to a salon I'd used in college. It was at that point a few years ago when the Posh Spice angled cut was big. I should have turned and ran when the girl turned to the stylist next to her and asked what her best way of approaching the cut would be. Hello, I'd already had the cut, all she had to do was trim. Of course that didn't happen. She couldn't get it even, so she just kept cutting. When she finally finished. The hair in the front that should have been just below my chin, was mid-cheek, and the back of my head was practically shaved. She still hadn't done the highlights. Now I have DARK BROWN HAIR, and wanted some chunky blond highlights. The girl foiled my hair so much, I left the salon a BLOND with brown lowlights. Best part is, the salon made me pay full price because I didn't tell her to stop when she had me turned away from the mirror. $105 lesson learned, stuck to my stylist at my usual salon!

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  14. I'm super vain about my hair too and have been lucky not to have ever gone through the trama of a bad hair cut. I'm also a complete stranger on the Internet, and you can totally trust those, right?

    Your hair cut is terrific. It's feisty like you. And I can see Alice-like spike ability! Twihair! The only thing that is throwing me off is the color - I am used to the Thelma shade. But dark works for your skin tone.

    You will grow to like it! You will!

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  15. Put some stick 'em in it and run your hands through it and you'll have sex hair like Rob. It doesn't matter that he's a guy. Sex hair is SEX HAIR ! Everyone knows you're a girl 'cause you wear dresses. You'll just be a girl with sex hair now!

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  16. Surfers wax, the stuff in the green tub that SJP advertises for hair dye. Starts w/a G works well for controlling the hair. and maybe you can flip it out like the "Alice" wig in twilight? Not the New Moon or Eclipse wig though.

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  17. It's Garnier Fructis Style Surf Hair Texture paste.

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  18. OMFG JJ- As sympathetic as I am towards you, I had to read this out loud to DG. He was laughing his ass off at your most, mainly the references to ML. He too has dealt with my hair woes.

    JJ I hear you girl and I am soooo deeply sorry you had to go through this. I have mostly always had hair at my chin or above. One time along time ago I had a similar experience...it wasn't like Kate Gosselin, but almost. AND that was before she was on TV. My hair is my crowning glory (to quote someone)...and I pull a super freak if it's not right. Needless to say, I get it.

    Hang in there. Alcohol helps. Kind of.

    XO J

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  19. that was supposed to say "post" not most...

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  20. hi jj - well, at least hair grows. your hair will be growing out before you know it. the style isn't so bad. it's kind of cute in a pixie'ish way. if you were so inclined, you could even spike it up a bit. i'm not sure if your bangs are supposed to be choppy or piecey but there's ways to fix that with hair wax/paste. it could even look kinda edgy. maybe some razor cut angled wispy bangs?

    anyhow, sorry, i'm fkg rambling!

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  21. It looks cute! With a little product you could totally work the shit out of it until it grows back. It's gonna grow sooner or later and it's gonna feel like forever. I donated my hair one time and the stylist left one side longer than the other making me have to cut even shorter and making my face look bigger than it is. I use to be right below my ear and after a year and 2 months its just now getting past my shoulders. I've been told there's vitamin to make hair grow faster but I'm a little skeptical.

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  22. When I met the guy who I now call my husband, he was an architect and I was the new tech support person in a new town. He asked to cut my long blonde hair. I laughed at him. There was no way I was going to let an architect cut my hair. I struggled on in my new town trying to find a stylist. Fast forward 5 years when we started dating and I realized his dad owned a salon and he was licensed, but no longer charging. I was between jobs and broke so I let him have his way with me (in more ways than one... it could be a fic... trust me on that one).

    OMG, he is the best stylist (ahem) ever. Of course I went from hair to my waist to what he now affectionately calls the "holocaust haircut"... actually... it looks a lot like yours. Luckily he didn't do it all at once, but over an 18 month period so I had some time to get used to it, but now I realize that I look a lot younger and skinnier with it that way.

    And, people stop me in the street now and tell me how nice my hair is... they never did that when it was a long mess. If you truly have problem hair like you say then the short cut might be your best friend!

    Just spike it (I use Control Paste by Aveda) and be the hottie you are!!!

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  23. Oh JJ, your tears in the bathroom totally breaks my heart cause, believe me, I've been there! I spend more time and money on my hair that I would ever admit, and yet it still always looks like the same frizzy mess. Every now and then I have a really great hair day, but those are very few and in between. Hang in there!!

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  24. It could have been worse. You could have left the salon looking like G.I. Jane, which is what happened to me last December.

    I went in to the shop asking if I could have a little trimmed off the sides. Barber ends up shaving my fucking head! Ok, I wasn't bald. To give you an idea of what I looked like, I looked like Robert Pattinson in Water for Elephants... if he was 5'1", Asian, and had boobies. I love that man, I just don't want to look like him.

    A bit of advice JJ, don't panic because hair tends to grow faster when short. In two months, my hair was back to it's normal length. In the meantime, all I can say is use a styling product, preferably a stiff gel that can give your hair texture and definition and make it look less than if you let Edward Scissorhands near your head.

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  25. I know exactly how you feel. I should have known to f'n leave when all the damn lady kept talking about was the pizza she just order was in...Buckets of syphilis...She cut bangs so short...I think they are NEVER coming back. I swear I am going to have to get bang extensions! I don't usually get upset about my hair if it's a little to short because it will grow back...not this time. I am totally sending her a bouquet of cat poop.

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  26. Hey JJ! You and I have the same vanity issues when it comes to our hair. It will grow, I promise! We have the same hair, I think, and it's beautiful! Just think it'll grow again. Promise.

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  27. your looking so sad i thing you are so tired.

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  28. Your hear looking so funny and your product are really useful for the good hear health.

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  29. I'm last, again...

    I LIKE IT! Really. I live far, far away so there is really such a miniscule chance that you would ever come over to beat the shit out of me, that I can be totally honest with you, so I would say if your hair looked like crap but it really doesn't. If I lived closer, and I thought your hair did look like crap I would never say so cause truthfully you scare me just a leetle bit. But I don't, so I can be honest, even if it means being nasty. But on this occassion I don't hafta be, it really looks good. ;)

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  30. So sorry for that traumatic experience. I hope you are finding a way to make it work for you now. I agree with some of the suggestions to spike it like Alice (Twilight only). I think it would look cute on you and you have the personality to rock that look.

    My haircut horror story - in high school, I got tired of the same old waist length straight hair that I'd always had. I hadn't got anything more than a trim since I was 6 years old. So I go to get one of those "feathered" cuts that everyone was sporting. My "stylist" was in over her head and I walked out of there in tears with a cut that looked like the lady from "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman". I went thru several more horrid cuts trying to fix it. Very traumatic. Finding a good stylist is tough. I'm back to the straight and long - it's me.

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  31. JJ - I think the new cut is adorable! I know how it goes when you go into the salon and you have a vision and it doesn't come close to what you thought - you freak out because it is your hair and it is attached to your head and it doesn't grow that fast. But you don't have anything to worry about - it works for you and you should work it!!!!

    I had a really bad cut once - I was stepping out on my sweet William (guy who cuts my hair). I wanted to go to a hip salon and get transformed - Yeah, well this h00r took my stringy/limp hair - put some goo on it and took a razor to it to give me a "chopped bob". The receptionist at the salon took one look at me and didn't make me pay - it was that bad. I called William - he sort of fixed it and my hair grew back in a year.

    Hang in there! Rock the short cut - not many of us can!

    xoxo!

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  32. JJ, I just have to say...I was feeling your pain reading your blog and slowly scrolling down and got a glimpse of that fucking cat just after your emotional rant. I actually choked on my coffee. I mean hacking, coughing it back up, laughing. Not to laugh in the midst of your pain but, shit girl....your hilarious. Just sayin'

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  33. JJ---Don't cry ! you can so easily make that into Alice's style in Twilight! Very cute!
    Margaret

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  34. TO be honest? It just looks crooked. Or was that on purpose? Maybe you should go for the full-on pixie-style short-do. Like Emma Watson.

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  35. I like it. I wish I could carry off a "do" like that. I say for for the "messy" look. Blow dry with some product and let it go from there. Head up my dear..you're a beautiful woman :-)
    btw--love your site..i read it everyday(multiple times). Keep up the great work

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  36. I think most of us women are pretty vain when it comes to our hair and when you go in with one idea and come out with something that is not what you wanted, it's a horrible feeling! And then there are those of us whose hair grows so freaking slow that a bad cut can be the death of us for a while. To make you feel better, maybe you should find that stylists' car and take a shit on it?!?!? :)

    I think you could do a lot with that cut - side part, bangs over to the side, tuck the sides and flip the back a little or just do like the others said and make some messy sex hair! I run a short 'do, it's longer than normal right now but the one I ran for about 3 years was Jamie Lee Curtis style and I got major compliments on it - I say give it your own flair!

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  37. JJ Sorry the hair cut was to tramautic, sucks when a cut just doesn't turn out the way you expect. Reading the comments the consensus is that it looks good on you. Really would we lie?

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  38. I am so sorry. I'm almost in tears with you.

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  39. I completely understand hair trauma. I found out for myself that if you have an iron deficiency your hair starts to fall out. Like a lot of it.

    The only thing I can recommend that is if you want your hair to grow faster start taking pre-natal vitamins & flaxseed. Or do the Ovation cell therapy stuff.

    However it looks like you could have some real fun with that haircut & get sassy. Kisses & love!

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  40. the good news is, it will grow. in the meantime, just buy a few cute headbands and some really good pomade to make it a little spikey.

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  41. I agree with the masses, it has serious potential. Imma short hair girl myself though, always have been. Sorry it wasn't what you wanted. I guess you'll just have to grow it. Again.
    xo

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  42. I sedate myself whenever I get my haircut - this is both for myself and for the person doing the cutting, since otherwise I am intolerable. Naturally, I feel your pain, but I already told you that I flove that haircut AND I am hoping that it makes you finally stop comparing your head to a bowling ball. That said, I am now a weeeeee bit anxious about doing a major style change myself next week. I love your haircut ON YOU but i don't want a matching one - lol!

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  43. JJ, my heart goes out to you because at the end of the day, the stylist was not supposed to please ANYONE, but you. You are all that matters. But just so you know, the cut looks very cute, in fact it reminds me of the French actress, Audrey Tautou. I have the urge to pin your bangs sideways with a super cute clip. You have such a cute face, no short cut looks bad on you. So cheer up sweetie, you look beautiful.

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  44. Balls to the walls my jerky twitard, don't try to tame the cut into something it has no plans on being. You have the opportunity to say FUCK IT and go with some over sexed looking Rob hair right now, why fight it?? Dip into the vast pool of hair care products you have and go to town with punking it out. That combined with your beyond cute dresses, instant image for the spank bank.

    You might not be able beat a haircut that you hate, but you can make it your bitch in the attempt.

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  45. JJ, I think it looks adorable....and way better than that mullet style you sent me way back that you were aiming for. :P

    Why do we feel like we can't tell our hair stylists if they do a crap job? I stopped going to the hair stylist that did my wedding because I thought she sucked...she was also a friend of mine (distantly)....I have not seen or spoken to her since I dropped off the face of the earth. I was too chickent to tell her I didn't think she cut my hair well.

    JJ you are always adorable in my book.

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  46. JJ, everytime I get my hair done, I hate it. I come home and my bf will be all up on me saying I look like a model (using the excuse of a new do to suck up and try and get some) while I huff and glare and tell him I hate it and why did I do this to myself. And in a week, I generally love it. I realize this may not happen to you..but I think your hair is really cute and sassy. Just sayin'. And thanks for your post, you've made me feel better about many things (inability to poop in public bathrooms when someone else it there, twiporn, etc) and we can now add hair neurosis to the list. :)

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  47. "Your hair looks nice..."

    Yep. That's right up there with, "It's not you, it's me," and "Bella, we shouldn't be friends."

    The perfect haircut for me is when no one notices I even got one. My hair is so thin (thanks, Mom) and takes forever to grow. I gave up on trying to do anything different with it years ago. They're all bad hairs days, but at least they blend together.

    Having said that, your hair looks nice. I'm kidding. Wait, that didn't come out right either ;)

    I saw you tweeting about it and felt your pain. Did the hairdresser know you were that upset?

    Okay. You have to share a post crying jag picture with us now that you're getting used to it, JJ.

    XOXO

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  48. My long, past my waist, very thick, wavy but frizzy hair was in need of a trim and I tried a fancy new salon in town. Paid over $100 for a hair cut. I asked to have it shortened enough to get the frizz out (from dying the greys away). When I got a look at it, it was shorter than my husband's. Like a really short pixie! And curled up like a Brillo pad. There was no way to spike it, as it curled too tight like a helmet, believe me, I tried. Husband hated it almost as much as I did. NO ONE liked it at all. My hair was my best feature and it was ruined. I looked like a pin head. I think I just became catatonic since I couldn't even cry or look at it.

    Two years later it is way past my shoulders again because it grows fast.

    Point is, you look GREAT with that haircut and could totes ROCK an Alice do. Spike it, pull on it, and put some colorful temporary streaks in it and have fun. I wish I could wear my hair short, as there are VERY FEW women my age with long hair. I look like an aging hippie, but at least I look like me.

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  49. I've been so busy today but I wanted to respond about a million times to these comments.

    Have I mentioned lately that I love all of you and we have the best fucking community ever? Because I do. And we do. You know what I mean.

    I'm getting used to it. There are still moments when I violently hate it but, for about a split second this afternoon, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, "I guess this ain't bad".

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  50. I TOTALLY understand the hair thing............I, too, am vain about that shit. Which is why I've been cutting it myself since I was 16. I must be pretty good because my family has me cut their hair along with my friends as well. Plus, I get a lot of compliments from people who don't even know I do it myself. I have, on a whim, gone to a "stylist" for a change, but I'm never truly happy with it. Bottom line................I completely empathize with ya.

    On a side note and a high one at that, look at Emma Watson. Have you seen the way she's slicked it back for her first commercial? It's absolutely beautiful. So.......try to do new things with it. Experiment. You may just come to love it. I know, I know, no one likes change. But sometimes change is a good thing.;)

    Keep your chin up!

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  51. JJ, your so adorable. I just want to hug you and squeeze. I admit, I have a crush on you. Your funny as hell and just so cute. (fangirl gush)Please don't let your hair upset you. Your to pretty to be crying.
    suzyqsomething

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  52. Are you sick and tired yet of hearing how much everyone else likes your haircut? It is short & sassy with the added plus that you could go for the Alice look.

    I totally understand how upsetting a bad haircut can be. Around the first Easter after my son was born, I got a perm. Was very specific that I wanted a little bit of wave in my straight, Fine hair. The bitch gave me spiral curls!!! I cried & cried. Was so upset that when my brother-in-law shot a hole thru his chest, I held everyone else together all night at the hospital. No more tears for me, I'd already done that over my hair. The lucky jackass just barely missed his heart & wound up fine. Warning: guns & alcohol don't mix.

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  53. Oh my baby! I've been in The Hunger Games world for the past three days (And finished MJ today), so I had no idea this was going on! As someone whose most recent haircut was of a similar death rattle, I sympathize. My stylist made me fucking BLEED.


    Time heals, hair grows...and shit.

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  54. This is a fact: I once had bangs cut so badly by a stylist, I had to go to a Super Cuts that same afternoon to have them repair the damage. The original woman charged $100 to jack it up, Super Cuts was $10 to fix it. You're not alone in your hair cut trauma but there are three answers to this problem :
    1) faux or full on mohawk and rock it out like a bad ass
    2) lots or really big and/or sparkly and/or colorful earrings
    3) flower clips, rhinestone pins, headbands

    If you try drawing more attention to it, maybe you can convince yourself it's awesome because it has lots of potential!!

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  55. I'm sorry - I have empathy, I do...but all I can think about is how funny you are! plus the hair works for you - just stop fighting it :)
    stupid hairdressers that don't listen still suck!

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  56. Your new cut looks so cute JJ! Low maintenance is the key. It could be worse, my last cut a couple of weeks ago had me coming out looking like Justin Bieber - and as I'm nearly 50 - it really freaked me out. What 50 year old wants to look like the Biebs? Not me. Like it's bad enough lusting after RPattz, but if anyone thinks I did the Bieber look on purpose is just wrong. I think my hairdresser was on something that day.

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  57. I think you're gonna love it when it grows out another inch or so. It's cute -- sriously! When my haircuts are bad or I fuck myself over with a bad at-home dyejob I tend to allow myself a little more drama with my makeup to make myself feel a little more confident-- like I am rocking my new hair, even if I spent the previous 4 nights weeping in the mirror.
    Hope this helps-- hair grows out. ANd then we'll fuck with it again. Circle of life, blah, blah, blah.
    xoxoxo

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  58. I think right now all you need to do is find a way to make the bangs work. Bobby pin and spray a few of the pieces to the side to give it a little more of a side bang look ad so it doesn't look so heavy on your forehead! The rest of it texture paste and mess up it'll look hot! personally I am very anti bangs! When I got a boy cut I left longer layers in the front so I could pull them out of the way. the bangs aside the rest of your cut is a cute pixie!

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  59. JJ - Jeez, so sorry you had such a bad experience (and I'm just now getting caught up on the posts). But I have to tell you, the first thing I noticed about you when we met a few weeks ago were your eyes! You have the most expressive face, especially when you smile. So, although you hate the cut, one thing that won't change is your beautiful face with the great smile.

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  61. Okay, while I have been MIA from the comments as of late, I have am catching up on my reading, and Oh, JJ darling, I sympathize. It really, honestly looks cute, but I know that feeling, when everyone is telling you it's great but you KNOW it isn't, it's just so DIFFERENT, and it's not YOU! I chopped off about 13 inches of hair in January 2010, and while I was glad to donate it, I had a moment of sheer and utter panic when I got home and realized I had no idea how to blow dry that crap now sitting atop my head. What do I do with it??? I was just so used to turning my head upside down, blow drying and leaving the house. But that's the great thing about hair, darling, it grows out! And plus you're so fucking cute it barely matters anyway. Rock that haircut, you twat waffle!

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  62. Awww JJ, I was expecting much worse. The fact that you can just run your fingers thru it & go = fucking great. I've never been happy with my (curly) hair but since I decided to layer it, all I do after my shower is apply some product, shake my head & go. I love it & I suspect you'll love your cut too when you realize how easy it is to care for. I think it looks great! :)

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  63. Addicted2TwilightMarch 22, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    It really does look nice. And I'm not just saying that. Ive gotten some REALLY bad haircuts. Haircuts that made my boyfriend stop seeing me because I looked like a boy (and because I woundn't bang him) haircuts that forced me to wear a headband for three months until it was long enough to put in a short stumpy ponytail. Very sad haircuts. But you have the perfect hair for that cut, its not thick or wavy and you can blow dry it flat and not "big texas" like mine. You said yourself you've got lots of products (BTW I might be able to compete with that) just throw some wax on that head and call it a day.

    To be honest I'm quite jealous that you have the hair cut of my dreams with the hair of my dreams and I am stuck with this blah hair. Live it woman!

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  64. I agree with the masses, it has serious potential. Imma short hair girl myself though, always have been. Sorry it wasn't what you wanted. I guess you'll just have to grow it. Again.
    xo

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  65. Oh my baby! I've been in The Hunger Games world for the past three days (And finished MJ today), so I had no idea this was going on! As someone whose most recent haircut was of a similar death rattle, I sympathize. My stylist made me fucking BLEED.


    Time heals, hair grows...and shit.

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  66. your looking so sad i thing you are so tired.

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  67. It could have been worse. You could have left the salon looking like G.I. Jane, which is what happened to me last December.

    I went in to the shop asking if I could have a little trimmed off the sides. Barber ends up shaving my fucking head! Ok, I wasn't bald. To give you an idea of what I looked like, I looked like Robert Pattinson in Water for Elephants... if he was 5'1", Asian, and had boobies. I love that man, I just don't want to look like him.

    A bit of advice JJ, don't panic because hair tends to grow faster when short. In two months, my hair was back to it's normal length. In the meantime, all I can say is use a styling product, preferably a stiff gel that can give your hair texture and definition and make it look less than if you let Edward Scissorhands near your head.

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  68. When I met the guy who I now call my husband, he was an architect and I was the new tech support person in a new town. He asked to cut my long blonde hair. I laughed at him. There was no way I was going to let an architect cut my hair. I struggled on in my new town trying to find a stylist. Fast forward 5 years when we started dating and I realized his dad owned a salon and he was licensed, but no longer charging. I was between jobs and broke so I let him have his way with me (in more ways than one... it could be a fic... trust me on that one).

    OMG, he is the best stylist (ahem) ever. Of course I went from hair to my waist to what he now affectionately calls the "holocaust haircut"... actually... it looks a lot like yours. Luckily he didn't do it all at once, but over an 18 month period so I had some time to get used to it, but now I realize that I look a lot younger and skinnier with it that way.

    And, people stop me in the street now and tell me how nice my hair is... they never did that when it was a long mess. If you truly have problem hair like you say then the short cut might be your best friend!

    Just spike it (I use Control Paste by Aveda) and be the hottie you are!!!

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  69. It's Garnier Fructis Style Surf Hair Texture paste.

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  70. JJ, not gonna lie. After reading your tweets about it last week I totally was expecting far worse than that picture. It is in all honesty a very cute cut on you. I will make you feel better though. One of my best friends from college, old roommate and sorority sister was getting married. Her wedding was in June. The previous fall I had chopped all my hair off, 11" donated to locks of love. Obviously in 9 months it had begun to grow back, and was feeling too long for me. I was visiting another friend in my old college town, helping her move so I couldn't get in to my normal stylist. I went to a salon I'd used in college. It was at that point a few years ago when the Posh Spice angled cut was big. I should have turned and ran when the girl turned to the stylist next to her and asked what her best way of approaching the cut would be. Hello, I'd already had the cut, all she had to do was trim. Of course that didn't happen. She couldn't get it even, so she just kept cutting. When she finally finished. The hair in the front that should have been just below my chin, was mid-cheek, and the back of my head was practically shaved. She still hadn't done the highlights. Now I have DARK BROWN HAIR, and wanted some chunky blond highlights. The girl foiled my hair so much, I left the salon a BLOND with brown lowlights. Best part is, the salon made me pay full price because I didn't tell her to stop when she had me turned away from the mirror. $105 lesson learned, stuck to my stylist at my usual salon!

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  71. OK I'm slow as fuck I'm like 8 and 9...fast h00rs

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  72. @Tigerkitten36 - Holy shit I was in the middle of changing laundry and had to respond. Bratmobile??? Holy 90's flashback, riot grrrl!!! I fucking loved that band.

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  73. Did you know you can shorten your links with AdFly and receive cash for every visit to your shortened links.

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