Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Robert Pattinson's Narrow Escape at the Airport!

I was over at ROBsessed the other day, reveling in the plentiful bounty of pics that we've been mercifully inundated with lately, when I came across an interesting group of shots... In case you missed it--and this really has to be seen to be believed--I'm reposting them here with helpful blow-by-blow explanations in the captions so that you can fully understand the magnitude of what went down here...

Scene: Airport terminal, heading to Berlin... It's deserted; something is not right...

Dean, do you feel that? I sense a disturbance in the force...


I'm sure it's nothing, Rob. Just keep walking...


If you say so...

Then--like something from The Matrix or The Terminator coming after Rob!--a person starts to materialize out of the phone bank.


Dean springs into action!

It's Amy Sedaris's long-lost chesty younger sister, and she's after the precious!
Dean responds with heretofore foolproof "titty twister" defensive action...


It doesn't work! LOOKOUT Dean! She's on the run!
And now she's moving in for the kill! Don't let her touch him!

In a final heroic moment, Dean manages to chase her off!

...or DOES he???


Dude, do you feel like we're being followed?

25 comments:

  1. Is it wrong that I am totes turned on by Dean's Nike Shoxx?

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  2. Second thought...her sandals are SUPER FUGLY.

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  3. OMG!!! I'd have fallen on the floor and grabbed his ankles..begging for a pic or autograph...or no no a pic..yeah for sure..lucky girl..wonder what she was really saying..

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  4. It's me, Jen, from Twired.........This is hilarious! What a stealthy & quite chesty woman she was! Dean- "Protecting the Precious is a dirrrrrty job, but someone's gotta do it."

    xo J

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  5. now see the better approach would have been to stalk Dean first. moon eye him, then ask Rob to take a pic of you and Dean... Get Dean's guard down you see..... or maybe that's just me. I love the Big man...

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  6. That last picture makes me laugh so fucking hard. She really is a fucking ninja in daisy dukes and shitty sandals.

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  7. It's easiest to start a disqus profile. Not sure if you're on IE or not, which seems to be causing a problem we're trying to fix. Sorry!

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  8. lmfaooooooo this is hilarious

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  9. I WANT Rob's sweater!!!! Ah hell, I (along with every other chick in the world that is breathing) want Rob too. I'm trying to figure out who the hell goes to the airport in a bikini top, and I need to talk to that lady. If she can find a top to hold her big old bazungas, then so can I. Point me to the store you go that bikini top at and I'll be on my way.

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  10. ok ok it might be time for me to figure out if i can un-do this! i'm bummed that people can't comment or that avis are not working. boo. :(

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  11. I'm dying here!!! It hurts so much to keep laughing.. but I. JUST. CAN'T. STOP. .... ROFLMAO!

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  12. Sheesh! Talk about attack of the trailer trash. Rob must posess a shit ton of restraint because even I, a straight chick, couldn't stop staring at her boobs. They demand your attention. Personally, I think Dean was trying to cop a feel.

    In all honesty would you guys throw yourselves at Rob that way? I'd probablly freeze up like a racoon caught in the headlights of a careening hummer and melt into the shadows so as not to be seen by him. I preffer to throb in private.

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  13. @ kerri - yeah, I would most likely react like you. I'm not one to make a scene. Those pics are too funny tho.

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  14. I'm with you!! I'd of ninja rolled to the floor and grabbed is ankles, Dean for sure would not have got me off, I've got bone breaking grasp lol.

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  15. that should of been *his ankles* lol

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  16. Nice one Snarky!

    She really is a ninja. I hope she's not a pirate. Cos if she was, she'd be on her way to find Jackson, and @Jaymes805 would cut a bitch.

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  17. Bwaaaahaha! I didn't even notice her at first in that last picture. That is awesome! Is she trying to stow herself away in Dean's back pocket?

    Good thing I wasn't in the general vicinity - that bitch would be getting seriously tackled. And I'm talking Lawrence Taylor on Joe Theismann tackled. Fucking skank.

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  18. Annie AuthorVandVMay 5, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Seemed like a good idea…whirlwind trip to Berlin, stalk the precious, touch the precious, maybe graze the precious with my tits. If I was really lucky, accidently/on purpose grab a handful of precious ass. *sigh* Damn the paps for recording my personal humiliation for posterity in this way, and damn that big caveman that blocked my access to him. It hurts worse than a case of genital herpes, I should know.

    All you bitches dissing my wardrobe can kiss my ass. I can’t help it that I don’t have a lot of extra cash to spend on stupid ‘soccer mom’ clothing like you. I mean a stripper’s salary can only go so far.

    G-strings, pasties, motion lotion, and medications (see above reference to genital herpes) have to be my number one priority.

    I do wish someone had warned me about how fucking cold it was in Germany though. Miami was a toasty 80 degrees when I left. Upon arrival in that airport, my nipples were hard enough to cut glass. Fucking 60 degrees. Fucking Berlin.

    **Okay I admit I’m not really her…but the stalker/stripper either just channeled me as I read this…or I haven’t had enough caffeine today…ugh

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  19. I fucking died laughing when I read this post. The play-by-play killed me.

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  20. Snarkier Than YouMay 5, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    I can only hope that the look of desperation would not be so apparent on my face (and that I wouldn't run after him in the airport to begin with!) but I have my doubts - lol... honestly though? I would totally freeze up if I saw him walking through the terminal where I happened to be. Definitely wouldn't stake out the place in a bikini, but gotta give the girl an A for effort - she did NOT want to be thwarted! : )

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  21. OMFG, this made laugh so fucking hard!!

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  22. umm i didn't even read this post because i was looking at the pics and got distracted by the ho with the giant boobies and jorts. so i have to go back and read but don't we know by now that rob likes girls wearing oversized tshirts tied up,chucks and skinny jeans? aka kristen? just made me smile to see a girl trying so hard and she didn't even know what he liked.

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