Friday, June 10, 2011

The MacGyver Dress: We All Should Have One

In the spirit of ending this week the same way we started it, you know, talking about the MTV Movie Awards shenanigans -- the Breaking Dawn trailer and RPattz's surprise use of the F word -- I would like to pay homage to the real star of last Sunday night: KStew's dress. To put it simply, that slip of a dress fucking rocked. I most always admire her fashion sense and the individuality of most of the pieces she chooses to wear to awards shows. I'd sell my husband's kidney to be able to wear that shit and look that good.

Robsten threesome after the show? Yes, please! As long as she doesn't speak.

But this year's Movie Award frock is most certainly my most favorite of all for its versatility and usefulness. It's the fucking MacGyver of dresses.

Fuck, if only I had some safety pins and metal studs, I could totally blow up Texas.

I bet you could almost hear a collective sigh of relief from her fellow female attendees. For once, no one had to worry about a wardrobe malfunction. Pop a button? Bust a seam? No prob, just steal one of Kristen's safety pins. Lose an earring? Whatevs... pull a nice diamond stud from KStew's dress.

She's like a walking wardrobe repair kit.

And little did we know that her dress also doubled as a weapon. It's the Awards girls' pepper spray - no need to try and stuff that pesky canister into your microscopic hand bag. No siree. You'll be fending off handzy drunk fellows like nobody's business with your studs and pins. I imagine it would've been quite useful for Mila Kunis trying to defend against Timberlake's on-stage groping.

I might look a little more thrilled if JT was fondling my bewbies.

It just hit me! Now I know why Rob opted to kiss Taylor and not Kristen - he was afraid he would be injured by the dress!

Rob's thought bubble: "Hmmmm... do I kiss her and risk doing permanent damage to various parts of my body, or take the easy way out and make out with the wolf boy?"

I totally think that the US Military, this very minute, is devising a plan to get their hands on this dress. Just think -- combine those studs and pins with a piece of chewing gum, a bottle cap and some gun powder, she's a weapon of fucking mass destruction.

Of course, for RPattz, she's his weapon of mass-turbation. Ba dum bump!

TGIFF twat waffles!


  1. I STILL love that dress. Esp. later with the Chuck's.

    I'd sell one of my own kidneys to look that good in it - and to be 21 again. 'Cause I'd look pretty stupid wearing that at my age. I'll throw in my only child as well! I'll even settle for 31! or 41!

  2. My whole thought while watching the awards show was "she can kill someone with that outfit" and laughing at how she had to grab peoples shirt and partially lean to her side to give people hugs

    Of course, for RPattz, she's his weapon of mass-turbation - EFFIN HILARIOUS

  3. Totally loved that dress too! I also liked her bullett dress she wore last year. She's a killer when it comes to fashion!

  4. Her dress was crazy-awesome. I second Rikki_DD on the "EFFIN HILARIOUS" statement.

  5. MacStewber! MacStewber!

    Loved the dress...they are 'safety' pins after all...most certainly safe from a good fondling from those long luscious fingers of her beau thang....lucky biatch.

    Loved the threesome comment. Teehee.

  6. Thanks for blogging about something that doesn't make me want to hurl my breakfast. Yesterday's post was so gross I couldn't finish. I guess I should know better when I see "poop" in the title.

    Kristen can really pull off the badass look. Who knew safety pins and diamonds went together.

    Oh to be young and firm again...

  7. kstew certainly has a well-deserved monopoly on the sparkly mini-dress action in LA! i just want to know difficult it was to sit - lol! can't imagine that dress on a wooded chair - hope the theater chairs were cushy! wait, why am i worried about her ass???

  8. STY - I agree on the sitting thing. She probably tried to sit on Rob's lap and he nearly shit himself.

    VitR - MacStewber -- love it!

    likeitlemony - You're welcome.

    kintail - I think she might be the ONLY actress who can pull off the fancy dress/Chucks combo.

  9. You just know she knows to wear these dresses only to the MTV awards cause she's always up on the stage collecting some popcorn...who needs to sit down! That's why she was straight onto the Vans, lost of standing upright!!

  10. A post that includes Twilight and MacGyver - I've died and gone to heaven!! No idea what to sign myself - does anyone else around here go by the name of Twirish?

  11. That dress took me back to a time where I wore a black off the shoulder saftey pins all over it shirt, slochie socks, and possibly a mullett to boot and i'm pretty sure I was probably listening to Billy Idol at the time.. She rocked that dress with all the trimins..

  12. I may or may not always wear a bracelet on my wrist held together by a safety pin for this very reason.

  13. All I can say is ... legs, oh my legs!

  14. I LOVED this dress! She looked gorgeous in it!

  15. I loved the dress with the chuck. I didn't see her on the red carpet before, so I didn't realise she'd changed her shoes!

    Liz Hurley will be thrilled to know that safety pin dresses are back in fashion!!


Comments are our life now. Leave one!