Monday, June 6, 2011

Twitarded Recap: MTV Movie Awards

I'm not going to pretend I stayed up and watched the MTV Movie Awards last night...what can I say, I'm old. So this morning, it was a hell fire rush to watch the two-hour broadcast in 45 minutes. It can be done, believe me. There's a lot of stuff to skip over. Generally I find that anything non-Twilight or Rob-related, is unimportant. Although the opening number was hysterical, thank you Jason Sudeikis.

Maybe I'm turning into a fuddy-duddy, but holy hell, the MTV Movie Awards should be rated R! Between the plethora of F-bombs dropped (*gasp*) and the penis references and the groping, I'm almost relieved I don't have teenagers that would've begged to watch it. That would have been awkward!

However NO F-bomb had me squirming on my couch like the one that fell from the cherry-red lips of RPattz.

I want him to follow me around all day repeating the line... "But I did fuck you." I just love that he's so pleased with himself for saying it!

But I digress...

As we all knew would happen, Rob and Kristen, once again take home the golden popcorn paperweight for Best Kiss. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think there was a category Twilight Eclipse was nominated in that they didn't win. It must have been the 7,894 times I voted on You're welcome.

And just in case you need to compare to previous years' wins, here are the 2010 and 2009 acceptance speeches. I truly hope these two brush up on their public speaking skills should one of them ever be nominated for an academy award... you know, when pigs fly.

2010 Best Kiss (click here)

2009 Best Kiss (click here)

Maybe if they win for Breaking Dawn, we'll be lucky enough to get a Notebook-style acceptance speech.

You can't tell me I'm the only one that wants it like this. Fucking hot and leg hitchy and yummy...

Stay tuned for our own special Twitarded dissection of the Breaking Dawn trailer tomorrow night. Can you guess which part is my favorite?


  1. Freakin' leg-hitchy YES!!!! We want a Notebook-esque kiss for BD Part 1 next year. Yes freakin' please!

  2. OMG, I never saw that Notebook Best Kiss clip. LOOOOOOVE that!! Um...

    I'm sorry, I'm still thinking of Ryan Gosling...

    (Btw, if it weren't for the BD trailer, I would have never watched the awards show. I thought it was completely boring.)

  3. You know the reason Rob didn't kiss Kristen was because he was terrified that dress was going to stab him. I was waiting for her to stab someone with that dress.

  4. wow I've never seen The Notebook win but YES that is how it's done people!!! ok maybe ryan gosling should have spit out his gum first, but fucking YEAH!! and we will never, ever get that from Kristen & Rob. Not. Gonna. Happen.

    I was slightly appalled by Rob's [ahem] "speech" for Reese's thing - but i guess all this stuff is kinda rehearsesd (f-bombs aside i reckon lol - that's gonna cost someone something! my guess it that whoever was at the censor controls was too busy being dazzled by rpatts - lol).

  5. i love that Taylor had to wipe his chin off after the kiss.

  6. HOLY HEADBOARD BREAKING SEX!!!! AND YES....I KNOW I'M SHOUTING! Sigh...I cannot wait for this movie!

  7. glad I can post again. I have been lurking.
    Love you ladies.
    And would someone please give us another camera angle on the Rob/Taylor kiss. That's my fantasy come true right there...oh, but with me in the middle.

  8. The auto start on the video clip scarred the shit out of me.
    MAs are so lame and tired, yet I still watch them to see what the kids are in to these days. There was some nice moments, Reese and Emma Stone winning awards was a nice break from the Twi fest.

  9. I'm practicing for my guest spot on Joan River's show, so bear with me. I'm gonna be bitchy...

    Thought the show as a whole was lame - but then again, MTV IS lame.

    The "kiss" was priceless.

    But was I the only one who thought Rob came across as an immature ass? Not for the f-bomb - I think it's hysterical that he flubbed it and Reese had to correct him, but just his general demeanor. Goofiness and good looks only work so long. There are times when it's smart to act like an adult. He seemed like some high school kid playing with the mic at an assembly...

    Loved how KStew slipped into her chucks after the runway. I do think that was her black bra hanging out over the top of her dress (which was totally awesome btw, esp the safety pins) most of the night. I wondered if it was the edge of the dress but she eventually got it tucked in, so it wasn't supposed to be showing. What the hell does she need a bra for anyway?

    And did the camera have to flash to Emma Watson every time Eclipse won an award?

    The most interesting part was watching the live feed from the red carpet - where the handler to celebrity ratio was about 10:1. What the hell do all those people do? And how do I get a job doing that?

    At least the gossips say Robsten were all lovey-dovey at the after party. AWWWWW.

    (My crankiness might have something to do with the fact we just had our second 70 degree day this year and I was cooped up in an office building editing HTML code. Think those multi-millionaire Twi kids would care to donate to my retirement fun so I can cut back my hours? I'd be nice then!)

  10. I actually loved Rob kissing Taylor (and kinda predicted it too which was funny!) I have a feeling we won't see a real kiss from those two until Breaking Dawn Part II gets best kiss.... if there even still together LOL

  11. I had a comment all prepared until I went into an anti-chic flick rage upon seeing a reference to The Notebook.

    I kind of hope they never kiss on the show. It would be too predictable.

  12. So I was just flipping through the channels & thought I'd watch the end of the awards...again. It came to the part where Rob presents Reese with the award & I had to change it pronto. It was embarassing. I don't care how cute or adorkable Rob is, that was just bad. Anyhoo, the awards sucked, I thought. And yes I wouuld kill for a notebook-esque acceptance..or even what they did in 09' because the sexual tension was HOT!

    Um...and on another note, I feel like they have been together FOREVER, but I guess if you think about it, it's been under 3 years. Hmmm...

    xo J

  13. Gah! Are you guys back to the normal comment form...why yes you are! you for it!

  14. Oh I heart Rob. And that Notebook kiss gets me every time. I'm really hoping one day they kiss buuuut I'm guessing they're going to keep doing this whole 'almost kiss but don't' thing for ever. Unless they're married by the time BD 2 comes out.

  15. I will preface this with I love me some Twilight, but I was really rooting for DRad to beat RPattz for "best actor". I know this isn't the Oscars or anything, but really....Harry Potter was the better movie and DRad defs outacted RPattz. Eclipse deceived to win best kiss, best flight, even best actress (stew didn't twitch and stutter as much so I thought that deserved some recognition).

    Really less Rob onstage would have been a good thing. Plus it would have made the show more interesting.

    Also, I work in marketing and aren't the MTV execs a little worried that Twi fest will end in 2 years and they have pretty much turned this show into the Twilight show??? Just saying....

    Although Rob looked great and I may switch teams if Kstew keeps it up with the totally hot/badass dresses.

  16. Damn auto correct on the iPad. I meant deserved....

  17. Surprise, Eclipse wins wherever it's nominated and I gotta believe it's just us voting for it so we can see Rob. I think this is more of an excuse to party and show movie previews than it is an actual award show of merit. Really, Eclipse as best movie? Uh, no.

    I want Rob and Kristen to be able to give coherent speech for once. Obviously they know they are going home with awards right?! Why is Taylor the most mature one of the bunch? thankfully he gave a decent acceptance of the award. I think the "will we or won't we kiss" bit is played out.

    @kintail's comment about him acting like a kid messing with the mic at an assembly was right on the money.

    LOL...I knew you'd all be lovin his dirty mouth.

  18. First of all, let me thank you for doing a TwiColon Clease and dumping that g'damn Disqus format that wouldn't allow me to comment. I'M BACK BITCHESSSS!

    Holy Mary mother of GOD, YESSSS! THAT'S exactly what I want....that motherfucking Notebook kiss!!!

    Well, that, except I want Kristen to be giving the f-bomb salute in the middle of it. And Robs glorious hands wrapping around her ass. And maybe a bed with a headboard they could fall back on. And clothes shredding. And.....and....oh fuck it. Who am I kidding. Basically, I want porn.

    Totally agree about the accpetance speeches, Kris & Rob need help and I'd like to be the first to volunteer to tutor them in public speaking. Rule number one...envision your audience naked. Then, YOU get naked. Wait....


  19. Jason Sudekis was hysterical, though I did feel kind of bad for Selena Gomez because she's just a kid and he was ripping on her but then again, she's with the Biebs so maybe she deserves it.

    I literally screamed when RPattz uttered that sentence. And possibly orgasmed.

  20. I by chance caught the re-run of the movie awards last night and...OH MY WORD ROB IS SUCH A DWEEB. I also love him even more for all that awkwardness. Kristen looked good too & it was good to see her smile more. Looked like she was having some fun as well. You can tell Taylor is the best at public speaking out of that trio. LOL! Anyhoo...LOVED the trailer for Breaking Dawn!

    I also had no clue they premiered the trailer for the last Harry Potter movie. I got SUPER EXCITED about that as well! (That movies coming out much sooner than BD.) It should be fun to hear your guys thoughts on the trailer. :-)

  21. I was disappointed...thought Rob looke and acted like he was smashed and thought he was very un-Rob-like. Also didn't care for the vulgarity, but I'm an old fart, so not the usual MTV watcher.

  22. best. kiss. acceptance. ever. (talking about Ryan and Rachel)

    it's so much better to watch the MMAs on fast forward. Jason S. cracked me up a few times though- "Welcome back to the MMAs, brought to you from the RainForest Cafe. " I don't why, but that killed me. LOL

    @mamacougar - hilarious. i want porn too. some fan fic scenes acted out for my viewing pleasure. ;)

  23. Rob WAS an ass. I get that he's embarrassed when Twilight wins and wins, cause he knows it's a joke that just makes people resentful.

    But he was rude and crass--that comment to Reese will not be forgotten in A-list Hollywood--and did appear smashed. Not a good sign, repeated public inebriation in one so young. This is not going to end well, I fear.
    Fortunately the unsullied 'ward' part of Robward will live on in what will be 10 hours of movies.

  24. I was rewinding RPatz's 'But I did fuck you' over and over, until my 5 year old wandered in and spooked the bejeezus out of me; he was supposed to be asleep. He caught his mommy making a bad example. Good thing he's too young to know what Rob meant. lol!

    I think Rob made the movie awards last night. The kiss, the totally messed up generation speech, and his overall dazzling self in the audience.

    It was good, not great, but what do we expect from MTV?


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