Wednesday, June 15, 2011

You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Pick Your Nose...

WARNING: Possible high gross-out factor ahead. Reading while eating is strongly discouraged.

I know we talk about poop a lot around these here parts but today I'd like to discuss something a little different. Boogers. Let's face it, everybody gets them... but not everyone disposes of them in the same fashion. Some people, mostly women, daintily dab at the offender with a tissue. Some people, mostly men, like to get rid of the culprit with force - aka the snot rocket. Some people try the blowing - I find this to be very often unsuccessful and unsatisfying. And some people just pick. I'll admit it... I'm a picker. Just typing about picking my nose makes me want to fish around up there to see if I can evict a couple of bothersome boogers.

I'm going to venture a guess that Robert Pattinson is a picker. Although he sure does a good job of trying to hide it on set.

Oh nose is kind of itchy. Maybe if I fiddle with my sunglasses, it will go away.

Fuck... it's not going away. I hope it's not a booger.

It feels like a booger....

Damn, it IS a booger. How am I going to dispose of this thing without anyone noticing?

Great, it's on my hand and what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

I wonder if I have a tissue in my pocket?

Nope, guess I'll just use the inside of my pocket AS the tissue. *giggles* The dry cleaner is sure going to be in for a surprise.

YES! Booger disaster averted. Life is good.

Don't worry... I don't wipe my boogers on my clothing or other people. I dispose of my crusty snot properly. I flick those fuckers! Please don't think any less of me. I blame my dad.

Everyone's got a booger to dispose of at some point (if not, you should probably see a doctor). I've already spilled my snotty secrets. The rest of the Twitarded quartet??? I peg JJ as a picker. I would bet $20 that STY uses a tissue to remove those pesky nasal cling-ons. And TK... well, I'm positive that dirty whore is a total snot rocket pro.

What about RPattz? Is he a picker? Or do you think he never leaves home without his hanky?

Aaaaand GOT IT!

Don't worry - we could never love you any less, even if you are a picker!


  1. WTF is a snot rocket? I've never heard this term. Is it a Maine thing like "hosey?"

  2. The Bruins are on!!and your talking boogers??? Gah!! I hate anything...cold...wet..just *shivers* plus the threat of bile is always in my throat when there is phlem or boogs involved.. I got mad pickers in my house dd for one I'm always yelling at her "get a tissue"..ok that's my rant, ..back to the Bruins for period 2 ..GO BRUINS!!

  3. I'm dying of laughter. Tears and boogers running down my face but now I'm not sure what to do with those little fuckers. I guess I'll pick and flick.

    We JUST had a convo on twitter about this last week. Not sure who was involved.

    Apparently when I was little, I was shy about my boogers.. I would hide behind the curtain and pick away. At least I did it in private. I was trying to be sly about it but I guess I wasn't as stealth as I thought since I got called out by family and family friends.

    The worst are kids pick their boogs and eat them. So gross. I think I tried it once to see what all the hype was about, but wasn't impressed.

    BTW has everyone seen that picture of Kellan picking his nose at his brother's wedding? No? It's a beauty.

  4. @Texas Katherine - Do you really live under a rock or something? How the fuck can you NOT know what a snot rocket is???

    I'm awesome at snot rockets. Just figured I'd throw that out there.

  5. Oh Rob is a picker, roller, flicker..totes..But you are right we's still love him no matter what he did. Love ya...

  6. In Australia we call a snot rocket a "bush blow" - you hold one nostril closed and snort really hard out through your other nostril. You're only supposed to do it in the bush (woods)... but ya know... some ppl are gross....

  7. Oh God! You did not just go there! And you just had to take The Pretty with you, didn't you? Bitch. I knew I shouldn't look at this!

    Rugby players do the snot rocket thing on the pitch. [They also kneel, pull the leg of their shorts away from their leg, and piss in the try zone, while looking around trying to be inconspicuous.] Ew.

    I always have a tissue on me, and have been accused of blowing my brains out on occasion.

    But - in my (fantasy) world, Robward never burps, shits, spits, farts, or snots! You're trying to ruin everything!

  8. I love picking my nose. That is all.

  9. I'm dying here! I'm a tissue person and I have strong issues with booger eaters... I swear I'm going to puke just writing this. My niece is a booger eater... she's 5 I think she should have broken the habit by now. I was just yelling at her today.. "Oh god.. please for the love of god stop eating your boogers!" she just gave me this look like 'you're crazy.. this shizzzz good' I need to get a picture of that face :/

    I have issues with snot rockets and people that hock loogies (<-you all say that right??) too. Anyway back on topic a guy in hs shot a snot rocket on my purse.. I ran to the back of the bus and beat the shit out of him.. no joke. I bet he never shot one of those again!

    I'll just pretend that I didn't see any of those boogie pics of Rob *walks away back into fantasy land*

  10. I'm a proud digger and flicker! But before I flick, I'm like Rob and have to see the culprit that drove me crazy. And I'll be honest, I don't care where I am or who is around. I will dig for that bastard. In a meeting at work, during dinner, on a date. I have ZERO shame.

  11. My nose got extremely uncomfortable while reading this post/comments. Perhaps it is allergies or just a topic related jedi mind trick. Hmmm..where the hell are those tissues!

  12. pick pick pick! Ooh and a good shower snot-rocket. But ONLY in the shower, I promise.

  13. I've gotten much better at the shower snot-rocket since i bought a neti pot a few years ago. the best thing EVER.

  14. I literally gagged reading this post! I can clean up any mess...human messess, dog messes, rabbits messes (did you know that a mama rabbit will eat her baby if it dead?). But my weakness...LOOGIES!! My hubs & son hock loogies (*insert gagging just by typing the words*) My hubby dies laughing when I start gagging...He said he will stop hocking loogies in my presence once he actually makes me puke. He really loves me! NOT! My daughter is a "Boogie Eater". She will pick her nose and then eat it (you guessed it, I am gagging again). I tell her not to eat her boogers and she says, "Why? They are good. WTF!?! I can't deal!!

  15. I'll admit, I've never attempted the snot rocket. My fear, with my coordination, is that it will end up dripping down the front of my shirt.

    I'm the basketball star of nose picking -- I practice the pick and roll!!

    But I do not, I repeat, do NOT eat my boogers and I never have, EVER. That makes me gag.

    I remember in the 3rd grade, the boys used to put there boogers on the heater in the classroom to cook 'em up good before they snacked on them. DisGUSting!!

  16. @Sphinchter Speak - I am literally sitting at my desk gagging loudly as I write this but there is nothing grosser than loogies. I lived with a bunch of dudes back in the day and they would spit loogies EVERYWHERE. Nothing like waking up for work, hungover as all hell only to find a gigantic loogie in the bathroom sink. Barf-worthy for sure!!

  17. I blow my nose a lot. Especially during allergy season. However with all my horse riding I tend to be a picker too. Let me tell you! Dirt gets in there with the boogies & it's just uncomfortable! Pretty much all my girlfriends are the same in that regard. You should see all the nose picking that goes on at horse shows! HAHAHAHA!

  18. I'm going to agree on the gross factor of loogies. They make me gag too. But sometimes, like when I have a head cold, they're necessary. Once I tried to spit one out my car window which wasn't all the way down and it hit the edge and rolled down the outside of the window. *gag*

    @Amers425 - This is totally unrelated, but do you do dressage type riding?

  19. @LKW - I used to when I was younger but then I moved on to jumping & western riding. I want to start up again though. :-)

  20. They were talking about boogies on the radio and ask the question in the car when you have gone knuckle deep for nose nuggets do you: A) wipe in the left side of the seat, B) Wipe on the front of the seat, C)Random flick.

    Personally I try and find a cup, gum wrapper, or some other trash because I'm a picker. I got out of my car and just had to look around, since I'm not the only one who drives it, and found A,B,and C.


  21. I prefer to flick my boogers out the window but it generally depends on consistency of said booger. Juicy ones - I need to find a tissue!

    @Amers425 - I ask because my SIL is looking to sell a horse (a dutch warm blood) and I'm trying to get the word out to anyone I know in the horse community if they know someone looking.

  22. @LKW - Oh wow! Well...since I've been out of that for quite a while I know very few people looking for that kind of horse. I would LOVE to have a warmblood, but alas I already have my horse and I love her too much to sell her & get another. My god-mother's daughter does high level dressage so if you want to send me some info I can get that to her. Did she put the horse online somewhere? My email address is:

  23. While I will admit to the occasional pick, I'm a tissue kind of girl. Smog rockets and loogies gross me right the fuck out, especially when done in public. Eeeeeew, nobody needs to see that shit!!

  24. Okay, I freely admit that I am a nose miner... I have no problem doing this in front of family (like my daughter and SO) but that's it. I then throw them in the garbage ( I have one in every room and in the car) I have had one or two come flying in the back window after flicking them out the front so I don't do that any more...

  25. Yeah yeah, boogers, snot rockets whatevs CAN I JUST SHARE THIS....

    Seriously go have a look if you haven't seen it already, all thoughts of RPatz picking his nose will be forgotten and/or forgiven...

  26. @Jenny Jerkface my hubs favorite spot is to hock a loogie in the toliet. He may go in there to take out his contacts and hock a loogie in the potty and walk away...(still gagging as I type). I go in to pee and there it is....gagging...and i can't pee...
    I turn away trying to close the lid while not looking and then flush...But the best part is that I am still gagging because I know it was in there.

  27. I am a tissue person & can deal with most gross stuff since having a kid - vomit, poop, oee, even snot, but a kid eating his/her boogies..(shudders)...I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
    Oh, and I REFUSE to accept that Rob is picking his nose in these pics...I SAID REFUSE!!!
    WV: torsher..."all this talk about snot is sheer torsher"

  28. FUNNIEST CAPTIONS EVAH!! I thought I was going to snort up a bogie from laughing so hard! That's the worst...It's one thing to sniffle and swallow the snot that drips down, but when you get a loose nose goblin? And it kind of tickles/scratches/itches? Worst. Hate that. But that's not what happened. I just thought I'd go off on that little tangent.

    I'm totally a picker. So is The Bentist. I used to be a flicker, but now I have a dog. Damn thing LOVES boogers! And the little bitch has some sort of dog-sense of when someone is picking, too. She comes waltzing over and just sits next to you. She knows she's getting a treat. I do use a tissue in public...but it's not as effective, and not as fun.

    Snot rockets used to freak me the fuck out...Until I learned how to do it. Now it's just another weapon in the anti-booger arsenal. It really comes in handy when you're hiking, or in a really dirty area.

  29. Is a snot rocket the same as a farmers blow? Cringe.
    Sparky pointed out a while ago the precious was a serious snot spelunker. He likes to make sure I notice it in interviews. Calls him a coke head just to piss me off.

  30. Aint it great how 'boogers and how to deal with them' is a global human phenomenon, crossing oceans and countries and equatorial lines... aw shucks! I'm sure even angels enjoy a good dig. And Rob, baby, you flick 'em and some crazy bitch out there will lick 'em... guaranteed... such is the dark side of extreme and heinous fame...

  31. Picker. I would gladly be Rob's picker...yep, I would even do that for him.


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