Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Coworker Shares Her Love Of Robert Pattinson...She Has No Idea What She's In For!

My work day yesterday sort of sucked a set of hairy balls. First, it was Monday -- that alone is capable of causing a giant suckfest. But add to it that I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest, and well, I was just a little frazzled. The ad agency I work for is currently in the process of going after a huge account and the proposal is due in a few weeks and I keep procrastinating on my part because it's just so fucking overwhelming. Plus... I still have other clients that need attention. Calgon, take me away!

He's moisturizing all right...this would've gotten me to buy Calgon in a heartbeat!

So I was sitting at my desk, head in my hands, slowly pulling out giant clumps of my hair, when one of my coworkers came into my office to talk about some stuff. She's fairly new to our company -- maybe has been here a few months so I haven't really gotten to know her that well. Imagine my surprise when she spied my Twilight FSE and said "OMG, I didn't know you had Robert Pattinson in your office!" I said, "Why yes, are you a fan?" And she said, "Oh gawd yes! He's so hot. My son bought me a poster that I have hanging on my bedroom door!"

My FSE loves to show off his red boa. He's so stylish! Or maybe he'll be tying me up with it. I hope.

You can imagine how the conversation proceeded from there as I was doing a Charlie Brown-style dance of joy in my head -- the books, the movies, the precious, other movies, etc. I was thisclose to tackle hugging her, telling her about the blog and making her read every post ever written! But then I pulled myself together... not ready to out myself like that at work. Especially to a newbie.

I do however, have the most ginormous urge to pepper her email inbox with various amazingly hot RPattz pictures and videos. I sat there for the longest time after she left my office wondering if she too spends hours perusing YouTube, watching the breathtaking beauty of the Preh-tay on her computer. Or if she has a folder full of her favorite pictures.

I wonder if her folder looks anything like my folder?

But I'll wait... I still need to feel her out a bit. I don't want to scare her away. I NEED people like her. I mean, I have all of you guys, but you're not just down the hall! I mean HOLY FUCKING SHIT ON A STICK -- a few new set pics come out and Rob is looking all sexified -- I finally have someone to SHARE it with! In person!! She has no idea what she's in for... but I hope she likes it. And if she likes RPattz, than I think she will!

Not sharing this one. Nope... this one is all mine. MINE!

This is so new to me. Someone I see almost every day has the same feelings for the boy that I do. How do I start? What do I do? I need help people!


  1. That is very cool! I've actual considered moving so I could be closer to my fellow h00rs. Your so lucky!!! Just remember not to go to crazy with the Rob porn spam...you don't want to scare her. Hey, maybe you'll get lucky & she'll read this post cause she's already a diehard twitard!

    vw: Supedan...its totally not relavent but it cracks me up when I say it like this Supah-Dan. I'm a hopeless dork, I know.

  2. I can only imagine what it would be like to have a real life friend who shares this obsession! Go slowly LKW. Be gentle with her. Don't scare her off!

    I think I would wait and get to know her a little bit before revealing the true depths of my feelings for His Holy Hottness. Make sure she's not a psycho bitch or something! [Did I really say that? Like . . . am I suggesting the rest of us aren't total perverts?]

  3. Super jealous! I want one of those. My RPAttz obsessed now lives in Arizona <:-(

  4. drop the word "twitarded" in a sentence. See if she reacts. If not, take it slow. If she squees - go for it.

  5. Of my two besties, one could give a shit about all of it, and the other is...A traitorous Jake fan! I consider a friend break up, until I rationalized and decided the more for me the better.

  6. My mom introduced me to Twilight so I do have someone to talk to and go to the movies with etc, but she's not quite Twitarded material and she's not hot on the actors. Oh well.

    The closest thing I have is a fellow Adam Lambert fan. We met at a local event and have been besties ever since. I have to say, it's the best thing ever. We ended up finding out we have a love of the same music in general and go to concerts together at least once a month as well as hang out to do other things (like watch True Blood etc).

    I really hope it works out for you because it's a ton of fun to have someone to take those random road trips and overnight sidewalk stays with!

  7. Oh, I so wish I could talk to someone also! My friends' eyes just roll back in their heads and they laugh "Rob you are so funny", shaking their heads because everything EVERYTHING they say I can relate to a scene, a quote, a You Tube (have you seen "Just Edward Closeups? I downloaded the song because I can see his face in my head...which erases all thoughts from my head, causing a lustful adoring expression to cross my face...I think the bank teller believes I'm in love with him now, forgot to take out the earbuds in time...) And no one gets my "bella" bracelet (I added a piano, apple, and lion to the crystal heart and wolf charms) or my decals on the car bumper ("Be Safe" and "La tua cantante") it would be so nice if just once someone said, "You too??? Me too!!! You guys help a lot...but it would be nice...I am trying to talk my sis into going to the BD midnight showing with me..if we have a midnite showing here in Portland, Maine!!

  8. Sorry you've got a serious cunt-kicker of a month ahead. Sounds like you've got some serious shit on your plate, and it doesn't sound yummy at all.

    But now you have someone to make nice with over The Prehtay! So lucky! Be sure to share her pretty pics with us, so we can see what kind of RPattz fan she is. Is she a Rome Rob Let Me Ride That Stubble kinda girl? Or a clean cut circus dirt WfE Rob girl? A Gator-Grabbing Amish Rob girl? Keep us updated!

  9. This kinda happened to me. A RL friend was suddenly all "I love Twilight, tell me more".. I showed her my blog. I showed her Twitarded. I introduced her to fan fiction, shared Fifty with her... and now she's really quiet about it all. I feel deflated that she's not 100% twitard. When I told her I was going to Forks, she was all "Really? Why?". Yeah. Killed my buzz.

  10. @ Lindsay Rae - Rome Rob Let Me Ride That Stubble kinda girl... Hey, that's me!!

    LKW, that is so cool! I wish I had someone like that nearby.

  11. I'm jealous! I have no one nearby that gets it. Thank Gawd for Twitarded Bloggy Goodness or I'd feel so all alone.

  12. Congrats on the potential find. The fact that she has a poster of the Precious on her bedroom door is a promising sign.

    Venture in carefully. Start with the obvious "have you read the Twilight books?" if so, how many times has she read them? If only once or twice, smile politely and get back to your work. If she's forgotten how many times, have her pull up a chair. Ask if she's read any Twilight blogs or fan fiction. I hope she has or would like to, that would be awesome for you. You could be like her TwiCrack dealer.

  13. Don't out yourself as one of the Twitarded bloggers until you know that she's not a beyotch.

  14. Probably better to ease into revealing your freak flag. She might *think* she loves Rob but really that means she thinks about him once a week or something, not every other waking second. If she turns out to be Twitard material, you can always get to that point with her, but you can't go back into the closet once you're out!

    I'm lucky enough to have several Twi/Robsessed friends, one of whom even went set-stalking with me in Baton Rouge. I occasionally send them pictures/videos but I'm clearly the most Twitarded of the bunch. I've become the go-to person for Twi-related questions. I'm okay with that. But they don't laugh at me, so I consider that a success.

  15. I have been lucky to have friends that I see often who are in love with Twilight. Of course...I am the one who got some of them to read them in the first place. LOL! Two of them I know read this blog so I love it. :-) Hopefully this co-worker turns out to be a twitard. Good luck!!

  16. Lucky you, LKW!! You better not ditch us now that you have someone new (and in close proximity) to share your love of all things RPattz and Twilight. Or we'll kill you.

    And don't tell her about the blog until you KNOW she's cool enough not to rat you out to everyone else in the office.

  17. I work with ONE person (out of over a hundred) who had an RPatts calendar, but I don't know her and I can't bring myself to say anything. We need a secret hand sign or gang sign to flash to identify ourselves to each other...

  18. Lucky bitch! My co-workers all look at me like I'm retarded.

    I am always waiting for some sort of reaction to my 'team edward' bumper sticker & when it doesn't happen, I wonder where all of the fans are. I know there are TONS of them. I guess they just don't live in Southeastern Virginia. Sigh.

    Enjoy your new friend!

  19. Take it slow you don't want to overwhelm her right away maybe mention Rob again in passing then forward a pic or two and if she seems receptive (which who wouldn't, I mean come on, seriously!) you're in!

    We recently had a Twi-get together after the 100 Monkeys concert in Chicago.. you may have heard about it and seen the pictures :)
    Anywho the girl doing the demo *coughsextoyscough* at the party, after we were talking about Forks, said "Oh that's a real place?" she's lucky she brought things to distract us :)

  20. I agree with STY we need some sort of hand sign to flash. I was driving down the road one day and someone passed me with a Team Edward sticker, I wanted to wave or do something to acknowledge the "Twi-Love" but did nothing. I've lost my twilight sticker when I traded in my Smart Car and only have a Cullen Crest air freshener now.

    LKW my advice would be to feel her out, go for coffee with her play dumb ask her about her Rob obsession. Ask if she’s read the books or seen any of his movies and what she thought of them. That will give you an idea of how twitarded she is, and then go from there.

    Good Luck & Keep Us Posted!

  21. Send her VIDEOS!!!! It works every time. (My fave is at the bottom of this list.)

    One divine one is Biel's first MoTU vid. Where Fifty puts that towel on. But you cannot start with that. She won't get or appreciate it yet. Wait on that.

    1. Start slow but sure. The one that got my sister and some friends totally hooked (starting from almost no awareness of him) was that one by Trixie set to Do Bad Things To You. This is the only place I could find it:


    2. But the one that still can make me cry (buckets sometimes!!) is this Biel vid which summarizes his career, including the Little Ashes shots where Rob looks so happy...and, in the pre Reese fuckery days, still innocent.


    That new employee is so luck,y back at the beginning, able to find everything anew.

  22. I am going to laugh so hard when your coworker comments on this post. As a matter of fact, I might call in an anonymous tip to your office. *twirls villain stasche*

  23. We totally need a 'gang sign' hand signal! How about the vampire attack hi-five bitch slap (you know what Laurent does in NM when he's about to attack Bella)?

  24. Ya! Somebody get to working on that handshake/sign so we can all learn it in Forks!

    Last year, my daughter and I were walking through the airport in Seattle and noticed a Pocket Edward on a table surrounded by couple of girls. [I think it was ToeFunny, but I'm really terrible with names.] Anyway, as we walked by, I just said "Hey you Twatwaffles!" and we were in! There was about a half-second of a raised eyebrow before they realized we were sister-freaks!

    I'm getting so excited for Fooooooorks 2011!


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