Sunday, July 31, 2011

Is Everything Really Better With Bacon?

I was out shopping today and had surpassed my 60-minute tolerance window for being in a mall (after which I fly into a murderous rage and start threatening to bludgeon people to death with size 00 mannequins if they don't get me to the nearest exit), so I decided that I should stop at the liquor store on the way home to dull the pain. Everyone driving on Route 1 was an idiot, and after I sat in my car screaming at the top of my lungs because the person in front of me was trying to make an illegal turn into four lanes of oncoming traffic, I knew I needed some serious libations when I arrived home. Or else. 

Once in the comfort of my local liquor emporium, I made a beeline for the vodka aisle and stopped in my tracks when I saw THIS:

 Well helloooo there...

Bacon-flavored vodka??? I wasn't sure if I felt repulsed by the idea or if I needed help loading a few cases of the stuff into my car; possibly a little bit of both. 

I'm a big fan of bacon. Huge. Bacon is delicious and totally worth the years it shaves off my life. I buy a really amazing uncured, nitrate-free bacon that melts in my mouth like little wafers of fatty goodness. It is sublime and I look forward to it on the weekends. I also can't eat eggs or toast or butter or any of that other delicious breakfast-y stuff, so bacon is pretty much it for me as far as awesome, decadent breakfast foods go. I need it. But do I need it in my vodka? I'm not sold on the idea, but it's under consideration.

There are a lot of bacon-y things out there I would consider trying...

The bacon alarm clock:

I'm pretty sure if I had this thing, I would end up dreaming about bacon all the time. Bacon  would be incorporated into my dreams somehow. This would not be a bad thing, in my book. Let me just say for the record that the person who wakes me up from the dream where Robert Pattinson is hand-feeding me bacon in bed is in big fucking trouble.

Possible deal-breaker on the bacon alarm clock:  the glowing red eyes and snout might be a little too Amityville Horror for me.

Chocolate-covered bacon:

I thought chocolate-covered pretzels and chocolate-covered potato chips sounded pretty weird the first time I tried them, too, but they're both things I would place high on my list of desert island foods.

But vodka? Do I really want to drink my bacon? Let me just state for the record that while I don't consider myself a vodka snob, I generally drink good potato vodka, usually after infusing it with berries. I almost knocked a bottle of Ciroc out of someone's hands at the liquor store because it's the most vile vodka I have ever tasted [Dear grapes: Please stick to wine--you are no good for making vodka.], and I'm pretty sure that vodka flavors like "Bubble Gum," "Gummy" and "Cotton Candy" are only consumed by underage girls.

 I think they misspelled "Pedophile." 

I guess I'll have to file this away with the other "savory" vodka flavors - like pepper and habanero - that I might use in a Bloody Mary but that's about it. Or I should give it a try - I mean, it could be one of those magical moments like the creation of Reese's peanut butter cups.
You got your bacon in my vodka!

You got your vodka on my bacon!
I mean, I like vodka...and I like bacon, soooo... I might have to go to there. Who's free for brunch???


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  2. This is a must. I was at a trendy vodka bar earlier this year and on the menu was a drink called "The Elvis Presley." Ummmm, yes.

    • 1 part Bakon Vodka
    • ½ part hazelnut liqueur
    • ½ part banana liqueur
    • splash of cream
    Served over ice.

    I don't know if I could stomach a whole bottle in the house. But I can drink 3 of these delish fat bastards when I go out.

  3. Since you are a vodka fan you have to try cake vodka by UV. I know it sounds like one of those sissy drinks and totally gross but trust me. Mix it with pineapple juice and drink as a shot. If you drink it like a drink its too much and way to sweet. It tastes just like pineapple upside down cake. If you mix it like I do you should be hammered 5 shots into the bottle :)

  4. Bacon? Food of the gods.
    I love chocolate and I love bacon. Together...not so much. They were giving samples out at a local chocolatier & I tried it. It really was NOT good. Doesn't sound great in vodka either.
    Although...I recently had watermelon beer & it was great, so who knows.

  5. Now I wish Steve Carrell was still on The Office so there can be an episode where he gets a Bacon Alarm Clock so he won't have to set up his George Foreman grill and end up burning his foot. :)

  6. "I think they misspelled pedophile..." Truly laughing like a loon over that one!!! As for buying the bottle, not sure you should. If you're that much of a vodka conisseur to know potato vs. grapes, it will probably disappoint your tasetbuds! I have no idea about what makes vodka...could be made from mountain lion nutsacks for all I know!! Stick to your weekend bacon brunch!

  7. Infusing vodka with berries?! I MUST hear more about this! What kind of berries and for how long?

    I'm a vodka lover, it is my personal brand of heroin. And it comes full circle to Twilight

  8. Bacon is fantastic! But there is a bar here in Vegas that serves a bacon martini that I have been told is disgusting. They actually have bacon strips floating in the bottle. Part of me really wants to try it anyway. But bacon and chocolate is AMZAZEBALLS!!!!!!!!! As is bacon and ice cream and bacon beer

  9. idk, bacon vodka doesn't really work for me. Then again, vodka in general doesn't work for me. It might have something to do with getting so sick off screwdrivers at my 18th bday party (18 was the legal drinking age way back then) that I've pretty much sworn it off for life. I'm mostly a bourbon girl but am also known for my love of wine too. :D

  10. BACON VODKAAAA!!! I saw this when I was at the liquor store a month or so ago. I was so stoked, but pissed that it didn't come in a pint. That's a serious committment, that fifth. Whatevs, I fly by the seat of my alcoholism. I'm here to tell you:

    Bacon Vodka Bloody Mary. WIN. ALL SORTS OF WIN! It's got a smokiness that just...unfh. It's so smooth. I'm still more of a Absolut Peppar bloody mary girl, but hell. Bacon is always delish.

    I hear the bacon chocolate martini is kickin. As soon as I have kaluah, godiva chocolate liquor and cream...It's on.

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....Bacon. I love this blog even more.

  11. OOOH! Bacon. My cholesterol raising, heart attack inducing love.

    Bacon is straight from the heavens above.

    However, bacon Vodka? Um...think I would have to pass. It could never live up to my expectations.

    Best vodka drink: chocolate vodka with a vanilla soda. A taste of sweet and a nice buzz.

    Now, that costume from the Renesmee post yesterday? Nightmares, ladies. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with that image plastered into my frontal lobe.

  12. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon. I am thinking it would make a wicked good Vodka in pasta sauce.

    @Lindsay Rae--I can totally see bacon vodka in a Bloody Mary...that has me salivating. Yum!

    Great captions STY. Loved the Reese's peanut butter cup reference. xo

  13. Bacon vodka in a bloody mary sounds like a BLT to me!

    But I don't think I could drink it. I'd rather chew my bacon and savor it.

  14. The radio station I listen to here in Seattle (99.9 KISW) is geared mostly towards men. However they have been advertising this stuff on their station for a LONG time. They say it makes great bloody marys. There is also Bacon salt & Baconnaise. You know you want to try it. :-)

  15. @Nifer--OMG I WANT THAT DRINK! I was opposed to bacon vodka, but you just sold me.

  16. You guys are actually selling me on this idea - lol! I think we might have to try this in Forks this year. And using it in a pasta sauce? Brilliant! Thanks VitaminR - I should have known I could count on you for some culinary greatness here. : )

    And I was thinking about writing a blurb on how to do the berry infusion - it's REALLY simple and REALLY good - you just add frozen fruit (I usually use some combination of raspberries and blueberries)- just add a cup or so to the vodka and let it sit for a day-ish and viola! Berry vodka.

    I'm thirsty, and the water I am drinking at my desk isn't cutting it, people.

  17. Also Cook's Illustrated has a pie dough recipe that uses vodka. I am thinking the bacon vodka might add a nice flavor for a savory pie crust (ala pot pie) or quiche crust. Nom, nom, nom.

    I think I need to make a trip to the liquor store soon.

  18. OMG! Sty, you have had me turned onto infused vodka for the past couple months.. I tried the berries, and it was delicious..the dd did a really HOT pepper and horseradish one that was so hot that it was too hot..had to add more vodka.
    Bacon you say?? Hmmm this is something that I should get and we can try in Forks.. I love bacon, but not sure if I love bacon flavored I need to put my brain in gear to find the perfect mixer...mmmmmm. Bacon.

  19. Ooopsie anonymous is me....not sure whT happened there..any who, Forks is just around the corner...see you soon..wahoooo!

  20. @Nifer - holy shit that actually sounds good.

    That being said, I just... I can't wrap my head around the vodka bacon concept. I'd try it.

    P.S. - STY's berry infused vodka is pretty fucking awesome.

  21. Well here's something we haven't considered . . .

    What about BACONWARD???

  22. I'm down for Forks brunch complete with bacon flavored vodka. I know we have a room at the Forks motel with a kitchen!!! Brunch in my room anyone???

    @jael I totally thought of that epi of The Office, too! Lol

    @therugbymom I'll take Edward anyway I can get him. The bacon & vodka would be an added bonus ;)

  23. carharttsandcoachbagsAugust 1, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    I had a banana cupcake with peanut butter frosting with a piece of bacon on top today. True story. And it was fucking fantastic.

  24. I need that cupcake. Now.

    And brunch in Forks. I hope you have a really big room! : )

  25. Mmmmm....BACON...and...Vodka....and.....Chocolate! I think I would love chocolate covered bacon, but Bacon Vodka, If I want bacon, I'll eat the real stuff, not drink it. But I do love infused vodka - raspberry and pomegranate are two of my favs.

  26. A little restaurant near me uses that Bacon vodka in a "Hawaiian pizza martini"- I am not sure of all the components cause I haven't had the guts to try it, but I know it involves pineapple juice.


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