Good evening my twatwaffle-y friends. I hope Monday was better to you than it was to me. Monday usually makes me feel like I was gang-raped by gorillas and today was no exception. I'm sure it was just payback for taking a long weekend.
In this edition of the Forks Update, I'd like to talk to you about decorating. Decorating is fun and we need your help! You see, since we're invading the Forks Elks Lodge this year, chances are slim there will be even one measly poster of Edward Cullen's mug and we thought it might be fun to fancy the place up a bit. Here's where you all come in. We're looking for a group of maybe 5-10 volunteers to be in charge of all things decoration-related. Just think of it like that prom committee you were on (or not) in high school, except everyone will be way cooler and possibly drunk.
Here's the kicker... the Elks Lodge, er, Elks dudes are very strict about what we can and can't do. Mostly what we can't do. We can't use tape or tacks to hang anything so we'll have to get really creative. And we CANNOT use glitter. The penalty for the glitter offense is... well, I'm not sure, but I NEVER want to find out. Those Elks dudes might have a really big chest freezer in the basement... like someone else I know. *whistles innocently*
THEY WILL RIP US APART AND BURN THE PIECES, PEOPLE. And I'm pretty sure if that kills a Cullen, it'll do us in for sure.
This place needs a woman's touch!
We will also be responsible for leaving the Lodge in the same state it was in -- which I'm assuming is relatively clean and sans any Twilight-y loving touches. I'm sure JJ, STY and I will be randomly picking shit up as the night goes on but we'd love to have some help in this department. I doubt it will be a huge undertaking since no one will be starting any food fights... lest they want to end up in a certain (fairly empty) freezer deep in the Maine boonies.
So if you're interested in either the decorating or cleaning committee, please email me ASAP -- email@example.com -- and let me know your interest. It might be good to coordinate with some people who will be driving and might be willing to bring along an FSE or some posters. I would think between the lot of us, there will be lots of Twi-stuff!
Thank you muchly... and OMFG! 45 more days!!
PS: If you haven't booked your Twilight Tour yet, click here!!