Sunday, August 28, 2011

Virtual Hurricane After Party

Unless you have been living in a cave for the past week, you know the eastern half of the United States was just serviced by Mother Nature. There was a lot of build up for the storm. It wasn't strong, but it was huge and slow. Everyone divided into the usual two camps: ZOMG, WE ARE GOING TO DIIIIIIE!!!!! and Meh. When I first heard a hurricane was brewing in the east, I thought "Sucks to be you Florida. Again." Strangely enough, Irene didn't have a score to settle with The Sunshine State. It had its sights set on the colonies. (I suspect MI6 had a hand in this, but I have no proof.)

I seriously think an Ark was needed this weekend.

Here in TX, we could hardly identify a basement, much less a sump pump. Flooding underground rooms are not something I would have considered a few years ago. Suzspetals and I were talking about how much our lives have changed since we found online friends. (ADULT online friends, Chris Hansen.) Now we have all of these new people to worry about and fret over. I wouldn't trade it for the world though. Be safe, everyone.

I have honestly never done any of the things in the left column. The right column, however...

I know many of you had damage — some serious — and a lot of you are without power, but I think everyone in our extended Twitarded family here is safe. I am currently without internet services because, you know, a hurricane hit THREE THOUSAND MILES AWAY. I hope I can post this before Hurricane Jethro hits.

Your tax dollars paid for this.

I thought we could use a little bit of levity, so I made a list of activities for all of you with a death grip on your smart phones because they are your only link to the outside world right now. We've all been there, sitting in our car, charging the phone and hanging onto sanity by a thread. It sucks.

Things to do without power:
1. Wonder how much longer until the power comes back on.
2. Calculate how much money you spent on the food rotting in the fridge.
3. Start calling everyone in your contact list to see if any of them have power.
4. Braid your own hair.
5. Wish you bought more candles.
6. Wish you hadn't bought such a random assortment of scented candles.
7. Wonder how long it will take before you can get the vanilla bean-pumpkin spice-freesia-sugar cookie-lemon scent combination out of your house.
8. Hope the power is restored immediately to every area except your office.
9. Wonder how much longer until the power comes back on.

This is me after 2.4 seconds without electricity.

10. Start collecting items you can barter with just in case the power never comes back on and a propane hotplate is the new currency.
11. Try to remember how to play solitaire with actual cards.
12. Wonder how much longer until the power comes back on.
13. Finish reading that really boring book you started two years ago.
14. Play Pictionary and yell at your family for not knowing the difference between a horse and spaceship.
15. Wonder how much longer until the power comes back on.

Grab your flashlights with dying batteries and join me in the comments. Were you affected by the storm? Most importantly, are you all right? If you don't have power, what have you been doing to pass the time?


  1. roflmao *snort*

    Thankfully, I live in Kansas, so this didn't affect me. :D I hope everyone around is ok!

  2. "vanilla bean-pumpkin spice-freesia-sugar cookie-lemon scent combination"

    That made me laugh out loud. In my neighborhood in FL on the 19th we had a power outage for about two hours. I came home from school clothes shopping and lit all my candles, that was pretty much the smell in the house. After an hour my head was spinning.

    Blergh. I

    A reminder, that I need to buy unscented candles for power outages or hurricanes. Hurricanes can suck, I moved to FL just before Charlie and others stormed through.

    I hope all are safe on the east coast.

  3. I am visiting Nashua, NH from Germany at the moment. Slipped into Boston yesterday in the evening before no more planes were allowed to land. Pew!
    This morning in the hotel room, lights in the bathroom did not work as well as AC. Funny enough , the light by the bed five steps from the bathroom was doing well. Only in the US one side of the room has electricity the other not not much. So I wanted to charge my I phone. It did not work. PANIC!!!!!!!!!!! Running around the room trying all outlets. NOTHING! MORE PANIC. Can- not-live-without-phone-syndrom sets in: hair pulling, sniffling, sweating. ( no AC remember). I looked up the nearest Apple Store on my ebook fully prepared to brave Irene and get a new adapter or new phone. 15 minutes later the bathroom lights come on and I hear the familiar bling of a phone charging . THE SWEETEST MUSIC EVER.
    I then left to my friends house for an amazing lobster lunch and spent the day vegging on the couch.

    My "problems" more than pale in comparsion to all of yours. Hope everyone is safe and sound with no damages to their homes and lives.

  4. That list is so ridiculously accurate it isn't funny. Considering that I'd been without power for a good portion of the past 24 hours, I can honestly say that I really wished I had more candles and I really REALLY wished they were all unscented because... blech.

    We had a flooding underground room but no sump pump. Which means the water must be removed manually. As in, buckets and stuff. For hours. And hours and hours and hours.

    And thankfully, French Press works without electricity. Unless you need to grind the beans. Then you're fucked.

  5. Glad to see everyone survived, except I had hoped that Irene might have taken out JJ, once and for all. Fuck the weather channel for all around failure on that count.

    Hurricane Ike took out our power for 19 days over 2 years ago. Try and live in darn Texas without a/c for 19 days and it isn't pretty. In fact I did what I do best, I got on a plane and left for another holiday.

    And before I go, isn't it funny that whenever your power goes out, you continue to go into rooms and turn on the light switches anyway? Weird creatures of habit we are.


  6. My sympathy to anyone on the east coast who took a beating from Irene. I guess the flooding and power outages are the bitch to reckon with now.

    We took a camping vacation to Ocean City & Virgina beach and were forced to evacuate Friday morning. Just a typical storm in OC last Sunday night ripped the awning off our camper :(

    On the ocean in VB on Thursday and the red flags were flying on the beach. Waves were insane, not for weak swimmers like me. Irene hadn't even showed up yet.

    The lesson this Michigander learned about hurricane evacuations - it's good to get out before the storm but it's even better to get out before everyone else. Don't think we hit 55 mph til we were well into PA.

    Home sweet home.

  7. Thankfully I'm at the opposited end of an eastern state. It takes us 8 hours to get to the beacheds of NC and only 45 minutes to get to TN.

    Hope everyone is surviving.

  8. @Likeitlemony - shoulda called me, we could have watched Twilight together.

    I live in Virginia Beach, about 7 miles from the ocean front. Thankfully my neighborhood neither floods nor loses power during hurricanes, nor'easters, etc...
    But it was a LONG, long, long, long, long, (did I mention long?) storm. I learned that it is NOT fun to be stuck indoors with a 5 year old during a hurricane. He had fun, my husband & I, not so much.
    I'm also pretty sure I gained about 10 lbs during the storm. Something about potential death makes me want to eat everything in sight.
    So, other than losing some siding from our house and some sanity, we are all fine.
    Thanks for caring :)

  9. Mr. Snarky and I were a little from column A and a little from column B -

    Watched the weather channel.

    Went and bought vodka.

    Watched the weather channel some more.

    Went and bought more vodka.

    [true story.]

    Hope everyone is in the clear - especially LKW up there in Maine! Where my entire family is right now... Gah!

  10. @Alleykitty - well THIS is a fine time for a visit - lol!

    @Cazza - I have a light out in my closet (must unbury the floor of shoes before I can change the bulb on the ceiling) and I flip the switch EVERY SINGLE TIME I open the closet door. It's weird! You'd think I would have learned but nooooo...

  11. The candles bit cracked me up. And then a thought occurred to me, I'm anti-candle and I would be screwed.

    Here in The Lou' we lost power for 8 sweltering July days a few summers ago. We slept outside and I gave the kiddos baths in the pool.

    I hope everyone is relieved of the boredom soon. Oh, and that everyone seething this asstard's penis on the weather channel:

    P.S. I don't have cable, so I'm missing the mothalovin VMAs. I might fake Irene victim tomorrow at work to avoid looking lame(r).

  12. Seething? *sees this (you don't have to be seething to scope a dork's dork)

  13. I was home all alone. The sump pump was making a squealing noise and there was a wall o' water coming off my roof just two feet outside my door. All the tornado warnings were starting to get to me, so I just turned the TV off and went to bed.

    When I stepped out onto my deck this morning and saw all the trees were still pointing up to the sky, I thought I was golden. My sump pump wasn't even running and the clocks weren't flashing.

    Then I walked around the house to get the newspaper and noticed a giant tree limb from one of my trees was on my neighbor's truck! O.o.

    That's when I decided to go back inside and hide. No need to walk all the way around the house. I can't afford to fix anything if there's damage.

    I was sorry the hear last night that a tree fell on Mrs.TheKing's house. Glad everyone is OK.

  14. @Sabrina - dang, if only I had known! It would be flippin awesome to watch Twilight with a fellow junkie.

    It's probably for the best that we had to cut the vacation short, we were hitting Yo-tini's pretty hard. It could easily make me obese and bankrupt simultaneously.

    I'm glad that you escaped relatively unscathed from the ordeal. Five year olds can be pretty scary when in captivity.

  15. We live in Jersey City in a condo that's half glass. And because timing has never been my thing, my mother-in-law is here on a visit. I told hubby that I was not riding out a hurricane in 950 square feet with 2 small children and a MIL. So I booked a hotel room in the Poconos and we took off!
    The hotel was kind of on the crappy side, but they kept the indoor pool open even when the power went out. Plus, they had coffee in these giant carafes that never got cold!
    It wasn't exactly a vacation, but it was better than murdering family members. Our city is pretty beat up and flooded, but we are fortunate that our place is fine.

  16. "Wonder how long it will take before you can get the vanilla bean-pumpkin spice-freesia-sugar cookie-lemon scent combination out of your house. " I would sit in the dark for days instead of torturing myself with this. Urg

    I and my house are fine. My Mom however has been without power since Sunday at 5am AND her phone is not working so I am freaking out a little bit. I called a friend/neighbor of hers last night and she will check on her today. I do not like not being able to talk to my Mommy.

    I hope everyone else has fared well. I was pretty nervous for everyone and I have been saying since the beginning that now I have to care about alot more on the news because now I know people all over the world. Hugs all around.

  17. Glad to hear everyone weathered the storm. Being on the other coast I wasn't affected.

    But we do loose power regularily and I bought a shit load of christmas sented candles with the thought I'd give them to family and never did, so in a power outage my house would end up smelling like pine/pumpkin spice/peppermint... Yum NOT

  18. OH MAN! Hurricanes & tornadoes (tornados???) scare me. I am happy to be waaaaaaay over here in WA. I hope everyone is doing okay over there.

  19. The worst part for me was keeping the kids from turning my hair grey!
    Got electric back last night woohoo!

  20. I am from NY, and I did exactly that there on the list. I was out at the bar until around midnight or so Saturday night. I only left because my mom called (I'm 30 and still live at home) and was worried because it was getting "tropical stormy out there." Also the hurricane was so weak that I slept through it and have had power the entire time. Doesn't help that I go to my friends house to hang out in the dark because he had a power outage...silly me!

  21. Fuck me! That dog pic nearly made me pee my panties! :-D

    Awesome post - as always TK. I particularly like the list of things to do when the power is out. I am surprised, however, that 'a little bit of action' (you know the kind - don't tell me you don't) didn't appear on the list. Hmmmmm.

    I wasn't affected by Irene, cuz I live on a little island on the other side of the Atlantic. We don't often have extreme weather here, despite the fact that it's our favourite topic of conversation (weather, that is. Not 'extreme' weather). But I certainly hope that those of you who were affected are able to get your lives back in order quickly. Watching the news coverage has been heartbreaking :-(

    Good luck to you all.

    CC x

  22. Some people got it pretty bad. Maine however was prepared but then nothing really happened...well here is pretty much what happened to Miane. Yup...he is a true Mainah yuh yuh.

  23. That youtube clip is funny! Not taking away from the real hardship that some have suffered of course.

  24. Has anyone heard from Myg, ASaville and the Myglets? Hoping they are all okay.

  25. We had no power (in MA) for 31 hours. I actually kinda like losing power. It puts an end to my family sitting on the couch staring at the TV like a bunch of zombies. Call me a dweeb, but I read, crocheted a scarf, hung laundry out to dry, and of course played games. I think I would have liked living before electricity, except I couldn't survive without hot showers and internet access.

  26. That list is hysterical TK. I never buy scented candles and now I know why. I hope everyone is safe and I am glad to hear JJ didn't trip down her basement steps while bailing out water. xo

  27. Hello TexasKatherine,
    Thank you very much.I like this information.

    Party Bucket with Longhorn


Comments are our life now. Leave one!