Friday, September 30, 2011

Let's Talk About Us

I was going to post something really lame and boring tonight (like most of my other posts), but I had another thought after the Twilight watch-along last night. I had too much fun seeing everyone else's commentary on Twitter. As Edward would say, "I'd like to hear your theories."

Snarkier Than You did a post a while back on 25 random STY facts. I am not nearly diligent enough to come up with 25 things, but I thought it would be fun if we shared a few obscure things about ourselves.

1. I once argued with a bakery employee for 25 minutes to get her to honor my free dessert coupon. I didn't even want the dessert. It was just the principle.

 I would make this cake if I was actually sorry.

2. I love college football and hockey, but I can't play any sports. Any. I even got injured playing badminton in high school.

3. I was banned from a Stuckey's somewhere in Georgia when I was 18. I simply wanted to use their bathroom, but the cashier had an attitude about it. Long story short — there was an incident.

 This is my First Beach. "TK doesn't come here."

4. I almost didn't get to go on my honeymoon because our travel agent was apparently mistaken about not needing a passport to visit Canada. My driver's license was not sufficient proof of residency, but somehow my library card was. Either that, or the lady at the ticket counter just wanted me to stop saying things like "What do you mean Canada has laws? It's not even a real country." before I started a riot.

5. I love learning foreign languages, but my accents are horrible. I've taught myself a fair amount French, Italian and Latin. I knew some Slovanic at one point, but I've forgotten most of it. My pronunciation attempts at any language could start an international incident.

C'est des conneries!

Enough about me. Let's talk about you. Share a few random tidbits about yourselves in the comments.


  1. I love MLB and the NFL but I suck at sports. I was hurt playing stick ball in high school. Why we were playing stick ball instead of learning Earth Science I'll never know. Maybe we were supposed to be learning the stick? I was also injured in high school in the green house. Edward didn't have me nearly trip talking about googling. A boy (named Izzy; I wish I was joking about that) chased me with a worm and I tripped over a wheelbarrow. That led to my first concussion.

    I know enough Spanish to get me a bed, a beer and a bathroom. I'm ready for my trip to Mexico!

    I fought with a cashier at Walgreens for not letting my friend buy her kid a Halloween costume that was missing the mask. She was going to paint his face instead, so why couldn't she have the damn thing? It was ugly. We ended up going to a grocery store and buying a costume WITHOUT the mask bc it was missing, and you know what they gave us a discount so that bitch can suck it!

    Maybe I should make that grumpy bitch cake. But I'm not sorry about my grumpy bitchiness, I embrace it.

  2. Gosh. I'm not in Forks. I've got nothing better to do... how timely that this post comes along. Thanks TK!

    I wrote a '25 things' post a while back:

    So, lets see if I can come up with something different...

    1. I MET JACKSON RATHBONE. Yes I did. Highlight! I touched him too. Mmmm.

    2. I want to marry a sparkly vampire. Or the captain of NZ's rugby team, the All Blacks. Both of these are realistic, right?

    3. There are five boys staying in my 2br house right now. They smell.

    4. I just finished Fifty Shades Darker and now I can't wait for part three... which is random since of course I already know what's going to happen...

    5. I just Skyped with a bunch of Twitards in Forks, with my BFF SparklyJul. Gus filmed some of our chat... will we make it into a Twitards in Forks video clip?

    Love you TK, you're doing a great job of holding the fort here. :-)

  3. 1. I chew the inside of my cheeks when I'm nervous. I just can't stop.
    2. I've said "I love you" to my dog more times in 5 years than my parents have to me in my (nearly 30) years.
    3. Going along w/ the sports theme, I watching baseball and football - for about 1 hour and then I lose interest and go online/read. The only sport I was ever qualified in was swimming in H.S. I made it on varsity for the breast stroke even though my coach said my form was all wrong. Oh well, I was fast.
    4. I have been married 5+ years and have been trying to get preggers for 2(+). Recently we saw a Reproductive Endocrinologist who spent a majority of our 2 hour initial consult crying - no seriously weeping - over the death of his mentor. And then charged me nearly $400. Wait, if I was his therapist don't I get paid?
    5. I only got into Twilight because of my mom who went to a bookstore to buy me the last Harry Potter book for Christmas one year and was persuaded by the salesperson to buy Twilight for me too. I officially love the Barnes & Noble employee more than my mom.

  4. 1. I've never commented on any Twitarded post and I've been reading them for a long ass time.

    2. I'm currently pregnant with my second child. My parents have all grandsons and this will be the first granddaughter. I blame my pregnancy on too much fanfiction but I'm okay with that.... And so is my husband.

    3. I went to FOOORKS last year and am very sad not to be there this year. It's nice to see all the pictures and activity on twitter though.

    4. I have an addictive personality when it comes to HBO. I'd shank a bitch to get the new season of Game of Thrones early.

    5. My work husband and I secretly nickname everyone we hate at work so that it's easier to trash talk them without anyone knowing. Our names are ridiculous and make me giggle just thinking about it.

    There you have it! Sorry I missed the movie last night. I'm pretty lame these days and went to bed. Enjoyed your commentary this morning!

  5. 1. I broke my foot playing hopscotch in 5th grade-no kidding!
    2. I don't know how to Twitter-so I could not join in movie nite :(
    I fail Techie 101! Do I have to have a phone/know how to text to use twitter?
    3. Twilight is why I figured out itunes & got an ipod so I could upload songs from all my fave youtube vids of the Precious! (I wear earbuds to bed & listen to it all nite-sweet dreams indeed!)
    4. Twitarded was the first blog I ever read. First post I read was JJ's batshit & I laughed til I peed! Then had to figure out how to join/follow/whatevs so I could comment on stuff! AND I read EVERY post in the archives-took 2 wks! I'm crazy about u guys now, really!(But not stalker scary crazy...
    more like u-saved-my-sanity-after-I-became-twitarded-crazy,coz now I'm not alone out here anymore...
    um, thanks?)
    5. OK, here's the biggie - I just found out my sister's sister-in-law works with Anna Kendrick's mom; SERIOUSLY???? & my sis didn't tell me this WHY??!! coz sis is obviously NOT twitarded like me or I would have known about this MUCH SOONER!!!!! GAHH! I've started a whining/begging/pleading/crying campaign for autographs-I either get them or, well, something horrible...just kidding...kind of...LKW's freezer maybe??) Also, my son graduated from same HS as Anna (I did know this tho).
    6. Oh, and I have a decal of Edward's gorgeous profile (thanks, ebay) on my steering wheel! He keeps me happy while driving(it's better this way for everyone, trust me!!) If I knew how, I could twitter a photo of it...I fail again!

    really happy I found you all!

  6. 1.I tuck my camisole into my boy shorts and call it my super-suit, and that's what I wear to bed every night.

    2. My mom wouldn't let me play sports as a kid because I had asthma, but would smoke 3 packs a day in the house. I'm really love to play anything now, but don't like to watch.

    3. I'm really bad with names, so I make up things to call people; lemon square,sugar plum, I call all the babies I see peanut or sport. I call this one woman 'I hate yer fucking face' and it's only a matter of time until I slip and say it to her.

    4. There is someone out there that owns a website with my same first and last name . com and she is the lamest person to have ever owned a website and I hate her for besmirching the awesomeness of our name. And I may (I do) send her passive aggressive emails criticizing her website and bemoaning her refusal to sell me the domain just so people didn't think that shit was me.

    5. She isn't the only person that gets mail from me. I recently broke up with McDonald's via a two page letter I hand delivered. Let's just say a bad chicken sandwich was our lap dance and leave it at that.

    6. My wedding anniversary was 9-10-11 this year and happened to also be our 12th...Am I the only one that thinks it's fuckawesome that it was 9-10-11-12.

    7. I love making up song lyrics using kid song melodies and singing them at random. Like when I worked as an auto claim investigator I used to sing "Your car is a total loss, total loss" to the tune of "Mary had a Little Lamb" There are too many, and I seem to crack myself up weekly with them.

  7. 1. I broke my wrist playing flag football in high schools, junior girls vs. senior girls. The bitch who plowed into me was actually on my team, but in the melee no one realized it. She hated me, I hated her, she won.

    2. My husband asked me tonight why he feels like he has two kids - me and our son. I didn't know whether to be offended or incredibly proud.

    3. I'm convinced my SIL is a distant cousin of Satan. I'll leave it at that.

    4. My MIL still doesn't know I write paranormal romance books. And I have no desire to tell her.

    5. I didn't really like True Blood this season except for the epic episode when we got to see Joe Manganiello naked. Oh hell yes.

    6.I once chased a woman out of the bathroom at Lake Tahoe with something I said, but couldn't remember what I said the next day because I was so drunk when it happened. My friends assured me no matter what it was, based on the womans face, it was a classic.

  8. 1. I have never been on a plane. (scaredy-cat - I guess I'll have to drive to Forks someday - from NJ!!)

    2. I am claustrophobic - I don't do elevators

    3. I can read a book while walking up the stairs at work (10 floors) without tripping. (see #2)

    4. I have read the Twilight series only ONCE. On the other hand, I have watched the movies a gazillion times.

    5. I have 13 tattoos.

    And yes TK, you are doing an amazing job keeping us entertained.

  9. 1. I live 3 hours from Forks and am not there. Sorta sad about that, but I somehow have bigger priorities once in a while, and this weekend is one of them.
    2. Love hockey, but can't skate worth a damn!
    3. I think that Edward would be the epitome of abusive boyfriend if he were a real human.
    4. Oh, and waiting until 00:01 tonight/tomorrow morning to get BD tix.
    5. I am the parent of a f-m transgender teenager.
    6. Oh, and I get paid to be a vampire, but I use needles to take your blood. :D

  10. 1. I am a breast cancer survivor at the age of 25!
    2. I have had a boyfriend named Edward, and another named Rob! Neither were anything like the lovely men of our dreams.
    3. I hate Breaking Dawn.
    4. I have four children, 4 years and under.
    5. I went to culinary school and cotton candy is still my favorite food in the world.

  11. 1. I hold the record for most embarrassing injuries ever. Some of these include getting five stitches on my knee after falling on some stairs, fracturing a big toe after a desk fell on it (long story), and bruising my tailbone after attempting to do a flip on the monkey bars.
    2. I once managed to scare the staff of the Literature department at my university. Long story short, I had applied to be a lit major, and they screwed up my application. Because of the screw up, I couldn't enroll in the classes I needed to take. When I found out, to say that I was pissed out be an understatement.
    3. Even though I don't plan on working as a make up artist, I love messing around with liquid latex and prosthetics. I have always fantasized about coming to class or walking into a Starbucks with a really nasty, bloody wound on my face and seeing their reactions.
    4. I've met both Jackson Rathbone and Stephenie Meyer (though on seperate occassions... I met Stephenie at a book signing and Jackson when 100 Monkeys was performing in Santa Cruz a few years back). They were both really awesome.
    5. I'm an Anglosexual, which for those who are English impaired, means that if any guy wants to bang me, he has to be British (I'm also open to dating Welsh, Irish, Scottish, German, New Zealand, Australian, and Spanish dudes).

  12. I'm not sure anyone wants to know this, but you asked:

    --I have two tatts; I want more and a piercing or two *smirks****
    --I have a beautiful wonderful dog who is almost 14 and I'm really afraid this may be her last winter w snow and ice etc. I'll be lost w/out her.
    --I broke my toe a few yrs back walking down the middle of the street. I was very drunk, and leopard heels were involved.
    --I fucking love tacos.
    --Edward, fuck Jacob he looks like a stroke victim.
    --I have always been complimented on my martinis. That is not innuendo.
    --girl crush on the Stew, she's fuckhawt, too bad I like dick.
    --I have five pillows on my bed. A regular when I was bartending once told me you could tell a lot about a woman by how many pillows she had on her bed, but he never told me what my number meant...
    --I love architecture. I like historic architecture more than most people.
    --I want to change the world, one building at a time.
    --I like hockey and Am football, but play nothing.
    --I'm lazy.
    --I'm in school, again.
    --I'm in debt. (see above)
    --I love shoes, they stay the same size, even when I do not.
    --I love music, I think mine to be an eclectic mix.
    --I have three best friends I would do anything for. THAT is love and luck!
    --no kids, never been married, early 30s
    --Cccurly long hair.
    --I love the West Wing and SATC
    --I like bad fried food, like from gas stations or grocery store delis. I also like tortilla chips in my ham sandwiches, condensed cream of chix soup straight out of the can, and all Mexican food but mostly queso dip--GD it's the best! Oh, did I say tacos? Bears repeating
    --I would be eternally happy if it was 65 degrees and cloudy/sunny all the time---I love sweaters and mittens et al. I love the snow too. I love to take a walk after the snow and be the first person to make footprints!
    --I want to learn several more languages, read the looong list of classics I haven't yet, get a dark room and real camera for photog hobby wish
    --I haven't had sex (ahem, w someone else) in an epically long time. Most dudes just don't seem worth it anymore... They mostly seem freakishly lame
    --I drunk text, email, review, and tweet--it's getting to be a problem
    --I've read all Twi books mult times, and have read a fuckton of fic; I'm overthetop addicted
    --I've sworn to go to FORKS next year; I live too too close not to and it will be the last one before the last movie!
    --I'm boring you...

  13. I love reading everyone's answers!

  14. I,m a 33 year old mum of 3 boys, 2 of which are Autistic. I love to read, write, take pictures and do anything that requires the right side of my brain. My left side is completely turned off. Give me a math problem and see my eyes glaze over. I, too, hurt myself playing badminton; I dislocated my kneecap. Then I did it again cartwheeling, then again running to home-plate during a kickball game, then again when I was on a date. I freaked the guy out! LOL! So, yeah... there's a bad history with me and sports.

  15. These are way more interesting than the three books some dude at work loaned me to read, this weekend. Cheers, sweeties, thanks a lot.

    I did stand-up comedy in college in front of the whole student body because I had a crush on the guy who thought I was funny enough to do it. Urgh.

    I once farted when I went to hit a high note, during a French Horn lesson. My teacher and I couldn't recover after that and ended up making cookies instead.

    Still use my fingers to do subtraction and addition, especially when the sums involve 7 plus 4.

    I have touched Chris Isaak.

    Being someone's stepmother still scares me at times, even tho I've been at it for 12 years.

    We are all due to fracture two bones in our lifetimes, and I thank everyone who has made up for my shortfall (I'm 50% there). I work in the orthopaedic field.

    The words "swatch" and " moist " drive me bonkers.

    I can't remember how I tripped over Twitarded, but I can remember feeling relieved to find likeminded souls.

    I always cry when I hear "Southern Cross" by Crosby Stills Nash, because it reminds me of sailing with my dad.

    Supercaloric New England Clam Chowder is the only food I can make without screwing it up. The secret is expensive bacon and heavy cream.

  16. TK darlin, you are NEVER lame or boring. These posts are always fun cause they expose our quirkiness and our strength. I am kinda disappointed though that your cohorts are not doing any drunken posts from Forks. That would be hilarious. Now we'll just get a post of whatever they remember from their drunken haze. Not as much fun.

    The only Twi stars I would care to meet in person are Rob, Taylor, Kellen & Peter.

    I think Twilight was the best movie so far because Catherine Hardwick had the hots for Rob and made sure he looked good in every scene. The rest were directed by guys who were obviously jealous of Rob's appeal.

    There is one cashier at my grocery store that is soooooo annoying, I will wait in a line that is 3x longer than go in her lane.

    I think that people who hate based on race, religion, or sexual orientation are extremely ugly and I wonder what it would take to put empathy into their heart.

    I'm tired of people who never have anything positive to say. We all haves our gripes now and then but some people just do nothing but complain. STFU

    I speak just enough Deutsch to sound like a German toddler.

    Love, love, love cool sunny Fall days in Michigan! The leaves are turning color, the cider mill down the street is cranking out cider and donuts, their apples are awesome. Gonna go for a hayride and pick some apples with my wonderful daughter today.

  17. 1. I cook a mean apple pie, like the kind that makes people weep with joy. Totally homemade, including the crust, and it is a-freaking-mazing. My pumpkin pie isn't bad either, but it's just the America's Test Kitchen pumpkin pie with my own homemade crust recipe.

    2. I own a horse and ride regularly. My horse is awesome.

    3. I'm a slob at home. We're talking HUGE slob. But nobody at work would ever believe that because I'm majorly Type A and very good at my job, and I make the house spotless for parties and guests.

    4. I dated and fell in love with an "Edward" in college. He pulled a New Moon, and I reacted about as well as Bella did. Ten years later I have a happy marriage with "Jacob". Sadly, I think it's been a psychological upgrade to obsess over a fictional Edward Cullen instead of dreaming of the "real" Edward who's never coming back.

    5. I took Arabic language courses in college, hoping to work for the US Foreign Service after 9/11. I decided to go into a totally different job field, but Arabic is a beautiful language and I'm glad I studied it. I can still say "I studied Arabic at _____ University" and maybe order some falafel from a street vendor.

    6. I'm very, very frugal. I make my own homemade laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent, I make a lot of food from scratch, I do home canning and preserving, and I use this system called The Grocery Game to maximize my coupon savings at the grocery store (Google it if you're interested). I suppose this would be normal if I were 70 years old, but I'm 29. I save a lot of money, which helps me support my horse since DH and I are not rich.

    7. I'm in a line of work where being a Twihard could ruin my street cred. That's why I'm so far in the Twi-closet. All of my Twilight books and fanfics are on my Kindle (so that nobody can tell that that's what I'm reading) and I'm enough of a computer geek to know how to hide my Edward photo collection, etc. Making the @TwiJenster Twitter profile for Movie Night with Texas Katherine is about as bold as I've ever gotten with my Twitardedness.

    I think that's enough TMI for now...

  18. 1. I love Twitarded more than Twilight. I've been totally addicted since I googled a review of New Moon and read "Jasper goes apeshit over the papercut - Dudes. Edward totally didn't need to fucking clothesline Bella"

    2. My 5 week old daughter may or may not be a direct result of my seeing Jackson Rathbone in The Last Airbender.

    3. I hate my MIL half the time, the other half I love her the way you love and would protect the mentally handicapped.

    4. I'm from Texas and my ILs are the kind of Republicans that make Republicans look bad, because they're close minded to the point that everything they say is utterly absurd. You'd think they were kidding, but no. They would sh** a brick if they found out I would cut my arms off myself with a butter knife before I voted for Rick Perry. Luckily my husband does not share their views.

    5. No one knows that when they laugh at "my" jokes they are laughing at Twitarded's jokes. My husband has been unwittingly using the word "twatwaffle" for months. He has no idea I got it from a Twilight blog or that that's the reason I'm laughing; not just because it's a funny word.

  19. I'm too tired to list, you all know so much about me already!!

    @TwiKiwi- um, can you clarify #3 please?

    @Robbie- are you in Maine? I know Anna Kendrick is from here...

    I really enjoyed reading all these comments. Too much fun!

  20. @LKW - I host orgies on a regular basis. A good little money earner on the side.

    I kid, I kid. The Rugby World Cup is on right now and they are friends of the family here from England. 5 x 22-23 year old boys. 2 bedroom house. Not comfortable for me. But they have so far cooked for me, shared their beers and bought me wine, so I'm ok with it. They have gone now but will be back for two subsequent weekends over the next month.

  21. @LKW...yes, I'm from Portland-I think I waved at your plane taking off for Forks...(kidding-but I totally would have if I knew which one it was!)

    Anna graduated from Deering High (just down the street from my house)=cool, huh? My sis's sister-in-law was Anna's mom's supervisor (are you able to follow this at all? it still confuses me) and had a staff party last year at her house and Anna came with her mom...again, may I repeat, Sis is a...a...(may I borrow the creative cursing book here?) for NOT getting ME an invite...she owes me big-I better get those autographs (I may need a meathook or 2) and I'm forcing her to attend the midnite showing, (if the local Cinemagic isn't too lame to host one), of BD1 with me and my Edward blankie (& mini Edward too, of course).

    So, I'm like, 2 people away from knowing the Precious (I know Kelly who knows Janet, Anna's mom, who not only knows but was LICKED by that purty pink tongue!) Wow....*faints* can't think about his tongue...just, oh!

  22. I laughed a lot with the survey in the graph. So funny.


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