I am constantly aware of how much I am
The idea of the next Twitard generation really hit home when he returned from school with this:
That's right. My kid is going to play the bass guitar. ZOMG he's the future ML! (I will now pray nightly that he ends up with someone who eats less fiber than Jenny Jerkface.) I'm trying not to focus on the why-does-my-kid-have-to-play-an-instrument-that-connects-to-an-amplifier part and just appreciate his interest in music. At least he didn't take up the drums, right? He hasn't started lessons yet, but I'm certain he will have a record deal within the year. (They still call them records, right? Has anyone seen my Geritol?) I can't wait to go on tour with him. I am going to be the coolest elderly groupie / tour mom ever. I'll cut the crust off all the band members' sandwiches and make smiley face pancakes for breakfast. I've always wanted to crowd surf, but I don't like people touching me. I might have to work on that. I'll probably also have to build up a tolerance for Mad Dog 20/20. I doubt the kids are drinking Gran Patrón Burdeos.
I just hope the bus looks less like this...
and more like this. I'm going to need my own room.
We're going to have the coolest time ever. He can get a tattoo that says Mom with a heart around it. I can get a tattoo that says Me with a heart around it. It's going to be awesome. I hope his life shadows that of Roadside Graves'.
Er, maybe not exactly.
Who else wants to go on tour with us? I'll buy the road trip food. You're all on your own for booze — I know how much you people drink and I'm not made of tequila. Ok, I'm not made entirely of tequila. There's some vodka in there too.