Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sharing is Caring. We Won't Use it Against You. Promise. Maybe.

It seems like only yesterday that our little excursion to Foooorks was really, really far away. I figured I would have plenty of time to hash out the little details, like digging through thousands of emails to try to find my flight confirmation because I was too fucking lazy to mark it as important when I booked it or to try to find another suitcase since, based on last year's experience, I have gone from a backpack-traveling kinda gal to a throw-in-everything-but-ML-and-the-kitchen-sink kinda gal.

This was totally how I used to travel.

That's Snarkier Than You's fault. What a bitch. 

Anyway, we now have less than a week before we descend upon the little town of Forks and completely ruin them and it's suddenly occurred to me that I have a ton of shit I need to do.

Only problem is, I'm too fucking excited about seeing/meeting everyone to bother packing my shit.

Wait. That came out wrong.

One of the best things about last year's trip was not just how amazing everyone was, but how different we all were yet still got along famously. Seriously, if Twitards ran the world this place would literally be full of puppies and rainbows. Or kittens and rainbows, if you're allergic to dogs. Or other fluffy things if animals ain't your thang.

And of course, RPattz's smoldering good looks would be plastered from here to fucking Bangladesh. Naturally.

It was really great getting to know everybody last year and I'm sure that there are many of you out there who are a little apprehensive about the whole meet and greet thing. As STY said in her post yesterday (and I'm paraphrasing here) "you have nothing to fear but fear itself. And possibly cirrhosis."

 Does THIS look scary to you???

That being said, I figured it would be nice if maybe everybody could share something about themselves in the comments on this post - a pre-introduction of sorts, if you will. We know how naughty and lovely and caring all you ladies are. But give us a little more! Are you an only child? Do you have ten daughters? Do you fly aircraft to Mars for a living (if so, TK wants your number. I think her home planet is somewhere near there).

Just don't tell people oatmeal makes you hurl because those assholes will never, ever let you forget it. 

Now that I've divulged my texture issues (again, siiiigh), I'll throw out a few more things about myself that you may not know.

1) I hate Seinfeld. I just don't get it. And coming from the tri-state area, this is a nearly unforgivable sin. I would sit there and watch it with people and they'd be rolling on the floor laughing and all I could think was, "these people are bunch of asstards." I was told I had no sense of humor.

2) I love to pop pimples. Not on anyone else, because that would make me barf, but I have no problem doing invasive at-home-surgery on my body. And I literally mean "heating up a sewing needle with a lighter and poking at my flesh until it bleeds because gahd-dammit-that-zit-needs-to-go." It's amazing I haven't given myself a massive infection.

3) I feel compelled to make faces every time someone tries to take a picture of me. It's like my brain won't let me just fucking smile like a normal person.

4) I am terrible, awful, atrocious at remembering faces/names. It's really embarrassing. I remember walking down the street outside my office and this stranger was waving at me and smiling. I totally gave her the stink eye. It wasn't until I saw her back in the office did I realize that I've worked with her for nearly five years and we're actually pretty friendly. I had just never seen her outside the office before and couldn't place her.

So, who's next? And just for the record, you don't have to be going to Forks to leave a comment. We want to hear from all of you. Hell, I wish all of you could come!

But I fear Forks would definitely NEVER recover from that.


  1. *Waves*
    You can call me "Muff" or by my RL name "Misty" or (if I know you) "bitch".
    I'm a wife, a mom, a semi-alcoholic, a software developer, a (never updating) blogger, a runner, a bunch of shit.
    I swear to much, I love to much, I do most things in excess.
    I'm coming to Forks with my bestest homie @fatgirlslimmed and my booze!
    I'm so fucking excited I could piss myself!!!!!!!

  2. Aaaaaahhh!!! I am so glad I'm not the only one that hasn't gotten her shit together. It's coming. Just not as thoroughly as I'd like.
    I'm bad with names too and haven't been as close to everyone as some on twitter, so go follow me bitches. RTFN :o)

    I have four (kinda) kids. Eldest is a sophomore in college, Middle and Step-Girl are in high school, and Little Man is almost 9.
    Hubs is SO over this Twilight shit, and I'm gonna catch it big time when he sees the Mini E collection that arrived on my doorstep today. Squee!

    I have been working way too hard this year, and I need this trip SO much! I can't wait to visit the land o sparklepeen and take in the beautiful sights of the PNW.

    My only real worry is my body (back issues) keeping up with everything that my brain and heart want to do. Okay, the other one is that they will lose my luggage between ATL & SEA, forcing me to wear the same clothes all weekend. You guys would still hug me, right?

  3. I'm not going THIS year AGAIN, but here are my four:

    1. I fart. A LOT. On cue.

    2. When I drink a lot I dance. And some of the dancing is good but I will always end up backing up to people like a cat in heat. Wait, come to think of it, I do that sober too.

    3. I LOVE to take pictures. Not so much be in them but I love taking them. Beautiful scenery, silly people and pics of things that would make other people question my sanity.

    4. I really wish I was going with you all to Forks.

  4. Hello All,

    Hmm, what can I say:

    1. I do have the ability to talk a lot when I get nervous or excited or bored. But, you might not know that right off the back because I'm socially delayed and don't do well around strangers unless I've guzzled down a bunch of adult beverages.

    2. I'm not a physical person unless I've guzzled down a bunch of adult beverages. I feel weird touching people and getting touched, so if I look weird or feel weird if you hug me, it's not personal. I'm just weird.

    3. I have a lazy eye. If I haven't been sleeping or a bit nervous it can act up more. I'm uber self-conscious about it so if I stop looking you in the eye when I'm talking to you I'm not lying, I'm not trying to be shady, I'm not looking for an escape from the conversation. I just can feel that the eye is acting up and I'm protecting myself from you bringing it up. If I needed an escape route I have the perfect out. ;)

  5. One of my main objectives is to never publicly connect my real name with my online name. I need to keep my job at least until the Volvo is paid for.

    I'm bringing my daughter. Even if she is sober, she tends to over share, but so far she hasn't outed me.

    I've been going to the chiropractor 4 x per week to try to get my back straightened out before we leave.

    We're thinking about getting Seattle city passes for kicking around the city before & after Forks. Anyone have any advice on that subject?

  6. JJ- We share #1 & 2. I never got Seinfeld, never will. People acted like I was retarded when I said it wasn't my cup of tea. AND I totally perform home surgery on my face if I have to. I WILL NOT deal with a zit. I will end it.

    TJ- One, you didn't appear awkward when I hugged you. Sorry if I'm outing you here. Two, you totally aren't socially delayed, at all. And three, what lazy eye?!

    Love ya!

    As for me...

    Not going to Forks as you know, getting hitched on the 30th. But what can I share that you don't already know...hmm...

    1. I can queefe (sp??) on command. And no, my vagina is not huge

    2. I am very that I give good hugs. If someone isn't comfortable hugging, I don't push them...I respect personal space. But if I feel someone is cool with it, I'm kind of touchy.

    3. At 31, there is still nothing better than spending the night at my parents, waking up & having coffee with them and just generally chilling out. PLUS my Mom definitely treats me as her 1st child ;) It's a plus they live 10 minutes away.

    5. I am RIDICULOUSLY vain when it comes to my hair. RIDICULOUS. If it's not perfect in my eyes...perfect shade of blonde, perfect highlights...I'm NOT happy. It was HORRIBLE in Forks last year. Much better this year. Wish ya could see it lol!

  7. OK. I have an ex-husband (commercial fisherman),a lovely 27 year old daughter (fisheries biologist), 2 cats (both black), I manage websites at a large Pac-12 university located in my home town of Seattle, LOVE LOVE LOVE loud rock music, am addicted to Twi fan fiction, get REAL talky when I'm drinking, I can't remember names - so be sure your name tag is written REAL BIG, and keep avoiding finishing the novel I've been working on forever because being obsessed with Twilight is much more fun than editing.

    And I love inviting total strangers I meet on the internet to stay at my house - as long as they're Twitards. (Yes, Sara and Anna, I'm talking about you!)

  8. @LoriAnnTwiFan and @ TheRugbymom - sounds like we need to have a "bad back support group" meeting while we are in Forks. I'll bring the ice.

    I aggravated mine back in August, but blame the lingering effects on the combined 11 hours spent in the car traveling across state to see Jackson for the second time in 3 days. Do you think the 100 Monkeys have a Fan Compensation Program?

    Not looking forward to the 3 hour drive to Forks. But have ice bag, will travel.

    WV- curize. Is that some form of "To Cure"? may be a good omen

  9. Eden (Defenderofmice)September 22, 2011 at 11:24 PM

    A few things about me, random and by no means exhaustive, as I am on the road to tipsy and picking up speed:

    I am your TMI girl, love to dance, tend to rescue things, have a more often than not inappropriate sense of humour and suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. I don't mind at all getting dirty (& by dirty I mean, like, dirt - mostly), I dither, but I'm practical (mostly).

    I like cheese. Yes, this deserves a separate paragraph.

    I have a hot-as-fuck husband who's been reading some of the FF he's heard me mention in passing, no kids as of yet, a couple of old cats & a rabbit, a job that's boring as hell but allows me to travel to meet all YOU PEOPLE (plus a whole other group of nuts the other side of the Atlantic).

    What I am most right now is looking forward to seeing many of you again, and meeting many of you for the first time. You'll forgive me if I'm drunk/shy/hyper/flirty/hungover...and I'll of course be pleased to see you.

  10. I'm thinking that wearing my back brace through the TSA check point will earn me a body cavity search. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hmmm...

    @kintail I hadn't thought about bringing the ice pack. I'll have to add that to the list. First, I have to start the list. Sigh.

  11. I love learning all this random fun stuff about people. However, I never know what to say when it's my turn. Let's see....

    I'm fairly quiet around people I don't know or don't know well. But when I'm with my homies I get silly and fun. Last year my quietness caused me to not meet so many People or not talk to them long. I'm going to really really try to be more courageous this time around. But also please feel free to come up to me. Please! Lol.

    I have been married for 8 years. Have no kids and plan to keep it that way. I have a dog with a pink Mohawk who I adore. I'm very perturbed about turning 30 next year because I still feel like a teenager. I can not even fathom the age 30. Its like the legend of the Sasquatch to me. I also have the largest known army of mini Edwards known to man. Anyone who breaks into my house is in trouble.

  12. I am SO EXCITED for next week!!!

    Let's see - first, Jen, your hair looked great last year. I wonder what it looks like now, if it's that much better! <3 Miss you (but very happy for you)!

    - *my* hair always looks like crap. There's a Saving Jane song that starts out "My hair's a wreck," it's my theme song. It never does what I want. I hate it.

    - I'm an only child. Or I was. Now I'm an only adult.

    - I have two fuzzy kitties.

    - I need a new job.

    - I have an unhealthy love for television. Especially BAD television. :)

    The rest I will leave for you to discover in Forks. HOORAY!!!

  13. Can't make it this year. Stupid university and it's "show up to class on the first day or else you won't be here for very long" policy".

    But I am willing to divuldge my four facts to my fellow Twitards:
    1. I can do a South African accent when I'm drunk. I have no idea how that came about, but it happens.
    2. My ex-boyfriend is literaly a Mike Newton- chubby, weird speaker, and can't sit through violent horror movies.
    3. In addition to Twilight, I am also obsessed with Harry Potter, Doctor Who, The Hunger Games, and just about anything to do with zombies.
    4. I used to have pink hair, but had to dye it back to boring brown when I had to get a job. But I'll go back to dyeing it one day.

    And final note, is the guy in that picture ML? He looks like my mate Ben!

  14. Hello Ladies...give me a moment to compose myself as I am trying desperately not to run in enthusiastic unladylike circles.

    I'll be making the return journey to Forks with you all... SQUEEEE... and am a wee bit excited about it.

    Here are my 4:

    1. I own and operate a dog training business and an online dog toy shop

    2. Enough people call me Toey on a daily basis that I have just accepted it as one of my given names. And in fact find it odd when my real name is used when speaking to fellow ho0rs.

    3. I may or may not snore a bit..however Forkspimp Twitard has assured me that I was really just moaning out Rob's name in my sleep...bless her.

    4. I used to be an active commenter here on Twitarded. While I may not comment very often anymore, I do read every single post!!

    Looking forward to seeing you all next week!!!

  15. Went to FORKS2010! Had an amazing time! I need to meet more of you this year!

    So, I am going to step out of my comfort zone again & be a roomie--in Seattle & Forks! (waves--Hi roomies!)

    Driving myself across WA state, again.

    I'm giving away free conversations and hugs! Really, come see me.

    We need to have a receiving line, like in a wedding to meet everyone or maybe a circle of friends with intro's--oops that's 12 step. BWAHAHA! FORKS!!!

  16. I flove these...For some of you, it gives me a chance to kind of remember who the fuck you are, and for others, it just gives me a reason to love you before I even see your faces!!

    Let's see...I'm the dancing h00r with the beer in her hand in that pic up there!! (And seriously...I had never met any of those ladies until THAT night. No excuses, no regrets.) That's a freebie. Now onward.

    I am very recently married (12 days!) and am making the drive up to FORKS from Eugene, OR as a three-week anniversary gift to The Bentist. I love him enough to disappear for 4 days with a gaggle of fuckhawt ladies and come back desperate for some man meat.

    I am a sign language interpreter/child care provider for a local NPO that works with at-risk families. I !LOVE! my work 99% of the time.

    I think watermelon is of the devil. Keep that shit AWAY. I do love watermelon flavored things, though. Probably because it doesn't taste like watermelon (so I am told).

    I am touchy, smiley, and friendly. Don't think anyone will like you? Feeling shy? Don't know how to break the invisible barriers with strangers? I got you covered. Cuz I'm gonna jump into your bubble and get you to dance with me. Or at least have a drink. Maybe a lapdance by Paul the Bouncer. ::shakes head in awesome memory shame::

    Oh, and I am totally hoping for karaoke. Cuz that was a fucking BLAST last year.

    VW: fullenst

    Next week, we will live our twi-lives to the fullenst and reminisce for years.

  17. Hmm...I feel like there are a million things I could say but like RugbyMom, I have to keep my job and I"m signed in as me so I have to be good here.

    1. I have dweezil pinky toes.

    2. I am obsessed with sign language (don't actually know it or anything) so i'll be stalking Lindsay Rae much of the weekend.

    3. Married to my high school sweetheart. I was 14. He was 16. Been together for 22 years. CRAZY!

    4. My 2 boys (6 and 9) race dirt I have lots of free weekends because it stresses me out to watch them ride.

    Can't wait to meet you all!!!

  18. @LoriAnn, I'm flying out of ATL too. My flight is Thursday, 11am. How about you?

    @Linsay Rae, the friend coming with me, Heather, knows sign language (she has a daughter that is deaf). The two of you can make fun of me without me knowing. ;-)

    My facts:
    1) In 13 years of marriage this is my first ever girls' trip.
    2) I'm a mother of 3 and married to a Marine helicopter pilot.
    3)I'm a jeans and boots/shorts and sandals type girl with no fashion sense whatsoever.
    4)I don't do well with cold weather. If the temp drops into the 50's you may find me huddled in a corner trying to conserve body heat.

    I didn't make the trip last year and pouted about it all weekend. When Heather and I first started talking about coming it felt like we were just kidding ourselves. Reality is the tickets are bought and reservations made so I'll be seeing you all next week!!!


  19. @TheRugbymom - sad fact of life is that you are not as anonymous as you would hope. A quick Google search on your user name will make you crap your pants, no doubt. I found this out when I googled my real name to see what someone might find out about me if they were so inclined. ***gasp*** #%$!

    It works the same way if you Google your screen name. Some have been smart enough to never use their real name when registering at any of the sites.

    Not going to Forks :(
    Someone please put a lemon in one of the photos so I can feel like I was there with you.

  20. I should list all four of mine as 'mad as hell that I'm to damn poor to go to Forks!,' but I wont.

    1. I'm a stay-at-home, work-at-home, homeschooling mom of a 5 and 7 year old, while working on my masters in writing and writing my second novel. Read: Insane.

    2. I just self-published my first book that was HEAVILY influenced by my devotion with Twilight, but would NEVER admit to anyone but you ladies! (It's called: Pulled, by Danielle-Bannister and it's on Amazon, if anyone wants a guilty pleasure read)

    3. I'm newly gluten free and it sucks ass! Damn digestive issues!

    4. I hate going barefoot, even in the shower. I'm terrified I'm going to step on a bug or something. I'm a freak.

    5. I am pissed I'm too poor to go to Forks. Oh, wait, I said that already. Take pictures for us bitches who are sitting at home!

  21. Shit, it dumped my comment. How will I ever learn to tweet when I can't even successfully post a comment?

    RL name is Sharon. Mother of two teens and so looking forward to a weekend away. Hiking, dancing, catching up with all you Twitarded people, thinking a lot about Edward . . . bring it on!

    I live in Seattle and sigh whenever I drive by Escala (hello, 50). I have two dogs - Raven (the big akita mix, or BAM) and Spotty (the spotted dachshund - hence, my alias). I'm a freelance editor and a PTA mom, and so have waaaay too much work on my plate right now.

    Had the most amazing time in Foooorks last year and couldn't think of not showing up again -(especially when I can just drive there - lucky to be local). Whenever I see the Olympic mountains looming up out of the mist, I think about Edward living right over there and go to my happy place. Can't wait to share it with y'all!

  22. @Marketing_gurl - What are 'dweezil toes'? I've never heard of this.

    @Danielle - I just read all your reviews on Amazon! It's sounds like you did GREAT!! It sounds like your book is right up my alley. Totally going to get it now and I am glad you mentioned it. :-)

    1.) My real name is Amy

    2.) I am really weird about eating any kind of meat. If I don't want to eat someones food I just tell them I am a vegetarian. Eventhough I am not.

    3.) I am a HUGE fan of hugs. Everybody needs a good squeezy hug sometimes.

    4.) I have an obsession with linens. Bedding, towels, whatever. I love it.




    Fat Girl Slim here. No one needs to know my real name. Driving up to Forks with my bestie @MuffinTopped (on twitter).

    Four facts:

    1) I have 3 kids.

    2) I'm a software developer, and kind of a big nerd.

    3) I'm so freaking excited for Forks that it actually hurts.

    4) I went to Forks 2 years ago with my husband and had a blast.

    Cannot wait to meet all you hoors!!!! 6 days!!!

  25. @Danielle - I am also gluten free going on 11 years. If you need any help or have questions, email me at dangrdafne @ We have a small group of us here that are gluten free and we support each other as much as possible.

    @spottysmom - TEAM SHARON!!!!

    @LwE - You are worried about 30??!! You do realize I am 41!! 30 is nothin'! In fact I say skip the 30's and come right on up to 40's - I love them!!! :)

    Look at that 3 facts right there :)

    I have two boys - orange and furry ones - Milo (my avi) and Otis.

    In addition to traveling with my Twitard little sister, Living with Edward (and the crew I am sure), I am bringing the hubby along on this trip and we have been married for 11 years (got married in 2000 so it would be easy to keep track of our years LOL).

    My Mom is the most amazing person on earth.

    My friends are the absolute best people I know.

    I am proud to be a Twitard and can't wait to see you all again and meet all the new people and all the people I missed last year *looks around for @laxplays, @AGirlintheSouth and @PurpleWhipped plus soooo many others*


  26. I had so much fun last year at forks and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again this year.

    About me.....

    1. Well I work for the Provincial Government of British Columbia Canada and I'm a geek by trade. Easiest way to describe what I do is that, I manage a bunch of servers that run web based applications. Oh, and I also do some programming as well.
    2. I don't have kids, I have dogs I use to have six but through old age have lost three over the past couple of years and picked up a puppy so we now have four dogs. They are all Husky Mixes and rescue dogs. I'd have more but Hubs wants to get down to two eventually so we can travel again, I'm trying but I'm such a big softy went it comes to animals that I just can't resist those fuzzy faces that I find on
    3. I love to sew and make weird things, but you already know that about me. What you don’t know is that I made my own wedding dress, my brides maid’s dress and an after dress too. Yes I’m that insane.
    4. I'm a little shy meeting new people, I've improved over the years and of course alcohol always helps me get over it. I can be a loud drunk. I'm also terrible at remembering faces/names so please please forgive me if I met you last year and don't remember your name this year.

    Oh and JJ the zit thing..... Hell yah I’ll go after those bastards with a vengeance!

  27. It just seemed like yesterday I made my reservations for my room. Holy shit how the time flies!

    1. Real name is Rikki and it isn't short for anything. I'm the "I swear I will pull out" kid that my parents weren't expecting. Dad wanted a boy, got 4 girls. No wonder why he was always in the garage....

    2. I work for a bank and can say that your money is safer under your mattress right now than in your account.

    3. My friends/family say I'm a dude stuck in a chicks body and I agree with them

    4. Completely out of the twi-closet and have no shame in anything I do or say. People think I'm nuts for thus trip, but I just tell them "I will be with my people so fuck off"

  28. I never knew that over-packing was contagious, but I am totally not surprised by this news.

    1) I will not remember the names & faces of many of the people that I met last year, either, and the guild I feel over this is nearly debilitating (but can be alleviated somewhat by the heavy use of vodka, which may be part of the problem in the first place - hmmm...).

    2) I loathe having my picture taken because I hate 99.9% of the pics I've ever seen of me (you all already know I have vanity issues - lol - it's embarrassing but I guess there are worse things to be...).

    3) I totally did something wonky to my rotator cuff yesterday and will probably not be able to raise my arm above chest-level for a while. I am currently accepting applications for a part-time hairdryer assistant while in Forks. Will pay in booze and Sharpie markers, since I know I will have loads of both and everything else is pretty much still up in the air at this point.

  29. MyHeartGoesPitterPattinsonSeptember 23, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    I'm not going to Forks but I want to play and I'm using inspiration from what others shared:

    1) I hate Seinfeld too!!! All my friends love it and I just don't get it. I think most of the population were Men in Black flashed to like that show and a lucky few of us were absent that day b/c WTF?

    2) I'm the advertising manager of a college newspaper but I somehow got on the editorial movie screening invite list so I can see any movie I want for free before it's released. Twilight included. Biggest work perk by far. Although, I don't really take advantage of it enough.

    3) I'm turning 30 this year and am living with a boyfriend for the first time and shit is it hard work. I never knew I could love someone so much who rarely applies logic to any decision he makes. He says I should be a lawyer b/c I can turn absolutely anything he says around in an argument to the point where he actually starts to agree with me. I think that's called being a woman? Whatever it is, it comes in handy when I must defend myself for liking Twilight and Rob on a very regular basis. Pro's hint: use their obsession with fantasy sports against them when they bring Twilight up. Refer to twilight as "literature" (this takes practice to keep a straight face) and apologize for being so literate.

    4) I too am absolutely obsessed with all things zombie. I absolutely cannot, however, watch anything ghost, poltergeist or possession related b/c will then be uncomfortable in the house by myself for a loooooonnnng time. When I am by myself and scared of supernatural beings I use my cats as an all clear device. As long as they are calm = nothing spooky going on. This is the same device I use when flying. Calm flight attendants = plane is not crashing.

    5) I'm horrible at planning trips, like just sitting down to book a flight which is the only reason I'm not going to Forks and am so mad at myself now for not getting my shit together. Total twitard fail. Punishable by not thinking of Rob during alone time. I have no intention of adhering to that self imposed punishment either.

    That was really like 12 revealing things disguised as 5 but whatever.

  30. I ventured on my very first girls-only weekend last year on my trek to FORKS...and I did it SOLO!! I flew to a place where I knew no one, made the drive to FORKS by myself, roomed with girls I had never met (the Forum was a God-send), and met some amazing people! My MIL was afraid for my life, and I kinda was too!
    But, I am doing it again this year! And thanks to the friends I made last year, I might be forced to talk to a few more folks (Sara, Anna, and Kintail are WAAAAYYY too cool to really be hanging with me!)
    My four things:
    1) I've been married for almost 14 years and have a beautiful 11-year old son. I also turned 40 this year and really, REALLY, I'm going to FORKS...again! WTF! :)
    2) My personal I'm-a-dork-claim-to-fame from FORKS last year was that JJ bought me a drink at the Saturday shindig because I knew the quick way to count out raffle tickets!
    3) I lost my job about 3 years ago and although I am sometimes a bit bitter about how I was treated in the end, I have never been happier! I have returned to school (to finally get a damn BA), I am happier with my life, and I can't regret what I learned or the friendships I made the 10 years I was with my previous employer.
    4) And I think I read a lot of fanfic, but I probably am just a novice...and I hardly ever review (bad me!); I am a frequent lurker on this and a few other blogs of folks coming to FORKS (and I am a bit nervous about meeting them. Or not meeting them cuz I am hidden in a corner watching everyone have a good time).
    Next week can't come fast enough!
    :) Jen

  31. @MyHeartGoesPitterPattinson


    I was having such a hard time coming up with stuff about myself & you mentions how you don't like to watch ghost/paranormal stuff. I am OBSESSED with the "Ghost Hunting" shows. OMG! I love Ghost Adventures!

  32. mom bailed on me and now I'm coming all by myself. I'm about 75% insanely excited for next week and 25% scared shitless about going alone.

    Four fun facts about me...
    1) Seattle is my favorite city in the US and I'm so happy to be spending some time there. Why I haven't moved there yet is beyond me.

    2) I'm a CPA but I know nothing about taxes. I actually work for a bank, so if you need to know anything about those regulations I'm your girl!

    3) I love road trips/driving, even if I'm driving alone. This is a good thing because I'm about 11 hours away from Forks.

    4) Like others have said, I'm fairly shy around new people or big groups. This is usually remedied after a couple drinks, when I tend to get chatty and want to dance.

    SQUEE!! Wednesday will be here before we know it!

  33. Okay - here goes for the Cougar Contigency:

    Mama (Mary):

    1) I went to FORKS last year and can safely say it was TOTALLY EPIC. I can't wait to go this year and drink you bitches into my soul like expensive Merlot. I AM NOT SHY. COME AND TALK TO ME.

    2) I'm a 40-something Marketing Manager for a real estate firm. It's interesting, mostly stress-free work. Love my office, and adore MOST of my coworkers.

    3) Three kids...Sarah (21), Seth (20) and Katy (18). Katy is my miracle baby because she survived a bone marrow transplant at age 5. She's my little ray of sunshine and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to let go of her.

    4) I HATE bugs. Bugs are fucking disgusting. Bugs are to me what oatmeal is to JJ.

    One more tidbit - I have an entire room in my house devoted to Twilight/Edward and if you ask me, I'll whip out the pictures/video on my iPhone or iPad & show you.

    Now for Papa (David), since I know he won't do his own:

    1) Just turned 50 this year and looks a bit like Charlie Swan. It's cute. He's a restaurant manager and has been for almost 30 years.

    2) Papa really and truly proves that straight, sane men in committed & happy relationships can LOVE Twilight. He's read the books and seen the movies many, many times. He loves it as much as I do. He's more excited for Forks than I am (if that's possible) but he's a little shy around new peeps. Dance with him y'all!

    3) He loves woodworking and has made me some GORGEOUS furniture, including a miniture replica of Edward's grand piano which is a TV stand in my Twilight Room.

    4) He also just recently had a shoulder injury, so if you see he and STY lined up at the end of my bed at the Forks Motel, it's because I'm using my Magic Fingers to massage their boo boos.

    5 DAYS HOORS!!!


  34. ^--- Only child (people tell me this is obvious, hmmm...), one fat cat, NaNoWriMo survivor, new mama to Renesmo, and married to the most patient man ever, who will be on infant-duty while I'm partying with you fine people. Thanks honey!

    Favorite book: Little Women. Favorite movie: Dumb and Dumber. I know, I'm a walking contradiction.

    I also hate Seinfeld. Drab and unfunny. Friends? Totally different matter. Own all ten seasons, have won every time I've played Friends trivia :)

    Lastly... you guys have changed my life for the WAY better and I can't wait to hang out again! :D :D :D *super happy fun bounce*

  35. I love reading all this stuff about everyone! I can't believe our Forks trip is next week...I'm so excited!

    So a few things about me:
    1. My name is Jessica, but pretty much everyone calls me Jess. I'm from SD and a SAHM to the fabulous little Miss D ♥

    2. I have never been away from J and D so I'm a little nervous, but he's a good Dad so I'm sure they'll be fine.

    3. I quote movies and tv shows a LOT, so if you don't watch a lot of tv or movies you might wonder WTF I'm talking about ;)

    4. I'm a HUGE SD Chargers fan and season ticket holder. I actually had to think about my trip when I found out it's the same weekend as a home game, I haven't missed one in years! But, in the end I couldn't pass up the opportunity to spend a fantastic weekend in Forks with all my h00rs!

    See you all next week!!!! :)

  36. I'm Jennifer but you can call me Jiff! This will be my first time in Forks and my roomies are @TrixieandTess and @allthingsHHH! Whuut?! Whuut?!
    Some things about me:

    I'm originally from Louisiana and will break out a Cajun accent at any moment, especially if I am drinking.

    I love to sing and dance so, bring on the karaoke!

    I'm really tall and loud and I have big hair, so I should be easy to find. Come talk to me!

    I've been married for almost 14 years, have 2 awesome kids and a bulldog named Bella, and I am an out-of-work teacher.

    I will answer anything you ask and do not get embarrassed've been warned.

    I love fiercely and am protective of those I love. I'm also a hugger but I respect personal bubbles, too.

    There are many more things I could share but you'll just have to wait until Forks! See y'all in 5 days!!

  37. I'm Gemma, I'm 34 and I'm travelling from England with my big sister. She's not a Twitard and is insisting she's only coming for the scenery ;). We've never spent so long alone together, so should be interesting!

    I'm mum to 3 little boys who are 7, 6 and 4 and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to only having myself to organise for once!

    I'm nervous about this trip because I met up with some girls from Twitter earlier this year and it was a bit of a disaster for me. Everyone promises me that this trip will be different :).

    I'm pretty insecure and act awkward when I think somebody doesn't like me, but if I'm with friendly enough people and feel comfortable, I'm happy enough to join in. Oh, I don't dance sober though. Can't wait to meet everybody! xx

  38. I never know what to write here, then I get started and can't stop.

    I went to Forks last year and it was one of the most amazing times of my life!

    1. I have OCD tendencies. I check things repeatedly. I will sort, pack and repack my luggage next week multiple times.

    2. I was a surprise baby. I have 3 brothers much older than I. My family calls me Micki, it's short for Michelle. Everyone calls me Michelle except for my relatives who've known me since I was born...and you all.

    3. I am a Daddy's girl. My mother died of breast cancer at age 50. She was diagnosed at 45, the age I am now. It scary but I take care of my bewbies. My father never remarried but has been with his "lady-friend" for 21 years. She is 22 years younger than he and used to date my brother. Parts of my life are like an episode of Jerry Springer.

    4. I am a physician assistant in an Urgent Care clinic. I see things on a daily basis that make most people gag. I tweet about it all the time.

    5. I am married. We have a very comfortable relationship; like wearing an old pair of slippers. We have 3 kids. It's weird to call them children, they aren't. Daughter (21) is an overachiever. Son1 (20) is a loveable, scheming, pothead. He's going to live his dream and work on a marijuana farm in Cali next month. Son2 (18 in Nov) is our baby. Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky.

    6. I don't watch TV. My iPod is filled with all genres of music but I have a special love for disco and Broadway showtunes. I get shit for that constantly.

    MM <3

  39. K, so i'm trying to come up with something witty to say and am having thinker's block (it's like writer's block for your head). Like at least 50% of the female population my age, my name is Jennifer...I go by Jene' (think Forrest Gump talking to his gal pal). Fun facts about me...(there's fun facts? Really?)
    1.I have been married for 15 years, I have one daughter, she's 8, and I tend to be a very boring person.
    2.I LOVE to read and watch movies. I stopped counting how many times I have read the Twilight series at 12.
    3.I am a very touchy feely kinda person which works for me since I am a massage therapist. (Snarky, Papa, let me know if ya needs)
    4.I'm very excited to be going back to Foooorks with ya ho0rs and am also a little nervous since this year I am traveling alone :(

  40. Um, so what can I say about me?

    I'm Neets, I'm in my 40's (late - but I don't feel like it), I have 2 teenage sons (17 and nearly 15) and have been happily married to MrCC for 18 years.

    I'm bilingual, having spent my teen years in Germany, but I was born in and currently reside in the South East of England.

    I work in IT. But I only do that because I have to work to keep the mortgage payments up. If I could stop working tomorrow, I would. Then I'd devote myself to writing, or something else equally creative.

    I suffer from panic-attacks. I generally bow out of situations that require me to step out of my comfort zone. This whole trip is freaking me out on a huge scale, and this morning I felt physically sick when I realised that I'll be flying out to the US in 2 days' time.

    On the other hand, however, I give good hugs :-)

    I HATE having my picture taken.

    I am working toward being gluten-free.

    Enough, already. Just come and talk to me in Forks - I've been told I'm really approachable!

    CC x

  41. Wow. Reading all this makes me that much more exited about Forks. It's always hard to know what to say about yourself.

    I work in an itty bitty cubicle that's part of a $10 Billion company. With cutbacks and everything I've been so stressed this year that I now tell people "I've already gone crazy once so I know what my limits are".

    I have a husband, 2 sons age 19 & 11, 2 male dogs & 1 male cat.

    I cannont wait to get together with the GIRLS in Forks.

  42. I love reading all of these, but I never know what to write...

    Ok, here goes. :)

    I'm Kristin, and I am a repeat Twitarded in Forks traveler. I was absolutely terrified before the trip last year - I had never met any of these wonderful women in person until I arrived at the airport in Seattle. Those fears were completely unfounded - it was one of the most amazing times of my life!

    I'm in my early 30's, and grew up in the Chicago area/later Chicago, but I am currently a preschool teacher in Iowa. (Go Hawkeyes!)

    I'm definitely one of the quieter ones...until you start talking to me! Then I don't shut up. :) I do tend to have high anxiety levels (I've been so tense this week that I could barely turn my head, I may need a little help from @jene16!), but that's what Xanax is for. And to the *notbeingnamed* person who kindly shared some with me last year - I'm bringing my own this time!

    I'm so excited for this trip, I can't wait to see the friends I met last year, and meet even more of you!

    Now that I feel like I've written a novel, see you all in 5 days!

  43. About me:

    Im 41, married 16 years now with two girls 11 and almost 8. I have a cat Alladin and a dog named zipper.

    I'm an only child with a very distant relationship with my mother.

    I work in community Management in florida. I can at times get shy, but I have learned to fake it as I speak with strangers everyday in my line of work.

    I have pink flamingos in my yard. I think they are funny and its true Florida.

    I love anything lemon-y (drinks, cakes, cookies, cleaners etc.) my mother said she ate alot of lemons when she was pregnant with me. If it comes in a lemon option - thats the one I buy.

    Im currently reading the BDB due to reading about it on THIS site. I just purchased books 7 and 8 today as I couldn't wait anymore.

    I am so looking forward to this trip and meeting all of you.

  44. @Amers425 THANK YOU FOR BUYING MY BOOK! I really hope you like it! Feel free to e-mail me (link in my profile) after you read it. I'd love to know what you think.

    @Dangrdafne I'm sure I'll have tons of questions about gluten free living, so thanks for the offer!

    @ all Twidards, you guys ROCK!

  45. Hi ladies!!!!

    1) I am THRILLED to be going to FOOOORKS again, once again on my birthday!

    2) I have read all about you ladies, but will probably forget it by the time I see you :) So please be patient

    3) I am the idiotic twatwaffle dancing like a flamenco dancer with lindsay rae in that photo. It's a testament to these ladies that they are still my friends after seeing me dance.

    4) I am single... still. And NO, I did NOT sleep with the DJ last year. Just some harmless flirting! I know we're hoors, but come on!

    5)I lurve me some karaoke because I am a vain motherfucker.

    6) I am considerably... fluffier than last year, so if you go, "who's that chick who looks like Pimpy but with a lot of extra padding...OH." You'll know what's up :)


  46. I tried reading all the comments, but DAMN I'd rather be reading FF and I ain't got all day!

    1. I am the one who knows sign language (ASL). Shall we host a workshop teaching all the dirty words and we can all learn how to sign "Robert is my Baby-Daddy?"

    2. I am flying from Virginia to spend the weekend with my high school/college buddy, Monique. To say we are excited would not even begin to express how we feel.

    3. My husband does all kinds of super-secret crap in the military and I am fearful that he is arranging for video monitoring of my activities in Forks

    4. My 14-year-old is horrified that I am going to Forks and has begged me not to tell anyone! My other two kids still don't know that I am going out of town. I think I will leave a note?

    5. While I planned to lose 15 lbs before the trip, I realized that who the hell cares?


  47. Hell my name is VitaminR and I am really a person..not a beer.

    I helped plan a lot of the Forks adventure last year and have been a big ole slacker this year but for some reason my Twitarded sisters still love me.

    I am very outgoing and I like to hug. I am shameless about it so tell me to back off if I get too touch feely.

    I live in Seattle so the trip to Forks is not that big a deal distance wise but it is a very big deal to me friendship wise and fun factor wise.

    I love where I live and it was really fun to show off how beautiful Washington State is last year. It is looking doubtful that we will have the sunny weather we had last year but it will still be pretty I promise.

    The bar we are meeting up at on Wednesday is owned by friends of mine that don't really know my Twitarded status. I am a lot nervous so please be gentle with me and to the staff there.

    I have not odered my Twitarded shirt or my Twat Waffle shirt...mostly because I am a slacker with shit like that, but also because I am hemorraging money right now paying for soccer, music lessons, yearbook fees, PTA dues, classroom fees, puppy getting neutered...etc. Soooo, I will be sporting my old shirt from last year...because that is the way I roll. Next paycheck I will put the order in.

    I can't wait to see everyone. I suck at names too so please don't take it personally if I forget yours.

    @Mama_Cougar has an unhealthy obsession with my bewbs. If you see her fondling me it may be best to just walk away.

    I will be the one with the Rainier beer hat on...courtesy of the lovely @Dangrdafne


  48. Hey all! I am a Forks first-timer and so very excited to meet everyone, buuuutttt... The last time I flew was 1998 so things have changed just a tad since then. I am terrified of maneuvering about the airports I have to go through.

    ok, here goes...
    1. I have been married 13 years and have 2 kids, Daughter age 13 and son age 9. We got married in a museum 6 weeks after DD was born.

    2. I don't dance. Nope. Not even at my own wedding. Hubs and i will do the token slow dance but i think he likes me more because I don't make him feel awkward dancing, because I feel awkward dancing. I think I dance like Elaine on Seinfeld (that show again! - I did like it). Other folks seem to have more of a problem with me not dancing at their functions than I do. I like to hang out and relax and take it all in...just not dance. Please don't make me ;) That said, I do dance with my kids crazy-style in the kitchen to the Ramones while cooking dinner ;)

    3. I don't like my food to touch and I am a serial eater. I eat one thing at a time. I don't have a problem with stew because I eat it with a fork! HA!

    4. I like all things retro (40s-50s-60s NOT 70s-80s). I think I was born too late. I like cars with fins, the oldies channel on the radio, the kitchy styles of the atomic era, aprons, and pin-up. Sadly, my home surroundings do not currently reflect my interests appropriately - it's a work in progress ;) Luckily my husband supports my "uniqueness" ♥

    5. I love rain! It is my favorite weather (to watch from indoors, not to be outside in). It makes me feels cozy :)

  49. Hey it's me , Cat! I have been following Twitarded since fall of 09 when my husband went "up nort" and I was bored and found the site. I was also the one who won the Twitarded Forks banner contest last year (god knows why, you other artists rocked it!)

    I love all you wh0res! I'm sad I'm not going again, but if there is a 3rd annual Twitarded Forks trip next year I AM going.
    - I run Daily Twimes blog and am a blogger on
    - I used to love Rob and still do but am a HUGE Charlie Bewley fan. Possibly too huge.
    - I have a 9 y.o son on the autism spectrum and without him and Twilight, I'm not sure I want to know where my life would be.
    -I'm married. We cool =P
    - I have my degree in graphic design and was an office manager for 15 years but then got a wild hair up my ass and decided to become a massage therapist 4 years ago. I love to massage, however my career is turning downward due to giving too many massages :(
    -I like beer. and cheese. and food. I live in Wisconsin but am a Southern girl at heart.
    - Did I mention I'm bummed I'm not going again?

  50. Hi everyone! I'm Abigail. I did not go to Forks last year but I'm thrilled to go this time. I'm coming with my best friend of 23 years, Amy. She lives in WA (I live in CA) and we will be driving from Seattle together. She won't post here. She's a Twi fan but not as crazed as me.

    1. I'm married (9 years) with 3 kids (7, 5, & 2) my youngest is named Esme. Deal with it.

    2. I can talk a lot when I meet new people or get nervous. I'm gonna do my best to avoid being a total spaz.

    3. I am super nervous to go to Forks with so many of you that know each other but really looking forward to partying with you all.

  51. Hellloooooooo luvvers!

    Many of you know a lot about me but as I'm not one to keep quiet, here goes:

    1) I live in Auckland, New Zealand and I love it. I swear Tourism NZ should pay me for the amount of pimping-out I do.

    2) Three weeks ago I got home from an EPIC five week adventure of the US West Coast (and Canada). I had the time of my life and met many, many twitards that I consider BFFs for life. Anyone scared about meeting others just needs to DO IT because it may well change your life.

    3) I am SO bummed I couldn't make my holiday coincide with Foooorrrrrks. I did go there though, and will be with you in spirit, and on twitter.

    4) I hate mushrooms. And olives. And fish.

    5) I LOVE peanut butter M&Ms. They're not available here in NZ and I bought eight packets home from Canada. I think I may crack open the final packet tonight in honour of my twitards.

    6) I am a spelling and grammar nazi. I will correct you. JSYK.

    I am SO SAD I am not there this weekend, but HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE xxx

  52. I am Mandy... @mandysmind previously Malicious Mandy.... but after being told I wasn't malicious (HA!) adapted ;)

    -I am 30

    -I have an 8 year old daughter and a husband who acts 8.

    -I became twitared after reading the books, but more involved in the fandom after nm, e and bd filmed basically in my back yard

    -I live near Vancouver, actually, near "Jacob's house"

    -I am social, love vodka, (ok and rum, pretty much any hard liquor)I'm usually loud and inappropriate (with also seems to icnrease with higher alcohol consumption, go figure ;) ha)

    -On the flip side, in large group settings I come across flippy, because I try to meet everyone at once and therefore get to know noone well (does this make sense?) I am trying to improve on that.

    -I have met the cast and have pics and don't mind sharing stories over vodka..or other hard liquor

    -I can't sing or dance well but do both after too much booze

    -Last year in Forks I was only there one day with @Lorabell because we had to go to Portland fot the Twi-Con there (and Catherine Hardwicke's set tour)

    -Last year in forks i got completely shittered, shut the bar down with @StarlitViolets, roomed with @twiredjen and met a ton of awesome peeps!

    -My job is super-secret and separate from my Twi-online-life BUT, if you ask me in Forks I will tell you after vodka


  53. So my suitcase if half packed and OH MA GAH! Forks is like less than a week away and I can't believe it's here already. My next two days are going to be atrocious but I have you all to look forward too! I just need to make it through these TWO DAYS!!

    I'm not sure what I can tell you about myself that you don't already know...

    1) I have seen a picture of my boss' cock and I am now scarred for life. This is an image you should NEVER have in your head. If I thought pouring a bottle of Clorox in my ear would clear it, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

    2) I really do have multiple freezers with lots of dead animals in them. Contrary to popular belief, there are no people in them. Yet.

    3) I have a wicked Maine accent and I'm not afraid to use it. However, I HATE my voice. HATE IT! Sometimes I think I sound like a pre-pubescent boy with sinus problems.

    4) I don't have children. Just dogs. They're my kids who will never grow up. I might spoil them a little too much. And yell at them a little too much.

    5) I've worked in an advertising agency for 14 years and still enjoy it (except for the next two days -- I'm positive I will loathe my job for the next two days). It's laid back and there's never a dull moment! I buy media -- which is not creative -- so I enjoy to watch the creative minds at work!

    OK... that's it for me. Remember I said once that while I love to meet new people, I really am shy? So come hug me if you see me staring into the crowd like a deer in the headlights.

    See you in a few day!


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  56. This looks like fun. Can I play? (like Jene16 said: Fun facts? Really? About me? Heh.) I'm not going to Forks this year, but I'll be there SORT of, if you know how to look for me. (Ooo, mysteriousy.) I lurk the posts and comments here, and rarely post, but really should, more.

    1. I'm 41, married (but can never recall how many years it's been--more than 7), no biological kids, stepmother to girl (12), boy (14), whom I've known since they were 1 and 3. My stepdaughter thinks that I'm a wingnut because I will NOT take her to see "Breaking Dawn" due to the sexy-parts. I slapped my hand over her eyes at that one iffyish Harry/Hermione "love" scene in the HP movie series, so, yes, when it comes to her, I will keep on being the Kissy Scene Police for as long as possible.

    2. I can and will sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of the "Gilligan's Island" theme song at a hat-drop, sober or wrecked. This talent once earned me a giant gin/tonic on a cross-country flight, so it's not entirely without use.

    3. Love to sew, especially quilts. And bags, to tote books, and stuff.

    4. I've been told by males and females that I have an amazing phone voice. Never quite know what to make of that.

    5. Graduated from a Christian HS and fundy college, and thankful to be on the other side, now.

    6. A guy from work gave me a Little Edward doll for my 40th birthday as a joke, and has regretted it ever since.

    7. I need to learn how to sail.

    I'm done hogging up space now. It was all about ME ME ME for a fun couple of minutes, there! Going to re-read everyone else, again.

  57. I thought I better get something in before I meet you all and it's a moot point. That would be typical, actually. I am the queen and goddess of Procrastination Land. Bow to me. (point #1)

    #2 I'm a single mom about to turn 50 this fall (I appreciate the post about not being too old, etc, Deb.) I wrote a list of 50 things to do before 50 and this Forks trip will scratch off at least 4.

    #3 Unlike some, if I had to go alone I'd be fine. But I'm so glad donnersun is coming... We share one brain and it would be awkward to be separated. The other body who co-ops this mind is texaskatherine and my sadness at her absence is matched only by my fear that there really AREN'T sparkly vampires in Forks:-/

    #4 I adopted my 9-year-old daughter when I got tired of waiting for Mr. Right. I'm spending all my money now so she can't sue me for it when she finds out what I tweet about her. Eventually.

    #5 For personal, irrational reasons I hate the PNW (sorry, Cyn) so I'm really looking forward to these four days obliterating all the bad memories. See you bitches in just a few days! xo

    PS: Pretty sure I missed filling out a form so I better go check before LatchkeyWife makes room in said freezer;)

  58. I hope I'm not too late to this party! I won't be able to go to Forks but I love hearing about everyone! Compared to everyone else's, my intro is b-o-r-i-n-g
    1) I am 44 years old (blech!) but people say I look like I'm in my late 20's - early 30's
    2) Married for 18 years, two kids (boy and girl). Girl (mini-me) is a freshman in college and my boi is a sophomore in HS
    3) Lots of pets; koi fish, desert tortoise, parrot and a spoiled maltipoo
    4) WAS the Director of two laboratories, finally got burnt out and now happily working 3x a payperiod at UCI
    I wish I can go with you folks but it's hard when the family doesn't support your Twilight obsession -(yes, I'm a closet Twihard)
    Have fun and take LOTS of pictures!!!!!

    Oh, and come chat with me on Twitter @eelayn

  59. A few things you might like to know (although most are probably TMI):

    1. My biggest dream is to be gangbanged by Jacob and his wolfpack. Don't act like you'd turn that offer down.

    2. I am a HUGE team Jacob fan. In case youre on the slow side and didn't notice.

    3. I have 2 horses who I love so much! They take up alot of my time.

    4. I used to dance in a professional ballet company.

    5. I won a mini-jacob at the raffle last year in Forks. I carried him around in my shirt all night. I was disappointed that he somehow lost a shoe in the process of the fuckery that took place. I found the shoe in my bra when I was getting ready for bed that night.

    6. I love high heels, sugarfree redbull, white chocolate mochas, Betsey Johnson, Rock & Rival jeans and MMA.

    I'm so excited for Forks!!! I am already starting to pack!
    See you twitards there!!!

  60. Holy shitballs!!! I'll be seeing many of you tomorrow!!

    I love, love these comments! :)

  61. An excellent post! Seen the picture of the travel through the mountain I remember when I was a young boy at my grand parents farm. My favorite hobby was to walk through the grass till I get tired.


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