Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Buh-bye, Breaking Dawn Before the Spawn... See You in February?

I totally remember this scene, don't you? 
Bella was SO radiant when she was preggers...

I've been meaning to see Breaking Dawn again before it left the theaters since the second time I saw it with Myg and Jenny Jerkface in late November or early December (I have the ticket stub around here somewhere because I keep things like that but it would probably take me two hours to find it in the piles of other little things I feel compelled to hold on to). The first viewing I was all giddy and hopped up and it's hard to remember all the details after waiting so long to see it on the big screen. I was so baffled by some parts that I read the book again. That's right: I read Breaking Dawn again! Then at the second viewing, I just wanted to watch it without being all dumbfounded that I was FINALLY watching it and having to make notes to blog about it (my brain is like a sieve and I depend on a precarious system of notes jotted on everything to recall shit and make things happen).

I always knew I was going to see it one more time in the theater (how could I NOT?!), at which point I would REALLY pay attention and take a small notebooks' worth of chicken-scratched memos that I would later spend hours trying to decipher into a comprehensible post about what I liked and didn't like. Because the fandom really needed more of that, I think.

 Yeah I remember that this never happened quite like this. I think. 
There might not have been an ass-slip but I DID hear there was a nip-slip.

...and I totally remember this part too. Oh wait no I don't.
WTF is she eating, a lemon meringue omelette???

Sadly, even with a couple of years to practice behind me, I was unprepared for the fact that some time shortly after November 18th, life spontaneously churns into an out-of-control tailspin of holiday madness that starts to wind down at about the same time that all the Christmas-release and last-minute Oscar contenders hit the theaters and push poor little ol' Robward & Company out of the theaters for good. I kept thinking that I would have plenty of time for one last matinee with JJ and Myg... Then I started threatening to go alone, but never found the time. I vaguely considered taking a reeeeeeeally long lunch and seeing it at the theater near my office, but work has been too busy for me to disappear for several hours, at least if I want to remain gainfully employed. Which I kind of do, most days.

Today, after semi-wrapping up some family Christmas mayhem, I realized time was super-short and ran to  Fandango to see what options were still available. It wasn't pretty - a midnight showing playing on a weeknight at one theater near me, or an earlier show at one of a very small handful of theaters (is two a handful?) within inconvenient driving distance, and in very sketchy locations. I won't name city names, but it's what Papa Snarky once referred to as "The Armpit of New Jersey" - is pretty much the kind of crappy, blighted town people not from around here think of when they think of New Jersey, and I will never go back there ever again, even if Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were putting on a stage production of the entire Twilight Saga. The one time I went there I think I saw a tumbleweed of crack vials and pit bull fur go rolling down the street.

So I bid you a fond farewell - for now! - Breaking Dawn: Before the Spawn. Until we meet again - you, me, and all your not-very-enticing-sounding "extras." I'll be there. With sparkles on. And with JJ and Myg in my little clutches, unless they manage to escape again.


  1. Amazingly we have 4 theaters playing it still here in my unnamed Midwest city. Going one last time with the mother-in-law to see it tomorrow :)

  2. Ooooh, I'm glad you reminded me to try too! yeah, I've bitched to Summit on the twitters, but to no avail re. the "extras." I'm hoping they're saving them up for the 2nd part? Doubt it tho. I wonder if R&K just put their foots(?)/feet(?) down and refused. I probs would, but I still want their commentary.

    Just wanted to drop a line to say hello...

  3. @Cat - JEALOUS!!! And have fun! I guess this is one of the down-sides of living in the northeast - lol...

  4. @m474 - oh i SO hope they put together some sort of awesome final dvd when it's all said and done! Won't hold my breath, but will cross all fingers and toes with impunity.

  5. Still several theaters w/ multiple showings here in central TX - I'm hoping for viewing #3 on Thursday!

  6. I've only seen it 4 times in the theater. That's a really low count for me.

    But (since I didn't have to cook) I had a really productive Thanksgiving, and that's keeping me from jonesing. The subtitles are in Spanish, but at least there wasn't candy crunchin' noises right next to the mic.

    And I haven't seen any nip-slippage!

  7. Sadness, I wanted to see it again too. Amanda and I were buzzin after happy hr one night and were going to go but the only showing was at like 10pm. I love it but not that much for my 4th viewing on a weeknight.

  8. OMG Snarky. After reading your post I rushed to google... SparklyJul, edspiano and I are planning a viewing Friday night... just to learn that BD:BTS is no longer screening in our town. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    *stomps foot and sulks*

    Oh, and there's no confirmed NZ release date for the DVD yet. Hmprh.

  9. I only saw it twice, sadly. I just ran out of time/money. But I did just get WFE on dvd, so I can tide myself over with that, I suppose. sigh.

  10. I just saw it for the 4th time while visiting my family in Michigan. I think that may be my last unless I can sneak another. Usually they start showing the "see it before it leaves the theaters" commercials before it goes away.
    What was funny was that my brother who is an anesthesiologist saw it with me & said that next to Bella during the birth scene is a state of the art anesthesia machine & she would have felt NO pain had they used it. I blame Carlisle for not being there to hook it up.

  11. I only saw it twice. I think I'm good till the DVD comes out. Then I can dissect all it's awesomeness. Actually, I can't wait to see what's on the DVD.

  12. ...I'm confused...You guys don't have a dollar theater near you? I plan on spending a good amount of money to see BDbtS again and again for $1 per ticket as soon as it hits. It usually coincides with dvd releases, a little bit before, but you get to see it on the big screen! With popcorn and nachos and everything!

    I say do some research. I flove dollar theaters!!!!

  13. It seems like four is the average number of times. What was the average number of times people saw Twilight in the theater? Nine? Twenty-nine?

    @Twilight Junkie - LMFAO!! Leave it to Carlisle to have a top notch anasthesia machine and not use it.

    @Lindsay Rae - Dude, this is New Jersey. NOTHING is a dollar.

  14. LOL, crack vials and pitbull fur! That's quite a visual.

    I've only seen it six times... and spoiled old me wants to put a sad emoticon at the end of that sentence. I saw NM and Eclipse like a dozen times each. The whole baby thing kind of puts a damper on just heading to a morning movie during the week, but I feel pretty lucky that hubs has watched our Spawn while I've snuck off to see it half a dozen times. Guess I shouldn't complain.

    Also, because I am a total Twi h00r, I can tell you that I have stalked boxofficemojo.com daily for each of the previous movies, and it shouldn't be totally out of theaters until February or March-ish, if past Saga movie performance is any indicator. So, fill up the tank and go one more time!

  15. I only saw it twice. Lowest viewing of a Twilight movie in the theater for me. It's still showing here, but I think I'll wait for the DVD.

  16. I don't even know if it's still showing here, but I doubt it is :-(

    Why do movies have so little airtime in cinemas these days? It totally sucks! Having said that, I have made a pre-purchase on Amazon UK and am frantically waiting for April 2012 - once more, I'm wishing my life away :-(

    Pray tell, what are we all going to be doing this time next year??? The horror!

    CC xx

  17. Twilight = once in theater - before New Moon midnight showing.

    New Moon = once in theater - midnight show

    Eclipse = once in theater - midnight show

    BD Part 1 = three times in theater = LA premiere, midnight show and then Sunday before Christmas Living with Edward, DangrDonna and myself traveled to Lancaster PA to meet with inotu and have lunch and see the movie together. Fun times!!


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