Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dear Vampire Diaries: You Win. Dammit!!!!

As a general rule, I never get into television series about high school kids. Hell, even when I was in high school I didn't watch shows about high school kids. High school kids are obnoxious, myself included. No Saved by the Bell, or those douches in Beverly Hills. With the exception of a brief stint of My So Called Life (which was really good, or at least the whopping four episodes I saw were), I rarely watched any series at all but especially not a series about a bunch of good looking little seventeen year old fuckwads who slept with each other, had problems at home and drove an expensive Mercedes and/or a kitschy hunk of junk beaters.

I was too busy writing shitty angsty poetry and smoking pot.

I can tell you this with full certainty - if Twilight had been a television series, there would have been ZERO chance of me ever watching it. Books, yes. Television show, fuck no.

I blame Twilight for what happened to me the other day. It's like the gateway drug and I'm now thoroughly convinced it has completely rotted my brain.

Two days ago I was avoiding the gigantic pile of laundry in my TV room and searching aimlessly on Netflix for something to watch when I noticed that The Vampire Diaries was now streaming instantly.

The show isn't as well known by its other title - Dawson's Creek Vampires...

I read your tweets, people. I know a lot of you love this series like a fat kid loves cake but I never, ever had a burning desire to even check it out. I got my teenage vampire fix with Twilight and I was all good. I was all done. Finito. Game over.

Naturally, I began to watch the series. For those of you who don't know the whole premise (er, including me, probably) here it is - Edward Stefan Salvatore returns to his home town of Forks Mystic Falls because of some chick. There's an evil brother floating around in there as well.

 What's happening, hot stuffs.

There are only a few things that make this NOT like Twilight:

1) Evil brother.
2) The heroine, Elena Gilbert, actually has a personality that is fiery, as opposed to... well, as dull as cardboard.
3) There is sex, yo.
4) The vampires don't sparkle.
5) The acting is actually good.

I spent the first few episodes rolling my eyes and groaning and sending out mocking tweets about VD (it does not escape my notice that the initials of the show are the same as "venereal disease". I'm pretty sure that means something). A few of you encouraged me to continue watching, which I did.

And right around episode four or so, something happened. It snuck up on me all quiet-like.

I actually started to kind of like it.

It wasn't just because the two vampire dudes are pretty fucking hot (though that had a HUGE part to play in it) or that I found our main leading lady actually highly interesting.

 Apparently Edward Cullen shares his wardrobe with Stefan Salvatore...

The show was actually... good. The premise is pretty cool (albeit slightly cheesy), the plot twists are awesome, the characters are fleshed out and there is an even mix of reality vs. supernatural.

Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I actually like-like it. Let's put it this way - I'm not going to sit around watching the episodes over and over again like I do the Twilight movies but I like it enough to really want to watch it at least once.

I still think it's a stupid show about beautiful teenagers who sleep with each other and create all sorts of drama but look young and perky while they do it. I'm also highly appalled at the overt under-age drinking that goes on in Mystic Falls, which I find more unbelievable than the whole vampire thing. Why don't these kids have to hide their booze in soda bottles like the rest of us did? Instead, they're all getting wasted with their parents at fancy Founders Party or something. I mean seriously, these kids seem to be drinking fancy wine, instead of Zima with a Jolly Rancher dropped into it (as if it was sickeningly sweet enough).

The Four Loko of the nineties

Regardless, I am now hooked. Hooked enough that I can barely finish this post because I want to run upstairs and watch it.

You win, Vampires Diaries. You win.


  1. LMFAO!!! I felt the EXACT same way! And now I'm all pissy and stabby that I have to wait for fucking January 5th for the next new episode. Damon only gets HOTTER, this season Stephan in WAY less whiny and Elena always has an opinion that seems to be her own. After Twilight, who knew the human girlfriend of a vampire could actually have BALLS?!

    So welcome to the group of chicks who looked at the previews and shit and said, "Psshhht - I'll never go THAT route." The suspense is well done, the plot remains consistent with itself (aka no breaking of one's own rules *cough*vampire super sperm*cough*) AND it manages to get BETTER as it goes on!

    Enjoy the ride bb!

  2. It is a vampire soap opera of sorts. I have to say though that Damon's eye flexing drives me nuts and also the fact that they all look like they are well into their twenties. I haven't watched this season yet. I have some catching up to do.

    @JJ--I usually watch episodes while folding laundry...perfect.

  3. Oh no, not you?! JK, I watched episode (1) when it first aired, but then never watched again. Hmmm, as I promised @Jaymes805 & @LuvsMeSumEdward, I must save them for a rainy day..I will watch, promise girls.

    JJ - You never got sucked (pun intended) into True Blood? It has TONS of sex and well, the men are good looking...COUGH *SWEDISH BLONDE* COUGH. I watched (1) epi of TB and never returned. Thought it was lame. Then after some convincing I tried epi (2) and by dpi (4) I was HOOKED. Crack whore hooked.

    Try it, you might love it ;)

    xo J

  4. I fear that SO will have me committed if I venture into more teenaged vampire obsession, so.....must avoid! ;)

    As for TrueBlood, none of my friends believe that I haven't watched a single episode ever. Vampires, Louisiana (my home & MotherLand), hot men and sex and the fact that I haven't tuned in once is unimaginable for them. I *might* eventually get sucked in. Right now? Still waaay to obsessed with Edward and the Cullen World.

  5. And one of the things that is great is that Stephan actually has the ability to pull off crazy over the top vampire when he's bad. In fact, I think I like him more that way.

    And who could go wrong looking at Damon? Oh my god that boy is the hotness of hot!

    I'm pretty sure that my sister and some of my friends are going to disown me if I don't start watching "True Blood." I just don't know if I can fit any more vampires into my daily life!

  6. Damon is mine,*slaps hands* It did take a few episodes to get into..I have a VD and True Blood lust thing..I also got caught up in How I met your mother, and I have to say... NPH is amazing.I couldn't get enough of THAT show. I have become a TV h00r as of late.. Oh well, glad you finally took the plunge into VD.(I hear there is no cure for it)

  7. I was in love with Bill Compton before I found Edward Cullen. But my love for Edward still burns like the fire of a thousand suns.

    I bought the VD books & started reading them, but when the TV show came out, several of the main characters were exact opposites of their descriptions in the book. I lost interest after a couple of episodes and put the unfinished books in my give away pile.

  8. Yay...another one joins Team VD! glad you didn't give up on it after the first couple epis! Trust, it just keeps getting better and better...oh and they keep adding hot guys so there's that ;)

    TwiredJen- What are you waiting for sister...get on it already! ;) (TWSS)

  9. I am addicted to vampires.

    OK, so natch, I'm already a Twilight fan, then I'm a True Blood fan (vamps with sex, y'all!) so yeah, I'll give TVD a go.

    I remember watching the first few episodes and thinking NOTHING HAPPENS. But then I got hooked. And it got good.

    I like the Elena/Catherine thing, I like that they go outside and it's ok, I like that the vamps drink alcohol, but mostly? I like Damon. Mmmmmmmm Ian Somerhalder...

    Here in NZ we have not yet started the series you guys are watching now. So I try and avoid TVD tweets... man I wish it would come back on soon!

    *sits back and waits for @Jaymes805 to see this post and lose her shit over how much she loves this show*

  10. I too was reluctant about the whole VD thing. I watched the pilot episode way back when and was a bit disenchanted. What with Stefan/Elena trying to be Edward/Bella knockoffs and all. And I mean the age of 30ish how many teenage vampire obsessions do you really need? Plus, looking at other vampires causes a little twinge of I'm cheating on the precious or something. But half way through season 2 (and after the relentless nagging of a co-worker who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) I tried again. And JJ, you are right, "there is sex, yo." All in all I really must admit that I enjoy it. I waver between Team Stefan and Team Damon...and sometimes even the werewolf (whos name has escaped me at present).

    Twilight it is not...but it'll do in a pinch.

    And btw, the Zima/Jolly Rancher thing took me back about 15 years and made me throw up a little! Bleh!

    Oh and Stefan? Edward called and would like his pea coat back, m'kay?

  11. Ooooooh far cry from "Really? REALLY?!?! A vampire that plays football?!" huh? TOLD you that you need to pass episode 3 and you'd be hooked. The only reason I know this is that I had the exact same experience. Thought it was stupid as hell. Until someone *cough* LuvsMeSumEdward*cough* talked me in to watching. So I did. And now I haz an obsession. More happens in each episode of this show than in any other show's complete season. Just wait until you meet Elijah. And Klaus. And Tyler becomes less douchey. Ooooh yum. Seriously droolfest. If you ever wanna chat about VD... I'm so here.

    You MUST check out this guy's recaps. They are the most hilarious thing on earth...for reals. I've cried of laughter many many many times.

  12. VD nixed Moonlight (thanks to Twilight) :(...So I boycott.

  13. i have been crazy addicted to this damn show since last october. unfortunately i got hooked before netflix had it streaming.

    now i've got cutie addicted too!

    aaand he'll deny it but my husband totally watches with me.

    the big difference for me is that people actually DIE in this show...which is refreshing.

    and i'm a total sucker for Damon. he can compel me anytime.

  14. i absolutely love Damon. he could drink me anytime he wants. sooo fucking hot. love the dawson's creek reference. stefan(dawson) could climb into elena's(joey's) window while pacey(damon) looks on with an angsty face.

  15. I love me some Evil brother action. DAMN that man is hot.

  16. Thursday evening if Forks there were a few of us at the local bar around 8:30. Apparently many were not available until after 9:00 because VD was more important than Drinking with Friends. That is a serious addiction!

  17. I'm pumped that they've finally it on streaming Netflix! I've watched a few episodes and LOVED it but I haven't caught up since because I've been waiting for them to go on Netflix. Thanks for the good news and enjoy your new addiction!

  18. You definitely have to watch at least 4 or 5 episodes before it clicks!

  19. I have no time to start a new series, but I see yall tweeting about this show all the time (looking at you, @luvsmesumedward and @jaymes805). It isn't on OnDemand and only six episodes on hulu, so guess I'm SOL... oh wait, the CW website has them all. Huh. Sayonara, sleep.

  20. I love The Vampire Diaries! I was skeptical at first too, but it's a really great show. Good acting. Good writing. SO much fun!

  21. The writers seem to be pretty aware of how crazy some of this stuff is, and jokes about it. In the later half of the second season, Elena starts reminding everyone that they should *actually* go to school for more than just dances and carnivals, like "normal" teenagers. I love a show that can poke fun at it's own cheesiness.

  22. TwiNurse: This!

    "And I mean the age of 30ish how many teenage vampire obsessions do you really need? Plus, looking at other vampires causes a little twinge of I'm cheating on the precious or something."

    Yes! Substitute 40ish for 30 for me, though.

    LOL! Love it.

  23. Before the series started I downloaded the books. They read just like the teen Harlequins I read in 8th grade... and were written about the same time. They were hard to read, but I wanted the plot before I saw the series. About the time that Elena... well... I don't want to give it away but after a few books Elena was sidelined in a wierd way... I stopped reading and never finished.

    Any-who the series is way better than the books and high school is just secondary. I mean, they don't look like they're in HS, they don't act like they're in HS so I don't know why they keep bothering going back to that lame place.

    And Damon. Whew. Hotty! Elena should dump Stephan and just jump his bones already, but if @SpunkyBookworm is right and VD bumped Moonlight I'm actually kind of pissed at that. Moonlight was fabulous!

  24. I'm with you on the teen drinking thing. Have you ever seen Gossip Girl? These "kids" drink in bars and clubs and at fancy society parties all the damn time, out in public even. Un-fucking-believable, yo. In high school we were lucky to find a loser adult to buy for us, then we had to party way out in the sticks so as not to get caught.

  25. Am I the only person that actually READ the series when they originally came out (while I was in high school). Back then they were the snizzle, because most of the young adult stuff back then was all RL Stine and shit. I loved the premise of the story line just not the camp of it all. It definately is the the "young adult" books that we get now. Just thought, I'd add my two cents. I also LIKE the series and think the writers do the story justice (and sooooo easy on the eyes!)

  26. I meant to say...It is nothing like the young adult books we have to chose from now.

  27. I read these waaay back when I was a teenager. Sister Banshee was a big LJ Smith fan (though I think she preferred the Night World series) and got me to read them too. I have to agree with Lila on the weird plot direction thing. The first book was interesting, but I kinda lost interest after a while. Which is a shame, because I hated Elena at first, and I was just starting to like her when I just couldn't be arsed finding out what happened next.

    I've heard people raving about the tv show, but I'm still kinda skeptical. Damon's hot and all, but Stefan? Someone needs to show him the difference between "brooding vampire" and "someone just stabbed my puppy and then set fire to all my Armani". Definitely does nothing for me.

  28. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh...I pound my head against the wall about this show. I haven't seen it, and I was avoiding it (kind of like I avoid A Christmas Story), but it's on streaming?!

    FUCK. Now Imma hafta. Shitballs.

  29. good news for me, now i feel less embarrassed by 1. finding the series 2. giving it a try 3. watching all 60 episodes in two weeks. and i also blame it on Summit/Twilight/SM or whoever it is because you have to busy you soul with something in that long waiting time until next BD comes out.

  30. Ian Somerhalder is a very possible casting choice for Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey
    Christian Grey


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