Sunday, December 4, 2011

You Say it's Bad But I Think Porn is So, So Good...

So, the other day I was checking up on some links on our blog-meter and I noticed one that had the word "porn" in it. Naturally, I immediately clicked on it and was not only surprised to see the title - Porn for Women: The Twilight Saga but also that someone we all know kind of well was quoted in it!

We don't just read it for the prose, that's for sure. 

The article isn't really that great but the gist is that Twilight is porn for women. I'm assuming the author meant this in the same way we say it - Twilight is a great at getting us off emotionally - but I honestly have forgotten what the hell his point was because I started reading the comments.

I love reading comments online. Especially when it's something controversial and the asshole-trolls come lumbering out of the dark recesses of the internets to spew their vitriol. I assumed that any article that had both "porn" and "Twilight Saga" in it would somehow be controversial.


I was right. If you don't feel like slogging through the 292 comments on the article, I'll sum it up for you:

1) OMG, Twilight is not porn, it's a beautiful morally correct love story.
2) No it's not, you're an idiot.
3) Men who watch porn are all selfish, disgusting assholes who are ruining this country and its good christian values and they should totally be castrated or maybe sent to Mars so they can't masturbate to porn because THEY ARE ALL EVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLLLL for watching porn.
4) I fought in Vietnam and I'm an American.
5) It says in the bible vampires are bad and you shouldn't be reading this stuff.
6) Twilight is the best literature EVVVVVERRRRRR.
7) Porn is destroying our country.
8) YOU'RE ALL FUCKING HIPPIE COMMUNISTS AND LEFT-WING NUTJOBS I HOPE YOU ALL DIE AND GOD KILLS KITTENS EVERY TIME YOU WATCH PORN OR READ TWILIGHT.

 Game over, kitty.

Or something like that, roughly. Let's just say the devolution of the comments was highly entertaining- like reading a transcript from the Jerry Springer Show. It never ceases to amaze me how worked up some people get over shit like this.

But it reminded me that we live in a very nicely insulated little corner of the internet, where we get along fabulously with one another, share our stories and thoughts and feelings.

And discuss porn. Fan fiction porn, hair porn, finger porn, whatever-porn, we talk about it. We read it. We look at it.

And life is good.

 Whimper.

I think it was all the comments about how disgusting men were for watching porn or the assumption that there was something morally wrong with them that kind of got me thinking (oddly enough, I don't recall a single comment about women consuming pornography, except for the one I left).

Some people care WAY too much what other adults do in the privacy of their own homes. I mean, seriously, if you get your rocks off by watching clown porn or something, go for it. But this assumption that people are wrong for consuming pornography pisses me off.


Porn is not cheating. It is not corrupting young children. Consumers of porn are not all pedophiles, or creepy men. I'm not a criminal because I happen to get excited reading a story that involves two people fucking like bunnies in every room in the house. 

Porn can be a helpful tool for couples who want to experiment or spice up their bedroom life. It can help a man or woman discover fantasies and learn more about themselves - what turns them on or off.

And honestly? It sure beats staring at the wall while rubbing one out.


If there is one thing I can't stand, it's when people make ignorant, negative sweeping generalizations about other people based on a behavior. It's like saying all Twihards are dumb, naive little girls.

Normally, I don't bother jumping into a comments section that is the virtual equivalent to the frontline of a major battle but I really just couldn't help myself. I felt like I wanted to defend porn-users everywhere so I left this comment:

I’m the Jenny that was actually quoted in this article and I believe a few of you have misunderstood what I meant by “brain porn”. I did not mean that Twilight in itself was pornographic (quite to opposite, of course). Rather, by “brain porn” I meant that women get off reading Twilight but in a cerebral/emotional sense, not in a sexual sense (that’s what fan fiction is for, thankfully).
I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading these comments – it’s always interesting to see how… passionate people can be about something like this. 

The debates about pornography were… illuminating. I’m always blown away by how much some people care what grown men and women do behind closed doors and how colorful the sweeping generalizations were regarding people (or in this case men) who watch pornography. 

I may have missed it (there were an awful lot of comments) but I don’t believe anyone mentioned anything about women who consume pornography (and I don’t mean we actually sit around gnawing on XXX DVD’s. I felt I need to clarify that since a few of the commenters above seem to take things very literally). 

Pornography is lovely. I’m a fan of it, as are many of my 2000 + followers on my blog. Most of my readers are well-educated, in committed relationships, mothers, etc. Just normal, run of the mill people, really. 

So, here’s the thing about porn – more people watch it than you probably realize. These are people who bag your groceries, take your blood pressure at the doctor’s office, write you parking tickets and so on and so on. There’s a reason why the porn industry is huge. It’s not just gross perverted men lurking in the dark corners of adult stores. It’s people from all demographics. 

Cheers, Jenny
Will someone respond? Probably not, which is fine. To be totally honest, it's my personal feeling that leaving a comment on that article would be about as effective as sticking a tampon in your ear when you have a period. But I just couldn't help myself.

I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on pornography or erotica. Do you feel it's something to hide/be ashamed of? Has it freed you or enhanced your life at all? Please feel free to leave your comments below!! 

35 comments:

  1. As I've mentioned before, I am a licensed counselor. I often have women (or their husbands) tell me that they think their hooha is 'broken'. My advice is to go get some written erotica, read it & get back with me. No one that I have suggested this to has gotten insulted or upset (not to my face anyway), and quite a few have come back & said I was right. Even better when they are Twi-fans & I can suggest something like Blood & Lust
    I do believe though, as with everything else, too much of a good thing can become a problem. We have all neglected our families to fuel our heroin and I have seen men (usually) get WAY too wrapped up in porn and they get a warped view on what for most folks is 'regular' sex.
    So, there are both sides of the coin. Sorry for being so wordy.
    Now...I'm off to read BLood & Lust.

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  2. I have this good vs the devil's dickhole debate with my nutty family all the time and I don't even look at good'ol Americana tits-out, ass-up porn. My husband is the self proclaimed king of porn, because his job is to keep porn on the Internet. Yup, that's his whole job.
    He operates a web hosting company and 99%... PORN. A few years ago he thought he would build fetish websites and sell them. He named the companies he was selling after the websites he created and ladies I had to claim a loss of earnings for a company called "Chicks on Toilets" last year.
    But most of my super religious-y family members on both sides don't get it, this is what pays the bills ya'll! Some wont even speak with us. We are not dirty corrupt people.
    PORN IS GOOD! It's gahdamn great, stop pretending so hard that you don't like it, or shut the fuck up cause this filthy whore needs another Prada purse.

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  3. I love porn, both written and video form. In my experience, and the experiences of many friends, it has spiced up our marriages. Thank you YouPorn!

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  4. I always knew where my inclinations lied... I just was never quite sure how to translate that into the bedroom...and on an unsuspecting Mr. Z to boot....then I started reading twiporn...and more and more and more....

    Over the last year and a half I started suggesting things...introducing things...then finally said FUCK IT and just downloaded a fic onto Mr Z's kindle and said THIS...DO THIS ...

    My sex life in last year omg... ladies...many of u that think your hubs won't be receptive... um.. u would probably be surprised .... the man I am sleeping with is not the same man I was sleeping with 3 years ago...my marriage is not the same marriage I had 3 years ago...at first it suffered...he was like get off the kindle and twitter already...but once he started reaping the benefits lmao!!!

    OK...I can't say porn saved my marriage...it didn't...there was nothing wrong with it before... but the intimacy and trust and just constant horniness we have now as a result of the twiporn...fuck... our marriage is exciting again and just so much stronger....dude...last week we placed an amazon order ... kids Christmas gifts and a fucking flogger....

    Fuck the hater trolls...porn is just what the doctor ordered!!! I meant to be more eloquent ... I blame the hot toddy.... cheers!

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  5. Sexuality is a spectrum, and where you fit on it is none of anyone`s business (unless someone like kiddies in which case - I hope they rot in hell). As long as you`re happy with it, I`m okay with it.

    I`ve never watched an actual porn, and I`m okay with that. I don`t really have any interest in it. Still images, fan fiction, absolutely. Bring it on. It absolutely makes our sex life better. I can`t tell you how many times I jumped Mr.CC after reading a chapter of `the training`, I can`t see how that is harmful to anyone. I should go read that again come to think of it....

    And I do appreciate this little awesome corner of the internet being so troll free :)

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  6. To each their own. If you are happy, then I am happy. As long as it doesn't hurt me or anyone else, then go for it.

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  7. I used to be very anti-porn, but not the FF story kind of situation, but the stripper/porno video kind of thing. I still am not 100% okay with that part simply because 1) it largely caters to a male based fantasy 2) I have to wonder what pushes a woman to be in porn. I don't want to generalize, I just think viewing life in a single lens can be a bad thing. Porn (okay videos here) can somewhat objectify women, and that is not okay. However as an adult I can make my own choices and so do other people. I think the big thing for me is there has to be more than one way to look at things, and we (women) are more valuable than our body parts. So in summation of this very long comment...porn is okay, but having multiple POV and fantasies other than just a male fantasy is a good and healthy thing.

    And quite honestly twilight and FF has been very good for my brain and marriage.

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  8. Just going to throw this out there as possibly the token Christian in the group... those commenters don't represent me. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and then people make assumptions about me because of them (grrrr). We aren't all closed-minded, judgmental a-holes :)

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  9. great post, could not have put it better myself. Thanks JJ for getting that out there.

    To be really frank, Twi and then Twifanfiction changed my life and my sexuality. Blah blah, sunshine and rainbows, but it really did change my life in some ways. I'm much more into the idea and expression of sexuality and pornography than I ever was. I'm also much more intune with my own. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't some churchy goodie 2shoes, but all the aspects of this fandom, and for me pornography, both written, pictoral, and mental/emotional, is a part of that, have affected my life. I think for the better.

    sorry, this is word vom and not edited or particularly well thought out. Hope I'm getting my point across.

    Good for you woman! that is my motherf-ing point!

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  10. I think Twilight had a hand in saving my current relationship and FanFiction was a big part of that. That being said... I like objectifying women (at least the ones I don't know). I swing both ways in that way. It's a picture. It *IS* an object and if she chooses to put herself out there then I'm okay with it. Of course there is porn out there I don't like, but I'm sure some people don't like the porn I like either. Different strokes for different folks.

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  11. I am in total agreement with m474 and what she posted. My marriage couldn't be happier.

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  12. As a single woman in her 30's, who was also a single woman for the majority of her 20's... lemme tell ya, p0rn is gooooood.

    I remember finding literotica.com a long long time ago and loving it. I didn't think it was porn, therefore it wasn't 'bad'. It was just words, but it got me where I needed to go, if you know what I'm sayin.

    When I read Twilight, I can remember searching the website wondering if there were any stories based on our favourite vamps. I had never heard of fan fiction... goodness me, and this was only a couple years ago. Wow, how my world has opened up!

    I like a bit of visual stimulation too, from time to time. Still images don't really get me (unless we're talkin slash, then I'm more comfortable with stills) but YouPorn and RedTube are my friends.

    Good on you for your comment, JJ. I'd suggest there'd hardly be a twitard who would disagree with you. And for those who comment about women who get into the porn industry, I say it's a free world. If someone wants to fuck all day for a living, good for them.

    On that note, as I typ I am reminded of the live sex show I went to when I visited Amsterdam. I've never seen a less erotic thing in my life than the sad, mechanical sex that was being had on that stage. At least in the majority of video porn I've seen, the girls seem to be enjoying it, or are reasonable actresses, and that is what they're paid for, after all.

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  13. @My After Car...I, too, am a Christian...I agree w/you 100%!

    ...we're not here to judge, what human has the right to judge another? Certainly not imperfect me! Being a Christian means I believe in Christ, not that I am some holier-than-thou saint!

    I absolutely LOVE fanfic, & Twilight, & enjoying all the fabulous ways I can use those "funner" body parts I've been given! much! Why not? (But only a few close friends & the hubs knows how much, hmm...so maybe I am a closet "erotica" - isn't that the proper term for women's porn?-junkie?)whatever.

    I was so delighted & relieved to find Twitarded! I'd never read a blog, didn't know what "following" was, & thought that Twilight had made me insane or something...
    thank you for being here! oh, and JJ, um, remember 15 Steps???) so, anyway, thanks!! You guys are all awesome!

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  14. I had a very negative view of porn for a long time because of a bad experience in my teens. I saw horrible things that no one should ever have to see on a family member's computer. I won't go into details, just know that it was bad. I was pretty sexually repressed as a result, plus, oddly enough, it takes quite a while for Catholic guilt to fade even after turning your back on the Church.

    Enter Twilight, fanfiction and all you lovely hookers, and I'm a new woman. I no longer feel dirty about looking at or reading porn (though I do still tend to hide it - I am still Irish after all) or, um, scratching the itch, shall we say ;) I'm single, but I don't mind. TwiKiwi is sooo right about porn making singledom a better place.

    Sorry for being so wordy, but this is stuff I can't really share anywhere else. I now firmly believe there is nothing wrong with harmless fantasy, and to hear so many of you crediting porn (and Twilight) with spicing up your relationships just reinforces it for me. Most porn isn't evil, as the hardcore Christians would have you believe. Just a way for people to live out fantasies, and maybe inspire a little. Although I do believe that too much of anything is not a good thing.

    JJ, you were spot-on.

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  15. You go Girlfriend - for me - it's all good.

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  16. The bottom line is this. People of faith, like me, are raised to belive that feeling anything sexually toward someone outside of your marriageis considered adultary. The commandment: Though shalt not cpvet thy neighbors wife says it all. Funnily enough Moses left out 'Thy neighbors husband' it's as if women didnt matter when this was written. AND if people look close enough at the Bible Noah, from the book of Genesis, is found in a tent, drunk, and lying with ONE of his CONCBINES. Men, even back then, were kinky, horny, fucks. I suppose growing up in the church it's easy for me to understand why these people are so afraid of sex and porn. It's something everyone feels, but is taught to ignore. The elephant in the room, so to speak. It's so easy for people, men especially, to over look women and their needs. Thats why SO many men roll their eyes at Twilight. They fail to understand that were not inside the theater sniffling over Bellas struggle to choose. Were in there, hormones reving like an amped up engine, spendind two awesome hours with the pretty. It's our porn, our outlet to fantasize. Why is this wrong?

    Thought I'd just put that out there.

    And now that I've revealed my nerdy/scholarly side... LONG LIVE TWI PORN! Edward and his gigantic sparkling peen will be ogled as long as women surf the smuttier side if the internet. Come to the dark side ladies.

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  17. I discovered the world of fan fiction when I was involved in another fandom and devoured it when my hubs was on an extended work trip. When he finally got home, he didn't know what hit him! Ever since I got in Twilight, I came clean and told him about what I am always reading on my phone. Reading Twi-fic has made our sex life so much better, so he ain't complaining.

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  18. I think to each her own!!! My dh always knows when I've hit the Twifiction-Just glad I don't call him my favorite shapeshifter Paul or of course Edward in the heat of the moment lol. I think as long as it is legal porn, i.e. no children involved, that there is nothing wrong with a little visual or mental stimulation. Visual is usually best for men so have at it DH who has worked hard all day and is tired while I have worked myself into a frenzy reading. I have no issues with it at all!

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  19. @Nifer - lol! I would have thought Chicks on Toilets would have been more...lucrative. OK not really.

    @TwiKiwi50 - I think a lot of us found smutty Twi fic that way - just wandering the internet one day saying "hmmm... I wish someone had filled in that "fade to black..." - I know I did! And wow did they ever (and then some)! I also never knew fanfic existed. I still don't know that fanfic outside of Twi fic exists (or it might as well not in my book).

    : )

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  20. Wow. I love this post AND the comments. Jenny, I often find the comments more entertaining than the article or post itself, so I get reading through so many of them for the interesting, educational, entertainment value alone.

    I'm so glad you opened up this conversation in a frank way as we women are so often left out of it or not considered perusers of porn. Perhaps because what we like as porn can be so different from our male counterparts.

    I have a dear friend who is an avid porn consumer. His porn of choice is "high quality lesbian porn." negl, two ladies doing it doesn't do it for me. In a hilarious synchronicity, his hard limit is clown porn! I hooted aloud when I read that in your post!

    Back when I was a twi newb, my sister in law (who had all the books and was my indirect supplier via my brother) told me she had two of the books on her kindle but didn't want anyone to know. She said, "It's like I'm carrying around porn."

    Then, as I traveled deeper into the twi universe, I was appalled to discover there was twi porn in the world (and yes, it was labeled that on a blog I lurked at the time.) to my greater horror, I read about rape fantasy fics. That's my hard limit. There's nothing sexy or romantic to me about forced sex no matter the gender or age of the participants.

    That being said, I've now not only become an avid consumer of fan fic erotica, but an author as well. I vividly remember the night I emailed my porn loving friend excitedly to tell him I'd found my porn, lol!

    And like so many of you who've already commented, I've learned much about myself and my sexuality - what turns me on and what leaves me cold, as well as what I'd like to try and/or experience sexually with another. Sadly, I'm involuntarily celibate and have been for many years (and it doesn't look like that's going to change anytime soon.)

    So, erotica, stills, gifs (man, I've seen some REALLY hot gifs floating around, haven't you?) and videos are it for me for now. Oh, and no one much has mentioned toys. Good toys can be a woman's best friend (single, married, or somewhere in between). I was a winner last christmas of twitarded's toy giveaway, and let me tell you, they're damn interesting ;-D

    Okay, this is WAY beyond long enough. I started on twitter to see if the 140 character limit could nip my wordiness in the bud. As you can see, that hasn't happened, lol. I either sent long strings of tweets, or simply abbreviate better :-D

    Final thought - like anything and everything, porn has its shadow side. Dualism is part and parcel of this world. I've personally known a man who made a fortune in the porn industry and was able to retire well before his 30th birthday. I also know it chews people up, killing their soul before this age, as well.

    Tread the middle ground until you find your safe place, your tribe, your kind of porn, then dive deep and surface often! Life is to be lived, not merely survived.
    Mal

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  21. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKrqfIjJu6I&feature=player_embedded

    Has anyone seen this? Kristen Stewart and Baby Jesus. Interesting combo...

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  22. I love all these comments and it just shows how intelligent, logical and awesome all you ladies are.

    @My After Car - No worries, bb. I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there from all different kinds of religions (or none at all!) that are not like the people who commented on that article. I would never presume anything about a person based on their religion (unless they're part of Fred Phelps' crew - then they're fucking assholes).

    @Mostly A Lurker - LOVED the comment, thank you! I do wonder though - if some people think men who consume pornography are these terrible people - what about the women? Interesting and intriguing question for me, to be honest.

    I really loved to hear so many of you confirm the positive effect that porn/erotica has had on your lives.

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  23. Hey JJ. Enjoyed your comments as always. You might be interested in this article, which is one of the more coherent Twi-gasm defenses I've read (after yours, of course).

    http://ideas.time.com/2011/11/21/the-harsh-bigotry-of-twilight-haters/

    PS I just don't know who all these twisted sisters are that write all the Twi-porn. (so if you have their email addresses, I'd be much obliged, lol).

    Hypo

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  24. I enjoy the articles on this page. I absolutely agree with the "mind porn" statement. For some reason the Twi Saga flipped an old switch in my brain -- it felt like the endorphins of falling in love again (or eating damn good chocolate!) When I found fanfic during my midlife crisis (at 41), it showed me women can be into sex (and it can be freeing), and they write it much better than men (all my porn reading had been limited to my hub's Hustlers). My hubs got the bennies too of Twi. On the porn issue, been watching it with my hubs since our college days...

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  25. The only porn I find objectionable is the stuff that shows a women being abused and I don't mean BDSM I'm talking simulated rape & humiliation. That shit is disturbing. Otherwise sex is good and sex is fun.

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  26. Here is why porn, in a back-handed kind of way, is in the end, evil: because the men who whack off to it grow accustomed to airbrushed and idealized images, or with videos, girls who are the kinds of girls/women who score thousands of hits. Over time, the men need that rush. It's like putting too much salt on their food. Without it, they taste nothing. This is where free-wheeling liberal women like you come in. YOU are NOT the women he whacks off to, and YOU grow old, and YOU may have children, and YOU will have your period. HE is essentially hooked on big-boy cartoons. He's emotionally and sexually calibrated to where HE really needs that stimulus, and YOU frankly just don't get him there anymore.

    In the long run, this contributes to, by itself or with other factors (having grown up with multiple sex partners over the span of about 15 years prior to marriage, for example), leads to infidelity and divorce.

    I hope this makes sense.

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  27. I'm about to bare my soul...you have been warned!

    I was raised by my mother to think that sex was dirty and degrating. My mother never spoke to me about sex and when she would make a comment I would feel like a slut for just thinking about it. 

    I have been with my husband for 14 years and he is a fucking saint for staying with me for our first 10. Most of our sex was very vanilla and I wouldn't ever let him touch me or go down on me. 

    4 years ago...enter Twi-fanfic

    My first ever fanfic story that I read was The List. I stayed up til the crack of dawn reading then ran to bed and jumped my husband. For the next couple of days this routine continued and I would shamelessly block my laptop screen whenever my hubbs would walk by. 

    Finally I built up the nerve to tell him why there was a sudden change in the bedroom after all these years.

    Let Your Light Shine was the real eye-opener for me. I suddenly understood that the intimacy of being together wasn't "dirty and degrading" like I was raised to think. Lola taught me that it was a way to express how we love and care for each other. 

    How fucking sad is that! It took a fanfic story to teach me about love and intimacy when it should have been my mother. 

    Plus now my sex life FUCKING ROCKS! 

    I have never been bothered by other peoples choices for watching porn. My husband watches it and I don't mind. I have even watched a few. Although, I prefer erotica. 

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  28. wow. There is so much in this topic.
    First for the Christians.. I once heard that sex is becoming recognized as a sacrament in the Catholic church. One thing I just read was that the church never had a problem with sex, just the misuse of sex outside the sacrament of matrimony. We all know it makes us feel closer to heaven, right? ;)
    As for me, somehow at some young age I came up with the realization that whatever is possible on this good green Earth and in this existance must by definition be, well, natural. I can't say what gave me that insight but it came somehow. For a more contemporary expression of this idea I like to say the classic: It's only kinky the first time. But I also agree there is malice and betrayal and crappy behavior that would make what may physically be described as sex something entirely wrong, vile, and unacceptable. So what I'm saying is somehow I've always held the view that porn as taboo is just judgement. Some political views also argue that control of sexuality is control of people's lives.
    Remember what how vibrators came about? Doctors used to treat women for "hysteria." that is, doctors actually got women off in their offices because women were losin their wits at home cos they lost all individuality in the cookie cutter married life and they couldn't get off. Doctors got tired of manipulating women with their bare hands and so came the vibrator. This was a system that was out of balance sexually. Our system today may still carry a lot of preconceptions about what is proper sexual behavior and an awful lot of just plain old miseducation. Being raise Catholic and by my parents in particular.. well hell! did I get the wrong messages.
    So hell yeah porn rocks, if it shows us how to be ourselves a little more, ahem, fully! Well gods bless us everyone!
    The feeling of attraction we get from reading our lemons sure is a fine, FIIIIIIINNNNE little miracle that keeps us humming a little closer to sanity.
    gusgus

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  29. Ooh, and looky what i found searching "is sex a sacrament"...

    a kind of historical evolution of sexual mores...

    http://www.ourcivilisation.com/smartboard/shop/taylorgr/sxnhst/chap12.htm

    gusgus

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  30. Blogger ate my first comment...Let's try this again, shall we? First, JJ, this was an excellent post, go ahead and throw it in the Best Of, m'kay?

    I may be in the minority here...but I attribute my kick-ass sexually-aware self to my kick-ass mom. Nothing was taboo, nothing was dirty, wrong, or depraved. I was taught to respect privacy and my own would be respected, and to find my own way. I was encouraged to find out for myself what made me feel beautiful and sensual, otherwise, how would I know what to do when there was another person in the picture? I was told, that unless I was in a relationship with a sure-as-shit psychic, that no one would know what made me tick unless I was able to do a little show-and-tell. So my kick-ass mom told me to find out what my body needed to feel the best when I was alone. I did. I do. I will continue. Know why? Because my mind and body have changed since then, and I love it. And porn has helped in that process immeasurably. Written, gif, still, vid, it's all good. Some more than others, but porn is a big part of my sex life! Thank goodness my mom encouraged me to be proud of my body and proud of what makes me praise god (IYKWIM)...I don't know what I would do without porn.

    Everyone should FIND A WAY to be open with their daughters about porn. My mom was. I am grateful. I went through some bad shit in my childhood that should have got me to the nunnery, but my mom raised me to be honest and proud and beautiful. Erotica was the first way I knew to find my path sexually, and I knew too many girls in college who were still repressed and shy and embarrassed about their own bodies. FOR SHAME! Teach your kids about sex! Both with others, and with self. Both are important, and both are natural and awesome when you don't feel ashamed about it.

    Sex w the hubs is rockin'. And we've been at it since high school. We know each other extremely well, but we're also still learning. It's great when we can say "let's try this!" and it turns out to be a disaster and we end up with ice packs and ibuprofen. Because we tried. So what if it ends in laughs and pulled muscles? Sometimes its a fucking revelation and we want to take a picture to put on our Christmas cards saying "LOOK WHAT WE CAN DO! IT'S AWESOME!" Most of those ideas, they don't come from my imagination...No, they come from PORN. And then I put them into my imagination and take them to MY level.


    And sometimes it fails. But that's fuckin'.

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  31. Twilight, the young adult, written by a mormon, moral tale of abstinence lead me to porn.

    Not movies. I had seen movies before and all the spitting really grosses me out and the men are always hideous. I mean romance novels. I never read a romance novel before. Fan fiction isn't my thing because I like new characters and stories where I can use my own imagination. I found The Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Great character development, dumb dialogue, great story lines and HOT sex.

    Thanks Stephenie Meyer!

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  32. Lindsay Rae, your mom rocks! I have always hoped that I can make sure that my daughter grows up with a healthy attitude about her body and sex. She's only 6 now, but I hope to have an open dialogue about it through her teens and beyond. I loved your post!
    I have always been a huge advocate of porn. Find what turns you on and stick with it, that's my motto. Yes, I do agree that the easy access to porn is potentially hurting our young men -- and fueling the hair removal industry! But most men will tell you that what's splayed out before them in the flesh is better than any airbrushed fantasy ending in dot com. (I mean, how many of us have partners that look like The Prettay but we love them anyway, right?) For women, I always recommend that they start with written erotica and move on from there.
    Loved your post, JJ! Great place for it, too!
    Love you, H00rs!

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  33. @Lindsay Rae I love you. Best comment ever. Though I am trying to figure out when the porn conversation is going to happen with my daughters...hopefully not for a while. :P

    I have learned from all this fanfic fun that I love the written word of porn the best. But a nice porn photo can do wonders as well. Some porno movies are fab as well...some are riduculous...and I am sure some just aren't for me.

    I give porn two thumbs up...way up. ;-)

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  34. Great post and amazing comments!

    @LindsayRae - Very well said.

    I have a 13 year old daughter and both my husband (her dad) and I are super open. We joke, we have serious talks, we correct erroneous things she's heard from others. The point is, keep talking to your kids about sex. Tell them what's real and not. Let them know that no topic is off limits. Then you'll carry the confidence that when they begin making their own decisions about sex, they'll have the knowledge and background to make decisions that they're happy with.

    I'm all for whatever gets a person off. If it's video porn, cool. If it's fanfic, nice. If it's BDSM - fucking go for it. But the limits we place on ourselves and others will only restrict our ability to discover new things about ourselves and our partners.

    So set yourselves free, trolls, TRY it - then you can voice an opinion. And if it's not for you - fine, move on. Nobody needs to judge, and those of us who are into it, certainly won't.

    @JJ - I certainly agree that the topic of female pornography consumption is grossly overlooked. They have ads on tv for "enhanced female satisfaction" creams and shit, but porn is somehow "bad?" If it's a choice between cooter chemicals and a little fanfic, PSHHT - no contest. I'm all for a natural approach.

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