The situation just gets worse when my spam filter breaks down and I have to wade through mail about penis enlargement, free Viagra, senior singles in my area (Note to sender: This is not amusing.), weight loss pills, and some unknown South African uncle who has managed to side-step apartheid, genocide, man-eating lions, and poisonous snakes to become a billionaire before his death. My inbox can be a real ego boost.
My penis is totally the right size for a woman of my build.
If that's not annoying enough, I also get the mother of all annoyances in the mail world — chain mail. It was bad enough when you would receive the random chain letter in the mail back in the day. (Not that I'm old, as my spam folder seems to suggest.) Then e-mail came along and these crazy spammers could find you almost anywhere. You were safe as long as you didn't check your e-mail. Until... the chain TEXT rolled into town. That's right. I received my first chain text the other day. The scene in my house was pretty much like this:
Me: Oh! A text. Tralala. Let me check that. Someone probably sent me something that is crazy urgent and needs my immediate attention.
Still me: What the...? [insert primal scream]
This, my friends, is where I inform you that if you send me chain mail you are dead to me. I'm not talking about the e-mails and texts with funny pictures and videos. (Please keep sending those!) I'm talking about any correspondence that ends in "Jesus / Allah / Gandhi / Tom Cruise wants you to send this to ten people, including the one who sent it to you..." or "Bill Ackerd didn't forward this within three seconds and he died in a fire. Twice." Few things make me more insane. Like fly-into-an-irrational-rage-and-want-to-smash-things type of insane.
This will be me. And I don't care.
I realize that I've taunted at least ten of you into spamming me with chain letters. My retribution will be swift and terrible.
Fess up — does anyone here send chain mail? Am I the only one with an irrational hatred of it?