Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bacon Will Save the World!

My latest obsession, the infographic, has just reached a new height in genius. No longer will I think of bacon as something that will give me high cholesterol and a double-wide ass. Nope. According to the infographic below, I can eat bacon until the cows pigs come home. Watch out Wilbur... I've got you in my crosshairs.

Apparently, bacon has fucking super powers. I'm a strong believer that bacon should wear a cape at all times. Bacon can probably leap tall buildings and can actually aid in weight loss and lower cholesterol... what the what? How happy does this news make you? Seriously, it makes me want to cook the entire pound of bacon currently residing in my fridge while doing cartwheels around the kitchen. I feel like this current information warrants bacon to be served at every meal of every day.

If you need this shirt as much as I do, you can buy it here!

And, the more bacon you eat, the more bacon fat you can store and well, goodbye fossil fucking fuels. Bacon will power your life. Can you imagine all these people driving around in cars fueled by bacon? The exhaust would be downright mouth watering. I'd better stock up on wet-wipes, because I'd spend my entire commute salivating all over myself.

It would be like in the episode of Seinfeld when Kramer decides to sun himself on the roof slathered in butter and Newman starts seeing him as a big basted turkey. I'll be seeing bacon everywhere.

Bacon deserves the Noble Peace Prize for all the good it does. In short, bacon kicks ass.


  1. Ahh Bacon! The end of your post makes me want to sing this ode to bacon.

    I'll be seeing you
    In all the old familiar places
    That this heart of mine embraces
    All day through.

    In that small cafe;
    The park across the way;
    The children's carousel;
    The chestnut trees;
    The wishin' well.

    I'll be seeing you
    In every lovely summer's day;
    In every thing that's light and gay.
    I'll always think of you that way.

    I'll find you
    In the morning sun
    And when the night is new.
    I'll be looking at the moon,
    But I'll be seeing you.
    - Irving Kahal

  2. FTR Oscar Meyer Classic Bacon, has the same nutrition info as turkey bacon.

    If you're going to eat bacon, EAT BACON!!

  3. You had me at "Bacon." I'm sure there were other words in the title, but only one matters.

    I can't imagine a life without bacon. I've actually met quite a few Vegetarian+Bacon people lately, too. Seems even the granola heads need this food group to survive! And what a genius way to be a vegetarian, too. I could probably (but would never want to) give up meat, but bacon? Not a chance.

    I'm wondering where I can get that Bacon Oil?!?! I'd cook everything in it! What wouldn't taste good sauteed in bacon??

    1. There's a restaurant here in Portland called Nosh -- they have bacon-dusted french fries. Died and gone to heaven I tell you!

    2. Please FedEx me some of those fries IMMEDIATELY. thxkbye. (seriously - NEED THEM!)

      The bacon mac & cheese at that place we took over our first night in Seattle this past fall pilgrimage (er, Red Room of Pain Lounge? That was it, right???)? STILL drooling over that...

  4. Did anyone else think that baby wrapped in bacon was hilarious?


    I am a total low-carb convert, for starters. Everything I've read about how much better low-carb diets are is one thing, but the way I feel is the actual proof that low-carb is the way to go for me. Have I lost a lot of weight? No. Why? Because I don't consistently practice low-carb eating because I am lazy and love pasta and ice cream. However, when I consistently stick to low-carb (ie; high-bacon dieting), I do lose weight. And also, I feel so much better I can't even tell you. The truth is (if you read the research or the books that lay out the research), if you are not eating sugar and starches and carbs then your body metabolizes saturated fat much differently so you actually can eat bacon without fear for your life.

    You can also buy bacon that isn't cured with nitrites (go Wegman's) so you don't have to worry about that, either.

    Did I mention I fucking love bacon? Because I do. If I eat bacon at breakfast, I feel awesome all day. When I don't? Not so much.


  6. Bacon is the cat's meow. Or the pig's oink. I love it soooo much. I would piles of it everyday if I could. THAT good.

  7. I had to wait until today to read this because yesterday was Ash Wednesday & I couldn't have bacon. You're a whore for doing that to me.

  8. TK, I got you beat... I'm just now getting to this post - oh well. Just had to come from the depths of luredom to comment: There is a dive restaurant in Downtown Los Angeles that serves a ( "Bacon Doughnut"! Yes, please! I have not yet developed the "guts" it takes to try said doughnut, but I've seen it w/ my own 2 eyes & know it exists. lol.

  9. And also...THIS. :)


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