Thursday, February 16, 2012

A Glimpse Into the Future

I've said it here before but my commute is a 4-hour-round-trip daily source of rage-riddled torture. I think it takes a special person to be able to do a commute like this for an extended period of time and NOT wish nuclear warheads came in pocket-size. Sometimes, I look around at all the people who take the train with me, especially the older women. They're the ones who are hunched over, with orthopedic shoes and worn out looks on their faces and I often wonder whether they're stooped because of osteoperosis or if the toll of their travels has finally just sucked their souls right out of their bodies.

Every once in awhile, I see a few people who, bafflingly, seem totally okay with fighting through crowds to catch a seat everyday. They have smiles on their faces, their eyes are twinkling and sometimes they even let people go in front of them.

I can't decide if those kinds of people are just retarded or high.

Either way, without a doubt, I will never EVER be that person.

 My sentiments exactly.

I'm the one wishing for mini nuclear warheads. Or a cattle prod.

A few weeks ago, Latchkey Wife sent us all this little video. Well, actually, it's not little, it's about 6 minutes long and it gave me a relatively hysterical but horrifying glimpse into my future.

This is what I'm going to be like in fifty years if I keep commuting into the city. Also, this woman is my fucking HERO.

And she's totally fucking insane.

HOWEVER. A word of warning - while the video itself is totally innocent, the audio is VERY not safe for work. Or if you have children in the room. Or any person who might be offended by a six-minute barrage of curse words coming from the mouth of one very old, very badass lady.

I honestly can't decide if this is disturbing or incredibly funny. But I kind have to give the old lady props for talking smack.


  1. Love it! If I lived in a city with mass transit, that could be me in a few years!

    JJ - I don't think there is any way you can avoid becoming this woman. This is your future. Except you'll probably be carrying automatic weapons!

    I want to know what are all those old ladies you mentioned doing on your commuter train every day? Please tell me they aren't heading into the city to work!

  2. I can't wait to watch this...I'm just about to eat dinner & watching American Idol, but once DG is off to bed I will turn that bitch on.

    xo J

  3. It's like someone is holding a mirror up and we get to see JJ's future... We REALLY need to get her off mass transit before it's too late.

  4. That video has to be far and away the most horrifying thing I have ever seen on Twitarded. And I am easily horrified.

    Good news is I can't believe it will ever be JJ because actually she will be a millions times more imaginative and devastatingly cutting than that crazy old bat (or the Rosie Perez imitator).

  5. Does this really happen? Oh Gawd, this saddens me so much. I mean, I know the London tube network isn't a 'fun' place to be, but I'm not sure I've ever experienced this sort of stuff there before. Jeeeeeeez! I feel for you, JJ!

    CC x

  6. HAHAHA! You should have watched 30ROCK last night. Liz Lemon did a great subway lady. Sorry Jen, I glad you tweet your adventures, it lets us know you and the passengers are still alive--for now. LOL!

  7. I am a little bit terrified of you, JJ.

  8. When I first saw this video, I thought immediately... "Oh shit, the future Jenny Jerkface." She scares me sometimes. I wouldn't survive having to take public transportation every day. I would end up in jail.

  9. Bahahaha...Oh God! This lady is NOT going to take any shit. I'm thinking she will be a survivorof the impending apocalypse and would be an asset in my colony (yes I am forming my own damn colony, and taking applications....but you must have a useful skill.) I think I could do a subway, but not a 4hour commute...that would kill me..kudos JJ your a trooper...hmmm patience may be a usefull skill, I'll think about it.

  10. really awesome post thanks 4 sharing this post with us


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