Is she holding a grenade? I would like a grenade for Valentine's Day!!
I'm also not married to the most romantic guy on the planet, and I'm not one for mushy either. Sure it's all pretty and sparkly in the movies, but in real life, it's not for me. So I think it's only fitting that I be the one to post on VD.
Because I'm the giving type, I'm giving you all some candy. Some nice sweet, tasty candy. Last week, VitaminR emailed us all in giggles (well, I'm suspecting she was giggly but it's hard to tell through email.) She had discovered a phone app called "Profanity Candy". It's like our favorite book, Creative Cursing but almost better. I say almost because nothing really can beat the feeling of flipping through that amazing book for the first time and producing words like Whore Flap, Muff Donkey and one that's near and dear to all our hearts, Twat Waffle. (Want a Twat Waffle t-shirt? Click here!)
Is it wrong I consider this my bible?
We're all a little pissed off we didn't think of this app. We could've been bazillionaires and just sat around blogging all day. The Profanity Candy app is like a virtual slot machine of cussin'. Rather than pulling the one-armed bandit, you shake your phone -- and instead of a row of cherries and 20,000 nickels, you get a shiny new curse word and a lifetime of creative insulting.
Here are some my most recent random "shake it up" masterpieces....
I never want to be one.
I'm not sure what a "snizzer" is, and Google's no help either.
I'll be yelling this at the stupid people at the grocery store. I bet I get a wide berth!
This strikes me as one that would be a Jenny Jerkface favorite.
This is just... I can't even... ew, gross.
This would be an example of not very insulting or profane.
Or is this just a fancy name for a bum?
Your homework is to download the Profanity Candy app immediately to your smartphone and give us your favorite new shake-it-and-see curse in the comments.
Happy Valentine's Day, Twat Waffles!!