10:00pm "Self, you should really go to bed now because you know you're getting an hour of your life robbed tonight."
11:00pm "I should sleep now, but I'm EXTRA SUPER WIDE AWAKE and I might as well watch this documentary mini series on the history of paperweights because I've already invested two of the four hours."
1:00am "Still. Not. Sleepy."
3:00am "I think the painters missed a spot on the ceiling."
7:00am "I HATE THE UNIVERSE!!!"
This is my exact reaction to any alarm in the morning.
I'd forgotten what it was like to have a baby when the time changes. Baby TK usually sleeps pretty well at night, but by Sunday night she was so jacked up that it was SUPER HAPPY FUN PLAY TIME from 1:00am until 5:00am. After I placed her in her crib and was tiptoeing back to bed, thanking all the gods that I'd at least get one hour of sleep, my cell phone alarm went off. Damn all the things!! I'd forgotten to fix the time on my nightstand clock and 5:00am was really 6:00am. No sleep for the wicked. I still hate the universe.
This. So much.
Of course I'd forgotten to wash my clothes and get Mr. TK to put gas in my car. By 8:00am I was ready to tie Monday to a tree and put a bullet in its head.
Tuesday came and went in much the same fashion. Baby TK's sleep schedule is still jacked up, I'm drooling on myself from exhaustion, and the universe is still on my shit list.
Wednesday brought a new chapter to my love / hate relationship with dairy. I love cheese. It hates me. The only thing that could really cap off this week is shitting my pants at my desk. That almost happened.
I always picture Lee Corso in my tummy when I try to sneak cheese in. That's totally normal, right?
Today I managed to stagger out of my house wearing my pool shoes. I'm thirty mumble mumble years old and I forgot to put on shoes before I went out in public. This wouldn't be that bid of a deal, except my boss' boss' boss' boss and his boss (follow that?) were in town and we were supposed to look... not like we usually do. Sweeping bird flip to the universe.
Tomorrow is Friday. It has to be better, right? How can losing one tiny hour ruin everyone's lives? Don't pretend you weathered the storm with grace. I was only on Twitter for a second on Monday, but I saw your tweets. "Fuck this day in the face." "This day can just go ahead and fuck itself to death." "I want Daylight Saving Time to DIAF." Ok, some of those tweets were mine. I've resolved to move to Arizona or Hawaii in the next 360-ish days. How much do you hate this time of year? If you're from someplace that gets a pass on Daylight Saving Time, you're only allowed to comment if you don't gloat.