I really need to go grocery shopping and I was trying to figure out how to make a quick dinner out of taco seasoning, three slices of bread, Cheerios, and sea salt. That's when it hit me that if we had a storm lasting more than a few hours we would have a Donner party situation on our hands. I would never admit it to Mr. TK, but I was secretly limbering up and positioning myself near the gun safe. Someone was going to have to take one for the team, and it wasn't going to be me.
Brings a whole new meaning to "when the going gets tough..."
I used to be so good about keeping extra food in the house. I even kept a backup stash of non perishables in the guest bedroom closet back in the day. That tradition started after an ice storm left us stranded in the house for four days straight with no food. You can only eat so many Saltines and breath mints before you start to hallucinate. So, I started keeping some extra food in a closet that was for emergencies only. A smart person would have rotated out the items when they neared their expiration date. I am not a smart person. When it came time to break into our emergency stash, I no longer had boxes of breakfast bars and cans of tuna, but instead, a bedroom that smelled like an old dead hooker. Thus, the habit of storing extra food ended.
I think I've let the pendulum swing a little bit too far in the other direction, because it was not looking good this week. I had no food that could be found on any known food pyramid and our emergency supplies were low. I tossed the first aid kit a while back when the latch on the case broke and caused me to spill all 9,567,321 items across the bathroom floor when all I really wanted was one Band-Aid. Our homemade first aid kit now consists of a few bandages and several tiny liquor bottles. It saves space and is much more practical.
I know we have some hurricane lamps somewhere, but they must be in one of the unlabeled boxes. I used to have tons of scented candles that I rotated out according to season. Those were banned by Mr. TK after we lost power a couple of years ago and he started puking from the vanilla-lemon-pumpkin pie-apple spice-cotton candy combination. All was not lost though. I found the treasure trove of power outage supplies, er, supply.
Huzzah! We are saved!
The real terror hit when I realized both of our phones were about to die. I think we would last about 3.5 minutes without iPhones before we started reenacting scenes from Lord of the Flies. At least we have the iPad... Except that I forgot to charge that the night before. Oh well, the MacBook would still work... If the cats hadn't knocked the cord out while it was charging.
Shit was getting real. I didn't think we would make it through the night at this rate. Heaven forbid an actual disaster happens while I'm this ill-prepared. Without a doubt, I would be in the first wave of casualties. Thankfully the storm blew past us without any major inconvenience. I have learned a huge lesson from all of this: I am clearly not responsible enough to shepherd my family through a spring shower, let alone the impending zombie apocalypse.
Does anyone have any weather survival tips? More importantly, does anyone have any milk because I still haven't gone to the store?