Jack and Rose ruined the legacy of the Titanic. *barf*
There is at least one person on this planet (although I'm not sure he's from this planet) who thinks that global warming could've saved the Titanic. What. The. Fuck. That person is Jose Canseco. If you're not a baseball fan, you might not be familiar with our friend, Jose. He played in the major leagues for 17 seasons, most notably with the Oakland A's, Texas Rangers and my beloved Red Sox. He hit a lot of home runs and shot even more of steroids. Canseco admitted to using performance enhancing drugs during his career and wrote a tell-all book where he claimed that the majority of MLB players use steroids. You can imagine this did not go over well. Basically he's one giant douchebag.
OMG, photo from here. Hilarious. Gigundo 'roid-boy d-bag.
But this post isn't about baseball... so stick with me here. Jose Canseco is on Twitter. The twitter can be a dangerous medium for an ass-bag who has no fucking idea when to keep his mouth shut, and can't spell for shit. But he's entertaining. Some of the nonsense that comes out of his pie-hole makes me cringe. He recently posted his own fucking phone number for all his 400,000+ followers to see. Numb. Nuts.
If I still had the brain power to do #FollowFriday, I'd want everyone to follow Jose. Do it. Even if you hate baseball more than getting a trip to the vagina doctor, give him a try. (Of course, now I have this image of him in a doctor's coat saying, "scoot down a little" and I threw up in my mouth.) Just to give you a little taste... here's what happened last Sunday (in order of posting):
So has Jose gone to the Al Gore school of environmental awareness? (Yes, I favorited this one.)
Icicles? Icicles brought down the Titanic. Fucking James Cameron got it all wrong!
Global warning would've saved the Titanic? Would it have warned the captain sooner?
Uh, ok... see next tweet.
Looks like Jose doesn't give a flying fuck about the planet. Two yachts? Oh and for the record, there are no icicles in Miami. Must be too hot. Damn global warning.
If the bat was unbreakable, is Titanic really the proper name for it?
See? Fun, right? This guy is such a train wreck, I can't help but love to follow him. And don't confuse that sentence, I don't love him... only his fucked up tweets. I think he's about the equivalent of a donkey's anus. And about as smart as one.
Oh Jose, you'll have to dig Lorne Greene up to ask him anything and I'm pretty sure he can't help you get on SNL. But since you promised hugs... I'm on it. Not really.
So are you going to follow him now? Have I enticed you enough? Who's your favorite train wreck of a celebrity to follow on the Twitter? Please share so that I may have lots more laughs at other people's expense! But I'm really a nice person... I swear.
AND ONE LAST THING! ATTENTION ALL MAINE TWITARDS!!My cousin (@Double_Dippin on Twitter) and I are hosting a Maine Twitard meet-up on Wed, May 2nd at the Gritty's Restaurant in Freeport at 6pm. If you can come, please let me know before then so I can reserve the appropriate seating. Please come... I don't bite. Maybe. It will be fun!! The meet-up, not the biting. Ok, biting can be fun sometimes too.