Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Here Comes the Bride... All Dressed As Bella?

After I got engaged to Mr. Latchkey Wife, nothing made me break out into a cold sweat more than the thought of having to plan a wedding and then actually walk down the aisle in front of people. Totally not my style. And the thought of having to plan all that shit that goes along with the wedding, made me want to throw up all over myself. I'm not a good planner. At all. Which is why it was a good thing we eloped. But there are some people (and I bet some of you out there are those people) who take the art of wedding planning to a whole new level.

A few weeks ago a non-Twitarded friend of mine sent me a link to a story about a couple who recently got married... Twilight-style. Yes, they actually fashioned their entire wedding after the Edward and Bella union in Breaking Dawn, Part 1 -- right down to the pile of dead, bloody bodies at the alter. Nah, just kidding. I think. That would've been cool though. I wonder if you can rent dead bodies from the morgue for a stunt like that? *runs off to google*

The happy couple. I'm sure she'll be seeing a broken headboard in her future.

The bride, who had read the books six times and had seen all the movies (d'uh), decided she wanted to add elements from the movie into her own wedding. Even though the groom had not seen the movies or read the books, he was right on board with it all. I can honestly say that my husband would more likely wear a dress to his own wedding than agree to a Twilight theme so this guy must be really, really... special.

Many elements were included to incorporate the movie wedding. The bride teamed up with her florist to design bouquets to resemble the original flowers in the movie. The tables at the reception were named after vampire covens in the book series with the head table called "The Cullens." (Ok, this totally didn't happen in the movie or the book -- Alice just wouldn't.) They even had the Cullen crest printed on the menu. And of course, what would a reception be without music from the soundtrack.

This picture has extra special meaning... keep reading!

The replica of Bella's dress was not going to be available until after the wedding so the bride settled on a different style. Although as the wedding got closer, she contacted the designer who had the replica and was able to get the sample to wear. She still wore her original dress for the wedding and saved the Bella dress for the reception.

So I guess it's ok to get a cake-y mess all over Bella's dress?

But what kills me the most about this whole ordeal is the name change. The couple decided that they would both change their last names to Cullen. What. The. Fuck. If they name their first born Renesmee, I'm really going to fucking puke. Gross. I can't even...

I guess it could've been worse... she could've opted for something like this. In hindsight, her choices were elegant compared to this train wreck. This illuminated, massacre of a dress... someone please pass the eye bleach, stat! Oh well, I guess prom is for experimenting. And if you can't decide to bring...

$100? I wouldn't pay 100 pop rocks for this creation. 

So are you planning a Twilight-themed wedding in the near future? If so, let us know! We promise not to make fun of you. Really. Also, we are terrible liars.

28 comments:

  1. OMG, that fire and ice prom dress should just be burned.

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  2. Oh man, those people take things way too far. Also... she's read the books six times? Amateur.

    It's a good thing I got married before all this came out, because while I wouldn't have done anything obvious, I definitely would have included some subtle elements that referenced the movie... like I have in decorating my house. I have plastic apples in a bowl in my dining room, the candle set from Bella's dresser on the mantle, botanical prints of freesia, orange blossom, and lavender (why yes, I am freaking brilliant), a painting that looks like the opening shot of the Twilight trailer (but is really of the Rocky Mountains), one of the pieces of artwork from Carlisle's NM office, etc. hanging around my house. I like to have Twilight everywhere but in a less obvious way than having FSE greet guests at the door. I mean, I wouldn't mind that... but hubs said no.

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  3. Oh mylanta I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. I just can't...words fail me...that fire and ice horror dress should be shot, killed, and burned, then shot again.

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  4. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Gotta give an A for effort on that dress. That looked like a Twilight Prom at a TwiCon.
    I love the music enough to incorporate it in my wedding for sure! I would never be able to pull off Bella's dress, even w/ the BEST Spanks.

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  5. I am getting married in the end of this year. When my friends heard the news, they of course were supper excited for me. I was all smiles and happy right until one of my friends asks "Will you wear the Bella wedding dress?"

    O_o my eyes started to twitch and hands shake. Thou I am 85% sure I could pull that dress of wearing Spanx or after liposuction (and let’s face it, it was a beautiful dress), that aint my style. And what’s worst, the person who asked me is my BFF. We are like one person. We click! Or so I thought.

    Yes there will be tasteful amount of Twilight in my wedding. I will most likely walk down the aisle "Turning Page" playing on the BG...Or maybe I can get my niece play it on the piano...and most definitely I will have songs from the soundtracks in the wedding party playlist. (There are some damn GOOOOD songs on those soundtracks)

    Music is all the Twilight I will have in my wedding. Future Mr. Husband aint no Edward, I most definitely am no Bella, so why fake it?

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  6. I doubt I would have a Twilight themed wedding. By the time I get married (which would be sometime in the next five to ten years), Twilight will be a thing of the past (and believe me when I say I hate to think of it that way). Moreover, I have other obsessions (namely Harry Potter, Doctor Who, and most zombie movies).

    Don't get me wrong, I would totally incorporate Twilight in some way at my wedding. But it would be like how MCvelvetkitten described it: walking down the aisle to "Turning Page" and rocking out to "From Now On" by the Features at the reception. As for the first song, well I already decided years ago it would be "Love Don't Roam" by Neil Hannon and it's going to stay that way.

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  7. The thing that gets me is that the husband hadn't even seen the movie or read the book, yet he was willing to change his name? Can you say 'whipped?'

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  8. Why not just get a pile of zombies for the wedding? THAT would make for a BIG day! OK I know it's not canon, but still...

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  9. OMG, I have NEVER IN MY LIFE seen anything tackier than those prom dresses!!! Rip them apart and burn the pieces!
    Twilight wedding was a bit scary; although the "real" deal by Alice was totally beautiful! Also loved the music (all of it 1-4!!) That would be ok idea for any wedding.

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  10. P.S. I don't think that was a prom dress - I think she made it to wear to a ball at a Twilight convention-type thing. That makes it...better? I wouldn't wear it but I'll hand it to her - she went ALL out! Or is that all in? One of those...

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    1. At least if it was a prom dress she would have an excuse as to why she didn't have a date... she was wearing them.

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  11. Why, oh why, is there an apostrophe in "Cullen's" on that table card?

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    1. Oh Anon! Thanks for pointing that out... now that's really going to bother me for the rest of the day! UGH!!

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  12. Ok, I almost just shit my pants because the window washers just appeared right outside my window. Thank god, I was tired of looking at the bird shit. Can you imagine buying TWO wedding dresses? This wedding had to cost her a fortune. Maybe.

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    1. Did they ooooo & ahhhh over that totally rad Edward/Jacob dress too??

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  13. If I ever get married I think the only thing I would work into my wedding would be some of the the music.

    That chick gets an A++ for the effort, and having the balls to wear it (even if it was at a twi convention). Ridiculous.

    I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CHANGED THEIR LAST NAMES TO CULLEN!!! WTF is right!! That guy has got to be getting out-of-this-world-crazy-hot-sex from that woman. Holy balls!

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  14. I got married before the Twilight books were written ...but my friend got married this year and she walked down the aisle to Bella's Lullaby not even knowing what the song was called...she called it "Through the Forest"...there should be a "Twitards Only" rule if you're going to do something like that. I think I need to disown her (I may be a tad jealous).

    Srsly, that dude, there are no words to describe how much she owns his ass for him to change his friggin' name!!

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  15. What happens if/when they get divorced & they've both changed their names like morons? Was their wedding planner in 7th grade?

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  16. I'm totally speechless on this one... it's stories like this that make me feel very, very normal (so thank you for that validation!). Really, they changed their last name to Cullen???!!! You totally nailed it when you said the groom "must be really, really... special."

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  17. I'm still waiting for Vegas to open up a "TWILIGHT WEDDING CHAPEL." And you can go in and put on the dress, throw that comb in your hair, stutter and blink down the aisle...

    And if you want to pay the extra fee, they'll wheel in that pile of dead people for you. You can even wear the other dress. I think it was the prettier of the two, anyway.


    And that Edward/Jacob dress?! What a steal! I get the shoes, too! With those kick ass toe stains at the end that I can just slide right into ::vomit:: It's pretty awesome that she had the balls to do it, but ain't no way I'm gonna wear it.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. (Why did that show me as unknown? Let's try again)

      You could be a millionaire! You should totally open a Twilight wedding chapel!
      These women are nuts, but I have to wonder if they're just crazy enough to...I don't know, read this blog? Or be FFreaders that we know? LOL
      I have to give them some respect though - they have no shame in their fandom love, that's for sure. :)

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  18. I'm sorry, but that dress is a offensive...it violates my Twi-sensibilities.

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  19. The face that they changed their last name to Cullen is... disturbing. Creepy. I mean, I love the books and all but... no.

    And that dress! Gah! I'm impressed by the amount of time she obviously put in to make it but it's... horrifying.

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  20. I think there is a clarification due for the commenters: the dress at the end was not related to the Twi-Wedding. It would be worth noting that the Fire and Ice girl will have no chance of netting a groom for a future Twilight-themed wedding if she persists in wearing clothing of her own design...

    The changing of the name to Cullen is only excusable if they both had un-spellable names with very few vowels. ("Can you point me to the ballroom for the Wyczycowllitz / Kwyllezywcksky reception, please?") Cullen is a pretty nice alternative, in that case.

    And the Twilight-themed chapel is pure genius! If you live in the Las Vegas area I would suggest you start construction tomorrow.

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  21. Umm way to far...I mean, come on...I suppose she could rip it up the seam and make it into a bed spread.

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  22. I like the idea of incorporating the Twilight stuff on the wedding. But I think, incorporating the name of the characters is a little too much for me. Anyway, I would love to have the song “Thousand Years” for my wedding march. I soo love the meaning of the song and the tune!

    Libby Duppstadt

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