The Sloth
Wrong Sloth.
That's the one. Ohmahgawd it's so cute and I just want to hold him and squeeze him and love him and never put him down! He's so adorable he deserves a second look.
Adlhdlkjfdklhadjfhkfhksajdlkj!!!
I don't know what it is about them, but I love sloths—particularly baby sloths. They're just so cute and cuddly. I was seriously trying to retrofit my closet so I could have a pair of them move in and hang from the racks. I'm not even kidding. I need sloths like a fat kid needs the pope to go in the woods. (I might be mixing up phrases there.) Did you know it's illegal to own them as pets? How much bullshit is that?
Gah! Come live next to my shoe rack!
You need to sleep in my cocktail dresses.
I thought I was a bit of a freak [No comments!] until I saw the following video with Kristen Bell. She has the same obsession and reacts to meeting a sloth exactly the same way I would. We could totally be twins. You know, if I were a hot blond who was rich and famous.
Why do you have all the cuteness? ALL. THE. CUTENESS.
Then when they reach adulthood they look like they might be the serial killers of the animal kingdom. This one looks like he is thinking about ripping out your spine and using it for a walking stick. In a cute way. Awww!
Look at the baby taking a bath! Squeeeee!
How can you resist that face?
He's got a frog baby. A FROG BABY FOR CHRISSAKE!
Animal Planet had a documentary on the only sloth rescue in the world. I missed it, but I've practically been watching the YouTube videos on a loop. Here are a couple of them.
Wow... Just wow. I agree they are cute as babies & totally creepy as adults. Kinda like people.
ReplyDeleteBwahaha!
DeleteLMAO.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jAhAHOQRqE cuteness is subjecative
ReplyDeleteFirst thought... since when did Kristen Bell join the Twitarded writing staff?
ReplyDeleteNot going to make fun of you TK. Sloths are pretty cute, but I'm still in love with cats. There's more amusing videos of cats doing stupid shit on youtube than there are of sloths doing stupid shit.
I wish I had more time to watch all the cat videos in the Internet. They are priceless.
DeleteWe aren't these guys Disney characters yet?!?!?
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I love sloths. Even as adults with the lethal claws I still think they're friggin adorable. But the babies...JMFHF they are so fucking cute. Also, am I the only one who thinks skunks are cute?
ReplyDeleteNo. No you are not.
DeleteYou're not the only one. When the wee ferretface passed away, I actually did research about getting a skunk for a pet. They're very smart and loyal but holy shit will they FUCK UP your house if you leave them alone too long.
DeleteI did have a skunk as a pet when I was a kid. Her name was Daisy. She was de-scented and she just hung out and used a litter box. We got rid of her when she developed an appetite for my father's ankles.
DeleteFANFICZOMBIE
ReplyDeleteclearly we did different drugs back in the day....and for that I am grateful .... lmao!
*innocent eyes*
DeleteI know who did this to you. Does her name rhyme with blonnersun? I saw some sloths in Costa Rica. They just sat there. ...huh, that name might be appropriate.
ReplyDeleteThe day you get rid of clothes or shoes to accommodate an animal will be the day I build an Edward snowman... in Hell. While pigs fly overhead.
Buahahahahaha..... Best. Line. Ever!!
DeleteWho says I was getting rid of anything? Baby sloths don't take up much room. I'm going to have to figure something out for the giraffe though...
DeleteMy After Car - I read your comment while I was in the middle of a meeting today. Needless to say, no one could figure out why I thought financial imaging systems were so damn funny.
Delete:)
DeleteI have never heard of a sloth. J/S.
ReplyDeleteSloth love Chunk. Lol! My brother has a tshirt with Sloths face on it with this line. Classy or what?
ReplyDeleteI have loveddddd sloths forever :) I found a book for my son called "If animals kissed goodnight" and it has sloths all thru it! My husband thinks I'm a weirdo (I kinda am), but we went to a safari park near our house and the sloths were so close you could almost touch them. I was in heaven. @Banshee I think skunks are cute too! But then again I told my husband I would kiss a Galapagos marine iguana on its face if I ever had the chance.
ReplyDeleteTotally going to find this book now.
DeleteI love marine iguanas too! If I still lived near the sea I would totally keep one as a pet. Ok, so that's probably illegal, but still. I want one.
DeleteGah! That Animal Planet doc is ADORABLE!! They're so fucking cute. And...AND! They only take a shit once a week. That's it! They make the cutest damn noises when they're little!
ReplyDeleteI'm totally going to agree with the serial killer adult look, though. And I'm not sure I want something so lazy that it grows its own moss.
Ok, for some reason I can't reply, but TK, that book is amazeballs :) hope you love it as much as we do. I can recite the whole thing with my eyes closed!
ReplyDeleteOtters! Penguins! Goats!
ReplyDeleteI don't know who Kristen Bell is but that video made me laugh super duper hard.
ReplyDeleteAnd sloths are SOOOOO cute.
Baby sloths are cute. I wanna put one in my pocket!
ReplyDeleteOh MY FUCKING GOD. I have never had a phobia, never. But I do now. IT'S SLOTH. I recoil from this post. Physically recoil. Don't you even know, those things are Satan's emissaries in fur! They will bait your children with Junior Mints and hook them on crack! They will make your husband cheat on you with a ten dollar whore! They will raid your porn stash and show it to your mom! DO NOT TRUST THE SLOTHS.
ReplyDeleteAwkward confession time... My aunt gave me a stuffed sloth when I was 5. I slept with her every night until I got married, and now when he's out of town, I still kinda do...
ReplyDelete