However... there are some members of the extended family that leave
I was forced to spend the better part of Mother's Day weekend with the moron. And just like every time I see her, I wonder if this will be the time when she doesn't (a) annoy the fuck out of me, and (b) annoy the FUCK out of me. Because she really, really always annoys the fuck out of me.
I failed to follow instructions. It would've made the weekend a lot easier.
You see, she is the sibling of someone close to me. I'm convinced she must have been adopted because she is so completely different from this sibling. Even the sibling hates her company. Which is good because then I can complain to said sibling without feeling like the total bitch I am.
I'm always utterly dumfounded as to how this person has survived her nearly 40 years on this earth without being run over by a bus or murdered by her teenage child who she often treats as some sort of indentured servant. It's a strange relationship that I don't care to delve into, but let's just say she's a single mother that maybe...possibly...was not cut out for motherhood. They bicker like children and argue like siblings and leave the rest of us shaking our heads and counting the minutes until their departure.
This really has nothing to do with the post other than I sort of felt like the guy with the pet rock. Plus, it came up on imgur.com when I searched "mother's day" - go figure.
I can't say anything to TM without it being repeated several times over the next few hours, mostly out of context. It makes me not want to talk to her. At all.
Example: I was reading The Taker (a book Jenny Jerkface recommended) and she asked what I was reading. Before I could tell her, she asked me if I had heard about this 50 Shades book. I told her yes, and informed her of the type of book it was. I may have used the word "porn" to describe it. And I may have semi-whispered the word "porn" because of the particular company present at the time. For the rest of the afternoon, she kept telling everyone I was reading porn on my iPad. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but really? I told her on the hush-hush for a fucking reason!
I could go on and on and on with all the ridiculous things that come out of TM's mouth but I fear you would run screaming from your computer. So make me feel better about my weekend... and please entertain me with stories of your not-so-smart relatives and the shit they did to annoy you over Mother's Day.
For all my mom friends. Better late than never.