Sunday, June 3, 2012

Bel Ami: Pas Mon Préféré

*Spoiler Free*

This weekend has been a complete wash out 'round these parts. I think the weather dude was calling for four inches of rain in my town. If that was snow, it would be over three feet. Numerous roads have been deemed impassable due to flooding so I decided I was going to spend the day on my couch. Doing couchy things. Like watching movies.

I sort of felt like I lived here this weekend.

I got up nice and early and got myself all situated and comfy under my blankie and the power when out. What. The. Fuck? A rainy Sunday with no power sounds like some medieval style of torture. So I fell asleep. I woke up a couple hours later when the lights came on and the TV started whirring back to life. *wipes brow* That was close.

It's also the first Sunday in a long time that Mr. LKW has worked and left me with complete control of the remote. Helloooooo Movies On Demand, Bel Ami and *rawr* Robert Pattinson. I'll admit, when I saw what Time Warner Cable was charging for the movie, I nearly scrapped my plans. But the desire to see RPattz's ass crack won out.


Aaaaaaand there's $9.99 and 1 hour and 42 minutes I'll never get back. I almost wish the power had never come back on.

I'll keep my review short and spoiler free. I didn't like this movie. Frankly, if Rob wasn't in it, I would never have watched it. I thought the premise sounded boring... and unfortunately, Robert Pattinson couldn't help it. The movie was hard to follow and choppy.

I could've done with just this and no story line.

Riddle me this -- the author is French, the title is French, it was originally written in French... so why is the movie entirely in English? I mean fuck, Rob speaking French... ooh la la. I don't know why but this annoyed me; I hate subtitles but I think I would've preferred them.

I did love RPattz in period clothing. He wears it so well. And I also enjoyed him in a movie where he didn't speak in an unfamiliar accent. Although I didn't think he looked that good. I'm sure he was meant to look like he did some hard living, but I couldn't get past the constant sheen of sweat and the dark circles under his eyes. I like the Pretty to look, well, pretty.

Not so bad here... I like your hat, Rob. You can leave that on.

The ass-crack scene was a major disappointment. Couldn't they have just lingered a few minutes hours longer? It was the one thing I was looking forward to and it was over in a flash. Good thing I didn't blink or yawn, I would've missed it. Boo.

I really could ramble on and on about everything that bothered me in Bel Ami but I'll spare you the gory details. I did say this was a spoiler free post, right? I'm interested in your thoughts. Am I the only one that didn't like this film? Tell us what you thought. (Try and keep your comments spoiler free too, 'k?)

27 comments:

  1. I just watched it last week and I could have written this post. I guess I thought RP could make a bad book into a good movie. I was wrong. Oh so wrong.

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  2. I couldn't agree more. I was confused the entire time by EVERYONE affecting an English accent (often badly) on purpose in what is supposed to be a French film. I read the book and didn't like it very much either. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that I didn't like the movie.

    However, given his natural beauty and charisma, I was HOPING for the directors might spin it in such a way that you WANT to hate Gorges by just can't (Dexter?). Instead, they did their best to make him ugly and ignorant.

    All in all, not surprised they are having a really hard time finding American distribution.

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  3. I'm not hesitant to watch Bel Ami. I read the book a few years ago and didn't care for it (I have the attention span of a flea. It's almost impossible for me to finish a book unless it's on audio book or deals with Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games, or zombies). Guy Maupassant's short stories are better.

    That said, really, ass crack scene doesn't pay off? Bummer.

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  4. I meant now, not not. Christ, Ich bin ein dummkopf.

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  5. My cable provided 48 hours for $9.99. I spent an entire weekend on the couch watching it on repeat! I liked it more and more as the weekend went by, but I haven't been able to pull the trigger and rent it again.

    I didn't like the book the first time I read it, and enjoyed it even less when I read it just before the video became available. But, it was helpful to understanding what was going on.

    If any one had trouble following this, maybe it will encourage them to read Cosmopolis before seeing the movie. It's gonna be a total mindfuck.

    Annnd . . . why the fuck am I getting captchas that are so complicated????

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  6. Sorry, luvs, but i LOVED Bel Ami...I guess I had lower expectations, but really, the story/accents/confusion were moot to me...my eyes were glued to his, um, everything both times i watched it...

    i liked the rough, sweaty, angry, sad, uncouth & conniving little devil Georges...i loved watching him...oops, deleting, that would have been a spoiler, no doubt.

    soo, i will hope for a dvd soon so i can slow some parts down, i do agree that was way too fleeting a glimpse to provide much fantasy fonder...some, but not nearly enough (neither was Little Ashes, though, bummer! <- that's funny, right?) lol...

    now, i'm trying to avoid watching any more Cosmopolis trailers-i feel like i've already seen most of the movie except maybe the prostate exam (yeah, um, can't wait??)...again, hoping for a wider release (yeah, i did it again, hehehe, i'm on a roll tonite) so we can see it in a theater! also, the rain in maine is making me insane...too....(sorry, i promise, i'm done! :-)

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    1. You just rough, sweaty, angry etc., in conjunction with a sex scene that involved RPattz? SOLD.

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  7. hey, anyone watching mtv movie awards or twitter? we won again, best movie and best kiss!!! woo hoo!

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    1. I think Rob & Kristen should have won "Best Kiss" for their smooches in Cannes! : )

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  8. Hey LKW, remember yesterday on twitter when I said I wasn't gonna sully you with spoilers? Mmmm hmm. Now you know why. It was a fucking terrible movie! Only worth it for his costume and the tiny bit of buttcrack.

    Roll on Cosmopolis.

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    1. I kinda got the feeling that was the case due to your ambiguousness about the whole thing.

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  9. I am amazed at the comments here. I watched on On Demand and was very impressed by the performances and the look of the film. I can appreciate that period dramas are not everyone's cup of tea. However, I enjoy them and this was a good one.

    I hope that this is a counterbalance to what appears to be a thumbs down for this flick here- please see it. I also hope I get a chance to see it on the big screen.

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    1. Oh don't worry - we'll all still see it lol... I would probably see it in the theater if it ever gets released and plays near me (which seems doubtful at this point but still).

      And hope that you didn't feel the need to comment anonymously just because you disagreed - disagree away! LKW has thick skin and she won't lock you in her basement freezer just for thinking this movie was not sucky. Probably... Er, on second thought...

      ; )

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  10. ok ....so i didnt think it was horrible...yet i didnt think it was great either, i think rob did a good job with what he was givin, but then again i think he always does.
    i feel they could have had a bit more back story or a bit more to the story of when he ends up w the last wife, it was like he left one and and had a new one 2 days later,oh and the promise of robs naked ass was worth the 9.99.........pause it a great tool.
    i will buy the dvd when it comes out,just to add to my rob collection,might not ever watch again, but will have in case.

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    1. from what I've heard from other people who didn't like the movie -- Rob did a good job for what it was.

      And seeing Rob's naked as just may be worth the money... possibly.

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  11. Paid $9.99 to watch Bel Ami on Video on Demand (oh, the things I do for Rob...) I felt sort of...meh. I read the book and didn't care for it. But (just like Twilight), I really only watched Bel Ami for Rob. Loved angryRob, so f*ckhawt. Christina Ricci was adorable, and Georges was perfect with her. Wish I could change the whole stroy so those two cuties spent the whole movie gettin' it on. Costumes were fabulous, but I like period pieces. And that's all I have to say 'bout that.
    n

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  12. I loved the book, thought it was fantastic and was really looking forward to seeing the film. Saw it a few months ago with friends and we all agreed it was boring as hell. THey made a bad film out of a good book. THought Christina Ricci was excellent though. Didn't like Rob's hair in it, I know he was supposed to look poor, but greasy is not a good look for anyone. Hadn't realised it was having trouble getting released over there....

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  13. Thank you so much for posting. I whole heartedly take your movie reviews to heart. I will defenitley be waiting for this to be on redbox. I almost ordered it too last weekend. The 9.99 you saved me shall go towards booze instead.

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  14. Oh, I really liked it! English accents in Paris aside, I thought the costumes, cinematography, writing, and acting were good. And not just because of Rob, who still doesn't have Oscar-worthy acting skills, but was good in this one. My $10.99 got me the movie for a month, and I've watched it twice. I also liked the book.

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    1. Based on the clips and whatnot I've seen, the costumes look AWESOME. It doesn't look like there is a bad wig among them!!

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  15. I had low expectations being that the movie was made years ago with a late 2012 release date and is out on demand before the theater. I literally just rented it to watch Rob. So I wasn't disappointed. I thought it was so-so. I rented it from itunes so I was able pause and rewind the good parts... namely the few where Rob was naked (hello sex scene in the beginning) or otherwise parially naked or having sex, so that made it whorthwhile. I also really loved hearing him talk in his true English tongue.

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  16. I haven't seen it yet and I know I will, even if everyone and their mother said it was awful. Like most of you, I'm just not sure I can pass up the opportunity to check out RPattz's nekkid ass.

    When does Cosmopolis come out!!!

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  17. I loved the costumes and thought the actors did a great job. I love to see RPatz in a more demanding role like this, as he was smoldering, sexy, and angry which was incredibly HOT! I was disappointed in the plot (I didn't read the book and was left feeling *meh* about the explanation of the whole Moroccan invasion business) and also, sadly disappointed in nekkid Rob :( Turns out I think he's much hotter with his clothes on!

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  18. I didn't like it either. But I did love Rob in period clothing. It seems to suit him. I should have had a clue when I couldn't get through the first three chapters of the book.

    The director promised a scandalous DuRob. LIARS!!!

    I liked Water for Elephants, and I'm excited for Cosmopolis!

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  19. I'm so glad I read this post because I thought I was the only one who thought the movie was meh. Everyone on twitter was like OMG SO AMAZING!!! I was thinking really did we watch the same movie. I usually love period pieces and was disappointed in the story not really the acting it was ok. I do admit to starting the moving over and fast forwarding to the buttcrack scene and played that over a few times despite eye rolls for my hubs.

    Can't wait for Cosmopolis! That will be a what the hell was that kind of movie and need to watch it again to figure out what we missed.

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  20. I'm sort of kicking myself right now for not making better use of my FUCKING PAUSE BUTTON! Although I may have just kept the movie paused on the butt crack and never saw the rest of it. Hahaha!

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  21. I couldn't part with $9.99 for it. That said, I might never see it because I don't think I really want to watch it in a theater with other people either. Harumph

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