No, not like that. Those things will get stuck in your throat. Or so I've heard...
I'm talking about delicious slices of pork belly. In our bellies. I recorded a show called United States of Bacon (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) on Food Network a while ago and just got around to watching it. They profiled several restaurants and one of them was in my backyard. (All of Texas is considered a Texan's backyard, even if it is a ten hour drive.) There's a new-ish restaurant in Austin called...wait for it...Bacon. Every item on the menu contains...wait for it...bacon. They even make their own...wait for it...bacon.
Artist's rendition of TK
We were already planning a quick trip to Austin, so Mr. TK and I decided we were going to this restaurant if we had to murder everyone in our way to do it. And thus the pilgrimage began.
The back of the menu. The lighting was kind of funky, so all my pics have a pink hue.
I can tell you definitively this restaurant does not have a silent alarm behind the counter because they would have pushed it the moment I walked through the door, moaning and leaving a snail trail of drool behind me. It was like Sophie's Choice trying to decide what to order. When I was asked what KIND of bacon I wanted, I almost pulled a KStew and climbed over the counter to make out with the guy taking our order. (Too soon?)
I want all the things!
I settled on a breakfast taco with eggs, cheese, avocado, tomatoes, and the house bacon the size of a steak. ((Homer moan))
Those weird-looking brown things on the right are actually super green avocados. Stupid funky light. Seriously though, that bacon was almost a half inch thick. (There's a crass joke in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to make it.)
Mr. TK had a burger because, well, he's Mr. TK.
This is the hickory bacon and it was quite delicious. Trust.
It might have been my imagination, but I think the proprietors clapped when we left. That could be because Baby TK chose to rip out her feeding tube while we were there and was waving around used medical supplies like a flag. Or because we were there with some friends and all of our children acted like they'd never ventured outside the house and "demolishing a small restaurant" was on their collective bucket list. That's ok. We'll be back. Next time I'm going to do one of those cleansing diets for two weeks before we roll in and we're gonna DO THIS THING.