Wednesday, July 25, 2012

OH NO SHE DI-INT!!!! [Sister Snarky Guest Post!]

Oh yeah, she did.  


I had just gotten into bed last night and snuggled up to my best friend in the world, he’s bright, he’s warm, he’s  my iPad - when words of the tragedy were first leaked to the press.  At 9:33 PM, I sent my sister (Snarkier Than You) the following text:  “This just in - People mag reporting that KStew CHEATED on RPatts with her Snow White director!” Then I sat back and imagined her cursing because she fell off of her chair or bed or whatever she happened to be parked on.  I went back to the story and saw that it got even BETTER - “Oooh - US Weekly has photos!”
“NO!!!!!!”  “DOUBLE NO!!!!!” 
But the sad fact was - it was all true.  That foolish, foolish, twitchy girl had gone and done some nasty things with her (married with two kids) director from Snow White, Rupert Sanders.  The same guy who is married to the woman who played her mother in the movie.  Somehow this dramatically upped the EW! factor...
What followed was an entire day of some of the funniest, blow-beverages-out-your-nose emails that permeated my entire day.  Some highlights:

Snarkier Than You: She HAS been looking more vixen-y than usual now that I think about it... So that "cat who ate the canary" look in that comiccon pic i posted is explained. I hope she knows how to protect herself from rabid tweenagers. er, do they care about anyone but justin bieber?

 Mmmhmmm...

 Me (Sister Snarky):  I did think it was weird that she was wearing heels at Teen Choice...  She's a woman now.  
STY: Granted for someone who regularly wears chucks with designer minidresses it was an odd choice, but she does love the heels. and has rob to hold her up...  wait did you actually WATCH the TCAs???
SS: Hey, there was NOTHING else on!  The Bachelorette makes me want sacrifice myself for all womanhood.   P.S. - "Rupert"s wife "Liberty" looks like she could f*ck. Kristen. Up.  Just sayin. 
Jenny Jerkface:  LMFAO!  I told ML that KStew cheated and he snorted and said, "I could have told you that was going to happen" like he's the big KStew/RPattz authority and knows everything. 
Texas Katherine:  Was it still cheating if RPattz was there eating a Hot Pocket in the corner?  It's pretty plausible that someone named Rupert has a vagina. What's implausible is that someone named Rupert has seen a vagina. 
MYG:  And he's 40 and married? That's so f*cking Hollywood it's stupid. She could have made out with Dakota Fanning fifty times I'll bet, but where's the Kristen/Dakota scandal? Where? Shaking. My. Head.
E! immediately dubbed this “The Kristen Stewart Scandal!” (because E! puts ! on everything and everything is a scandal - because if it didn’t it would just be a channel that shows the Khardashians doing nothing all day).  
As we were all trying to make sense of this senseless, senseless act, confirmation that it was indeed true kept pouring in - starting with “Kirsten’s Shameful Admission” in which she called her full-on make-out session a “lapse in judgement” - duh.
TK:  Last time I had a lapse in judgement I bought a pair of shoes I couldn't afford. JUST SAYING.  Seriously, anyone who cheats on the mother of his children deserves to have his dick fall off. I didn't see the movie, but now I'm going to buy the DVD so his wife can get some additional money in the divorce. Once again, Team IDGAF comes out ahead. I want some chocolate. Can someone make that happen? 
Note:  We got side-tracked here for a bit when TK found some expired Nutella, JJ told her if it didn’t make her dry-heave she could eat it and then there was some talk of explosive bowels I think by TK but that might have been someone else, I don’t know - I got confused.  That’s a discussion for another day...
SS:  I do have to say (and you are all not gonna like it), there is something to be said for a guy who is all goofy and sweet and also really, really nice to look at, BUT...  If he is also not ummmm.... "skilled" in the areas that most men are not "skilled" in then even someone as hot as Rob could get boring.  There I said it.  Maybe K-Stew needed someone to throw her up against a car (that is a car, in the photos, right?) and take her.  It's hot.  The married with kids part is wrong, of course, but...
STY:  Ok i have to go find some really smoldering pics to erase the possibility of him being bad in bed from my mind (but you do have a point lol). 
Vitamin R:  Well, when you are supremely rich and famous by choice this is the shit you get to deal with. It might not be right but it is the way the world goes 'round when you are one of the most known couples on the planet. Again I ask, why all the secrecy with Rob and now this? Next thing we know she will be stealing stuff at Barney's.
Another note:  We digressed again when it was suggested that perhaps if she was going to cheat it should have been with The Huntsman, because Miley Cyrus would want to beat her up and that would be fun but then I had to point out to everyone that The Huntsman is Thor and while he is married with a new baby, he is not in fact engaged to Miley, that is the guy from The Hunger Games and therefore that death-match is off.  It was pointed out to me that I know a lot of useless information.

Wait WHAT?! I will cut a bitch!

Vitamin R:  Maybe this drama will lead to song writing and Rob will release his break-up album. I actually hope that doesn't happen...
STY:  Nothing fuels musical fire like an ugly breakup, that's for sure...  Somewhere, Oregano (which I know isn't his real name but that's all I know him as - KStew's ex who she cheated on with RPatts) - is laughing. 
Kristen issued a public apology to Rob, “Rupert” issued a public apology to his family but not one freaking person issued an apology to all of us who spent our entire day talking about this ridiculousness...
What do you think of this latest development in the new Breaking Dawn saga?

100 comments:

  1. What do I think? #1 I think anyone who thought RP-KS had a relationship that would last as long as the leftovers in my fridge are crazy. #2 - She slept with the Director? Big whoop. At least it wasn't the Best Boy, or whatever they call them on the set. #3 Can we get back to the real news, please? Where did JJ decide to hold the nuptials - it had better be someplace like the Meadowlands. There's gonna be a shitload of guests.

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    1. Aren't you supposed to sleep with the director BEFORE you get the part? I'm so confused.

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    2. Hear Hear! I really avoided all of this. I was just waiting for the Twitarded press release!

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  2. It just fucking sucks all around!!! I feel horrible for the wife and two children. I feel bad about Rob. I feel bad that Kristen's life is spent under a microscope. :( I just haz sadz

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  3. I think it makes me sad, here is why. I walked in my room tonight and Twilight was on, the prom scene. Instead of stopping.everything.and swooning. It made me sad so i turned it off. I am sad that the real life actions have remotely tainted something I love. I am sad to see our awesome fandom hurting. We are so awesome, we deserve better!

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    1. But it will bring new meaning to the whole "I never wanted anyone's blood so much" & the blood sucking scenes. At least all the movies are filmed & we don't have to sit through 2 hours of side-eyes from RPattz. Awwwwwkward.

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    2. That's how I felt, that it ruined the movies for me. I'm sure in time I will get over it though. Chocolate will help! Miley could SO whoop KStew in the WWF Smackdown. That would have really helped. Maybe she'll do it anyway cause Kristen really deserves it. How could anyone ever cheat on the Precious?!?!?!?

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  4. Replies
    1. Please share when you get some :)

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    2. I have lots. And I share.

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  5. I've always been a Nonsten, but it's totally none of my business.

    Now. What the motherfucking-fuck was she thinking? That was always my issue. I never thought she was old/mature/experienced enough (none of these are exactly the word I'm looking for) to realize what she had and appreciate him.

    I haven't walked in her shoes. But I have been cheated on and I don't think too highly of someone who is unfaithful.

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  6. I'd bet anything that she was balls deep in 50 Shades of Grey and no one -- I repeat, NO ONE -- can be held responsible for who they do during that time!!

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  7. @TK I think I have a box of Eclipse chocolates in my desk at work. Do you think they are still good?

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    1. I just found an Edward New Moon chocolate in my desk...it made me sad. It is sad moody Edward.

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  8. I am just amazed this post is fairly timely!! ;)

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  9. Omg, LMFAO! Is Rob eating a hot pocket in the corner? I love it.

    I said it before and Ill say it again, I never liked KStew. She seems like a stupid raging bitch and this just confirms it. Any girl who has Rob and fucking cheats on him with a dick nozzle like Rupert has smoked one too many joints.

    You know, shes gonna need to wear a dress made of tarp material at the next premife cause that sluts getting food thrown at her.

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    1. I couldn't agree more. My first reaction was that the Twihards and more importantly the Robsessed (because let's face it, Rob is the reason for the franchise success) were going to decimate KStew for this. I bet she actually does get stuff thrown at her at the premier.

      On a side note, does anyone else see the irony that it took KStew admitting to cheating with a married man to even acknowledge that Rob has been her BF for the past 3 years or more?

      My money is on the fact that Rob packed his shit and left the cheating bitch and now she can't get a hold of him. Her public apology is probably a desperate attempt to reach Rob.

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  10. They're too young to make it long term anyway. They both need to get on with their lives. I wish I could take away my marriage at 21... it was supremely stupid. Looking back, I should've spent 19-27 less worried about men and spent way more time doing tons of fun things I couldn't do once I had kids... like making out with more men.

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  11. Leave it to the Twitarded chicks & SS nonetheless, to make me giggle in what should be a time of deep sorrow ;) Cant' believe I'm even trying to make light of this. If you know me at all, you know I'm heartbroken. But seriously, SS has a very valid point...about him being hot, yet goofy etc...I have heard this theory from a number of people, and it's always been my own as well...he's probably not that great in bed. There, I said it....And when you're 22 & horny, you might just be tempted to cheat. We all make mistakes. I dated much much older men at that time in my life, and I can't say I wouldn't have hooked up with a married one (at the time.) Not making excuses for her at all, but we must remember she is 22. PLUS who knows if Rob ever cheated?! He may have...and may have gotten away with it. WIth who..I have no idea..but just sayin'.

    Ok seriously you guys...I'm supposed to be sulking, but I'm still snickering....I'm pretty positive this happened so that I wouldn't be sitting at home in November with a newborn stuck to my boob like a hoover vacuum wishing I was up in LA at the convention & premiere. If they break up, my desire to do those thing will dictate..sad but true.

    Ok this is such long comment...sorry! SS - you crack me up. Love you all.

    xoxo J

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    1. Um, that was supposed to say dissipate you stupid EFFING autocorrect.

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    2. OK, perhaps I'm taking this way too seriously, but .. if he's not good in bed, show him what you want. If you're not getting what you want, BREAK UP and go f*ck whomever you want (but preferably not a married man with kids). Cheating = unacceptable. It really torques me how people are making excuses for this b*tch. 22 is NOT a kid. I just think it's sad when folks are trying to shift the blame to Rob ... maybe he's not good in bed, maybe he had an affair. It's unfair to him. (And yes, I fully recognize that it's ridiculous I am even giving the whole thing this much thought!)

      -- Reblit

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    3. Hear fucking hear! Even if she hadn't cheated on Rob (which is unforgivable enough by itself) what she and that douche did to his wife and kids is completely unforgivable. 22 is young, but old enough to know better, for fuck sake.

      As for Rob being lousy in bed, he might just need to be whipped into shape. I'd be happy to help ;) I wonder if I still have my crop from my horse riding days...

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    4. FYI - I'm not making excuses for her or saying what she did is acceptable. I was trying to find humor in a very humorless situation...leave it to Twitarded to make me do that. And yes, 22 is young...and you do stupid things when you're young. Not all of us...but some do. You learn from them and never make them again. I feel terrible for Rob.

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    5. Sorry, I got a little over zealous there. It's just I know how those kids feel (except this media crap has to make it a thousand times worse) so cheating is a bit of a sore spot for me. I wasn't taking the moral high ground or anything.

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  12. I'm surprised it has lasted as long as it has! That Comic Con show she put on was a huge, gigantic clue that all was not well in Robsten land. It's not nice to say but I've always suspected she has more miles on her than Rob does. I've been wondering when one of them would cheat, not if some cheating would happen. KStew & Rupert aren't very nice people, it seems. I feel sorry for Mrs Rupert and, of course, Rob.

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    1. No one is EVER as lovey-dovey and affectionate as someone who has cheated and realized they made a colossal mistake (I'm looking at YOU, ex-boyfriend who forever ruined flowers for me).

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  13. Lol @Kerri! I think it's funny that it took this to happen for her to release a statement saying how much she "loves & respects" Rob!

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  14. I just did the same as her. Cheating on my longterm bf with an older man far, far away from my home. Just for a very short amount of time. So i can feel with her and I can feel with him :(. I still regret it and my bf hasn't left me. But I also didn't cheat because I just felt like it... There were several reasons for that.
    I just hope they two figure it out together and if Rob takes her back then she should really get her shit together just like me. Sometimes it can be a new start for the relationship. But her cheating is like 10 times worse with the media and maybe Rob not knowing until yesterday...

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  15. Oh man, I'm so so happy you guys actually posted about this (and on time, WHAT?!?), I mean, I was really weirdly down about it and your jokes lightened it up, so thanks!! I think we all KNEW she was going to cheat, eventually, but not like this...married man, kids, sloppy slurp out session in public, NOT COOL! It was obvious Patty was waaayyy more into this chick than she him, but still -- couldn't she wait at least til next year? or be a little more discreet, like say go indoors? I hate to say it, but this has put a major damper in my wanting to see BD2, and I so wish it didn't! I think your commentary may help me through, lol!

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    1. I am just going to lift this entire passage that I read at Jezebel.com yesterday because, well, just read it -

      Lo, and birds will fall dead from the sky, fish will float dead to the surface of the ocean and the email service on your smartphone will cease to work for approximately 10 minutes, for Kristen Stewart has allegedly cheated on Robert Pattinson with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. The photographic evidence of their makeout session will be released in the next issue of US Weekly. Sanders is 41, married to a model for British Vogue and has two young children.

      I have one very important question, which is why the FUCK would you guys be making out on the street where paparazzi lurk and your significant others will therefore inevitably catch you? K-Stew alone is financially able to rent every single room and the bar in a hotel made of gold leaf and Queen Elizabeth II's panties and the fleeting dreams of children.

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    2. I thought the same thing. Why are they mackin' in the middle of the damn street? The papz is like 50 feet from them! Are they blind or was the guy hiding in a bush?

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  16. This is all very sad and whilst I don't condone this kind of stuff, I think we need to remember Kristen is 22 years old. God knows if I'd been in the spotlight at that age I wouldn't have been an angel!

    I hope that she and Rob can work through this together. I hold on to the thought that they're serious enough about each other to not throw it all away and I also hope that what we have been told (or rumoured, whatever) is a blown-up version of reality.

    I think these two have sensible enough heads on their shoulders to talk to each other rationally and not get caught up in the media sensationalisation.

    Meanwhile twitter can be a fucking scary place to be. This is one of the times I hate the social media age, the age of immediate need for information. Then I realise that's what brought me to you ladies and I reconsider my feelings...

    I do think they make a great couple and I hope it all works out, but at the end of the day? It's THEIR business. Not the media's. Not ours. Much as we may feel like we 'know' them, we do not, and they deserve our respect and privacy, like any other human beings in the world.

    *ranty kiwi out*

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    1. Right on, twikiwi! All we know about is some make out session in the car, right? And maybe some flirting? I am trying not to be too judgy! My fanfiction-addled brain wants to believe this is just a bump in the road and they will end up happily ever after...or it turns out to be some crazy publicity stunt. I am just very glad I am not her. I can't imagine having to have every mistake I made in my twenties broadcast for the whole world to see. I wouldn't have any friends, that's for sure! Imagine your most shameful moment, not only known by everyone you pass on a sidewalk, but to have the evidence of that shame plastered everywhere. Ugh. I feel sorry for both of them. Rob didn't deserve this, but I hope they can keep a level head and not blow it completely out of proportion.

      Now, the director....I would have his balls. No. Doubt. I hope his wife gets every penny he earned from swath.

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    2. Wow. Just wow. It's only a make-out session and some flirting, so it's OK? I'm astounded, truly. The director is MARRIED and has CHILDREN. Rob will look like a total pussy if he takes her back.

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  17. I think Kristin is going to have to watch her back at the BD2 premiere, not that I think he would deliberately incite anything against her, but he could raise an ahhhmee of fans to smite her in about.2 seconds without even trying.
    I feel badly for everyone who got hurt by this and don't like the gleeful tone I've see in a lot of fan comments, just because we have a nice juicy scandal right when everyone was getting bored with Twilight. I understand missing the intensity it all used to have though, and I even ended up re-watching Eclipse tonight; it made the commentary a lot more interesting.

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  18. Serious for a moment. I can't help but think it is sad that when she FINALLY admits her love for him, it's because of this? And yeah, it's none of our business, but we all know it happened and there it is.

    So, where do we order the Rupsten t-shirts?

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    1. ROFL!!!! Rupsten t-shirts...Bwahahahah!!

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    2. LMFAO. I am such a bitch 'cause I think the Rupsten t shirt is hilarious!

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  19. My ex's mistress was totally kstew's doppelganger (which made watching twilight weird (also the acting, writing, directing, etc.)), so my first reaction was, "it's universal: that's the face of a girl who will fuck a married man." But yeah, she's young and probably hasn't had normal growing up experiences to help her make good decisions. The real Douche Bag Award goes to the director. Dude should have just bought a whole bunch of Porsches like other mid-life-crisising folks.

    Also, what kind of baffles me is that they were uber private about their relationship, and then kstew issues a public apology? Why does the public need to hear her apology? If she really respected Rob, wouldn't she stay under the radar as much as possible so as not to add fuel to the fire? Makes me wonder how much of this drama is orchestrated.

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    1. I thought the same thing. We hadn't really heard much about it, and now she is going to be in the next issue of people. It sounds very publicity stunt to me.

      I will say this: while I agree that it was just about the dumbest of dumb things to do, I cannot imagine living life in her shoes. Going such long periods of time without seeing your significant other. Being all but sequestered while working and building weird bonds with people because of proximity

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    2. Agree! Like them coming out as a couple and then a terrible break up. Sounds fishy to me. But then that would make all of them a bunch of tools (I can't think of Rob & the wife as tools & certainly not the kids) idk

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  20. http://rotemnews.blogspot.gr/2012/07/kristen-cheats-on-rob-absolute-proof.html

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  21. That apology seems more like Summit and less like KS.

    No camping out in the bitter cold for me to see the midnight showing of BD 2...I will wait for the reduced rate...or maybe rent the DVD.

    Cheating...tsk tsk...and sneaking around in cars...wow..high school much? I do hope that R & K will be over, and R will go on and do some great flicks. Hollywood relationships are a joke. The next best screw to get to the top is what the majority looks for.

    And SWATH director wife....take all you can get honey, and then some.

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    1. I figure they threatened her with flying commercial coach during the BD2 press tour...

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  22. I'm still suspicious of this whole thing. The public pictures, the public apology... something isn't right. I'll be putting my head back into the sand now. *sulks*

    Also, I am SO GLAD that I wasn't in the spotlight at 22... or younger.

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  23. First off, since i have been heads down in work for the last week (and not some married 40 year old with kids) I need to congratulate JJ on the engagement! I am so happy for you and ML!!!!

    This just makes me sad, but like others on this blog I was first concerned when KStew showed up to ComicCon with either a set of fake tits or wearing three padded bras (trust me and my A's this works wonders - just not when it is 100 degrees out - don't trust me, YouTube Jenna Marbles - it will change your flat chested life).

    I digress....

    I have been in a constant state of anger and sadness since yesterday morning.

    Sad - for Rob and all those who get publicly humiliated

    Sad - for the wife and kids who now will have to go to every grocery store and see these pictures in full view

    Angry - that all of a sudden I cared that Robsten even existed...I have lived the past 3 years on team IDGAF because I am a happily married 30+ woman who lives in the real world and I am a fan of Rob and Twilight and I just want people to be happy. (I will admit though that I did smile every time I saw I happy Robsten photo in a glossy over the past few years - they were cute tougher and took some good photos)

    Angry - that I let twitchy KStew into my heart - I hated her in Twilight. It wasn't until well into New Moon press that I could start to accept her twitchy stuttering asre as Bella and then she sold me in BD1. And part of the reason I liked her was for keeping a private life and trying to keep a low profile even when fans and photographers stalked her. Then BAM!!! She ends up cheating with a married man with children who is sort of her boss in broad f-ing daylight in a vacant parking lot!!!!!! She is no hipster - she is a total Hollywood cliche and disappointment. You are up there with Tori Spelling and LeAnn Rhimes - put that in your bong and smoke it Stewster!!! Plus, I feel like she was just begging to get caught, I mean, who does that????

    Angry/Sad - because I remember that she sort of ditched "oregano"/"Elliott from Will & Grace" to be with Rob and so once a cheater/ditcher always a cheater and looking for a better offer. Also Oregano was her costar in Speak so maybe she will be that girl who dates costars and since Twilight took 5 years to film it wasn't a problem with Rob until now - out of sight out of mind????

    I am still pissed that I even care about this, but then I remember that it was my love for Twilight that brought me to this blog so that makes me happy because you h00rs (not KStew) make me laugh and almost piss myself.

    xoxo

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    1. Exactly what I thought. You said it perfectly.

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    2. exactly. It's like she cheated on US too. sigh.

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    3. Agreed, on a few points. I am mad that she cheated on Rob, b/c that's wrong but DOUBLE WRONG that dude was married w/ young children. I am mad b/c so may KStew fans are throwing out words of support. Wha....WHAT?!?!?
      Why support a liar? A cheater? If Rob had been the 1 caught cheating I doubt Kstews fans would've been so kind.
      I don't agree with so many saying she's "just a kid" she's 22 yrs old. Not a kid. And out of sight out of mind? So as long as twilight was being filmed & Rob was up her ass she could maintain fidelity. Well Rob if you want KStew committed to you I think your going to have to cast that half cocked buffoon of an actress in ALL of your films. B/c if you're not around like 100% of the time she will cheat. And that will he a problem w/ you're choice of careers.

      She cheated/ditched Angarro (I hope he's laughing about this) to be with Rob, now she gets caught cheating ON ROB, with a married (w/ kids) director.
      Once a ho always a ho.

      I hope Rob gets away from that skank. And everyone who "hopes the work it out", shame on you. We should want more for the precious. KStew's fidelity is a shaky thing & theirs a pattern of ugly here from start to finish. Yes she's "only 22" but that's old enough to realize that fucking/fooling around with a married man is wrong.

      Now her camp is saying she didn't have sex with the director. Well of course she didn't! It's as if they are saying, "pics or it didn't happen". I think she did, she can just SAY she didn't b/c she wasn't caught doing THAT. Everyone on this blog should read if they haven't already the tweets about how this isn't real, it's fake from Kstews fans. They are funny as hell.

      Rob, sweetheart, you gorgeous man, find a woman that deserves you.

      And ladies quit making excuses for KStew. Like, she's SOOOOO YOUNG, or maybe Rob was bad in bed. She cheated, she was caught & no matter what, cheating is totally wrong. I think we all have had indiscretions & they weren't overlooked b/c we were young or our man was bad in bed. So let's not give KStew a free pass based on the reasonings either.

      I love this blog & I love reading EVERYONES COMMENTS. All of you are hilarious.

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  24. Ok, we were heading into the summer doldrums just waiting for November to roll around when this story explodes. It reminds me of a story I was reading on Twilighted... I must go check and see if that story has been updated... but there is just so much to see now on the internet, the pictures ooooooooooooooohh, the comments ehhhhhhhh. I haven't laughed this much in a long time. How could she cheat on the hotest guy on the planet??? How could she be so stealth concerning her love affair w/Rob & so unbeleiveably stupid er...out there with 'he who should remain nameless'.

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  25. I can't rouse the energy to give two fucks about this but I LMFAO at this post. She's 22 and I wear shoes older than her. I have a daughter her age and at 22 you don't know shit.

    What is up with her boobs? I mean... she looks like she has some.

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    1. Yeah, she's 22 but even if "at 22 you don't know shit", you still know married men as a rule are off limits technically. Age shouldn't be a basis for her to have a free pass here. She cheated on Angarro, now Rob.
      Shes an idiot.

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  26. I'm with @My After Car, this whole thing seems suspicious. When USWeekly broke the news, I didn't believe it, thought it was bullshit. Only when People got on board did I start to semi-believe it (what can I say, I TRUST People lol don't ask) but even then it was only half-hearted. For a couple that has been so secretive (even though it was pretty obvious that they were together), it's just odd that kstew issued a very public apology for her indiscretions...

    If they don't figure their shit out before November, it's going to make for one AWKWARD BD2 premiere!

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  27. When I saw the article yesterday, I dismissed it as pure bullshit, but once the evidence (pictures), the admission and the apologies started pouring out, I began to feel bummed. I've always known that Kristen and Rob would break up (because that's only natural), it just never occurred to me their relationship would end with such a huge, humongous bang.

    Now I'm wondering how this will affect my enjoyment of BD2. Will I just sit there with a "you stupid girl" expression on my face, or will seeing Rob on big screen again erase all this nastiness? I guess time will tell.

    In any case, sad for everyone involved - us included.

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  28. WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I offer my love 'n devotion to sweet, delicious Rob and PISS ON Kristen. FOR SHAME!!!!!!!! Scarlet letter A on you little missy. I hope Liberty meets your ass in a dark corner of a theater, twines her fingers in your hair and snatches you bald headed, smacks your creamy white cheeks and kicks you in your v-jay-jay! * cough * so now that I've said it, I feel better.

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    1. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

      Thank you. Well done.

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  29. This is a sadness ;)

    1. @TdotTwiFic ~ you give me hope for the future! The photos could have been photoshopped and the public apologies could have been made up. And Kristen letting ANYTHING happen in the public view? I highly doubt it. I LOVE Robsten - a bit of real-life Twilight... but I do have a hard time believing that Rupert's family would be okay with being dragged through the mud for publicity. Which takes me to #2

    2. Why a married man with kids, Kristen? I don't care if she is 22, that's no excuse. I did some DUMB shit when I was 22, but that would never have been an option. Married is married and wrong is wrong. Same goes for Rupert. And hurting Rob is awful too - he seems to worship the ground she walks on, and you DEFINITELY don't find that kind of a guy every day.

    I sure hope it's all lies. If it's true, I am MAD at my mind-friend Kristen. She was #3 on my list of "if-I-were-to-go-that-way"s... now I will have to find someone else to fill the void...

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    1. #2 - I totally agree. The only thing worse than playing around with a married man (with kids to boot) is BEING that married man. They are both douchebags. Age - old and young - is no excuse.

      And really - from what I understand he calls her up, she races off to meet him and they end in a heated make-out session. Doesn't sound like a one-time thing to me.

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  30. I can't believe anyone wants Rob to stay with her. I say: Dump the bitch. Even the idea that she is trying to pitch this as a fleeting thing is repugnant. So, she was just driving around, minding her business, when the married director calls her and they end up with his face between her legs? And this has never happened before? Riiiiight. What makes it more humiliating for Rob is the photographic evidence. I read somewhere (don't know if it's true), that there are more photos, including her giving the guy a BJ. If he stays with her, he looks like a chump. I've always thought she was trash. She portrayed herself as this cool chick who is above it all, and she's ended up as the biggest cliche there is.

    -- reblit

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  31. The thing that really gets me is that she knows she is always followed by cameras. Why would you suck face in public?
    Ugh. I feel like I was cheated on...

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  32. This is, hands down, the best thing I have read during this shitstorm. I am torn. First, I can't believe I am this invested in these two. What am I, 15 again and whining because Simon LeBon got married? No wonder I forget what day it is.

    Second, I feel really sad for Rob and the wife/kids. What a crap thing to do. No other way to say it. I propose that she wanted to get caught. Didn't she say somewhere that she is bored with her life and wanted drama? You got it, honey.

    Third, Rob needs to move on. He is young, gorgeous and rich. He also seems completely adorable and sweet. I feel like setting him up with a nice girl who won't break his heart.

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  33. I said 2 years ago she was gonna pull a "Mena Suvari" and hook up with some older, ugly director because it was obvious she considered herself a "serious actress" while Rob was just a pretty boy wannabe. *rolls eyes* I can't believe I even had an opinion on this. I'm going to read a non-fiction book on some displaced minority group now. I need to scrub the stupid from my brain.

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  34. Apology my ass. She's just distraught she got caught. This just confirms what an uneducated, white trash loser she is. Dump that bitch!

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    1. Amen! Dump her skeezy cheating ass. But we must remeber this is what she did to Michael Oregano. When shes bored she cheats. Whore!

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  35. Thank you for the hilarious post! PERFECT antidote to all the nonsense and speculation posted by the gossip and "news" sites. Both KStew and Rupert are stupid and selfish, they deserve each other.

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  36. Oh wait!!!! and is it true she is wearing Rob's hat as she is driving off from the make out session???? Double mean!

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  37. Yep, douchebaggery galore.. i just can't believe she did all this while wearing his baseball cap. :p Age isn't an excuse, she just stepped into the dirty whore/ white trash cliche category for me. I can't even imagine how awkward the publicity tour is going to be for BD2 . Looks like he moved out already, so hopefully he has brains as well as looks, and he takes some time off in the Northern Michigan area.. because really, no one would bother him here.. Just sayin.. :D

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  38. Call me old fashioned, but she is just a whore to me now that she cheated with a married man. She doesn't deserve Rob. They need a break anyway. And, I'm just thinking ahead to the promo tour they normally do TOGETHER for BD. That is going to be weird.

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  39. Man, when I was 22... holy crap. Slut city. I was single and going to school in Hawaii. Just sayin...

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  40. PS. What she did was WRONG! And who the fuck cheats on Edward Cullen? Geez.

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    1. Seriously! Who is going to get custody of Renesme?

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  41. Please, please tell me she was on drugs? Drunk? Cheat on Robert???with that???? come the F*** on!!!!

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  42. I just have to say...there's no fuckin way RPattz is bad in bed. He wasn't that goof ball during the first Twi promos. We saw the sexiness then, he has since tried to cover it up and save it all for KStew. Boy is way too attentive not to please his partner. He has it in him. You can't fake a sex stare like that.

    KStew is fucked. She may turn to shoplifting or head shaving in the near future.

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    1. I was thinking the same thing all day at work after reading that this morning....NO-WAY is he bad in bed....did you see him put that chick against the wall, it whatever that movie was Remember Me that's it and I do..he was so hot.

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  43. The majority of the vitriol should be definitely be directed at Rupert "Midlife Crisis" Sanders, shame on him.

    In all probability, Kristen got caught up with this loser probably because he seemed mature, exciting and in charge (whilst directing the film). Seems to me Rupert was thinking only with his penis and his family were secondary.

    Kristen and Rupert got caught out because they were hot for each other and from the pics it didn't look like a one off thing, it seems definitely way too intimate for a first encounter.

    As for Kristen, I just feel sad, she will be forever be lumped in with the LeeAnn Rimes of this world.

    Chicks always get treatment that is way harsher than the dudes when it comes to laying blame.

    I think Kristen is one talented girl, who is much less mature than we all thought and mistakenly got swayed by a dude who definitely should have known better.

    I loved Robsten while it lasted, they made me happy.

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  44. Way to make yourself into a stupid cliche KStew. You are now the trampire. Not really surprised by this...she never really seemed that into Rob. She tried to downplay their relationship from the start. Rob did not deserve this shitty treatment. I am proud of him for cutting her loose. How can any relationship recover from that level of public humiliation? They are like spoiled little brats who think they can have whatever they want. Guess what, there are consequences to your actions. They both will lose the people they claim to love and I hope it costs them dearly. Young and stupid is not a defense. Mid-life crisis? Guess Kristen was cheaper than a Porsche. This kinda ruins fan fic for me. I can't picture Kristen as the devoted Bella anymore.

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    1. I could never picture her as Bella anyway. Dredging up old twi-demons now but I always pictured Bella as Kaya Scodelario after watching the episode in the second season of Skins when Effy takes care of her mother who is zonked out on prescription meds. Now that girl can play nurturing and devoted!

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  45. These comments have been keeping me highly entertained the entire day while I was at work, sneaking peeks on my phone.

    I agree with a lot of what so many of you said. Personally, the bottom line for me is... I don't really care because it's a personal situation that happened to a very in-the-spotlight couple, if that makes sense. I mean, yes, it sucks that she cheated on him because cheating is a super shitty thing to do.

    But I think Rupert here is a the biggest dick of them all (and not in the good way). Cheating on your wife and the mother of your children is just... asshole-y. Super, totally, beyond asshole-y.

    And I think the whole "public apology" thing was straight up dumb. Who put them up to that??? The only people they should be apologizing to are the significant others they've betrayed.

    Oh, and WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY SMOOCHING OUTSIDE??? That just blows my mind. Kristen Stewart can't wipe her own ass without the paps trying to snap a picture. I just don't get it.

    Rob - I sure am sorry she did that. If you want to chat or have angry rebound sex, you just let me know.

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  46. Look, maybe the girl was in the middle of reading 50 Shades or something... no excuse I know. I know what you mean about the public apology, she's obviously feeling as guilty as hell and has seen how much it's hurt Rob. Changing the subject, am so excited Rob is coming to Australia in 6 months to film The Rover with Guy Pearce! and Rob, put me down 2nd on the list for angry rebound sex.

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  47. She is very young.

    Did she even get to finish high school (with her celebrity and busy work & travel schedule)?

    And she earned how much money last year?

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  48. The last year & a half have been a nightmare for me, since I found out that my husband of 23 years was cheating on me (we have 4 kids) with a slut he works with, who is 20 years younger than I.
    My only escape has been Twilight-----at least in that world there existed a truly honest, faithful, loyal, devoted gentleman.
    How could Kristen do that to Rob? & how could Rupert do that to his wife & kids?
    I am trying to reconcile with my husband, to keep my family together for the kids, but it makes me nauseous to be close to him now. If there were no children involved, no way would I have gone back with somebody who did that to me.
    Trust me, Rob will never feel the same way about Kristen.
    It's his decision, but he should be with somebody who would never do something like that to him.
    Rupert's wife will never feel the same way about Rupert. Rupert & Kristen ruined something very precious----an intact family. There is enough money there that Mrs. Rupert can live well with the kids without that sleezeball.
    My heart goes out to Rob & Mrs. Rupert----I know the pain they are in.

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    1. THIS. This is why I can't abide folks who are trying to give Kristen a pass -- she's young, she didn't know what she was doing. she's sorry. (And, yes, I'm focusing on her because she's famous, but Rupert is equally to blame.) There's never can excuse for cheating. It's all bullshit. I'm sorry you're going through this, and hope you can come to peace with his actions.

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  49. MyHeartGoesPitterPattinsonJuly 27, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    I am so trying to not have an opinion on this b/c I think it's really unfortunate that something so personal has become so public. That being said, What the fuckity fuck was that fucktard thinking? I'd like to make two points that have already been made I'm sure but just keep running through my mind: 1) She barely acknowledges their relationship and appears to barely be able to tolerate him in public and goes as far as to say in an interview "I would never cheapen my relationship by discussing it." Okay, fair enough but everything you have done to "respect" your relationship kind of goes out the window when you publicly mouth rape another dude. Apparently that doesn't cheapen a relationship. Now you just look like a bitch for dodging Rob's smooches and attempts at hand holding in public. and more importantly 2) Umm...that didn't seem like a momentary indiscretion. I can't think of one time that the moment some dude got in my car I was sucking face like that within 2 seconds unless there was some pretty serious previous sexual history there. I'm pretty sure even a hooker and "regular" client transaction moves slower than that.

    Also is it sad that it has actually crossed my mind before that in the one in a bajillionth chance I ever had a shot with Rob, it would probably never work out b/c if anyone ever ran to the tabloids about my 22 year old self's indiscretions, well, I just don't think his handlers would allow our fantasy relationship to continue. I wasn't even that bad but I did attend college, I mean, there's been no home wrecking but general college student tom foolery would be enough to prevent that from ever working out. Thank god camera phones didn't take off until right after I graduated. Holy shit. Some serious bullets were dodged with the perfect timing of that technology.

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  50. Some of these comments got me thinking...

    This relationship with Rupert could have been ongoing for months and they just got careless. Think about how long ago they started work on SWATH. And suddenly, just now, months and months after wrapping, after all the press is over, they have their "momentary indiscretion?" I don't buy it.

    I hope Rob is strong enough to walk away. He just seems like he gave her is whole heart and I'm afraid that he will take her back in the end. Unfortunately, I've been cheated on and they can NEVER get back what they had. So sad.

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  51. Evidence shows that she cheated. However, it does all seem fishy to me, so I also wouldn't be surprised to find out, all said and done, that it wasn't real. If not, yeah and relief! If so, I still want to believe that their love is the real thing and they can work through this. My husband and I have been together since we were 16 (we're now 40) and married at 19. I made the huge mistake of having a very brief affair when I was 26. It wasn't because I didn't love my husband or that he was bad in bed (he was and still is the best lover I've ever had). I felt emotionally smothered by him and frustrated that I repeatedly told him what I needed and he ignored me. It was stupid, I was sick at myself, and I wished I could take it back (I still do). We worked through it because we can't see our lives with out each other in it. The trust is back. Our communication skills our better. I would kill myself before I would ever put us through that again, before I would ever see the pain in his eyes. He had nightmares about me killing him. It was devastating. Couples CAN get back what they had. If the love is true and meant to be. We each know this and respect this is the most important thing we need to nurture and charish (along with our children) because we know what if felt like to almost lose it.

    So, I hope if they are meant to be, they work it out. And if she can't stay away from the sexy of seduction for the sexy of Rob, she is an idiot who doesn't deserve him

    Also...there is no way that Rob is bad in bed. The way he uses his hands (and have you seen his tongue action?!), I just can't believe he'd be a bad lover. AND I have a hard time believing he has a small dick and doesn't know how to use that either. In my mind goofy = eager to please and studious. Anyone with me here?

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    1. Thank you for very honest comment. Seriously. :)

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    2. I just read through that and I realized that I made it sound like my cheating was my husband's fault and that is sooooo not true. The blame soley lies with me. I was selfish, weak, and angry with my husband for those reasons and instead of talking to him, I strayed. My husband was a totally innocent party.

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  52. OK, I'm going to opt for the 'conspiracy theory' on this whole story. I truly can't believe that she is that fucking stupid -- I'm with JJ on this - how can she go YEARS without a pap of her and RP smooching, and then - BAM - she gets caught with this douche bag? Here's what I think: they are secretly planning a wedding (she and RPatz) and they made this whole thing up to say a big FUCK YOU to the paps, etc. etc. There are many many holes in my theory, the least of which is now they are ruby red-hot for the paps. I mean, really gals (and guy lurkers) -- would you really ever cheat on the World's Hottest Man if he were seemingly devoted to you? Gah- makes me sick to think about. She will regret this for the REST of her life (very sad) if this is not a joke.

    I read not long ago that she said she'd never had her heart broken and almost wanted to experience the drama -- maybe she was just playing chicken and lost - BIG TIME. Poor Rob!!

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  53. I have a small bet with my hubs that this is a distraction from their wedding! :)

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    1. thinking the same here...

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  54. How about this? Blame it on Stephenie Meyer!

    Didn't The Saga teach us that a plain, average, nobody-special girl can do what ever she wants to, and the most perfect male specimen on the planet will stand by and do anything, give her anything - including forever?

    That's it! Kristen really believed she was Bella, and Rob was Edward, and he would be waiting patiently for her to return after a romp with any stinky wolf that came sniffing around. It's so clear to me now. She is the victim!

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  55. I so want to see her get boo'd at her next red carpet event like Princess Buttercup did in The Princess Bride. " Boo! Boo! Boo! You had true love and you threw it away. Bow down to the queen of filth, the queen of garbage, the queen of putrescence.". Gah, tried like the devil to get the you tube link to post but it won't. You can Google it. Haha

    All of you thinking that this is a stunt or that they can work it out are delusional. Stick a FORK in this one cuz it's done.

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  56. Can't believe how much attention I've been paying to this drama. Olympics? What Olympics? Hands down, she doesn't deserve him (and in my opinion never did). She is Trampstew and I hope she gets booed off the carpet at BD2. Love all your comments, this is the best coverage of all. They will not work it out, he will not take her back. He is a gentleman with pride and look at his parents, they would never encourage him to do that and I think he is a one-woman family type guy. Lepords do not change their spots. If she did it once, she'll do it again. Rob, move on. We will always love you.

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  57. When somebody gives you their heart (like Rob did to Kristen & like Liberty did to Rupert), don't step on it (for your own selfish immediate gratification, not caring what it will do to them.)

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  58. I love them both.
    THEY. ARE. KIDS.
    Crazy pressure.
    I could not cast the first, nor any stone.
    Hope it gets worked out.

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  59. We are ignoring the actual issue here: ROBERT PATTINSON IS SINGLE! I mean, yes, we should give him an appropriate grieving period. But as soon as that period ends all bets are off! Or at least I will feel much less guilty for "stalking with the intention to fornicate." Or however the police will write up the paper work.

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