Sunday, July 15, 2012

Pigs Scare Me.

“I don’t eat pig meat” is a phrase that would never tumble from my lips. But after a co-worker said this to me during one of our Friday night in-office happy hours, it really got me to thinking of my love for the pig. I was mortified at her abhorrence to bacon. As far as I’m concerned, bacon makes the world go ‘round. A world without bacon is like the feeling you got as a kid when you realized Santa Claus wasn’t real. Seriously, you could wrap a piece of dog turd in bacon and it would probably taste awesome.

Do I need to say more?

Once on the subject of pigs, I have a hard time keeping my social skills in check - not really aware that some lines of conversation may be a bit too graphic for the normal person. Sort of like most of my conversations. You might be aware of this if you know me in real life or follow me on Twitter. Sorry.

If you’ve ever seen the show Deadwood, you know the power of the swine. Dead bodies are often tossed into Mr. Wu’s pigpen for disposal. And dispose of the bodies they did. Pigs are omnivores and they will eat humans given the chance. They’ll also eat other pigs. Pigs are known to devour an entire body, even crushing and swallowing the bones. Makes getting rid of the evidence pretty easy on a pig farm. *duly noted for possible future use (you know, if my freezer gets too full)*

Not too scary now, pig. Just delicious.

We have friends that have raised pigs for food the past couple of years. And contrary to the belief pigs make good pets, I would beg to differ after witnessing these mean motherfuckers. I think they're talking about potbellied pigs. Our friends' pigs were obnoxious, destructive and almost aggressive towards them. Nearly knocking them down when it came to dinner time. Did these pigs actually know their fate? Was this why their manners towards their captors were less than acceptable? And once we passed along the little fact of a pig’s taste for human flesh, well, the trips into the pigpen where brisk. *insert evil laugh here*

If pigs didn't scare the living bejeezus out of me, and smell like shit heated up in a microwave, and, well, want to eat me as much as I want to eat them, I'd probably suggest to Mr. LKW that we get a couple to fatten up for a few months. But yeah. Those things I just said. *shivers* Although one year we did win the 4H Pig Raffle at the local county fair and man was that sucker delicious. Like seriously the best fucking bacon ever!

Bacon is so amazing, people even write poems about it. Seriously awesome poems.

While I’ve never been a big fan of pigs in general, pig meat is my favorite. From bacon to pulled pork to a nice ham steak to pork chops, I’m fairly certain I could live off the other white meat. What's your feeling on bacon? Let's share out favorite bacon meals in the comments... I could use some new ways to eat it!


  1. Hmmm. What can I say about pigs?

    1. In a previous life, I was in a pre-veterinary program at NC State. On the day we had to castrate little baby piglets, I hid around back of the barn the entire time. They were so cute! I couldn't bear to make them squeal like that!

    2. For our wedding reception, we had a pig-pickin' at our house. The BBQ King came and roasted a whole pig in our back yard all day. Totally awesome-sauce!

    3. I love bacon!

    1. We had a pig roast for our wedding reception too! Yee haw!!

  2. maple bacon cupcakes! seriously the best cupcakes EVER!

    1. Sounds interesting... and sort of delicious.

  3. Mmmmmmmm.
    Tonight for dinner we had St. Louis BBQ pork steaks, pork ribs, baked beans with bacon crumbles...I even put bacon crumbles on top of my deviled eggs. Delish.

    I'm hungry again.

    1. Bacon crumbles on deviled eggs sounds absolutely heavenly. My mouth is watering as I type.

  4. Bacon wrapped around oysters and broiled! My favorite way to eat both.

  5. I like to order bacon on my veggie burgers! Freak'n delicious!
    PS been a lurker for years now..... working up the courage to introduce myself....

    1. OMG! One of ML's bandmates LOVES bacon on his veggie burgers. I thought he was the only one!! LOL!

      And please, don't be shy. We're all friends here. :)

  6. Pretty sure I've said this before on this blog - I love bacon, but not your weird American crunchy shit. It's all about the nice juicy bacon in my world. Which is clearly somewhere more of you should visit. J/S.

  7. CANDIED BACON!! My co-worker brought this in and we all were like what is candied bacon? It's the most delicious food on earth is what Candied Bacon is!
    1 Pound of Bacon -
    Cut strips in half and tie in a knot(kinda tricky because it's slippery)
    Pack in brown sugar overnight in the fridge.
    Place bacon knots on a baking sheet and sprinkle some of the brown sugar over the top.

    Bake at 200 for 2 hours.

    It's wonderful!

  8. We (attempt to) make something like candied bacon - we call it "Sticky Pigs". Uber-delicious. Coat bacon in brown sugar, then lay them flat in a pan and add a little strip of coarse ground mustard or dijon mustard to the top and bake it till the bacon's done. I would tell you how long and how high, but I still haven't gotten it just like the caterer that makes it for us...

    While I was trying to find a recipe link for you, I found this:

  9. Spare ribs, pulled pork, bacon, sausage, ham, OMG pigs rule! I even put ground pork in my homemade meatballs. And, have you ever watched Mythbusters use pigs (from the butcher) as stand-ins for humans in their experients? Hilarious!

  10. Ooohhh I have tried this candied bacon.. I had the most amazing maple bacon ice cream.. At first I was like.. No way, I'm not trying it..but the guy said I must, so I did.. I went back this year to see if he made it again and he said no because it wasn't so successful...I was like WAAHHH!! I NEED this stuff...I have been craving it all year...but alas, no more maple bacon ice cream there... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE bacon crispy maple bacon, but I have limited my consumption this past year due to high cholesterol .(mother fucker) I do savor it once or twice a month. But I do not buy it anymore. I am eating lots of fish oil vitamins and trying to get my cholesterol level down so I can once again "pig" out on bacon... HA! Bacon....yummmmm

  11. No homemade New England Clam Chowder is worth putting into one's mouth without the addition of copious amounts of crispy, crispy bacon.

    *Drops mic, kicks over amp.*

  12. Well, crap, Blogger is being bitchy and not letting me leave individual comments.

    @twikiwi - I LOVE the crunchy as all hell kinda bacon. When I order it out, I always ask that they cook it well done (then again, I order my hash burns "burnt" but my steak "bloody") and it's sooo good.

    @Vooly - WTF do you mean, NE clam chowder can be made with bacon??? I don't think I've ever had that and I FUCKING WANT IT.

    Is your bacon more like Canadian bacon? I'm curious.

  13. I love Kalua Pork with cabbage. I have met some of the sweetest pigs & some of the nastiest. I think it all just depends on how they're handled. they are one of the few animals that can go from to domesticated to wild no problem.

    My grandfather doesn't eat pork or butcher it because they are "dirty" animals. I still think bacon & kalua pork are delicious!

    I do have to say that those "Hogzilla's" they hunt down in the south scare the crap outta me! HOLY MOLY!

  14. Pig. The best white meat.

    I have not had any cut of pork that was not delicious, so I am perfectly confident that I could live off of it. Breakfast, lunch, dinner?! That's all that I ask of meat.

    Our local has a pork fest every spring which includes a day of beer and every food you can think of with a bacon/pork twist. It's a blast, and I will never miss it. $5 for all you can eat roast pork and sides? Hell to the yes!

    ...I just don't ever want one as a pet. It might stage a coup with a spider and a rat. No thanks.

  15. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon.

    Bacon brought me back from vegetarianism many years ago...I just could not live a life without bacon.

    Crispy bacon...almost burnt, is my favorite.

    I had a maple bar with chopped bacon on was oddly delicious. I must try this candied bacon.

  16. Hmmm I love bacon too but after reading all these things about meat it is making me feel a little ill now. oh my Off to eat a salad lol


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