For that reason, I'm very grateful to the person who invented the alarm clock, and even more so to the person who decided that a snooze button would be a fabulous idea. Because in some ways, it is.
Waking up to the sight of me and ML trapped in my iPhone is always mildly disturbing to my sleep-addled brain.
But mostly, I fucking hate it, because if my alarm is clanging at some ungodly hour, it usually means I'm going to have to do something I'd rather not do, like go to work.
Over the years, I've developed various tricks and schemes that will get me out of bed every morning so I don't get fired but also let me sleep until that last possible moment. You know, that time where if you sleep for even one minute longer or have to poop before you leave the house, you're totally going to be late.
Right now, I'm utilizing the "Staggered Auditory Assault" trick to ensure I get out of bed relatively on time. This involves setting up multiple alarms, from gentle frolicking ring tones meant to gently rouse you from your slumber, but usually involves me cursing heartily and hitting snooze. A few minutes later, the second alarm (usually a more abrasive sound) goes off and then the third (the kind of ringtone that makes you want to go on a puppy-kicking rampage). If you snooze all three, you'll basically be completely ear-raped by a succession of increasingly annoying sounds and the act of hitting snooze every three minutes will, in theory, get your lazy ass out of bed.
The 6:58 am alarm is a car horn. Hilarity ensues every morning that one goes off. Which is every morning.
What really ends up happening is a lot of whining and griping until ML finally kicks me out of bed and sprawls across it so I can't get back on. And then I realize I have 13 1/2 minutes to shower, blow-dry my hair and get the fuck out the door and I totally freak out. Every morning. What was that saying about stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Or was that insanity?
ML has pointed out that if I just got up when the first alarm went off, not only would have I plenty of time to shower and get ready but I wouldn't have to fight with the horrifying cacophony of multiple alarms or scream at the cars in front of us on the way down to the train station to get the fuck out of our way.
Shut your piehole, ML.
What are some of the things you do to trick yourself into getting up in the morning? And if you're a morning person, HOW??? HOW DO YOU DO IT?