Sunday, July 29, 2012

This Guy Makes 50 Shades Sound Like Armageddon

Until now, I've never heard of Jon St. John. If someone asked me who he was, my first guess would've been porn star. It's a total fake-sounding porn-y type name. But Jon St. John is not a dick-swinging porn star -- far from it actually. JSJ is a voice actor and singer and is the voice of one Duke Nukem.


Nooooo... Duke Nukem isn't a porn star either. Although with a name like that, I'd kinda like to see him doing the horizontal monkey dance. If, of course, he wasn't a video game action hero who looks like a combination of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren and Bruce Willis with a cigar. He's like every movie action hero wrapped up into one fake video game dude with a porn star name.

Why, you wonder, do I keep trying to make these guys part of the adult film industry? Recently Jon St. John was asked to read an excerpt from "50 Shades of Grey" in his Duke Nukem voice and, well, it made me nearly spew ice tea all over my brand new laptop. I especially love that he doesn't even attempt to change the pitch of his voice when speaking Anastasia's parts.

21 comments:

  1. That was amazing! If he did the entire audio 50 collection I might have to consider purchasing it.

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  2. I want this dude AND Gilbert Gottfried to collab on an audiobook together. They can fight over who gets to be who...I won't mind either way :)

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  3. Two shiny silver BAALLS...
    oh god..so many tears.

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  4. Pure genius! I haven't laughed that much in ages.

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  5. That was awesome

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  6. Oh, I remember seeing this. I love Team Four Star's work. In fact, if you want more awesome, you need to google "Nostalgia Critic Baby Geniuses 2" review and watch it. At the end of the episode, the Team Four Star guys plus the Nostalgia Critic plus Brentalfloss, plus some dude who I can't remember his name, all read from 50 Shades of Grey in different cartoon voices like Zoidberg, Droopy Dog, and Mickey Mouse. In fact, here's the link to it:
    http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/35939-baby-geniuses-2

    But seriously, if you want even more funny voices reading 50 Shades of Grey, watch that review. It is totally worth it.

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  7. You just improved my Monday no end.

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  8. I don't know those dudes but that was awesome!

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  9. Oh, Gawd all I can think about is Duke Nukem saying, "then will fuck" directly after he says one of his catchphrases, "I've got balls of steel."

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  10. Wow. Just wow. Lol! I have to try that!

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  11. Funny, esp his voice and the guy to the left of the video grinning wildly as he learns over to read.

    If only I could be sure that the men reading this for our amusement spent even a fraction of the time taking lessons from Fifty for the benefit of some woman in their life.....

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  12. Most appropo line, "we didn't say it was good grammar."

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    Replies
    1. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this part!!

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  13. There have been so many funny and/or celebrity reads of FSoG they might have read the entire book. I wish someone would put them all together and make an audio book out of them (or at least a YouTube play list).

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  14. I watched this with ML and even he was nearly in hysterics from laughing.

    And ML doesn't get hysterical. It's just THAT funny.

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  15. Just finished listening to this gem with my Mommypants. Holy shit. We are still wiping the tears!! "We didn't say it was good grammar" BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I think I need to make a ringtone out of "Baaallllsss."

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  16. That was... amazing! I was laughing so loud! They def need to get him on the phone to do the audio book LMAO

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