Friday, August 31, 2012

Craigslist Deals for Robert Pattinson!

So those of you who watched Robert Pattinson and his hair (I am still mad about the hat thing) on Jimmy Kimmel last week got to hear him talking about how he buys "everything" on Craigslist -



I might have a few things laying around that I can sell on Craigslist! Here's my listing:

Mixed Lot for Sale SUPER CHEAP!: Includes AWESOME vintage guitar (formerly owned by Van Morrison!), a gross of HotPockets (assorted flavors), too many ugly hats to count (for display purposes only - cannot be worn), invisibility cloak (great for hiding from paparazzi and rabid fangirls!). Buyer must be well-coiffed and willing to come to LatchKey Wife's basement for pickup. Of the HotPockets. You know, because they have to be kept frozen, not because we are going to do anything inappropriate.*

Seller is very VERY motivated to make a face-to-face sale [*ahem*] and is willing to negotiate (poorly) with inexplicably thrifty millionaires.

Serious replies only. Must include photo.

(*You should probably also shop for a lie detector - I hear Jenny Jerkface might have one for sale CHEAP on Craigslist. Local pick-up only, natch. Although I suppose she might be persuaded to deliver it to a hotel room in the city next time you're in town if you prefer...)

What would you sell to Rob on Craigslist?  Give us your best PattinBait in the comments but please keep in mind that it is illegal to sell sexual favors or body parts. Probably.

10 comments:

  1. For Sale:

    One Rupert shaped punching bag.

    Yeah I know... low blow. ;) I still have not watched this video. Even my mom saw it, I'm the worst fan ever. Will watch when I'm not at work, now that I knwo where I can see it. (thank YOU!)

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    Replies
    1. I'd say he might pay a premium for that!

      And this is the middle of three segments of this show - you can find the other two easily enough on YouTube or LTR included them all in a post earlier this week (because we are bigger slackers than they are, clearly).

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  2. Good GAWD did he look delicious on Kimmel. I had all kinds of things to sell him but now my mind has gone blank as a result from his pretty.

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  3. For sale: Collection of vintage liquor shirts from around the world. Includes an assortment of hair gel, tennis shoes without laces, and one heart--slightly damaged

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    1. Awww... Yup that's gonna have some wear & tear... *sniff*

      (also if someone had THE Stoli shirt for sale, let the bidding war BEGIN!)

      : )

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  4. Will trade quiet seaside refuge free from all papparazzi and screaming fans, duration of stay to include soothing massages, hot homecooked meals, and unlimited access to Netflix, for opportunity to provide pleasurable stress-relief of a personal nature to recipient. Large variety of positions and implements available as desired, satisfaction guaranteed.

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    Replies
    1. I want to go to there. I'll massage, cook, hold tissues during sad movie - whatever! Sign me up!

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  5. I wonder where the original Stoli shirt is? Did he finally toss it? Or is it forgotten in a box in storage somewhere? THAT puppy would certainly be worth a lot of money if Rob wanted to auction it off for charity.

    But wait - here's an even more important question (that has me awake at 4:00 a.m. on Saturday) . . . WHERE THE FUCK IS DEAN? It feels like I haven't seen him in ages. How long has it been? Was he in Cannes?

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  6. Lol! Idk what I would sell but I watched this & remember thinking "damn.... I need to sell more shit on craiglist!"

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