Tuesday, May 27, 2014

We're Getting the Band Back Together.

Are you there, blog? It's me, Snarkier Than You...

I've been fixin' to post something here since about three days after my last post (give or take), which means that even by my mighty Herculean abilities to procrastinate like no other human on the planet, this has been a long time coming. I've spent an enormous amount of time since we stopped posting thinking about what to write and how to write it. I still have notes - reasonably handy - for the review of Breaking Dawn II that we never did, among other things, but after so much time had passed my brain always circled back to "Welp, you blew it and it's too late now."

I feel like there was an epic fail in not giving this blog a proper sendoff that would have reflected the love and meaning that we put into it and got out of it over the years, and that's mostly what's kept me from writing anything at all. Because it deserved a full-on party with a 21-gun salute, a brass band, possibly fire and dragon eggs, and we gave you something more in line with an unceremonious backyard burial of a hamster in a shoebox or the flushing a goldfish... Perhaps even worse - we just let it peter out. Anyway, you deserved better. I know that. But you knew that we were the slowest and most unreliable bloggers when you started hanging out with us, remember? The Twi-blogger equivalent of the irresistible "bad boy with a heart of gold"??? Or something like that? Maybe? *wink-wink*

I think at some point it seemed like there was no way I could just sneak back in and write something - anything - to fill the space; it would have needed to be AWESOME. Hopefully you have figured out at this point that I am keeping expectations suitably low. My drafts over the years for writing this look like the beginning of Eclipse, only more contrite and without the cutesy font -

Dean Twitards, I'm sorry...

We suck...what did you expect?!

Fuck this shit I don't know how to do this anymore...

At some point, I realized that part of the problem was that I wasn't willing to pen a farewell because I refuse to let it be over and done. But I also realized something else somewhere along the way: it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I couldn't (or didn't) produce some epic send-off or reintroduction or whatever I am considering this whole thing at this point. It doesn't matter if this is not the best thing I have ever written or the worst or even if there is nobody out there left to read it. I need this. I miss this. This is my outlet. The gaping hole in my heart? Yeah ok I know you all see what I am doing here... Let's say it's a small tear - not so much a gaping hole as a yearning and a small-ish but very persistent and troublesome spot that will. not. be. ignored. Thinking about writing here has been with me like an iffy tooth that you try to pretend isn't bothering you but that your tongue seems to gravitate towards and worry despite your best efforts to do anything else.

I know that the community has evolved and moved on, but Twitarded has always felt like home to me, and dammit, I'm staying even if it doesn't really make much sense at all (and very possibly dragging Jenny Jerkface, Latchkey Wife, and Myg along with me if I can talk them into it for some not-regularly-scheduled posts about who knows what). I'm rusty and can't promise anything will be particularly entertaining... But before I think about it too much and wait another couple of years before releasing the finger that is twitching tentatively over the "Publish" button, I'd better PTMFS.

P.S. Speaking of comebacks, Hellllllooooooooooooooooooo there, Cannes Rob!

I missed you, too...

101 comments:

  1. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get it - I totally get it. Welcome back!

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  2. Replies
    1. Missed you, too - you have no idea! : )

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  3. SSSSSQQQQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I cant tell you how I have missed this page for its twi humor and non twi humor. Your like a old friend that I met once ( Fooorrrkkkssss 2011) and while Rl has kicked my ass over the years ( years?!?!) since and there has been so much happening in Robworld (Diorrob, Cannes, etc..) without you has been well, lonely.
    Can you please (please) talk about how the magic love is over and that they are never (ever) getting back together. Who in the pool call it? that they would break up after all the movies were over.
    Im not sure if I remember my password anymore but if you ladies continue to post, I will continue to read them.

    Welcome Back

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  4. I don't think I remember my passwords either lol... Last time I went to respond to a comment, I couldn't get it to work lol!

    Oh and Sister Snarky wins the pool - she totally called it. : /

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  5. Cullenary CurserMay 27, 2014 at 9:48 PM

    *Sigh* Oh thank fuck. Post something. Anything. I'll read it.

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    Replies
    1. Done. But don't forget, you promised (sorta). Don't say I didn't warn ya'...

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    2. Cullenary CurserMay 27, 2014 at 11:01 PM

      I miss the days where I would wait for my RSS feeder to have a little (1) beside Twitarded in the evening. I didn't have the heart to take it off my RSS and I'm so glad I didn't! Now to find my password........

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    3. OMG me too!!! I couldn't bear to delete it from my RSS feed, but I did just recently archive all of those old posts. Weird thing is... I was just thinking of Twitarted this past weekend and I was kind of wishing I had gone to Forks with you all.

      Fingers crossed for some inappropriate humor!!!

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    4. I was hoping that either through laziness or wistfulness, some of you would still see there was a new post. : )

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  6. And all is right in the world now.

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    Replies
    1. Oh this is making me feel ALL the feels! Missed you. Still have my thermos handy jftr - couldn't ever bring myself to put it away in a bin somewhere...

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  7. Christ, it's like I can breathe again. Welcome back, STY. The internet is a far, far better place with Twitarded alive in it!

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    1. *swoon*
      & get yer bloggin' fingers typing again, please! I miss you, too. : )

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    2. I need to blog about this fic. I will this week!

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    3. BLOGGING ABOUT WHAT FIC YOU SAY?! I know I am a week late to this party but, WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!

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  8. I've had a big ole Twitarded shaped hole in my heart for a long time and now all is right with the world again :) I solemnly swear to read anything you kids write and follow you to the ends of the earth, proudly waving my freak flag. Welcome back - I've missed you!!!!

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    1. Missed you, too!
      Raise that sparkly freak flag high & proud! I can't keep mine in check any longer lol...

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  9. YOU'RE BAAAACCCKKKKK! Huzzah and all that stuff! I kept the faith and never removed you from my favorites bar...I just knew you'd be back (Alice told me!) and I tried to keep up in the meantime by stalking as many of you as possible (thank you Twitter). Forget expectations, no apologies necessary, I'm just so happy right now I could sparkle! Write on!

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  10. I rarely comment on posts, even though I've always read them...but, welcome back!

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    Replies
    1. WE LOVE COMMENTS (this has not changed!) so thanks!

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  11. What the hell is going on here?!?!

    No, seriously, what is going on? WHY can't I leave a comment? Has my brain become so immersed in boring things un-blog related that I'm no longer able to leave a fucking comment?

    Watch this comment goes through...

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  12. Replies
    1. hahahahahahaha omg dyiiiing....

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    2. Cullenary CurserMay 28, 2014 at 9:10 AM

      This in a nutshell is why I missed this place.

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  13. Well, I guess that begins our blogging experience... part deux. Well done, STY. The hamster thing... I love you, lady.

    I love all you ladies. And I swear I had a really clever comment until I deleted 60 times trying to remember how to use this blogger. It was clever, I swear.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know what part this is, but it's nice to see we're in!

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    2. Eeeeppp!!! JJ it is SO good to see you again!

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  14. I actually did the 2009 fist pump when I saw that yous posted again. I miss you Jersey girls alot!

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  15. Among the things you can talk about: Rob's pic in Hollywood reporter (Hello derr, gorgeous) and the fact that he's doing a mob movie set in Chicago. Holla!

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    Replies
    1. Well, this was unexpected...and more welcome than free booze.

      Let the toilet conversations commence!

      xox

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    2. I will admit that there was no Rob on my radar recently until Cannes was in the news and then I had to go looking because I knew there would be gold! Or sparkles... Something like that...

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  16. Ok, that comment was the result of clicking ALL THE THINGS & I have no clue how I did it. Yay for blowing the dust off Twitarded [wheeze] & I am betting the next post in 2017 is going to be amazing.

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    Replies
    1. That sounds about right... I've already started it and will be fretting over it daily between now and then...

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    2. I'm so confused because I can't figure out how to "like" Katherine's post.

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  17. @TwiLoveSue What exactly does a Twitardedbshaped hole look like? Oh wait, I think I know.

    Holy shit STY....not only did I get a tweet from you, we also get a blog post? ....and it's only boring old Tuesday. I miss us.

    @Myg Please post about that fic. Off to read.

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  18. I did a double take when I saw Twitarded in my inbox. Was I having a flashback from drugs I'd only read about in fanfiction! Bring on the Snark!!

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  19. So good to see your freaking name in my inbox again! And we might have moved on, but I think we're all happy to revisit the fun. Even if it's only once in a while, it's really nice to see those names in the comments again. This is gonna be fun!

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    1. Agreed - it IS the nicest thing to see all these names popping up!

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  20. Hey twatwaffles - I just wanted to say thanks for coming back and saying "Hi!" - we missed you all! I have no idea where we are going with this, but hopefully it'll be a fun ride!

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  21. Yes! Yes!! YES!!! Oh, I can't begin to tell you how freakin' excited I am to see a new blog post here!

    Welcome back, twatwaffles!

    CC xx

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  22. OMG! I just read "twatwaffle" in an old fic last night and thought how much I missed this blog! LOL welcome back! I'm looking forward to whatever you have to say!

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    1. I logged in, damn it! This was from me! (and I still an't log in w/ my Google acct. WTF?! LOL)
      Again - so excited to see your name in my inbox again!

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  23. You can't get rid of me. So excited to see u back!!!
    xo

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  24. HOLY FUCKING SQUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO damn happy to read this post! We did not go anywhere!!!!

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  25. ***Bella voice*** "Once the Twitards change me, you can't get rid of me." THE BITCHEZ ARE BACK.

    I feel like a part of my heart that's been missing is pumping my Twitarded blood again. Love you all so much!!!!

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  26. So happy to see a post from you guys. Missed all the fun.

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  27. There was a discussion just the other day about how much we missed Twitarded over on A Different Forest. Prayers have been answered!

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  28. I'm delighted to see you guys back! I'd almost given up hope but something made me check in from time to time. The time between checks had stretched out I'll admit and I have no idea what made me check just now but this is great news. Smiling from war to ear in Ireland xx

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  29. That should say ear to ear (stupid predictive text)!

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  30. Yay, yay, yay! I cannot express how supremely happy I am to see a post here. I will always follow you, wherever you go (or however long it takes!). You're the ones who started all of this crazy shit, and gave me some of the best friends I could ever have hoped for. Sparkle on, twatwaffles!

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  31. Feels. So many. I can't. Ahhhhhh. So Twitarded is alive after all. Isn't that wonderful. So glad to have you back.

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  32. It took me forever to type my comment because I spent about an hour trying to remember my password.

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  33. I want to tackle hug all of you right the fuck nao. Seriously. Let the fun and inappropriateness continue!

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  34. YOU'RE BAAAACK!!!! :happy seal clapping:
    Oh how I have missed all of you and this glorious blog. I can not wait to hear how you are all fairing, and what amazing adventures and mishaps you've been up to! Welcome back!

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  35. Ahhhhhhh I'm so excited that I can't even think of anything witty to say! Oh who am I kidding, I'll settle for coherent.

    Now listen, I say this because I know and love you h00rs. If you get our hopes up and then fail to deliver, well, that would just break my fragile heart.

    I HAVE loved you for a thousand years. Almost. Welcome back.

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    1. And now I'm singing the song. Any snot sobbing will be your fault MyAfterCar :)

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  36. Holy fucking shit!!!!!!!!!! Oh my GAWD I needed this so damn bad, I have missed you h00rs so much!!!!

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  37. HALLELUJAH!! OME, I am so excited to see this post and so happy you're back!! My phone wouldn't let me post a comment when I read this earlier, but I will not be denied by blogger! I would read anything you h00rs wrote, so welcome back!! We missed you!!!

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  38. Shit. Just when I was starting to sleep again at night. Twitarded, fics, Cannes....ffs!!

    Fanficzombie

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  39. What? Did I miss a meeting somewhere? A bloggy ops memo, perhaps?

    So what's everyone been up to?

    ~Latchkey Wife

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  40. Mother fucking squuuueeeeeees!
    Loved you then, love you now, and will always be giddy to hear from you :)
    XOXOXOXO

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  41. Yaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!! So frackin happy you're back!!!! Missed you!

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  42. I'm sorry I wasn't able to reply to everyone who chimed in here (sadly I have not won the lottery or otherwise become independently wealthy and still have to toil away for 8-12 hours a day...), but all your comments made me ridiculously, deliriously happy and I am just overwhelmed seeing how many familiar names and faces/avis popped in to say hello - WOOT! Seriously, you all rock, and you are all totally stuck with me now. NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

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    1. Look at what WE'VE done? Look at what YOU'VE DONE! Look at all the squee and feels! It's a good day in the land of Twitardia.

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    2. Seconded!!!! Now it's super awkward when I have to explain to people how I know my best friend Toefunny.... well, we met through a Twilight website... but it's not what you think... STY, you and JJ are responsible for some of the closest and most wonderful friendships in my life - so HUZZAH and HOORAY for a resurgence of everyone's favorite twatwaffles!!!!!

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  43. IS THIS REAL LIFE? :: Laughing crying snorting flappy hands:: I was just lamenting about the loss of both Twitarded AND Blogwaffles, and shit, y'all musta heard my sobs.

    Did you just give me the go ahead to waste time on the interwebs again? Honestly, it started to feel a bit cumbersome without a glue to hold us together. Not that the love was gone, no way. It's like breaking up when you leave for college, but when you get home for Christmas, you get drunk and...stuff happens.

    In conclusion...HAPPY CHRISTMAS, TWAT WAFFLES

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  44. *throws confetti all over the interwebs*

    Thank fuck. Everything will get better now! So excited to see you back!!!

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  45. @Nix ! Whaddya know?! Thanks for the wake up text, it was worth it. Hi, ladies!! Welcome, welcome!

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  46. Bitch puhlease ... you are my life now, (again)!!!

    Great you see you and the gang. I solemnly swear ... if you irregularly post I will irregularly read, and probably even comment ...

    if my Edward09 or Stef Cullen passwords don't work ... I'm @eds_piano

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  47. Jelena from Serbia here. I don't know what else to say, except that this is so cool. And, I can't wait for the next post - that is unless this one doesn't crash blogger.

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  48. I meant to say unless this post crashes blogger. Motherhood ate my brain cells.

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    Replies
    1. Jelly!!!! Motherhood is currently eating MY brain cells. I miss your face.

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  49. Thrilled to have you girls back! I almost deleted you from my RSS reader also and am so glad I didn't. Now when I look at my "I'm captain of the WTF boat. Now pass the whiskey!" picture hanging on my bulletin board, I don't have to feel sad!

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  50. Oh hey welcome back!!! Fricken blogger didn't like my iPhone for comments, had to drag out the laptop to comment. So glad that your back and it's a riot reading all the comments.

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  51. Oy......even tho' I've been mostly a silent groupie, I have missed you women! I have checked in every couple months and poked forlornly among the cobwebs, looking for giggle....so glad to see your return.....

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  52. Kristen G (kvotz904)May 30, 2014 at 10:28 PM

    Yay!!!! Welcome back! Yeesh, it was like New Moon around here for a while (well, okay, maybe just me?). I missed the fun. All is right in the Twi-World again ♥

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  53. I am so happy you are coming back, however sporadic it may be. I have missed you all so very much! Big smiles over here and huge hugs all around. Thank you for making my week :) xo norcaltwitard

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  54. So, it should be clear by now that I have not yet figured out how to sign back in with my old account but... never fear! If you guys can bring back the blog, I sure as hell can bring back my old account :) SO THRILLED!!!!!

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  55. Alright, so I just had to recover my password which took 2838934 minutes!

    I am SOOOO fucking excited right now!! Welcome back you wonderful ladies!! **happy dance**

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  56. Wow amazing to see this blog revived. Can't wait to see what you ladies come up with...

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  57. I was looking to see if blogwaffles had anything posted by anyone lately and came upon this instead! Glad to see you are back!

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  58. I can't tell you how awesome it is to drop by here because I was feeling nostalgic, and see that you're back! YOU'RE BACK!!! So incredibly awesome!

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  59. Yes! Welcome Back!!

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  60. Yaaaaaay! I'm so happy that you're back, I know that whatever you write about will be fabulous, as always. I've never been great at commenting, but I missed this blog so much!

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  61. omg, I've missed you guys! I was never very active on this blog, but I really dug it! STY & JJ might vaguely remember me from meeting /getting our pics taken with PFach @ Quaker Bridge Mall back in March of 2012(??) I've since moved from NJ to NC. Anyhoo... this is a sight for sore eyes! :)

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    1. If there's a "vaguely" in there, it's only because I was possibly a tad hung over lol... I absolutely remember you and hanging out in line that day at the mall! OME the line! How awesome PFach was with his fans - the girl in the wheelchair! - and how is was such a bad idea to take a photo of me standing next to him (movie stars really DO look magical/otherworldly, people - idk wtf is going on there, but it was like standing next to a Cullen on your worst day - and I am SO not photogenic even on my best day... Also a tad vain - blerg...). I hid that photo - sheer embarrassment. But a fun day! : )

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  62. And this mo-fo just ate my blog post. Just like old times!

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  63. I was attempting to say I missed this and you and everyone! And I'm so glad I was bored and doing random web searches tonight. Keep entertaining us 'cause nothing has ever been as much fun. We all need more snark.

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  64. PS. I quote from your post "I know that the community has evo lved and moved on". HAH! All the above replies shows that is not true.

    PPS. Do three posts adequately express my excitement level? HI EVERYONE!!

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  65. This brings ALL the happy to my heart.

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