tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post9048757224553057279..comments2024-03-26T05:24:56.783-04:00Comments on TWITARDED: I'm Feeling Stabby: Episode 1,234,888,478,989...Snarkier Than Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10797449606526868507noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-12891818580877831112011-09-22T00:59:45.941-04:002011-09-22T00:59:45.941-04:00Wow, I must have the Edward Cullen of non-vampire ...Wow, I must have the Edward Cullen of non-vampire husbands...he is on vacation this week from his 78 hour a week job and he cleaned the whole house, things I hate doing like dusting ceiling fans, washing miniblinds, washing windows inside and out and hand scrubbing the kitchen floor. I think I will go give him the blow job of his life now that I know how good I have it!Jennifernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-32199231293658236292011-09-20T21:08:51.230-04:002011-09-20T21:08:51.230-04:00JJ-the bending of time space continum is real beca...JJ-the bending of time space continum is real because Imma Cockhole apparently works @ my very large company too!!! I'm Allison and a 1.5 year lurker. I love ya'lls posts and I've always wanted to post but, quite frankly my hands hurt from picking up random hand towels and straightening rugs not to mention the 482 emails from Imma and her twatwafle(thx for the new words...its like Seasme Street but for drunk wanna be Rob whores but I digress) minions that I get every fuckin monday. All you all make me laugh and it is a wonderful thing tohelp keep my semi legal switchblade closed so I can enjoy it again tomorrow :)gypsy6140https://www.blogger.com/profile/15487821677295083076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-69353537094151350992011-09-20T19:46:46.315-04:002011-09-20T19:46:46.315-04:00@MamaC...I love you.
My list is so long I can&#...@MamaC...I love you. <br /><br />My list is so long I can't even go there. BUT I loved reading these. It makes me feel not so alone.<br /><br />OK just one: Dirty work clothes stripped and left in the living room of our house...daily. The. End.<br /><br />Oh and I am positive Rob would push my buttons...in every way....good and bad. ;-) Then again...he can afford maid service who is not his significant other.VitaminRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08168002453820589518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-20026605643820361592011-09-20T15:14:31.542-04:002011-09-20T15:14:31.542-04:00Ok, before you all eyeroll...let me just say this:...Ok, before you all eyeroll...let me just say this: Papa C and I have been together for over 25 years. IT TOOK 15 solid years before the conversion from "messy, lazy fucking douchebag bachelor" to "wife-pleasing perfect life partner" was complete. But now, I can proudly say that Papa knows exactly what is expected of him and is at near 100% compliance. <br /><br />Dare I even say that he goes above and beyond most days. For example, I have a goregous, one-of-a-kind "Edward Cullen's piano" TV stand that he made for me. And recently, he very meticulously reassembled my FSE, who suffered a near amputation at the waist. <br /><br />So, the only current complaint I have is that he injured his shoulder recently and hasn't been able to grip a headboard like I'd like him to. ;-)<br /><br />MC<br /><br />PS He's very excited to meet you all in Forks. And also...to hopefully grip a headboard there.Mama Cougarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10259517914856346992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-91873364101459011222011-09-20T11:53:04.526-04:002011-09-20T11:53:04.526-04:00And JJ, don't feel bad about writing this post...And JJ, don't feel bad about writing this post. If he didn't want you to vent, he would pick up the fucking towel.Robs Bitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02663302181812955540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-14544106110035858502011-09-20T11:08:50.070-04:002011-09-20T11:08:50.070-04:00I just laughed so hard at this post because its so...I just laughed so hard at this post because its so fucking true. Happens here ALL. THE. TIME!!<br /><br />I feel your pain!Colleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04699386205522731848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-57270569791987262362011-09-20T04:43:28.517-04:002011-09-20T04:43:28.517-04:00I live alone. My bathmat stays where I put it. The...I live alone. My bathmat stays where I put it. The dishwasher is stacked correctly. The linen is stored where it belongs. I get FUCKING ENRAGED when people casually sling things in random places WHERE THEY DO NOT LIVE. <br /><br />God help the future Mr TwiKiwi.... apparently he is out there somewhere....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-71910568463499414762011-09-20T01:27:48.535-04:002011-09-20T01:27:48.535-04:00Toenail clippings. On the couch. WTF???Toenail clippings. On the couch. WTF???Zanymousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02551669627890120034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-71619717757120456732011-09-19T23:25:44.698-04:002011-09-19T23:25:44.698-04:00If by guy thing he means doing/not doing something...If by guy thing he means doing/not doing something that wants to make you maim, bludgeon and kill simultaneously...then yes. I have been after mine for FIVE YEARS to finish the f'ing patio...and he did once...BUT then he decided it wasn't straight enough and has since been in the process of redoing it....AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.Sorry lost it again. Thank goodness I'm not annoying like that..Rizitynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-33570389892083520462011-09-19T20:47:58.935-04:002011-09-19T20:47:58.935-04:00@tiffanized You Rock!
ACK! Hubs has the same hole...@tiffanized You Rock!<br /><br />ACK! Hubs has the same hole in his vision, I wish I could just place shit in the bed but that mean that I'd be sleeping with it too. Luckily he has his own bathroom and keeps his cloths in the spare room, so I don't deal with half of it. Sheesh he doesn't pick up shit off the floor, nor will he put groceries or anything bought at the store away. It sits on the counter till I do it. Bugger.....red_bellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04643896155215594362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-44949333313980707322011-09-19T19:13:27.967-04:002011-09-19T19:13:27.967-04:00@Tiffanized - Your comment made me laugh SO hard, ...@Tiffanized - Your comment made me laugh SO hard, especially because I have done this - not with children, but with roommates in the past. Even once deposited a half-eaten chicken carcass in one of the guy's bed. He left it there and a week later I came home to find the dog chewing on it. <br /><br />@Amers425 - See above comment, lol. Though my roommates were male, they were all slovenly and it would be often I would come home to the house stinking like dog shit and the roomies playing video games. <br /><br />@TwiLoveSue - Actually, I think Imma Cockhole IS from the West Coast!! Do we work with the same asshats??? :P<br /><br />@Rob's Bitch - I'm sure I would be able to pick my way around the piles of empty Hot Pocket boxes, over flowing ashtrays, scattered beer bottles and unwashed clothing to find his bed. It might not be easy, but I imagine it would be worth it. <br /><br />@LindsayRae - I do feel a slight twinge of something like remorse for writing this post. ML is, for a guy, a general clean - oh who the fuck am I kidding. His shit is everywhere. <br /><br />But he does do a lot of yardwork and I hate yardwork with a vicious passion...Jenny Jerkfacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659204046693465182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-14544347185317422902011-09-19T17:53:35.998-04:002011-09-19T17:53:35.998-04:00Imma sounds like a Grade A business professional. ...Imma sounds like a Grade A business professional. Is it just me, or does it seem like ALL higher-ups are fuck nozzles? Sorry today was probably the shittiest Monday of the month, but you know...TEN MF DAYS, BITCHES!!!<br /><br />As for the ML craziness, I would go orangutan shit. Not even ape shit. Holy fuck. Towels on the floor? Unacceptable! It's not like there's <i>that</i> much room on the floor in the first place! Pick up your crap!<br /><br />I can't lie...I am so grateful to have The Bentist. We're both generally tidy, and really, there isn't much that pisses me off. I'm a pretty easy going chick in the first place, so it takes a bit to get me reaching for the knives. But when I do? Well...My brother can point out holes in his bedroom door from when I literally grabbed the knives.<br /><br />@Tiff, HOLY GENIUS!!! I am taking that note to my "future motherhood book of shit to do." Amazeballs. Does it work on SOs? JJ, you might want to consider this tactic.Lindsay Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533979763200935476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-41860699253409885292011-09-19T17:04:23.017-04:002011-09-19T17:04:23.017-04:00@Rob's Bitch, I'm pretty sure I speak for ...@Rob's Bitch, I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone here when I say it would be awesome to test that theory even if for only a day.Donehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07435055072554665501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-82723438964026078422011-09-19T16:16:02.992-04:002011-09-19T16:16:02.992-04:00Can you imagine what a craptastic shithole it must...Can you imagine what a craptastic shithole it must be living with Rob?<br /><br />I mean the trade off is substantial, but I'm sure it would still be a struggle...Robs Bitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02663302181812955540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-45312582416491424402011-09-19T15:50:39.869-04:002011-09-19T15:50:39.869-04:00I think you are psychic, JJ!! I pick up underpants...I think you are psychic, JJ!! I pick up underpants (from the EXACT same spot at pretty much the same time) every day of my life! I had a meltdown about this shit just this morning. I behaved like a crazy woman at 8 am - sobbing into your breakfast, in front of the kids, is not good.<br /><br />Not only do men have a blind spot, they are also deaf when it comes to any sort of complaint (or threat of total mental breakdown)where hauswork is concerned. I don't have the answer. I wish I did.Honorellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07264763456742778392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-69113840767750652792011-09-19T11:50:53.649-04:002011-09-19T11:50:53.649-04:00Does Imma Cockhole have any relatives working on t...Does Imma Cockhole have any relatives working on the West Coast? Just wondering, cause I'm pretty sure I work with her sister. And don't even get me started on the idiotic things guys do because there's no following the logic.TwiloveSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17638745129157271580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-85036389392973220852011-09-19T11:14:28.731-04:002011-09-19T11:14:28.731-04:00The favorite one I have heard was when I left a pi...The favorite one I have heard was when I left a pile of folded laundry on the couch. I watched as my husband moved it to the coffee table, and then sat down on the couch. I asked him why he didn't just put the laundry away, and he said, "I don't know where it goes."<br /><br />It was a pile of his underwear.<br /><br />Needless to say, shit went nuclear.Carly Fallhttp://www.carlyfall.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-48325269369749117382011-09-19T11:02:40.285-04:002011-09-19T11:02:40.285-04:00I hate people at work like that. As for the "...I hate people at work like that. As for the "It's a guy thing"... I have never lived with a guy other than my brother & dad & they were both pretty clean dudes. One of my former roommates & my current one however are another story. One would let her little dog crap in the house & then not pick it up for DAYS!! The one now will leave dirty dishes in the sink until they are piled up like in a cartoon. I MEAN REALLY??!! I have a really messy room a lot of times but I KEEP IT IN MY ROOM! So it's not always just men that are messy. :-)Amers425https://www.blogger.com/profile/03582167045638424227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-2907287227903715772011-09-19T10:58:38.193-04:002011-09-19T10:58:38.193-04:00Ok I can not even comment on this today. 1) It is ...Ok I can not even comment on this today. 1) It is Monday. 2) I hate work right now. 3) Boys!<br /><br />So I will just point you to my most read non-Twilight blog post:<br />http://dangrdafne.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-of-delirium-19-full-cooperation.html<br />Which has a picture of socks in it. You will understand.Dangrdafnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04940599664505953044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-58974791142703331542011-09-19T10:40:12.502-04:002011-09-19T10:40:12.502-04:00Aaaagggghhh that would make me crazy. Wait, why a...Aaaagggghhh that would make me crazy. Wait, why am I saying 'would?' Mr. XKR (I love him, this is one of the few things I can complain about) constantly has a pile of his shoes and clothes on the bench at the end of our bed. Buying that lovely decorative bench? Worst decision ever. It is now just a stand for the five pairs of pajama pants he rotates through (don't pull out another effing pair, there are FOUR already strewn about the room!). <br /><br />I (somewhat intentionally) pile his clean laundry along his side of the bed - clean, folded, what a lucky man - so that he can't get into bed without putting it away. Stupid me, that doesn't work. Where does it end up? You guessed it. The bench. I move it back every morning until he puts it away. I might have a passive aggressive tendency.My After Carhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17352424174841928456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-49220938925840073542011-09-19T10:35:45.707-04:002011-09-19T10:35:45.707-04:00Yes, I swear dudes are hardwired to see only what ...Yes, I swear dudes are hardwired to see only what they want. Well, see, hear, do...etc, but that's another topic. In our house it's the socks. Hubs manages to get *most* of his other clothes into his hamper except for his socks. I really don't get it. Is it really that hard to pick up two more things off the living room floor?JustJen_17https://www.blogger.com/profile/03315597152805800644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-64442110286323094122011-09-19T05:36:32.356-04:002011-09-19T05:36:32.356-04:00Ah yes...the joys of office work. Everyone wants ...Ah yes...the joys of office work. Everyone wants instant answers, error free. Ridiculous deadlines, crushing workloads, whiny bosses. That is why I jumped off that crazy train and went to work with little kids. At least when they throw tantrums, it is because they are ACTUALLY three year olds. They are so much fun. Seriously JJ, start thinking of career changes. Life is too short.<br /><br />Men are slobs. The end.Donehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07435055072554665501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-54906133481170186942011-09-19T01:13:25.018-04:002011-09-19T01:13:25.018-04:00Ok...so it's called "dude vision" an...Ok...so it's called "dude vision" and it's totally a guy thing. Its not specific to laundry either. It applies to ANYTHING you ask them for. <br /><br />I once sent my husband to Raley's to get spaghetti. He returned after half an hour and said "They didn't have any." Really?????? The giant box store with an entire aisle dedicated to pasta products was out of all 17 varieties of spaghetti at the same time? <br /><br />He's lucky I didn't stab him in the eyeball with my paring knife.Edward is a VILFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10924257043715250838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-30280194205713300472011-09-19T00:47:05.924-04:002011-09-19T00:47:05.924-04:00This is almost as bad as my daughter throwing her ...This is almost as bad as my daughter throwing her clothes all over the bathroom instead of putting them in the dirty clothes that is right there in the same bathroom. No, it is not necessarily a guy thing in my house.OCD56https://www.blogger.com/profile/02764206783360993367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325136241555317156.post-32303301016932288132011-09-19T00:04:02.403-04:002011-09-19T00:04:02.403-04:00Hearing your pain somehow makes mine more bearable...Hearing your pain somehow makes mine more bearable. "It's a guy" and "I just don't see it" are two phrases I never want to hear again (but to see them improbably associated to Harry Potter almost makes it worth it).jussumchichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13237669159769352366noreply@blogger.com