Best of Twitarded

Often times we have readers ask about a specific post and sometimes it's like finding a needle in a haystack! Here are a few of our favorites. Do you have a favorite not listed here? Let us know! Email us at

Does anyone really NOT know about the panties? The whole world knows about the panties. Now you can, too! It all started here...

Of Twilight and, er, well, ka-ka...
The infamous poop post! Jenny Jerkface threatens to drop a deuce in RPattz's trailer.

The Controversy in Breaking Dawn - SPOILER!!
Love custard + Bella's love-muffin = creepy halfbreed.

Dear 18-Year-Old Taylor Lautner - Ruuuuuuuuuun!!
Twitarded gives Taylor a heads-up on what happens when you're legal.

You Inspired This One: Twitarded Goes Brazilian!
Snarkier Than You takes the ladyscaping plunge and lives to tell!

You Asked For It: The "Twitarded Goes Brazilian" Follow-Up
You asked for it: Snarkier Than You's ladyscaping update!

Jenny Jerkface Gets a Facial
Noooo, not that kind of facial. Although after this experience, I think that's what she wished she was getting.

The Elusive Peen. Possibly.
Robert Pattinson's penis is like the fucking Loch Ness Monster. And we hope that applies in more ways than one.

Pattinson vs. Bie... WHO??? Are You Serious?!?
Latchkey Wife takes an in depth look at some asstard's blog comparing the precious to the precocious.

Has Anyone Seen My Filter? I Seemed to Have Misplaced It.
One Twitards struggles with the loss of the brain-to-mouth filter and the havoc it wreaks on non-Twitarded friends.

Twitarded Don't Need No Stinkin' Robert Pattinson Interview Mag Outtakes
At least not when you have the extremely talented OPattz as a filler-inner!

Twitarded's "100-ish Ways Twilight Has Changed My Life" List
Our readers help us compile a most awesome list of what the Twilight saga has done for us.

OME The Vampsicle Is Here!!! [TOTALLY NSFW - Don't Say We Didn't Warn Ya'!]
Ice cold sparkle peen coming right up... Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

The Reluctant Twitard
Mommy (not a) Jerkface reads the Twilight Saga and desperately wants to throat punch Bella. 

My Life is Like Twilight
Snarkier Than You mulls over "real" life versus "Twilight" life.  One is full of soul sucking jobs and a possible mid-life crisis. The other is full of all night sex-a-thons with sparkly husbands and basically being awesome all around.  Guess which one is which. 

Mini Edward[s] Meet Definitely-Not-Mini Edward [Chaos Ensues]
A meeting of the minis and two-dimensional Edwards does not end well and Snarkier Than You and Jenny Jerkface effectively secure the title of "batshit crazy" from JJ's neighbors. 

FSE Provides Further Proof That I am, In Fact, an Asshole
Jenny Jerkface offers a Dear Abby of Assholes guide to fucking with, well, everyone using Full Size Edward. 

I Want to Row RPattz Like a Boat
Jenny Jerkface muses about a hypothetical sex-a-thon with the Precious. Someone is scarred for life as result. And it isn't her. 

Monday Morning Squee 
An oldy but goody. Whip out the tarp, put it over your computer chair and hit play. Commence drooling. 

Something Smells Fishy
Texas Katherine is permanently scarred after discovering... Eau du Pussy. No on will ever look at bicycle seats the same way again.

Full Size Edward Security Company, Inc.
Jenny Jerkface employs her ahhhmay of Edwards to help keep her safe while ML goes on tour for a month. The neighbors were alarmed.

We Make Babies With RPattz
TK uses her amazing Photoshop skillz to see what our babies with RPattz would look like. And by Photoshop, I really mean some program online that no doubt combines our pictures with that of Sloth from the Goonies no matter what sexy photo of RPattz is used.

Going Batshit Crazy
Jenny Jerkface and ML team up to fight the evilness of Renesmee in her bat form as she takes up residence in their house. Team Wussy to the rescue!