Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fancy a Little Fan Fiction? You've Come to the Right Place

I might as well cut to the chase here and get right down to the nitty-gritty-touch-a-titty. We all know that most of you love some Twilight fan fiction and usually the more lemony the better, right? I mean, if fan fiction was a dude, most of you would definitely drop to your knees and take it in, allll the way down and suck like your life depended on it. And don't forget to cup the balls, either.

That was amazing, JJ. I've never had anyone do THAT to me before. Where did you learn it? Ahhh, Twilight fan fiction, of course...

Shyward, Geekward, Darkward, Tattward -- whatever, we all read that shit with a glazed expression as we squirm in our chairs. I'm sure we've all had at least one experience where we were caught reading fan fiction at an inappropriate place - the office, family gatherings, the mall, your kids' sporting event.

What?! I'll be out in a second. I have really bad gas. That's why I'm moaning. Uh huh...

Admit it, it's okay. I've definitely been caught reading shit in the elevator at work, lips parted, panting slightly as Darkward pushes Bella across the desk, lifts her skirt up and...

Where was I? Oh, right. 4th floor, please. Thanks.

As shocking as it is, I've actually been kind of shying away from the wham-bam-thank-you-m'am kind of fics these days. Not that there is anything wrong this those, natch. And I certainly don't mean that there aren't lemons in the stories I'm currently reading --

Hey! Where did ya go? COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!

Anyhoo, I've been introduced to a couple of new "Wards" these past few weeks. And I'd like to share them with you because they are pretty fuck-awesome.

Sins of the Father
by Bethaboo (all-human, OOC)

Bella Swan breaks free from her mother's influence and is desperate to prove her music blog speaks for her generation. Edward Cullen is an Irish punk rocker with a dark past. When they collide, nothing will ever be the same. AH, OOC. (Image and description taken from Twilighted.net)

This story drew me in from the get-go. Bella is a music blogger who is down on her luck and Edward is a punk rocker dude with a fucking major chip on his incredibly sexy shoulder. I love bloggers, I really fucking love punk and I love Edward and Bella so I had to check this out. Think you know how this story is going to end?

Trust me, you don't.

Currently, it's only seven chapters in but every guess I've made has been wrong and now I'm like a fucking kid with her face pressed against the pet-shop window because I really, really want that next chapter to come out and I'm dying to know what happens next.

This is a really well thought out, tightly written story. And for those of you who aren't fans of Twilighted, she's also posted it on fanfiction.net

There aren't many lemons yet for all you greedy slut-monkeys to feast on, but what little I've seen... it's gonna be good, ladies. All I know is if Punkrockward wanted me to wrap my lips around his cock... I'm pretty sure I'd oblige.

It's just you and me, punk-rock boy... nom, nom, nom.

The next fic that is fucking pwning me these days is one that is a pretty heavy on the angst and light on the lemons but that doesn't make it any less interesting, not by a long shot.

Oh, and it also has the biggest, douchiest, ass-licking Edward I have ever read. EVER.

It's really quite impressive.

Hit by Destiny by ocdmess

Three months ago, something happened that came to change Bella's life forever. She is an outcast, hated by everyone, loved by no one. She wants nothing more than to end her life and she almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries and the only thing keeping her alive is the person who hit her... (image and description taken from Twilighted.net)

There is a really interesting dynamic between Sad Bella and Doucheward in this fic and it really kind of just sucks you in. Bella's a fuck lot stronger than she seems and I really like her character, especially because Edward is such a d-i-c-k-f-a-c-e in the first, um, few chapters.

There are some really cool twists and turns, as well as a really uber creepy Renee and Billy Black. If you're in the mood for some angst and mystery, this fic is for you. She also has it posted over at fanfiction.net -- with a lot more chapters available. I swear to OME I actually squealed like a little kid when I discovered this.

The last one I need to recommend is one that Latchkey Wife has been hounding me to read. At least every other day she's all, "asshole, did you read it yet?" and I'm all "dood, when RL life stops sticking uncomfortable things in my pooper, I'll totally read it."

Well, I finally got to sit down and read it.

And I really wish I had read it earlier because this shizz is good. Like, really fucking good.

It's called The Family Business by Suzspetals

Not sure why but this is how I picture, ahem, Slayerward...

Edward Cullen met the girl of his dreams but pushed her away due to his complicated, dangerous family life. When cruel irony reunites them, he’s forced to make a devastating choice: Save her from a fate worse than death or from the family business.

This is an AU fic that is most definitely worth checking out, especially if you're a Buffy fan. I only say that because, well, Edward isn't a vampire. He's a slayer of them.

I've only gotten about nine chapters in but I'm eating this up like RPattz on a platter. The writing is witty and smooth and the characters are intriguing as hell.

Hello? Is anyone still here? If you are, let us know what's floating your boat these days -- and when you leave a comment on these stories be sure to tell these lovely talented ladies that Twitarded sends their love.


  1. The List is pwning me like none other. I prefer the Twilight Edward/Bella pairings & this one is SO freaking hot!
    I also love me some Fifty - Master of the Universe!
    My list of 'to be reads' is insanely long though - not sure when, if ever I will catch up, but it will be hella fun trying!

  2. So you're all going to throw rocks and sticks at me, and that's ok...
    BUT, I cannot picture Edward Cullen as anything other than Edward Cullen. I have TRIED reading those Twilight FF's...but can't get into them to save my life, and girlie bits.

    I can however get into the ones that follow the real story or spin off from it. Ok fine, I'll get to the point...I'm newly obsessed with Robsten fan fiction..I CANNOT GET ENOUGH! I have been reading it at work all week and find myself flustered when a guest walks up...

    IF anyone is interested *looks around the room....anyone?* I'd be happy to recommend some...email me sotwired@gmail.com!

    xo bitches,

  3. @Twired Jen - honestly? I don't really picture them as anyone when I read fic. I kinda have to think about it afterward. It's just like a hazy figure to me.

    Never did get into the Robsten/RPattz fic. Latchkey loves that stuff, I think.

    And we would never throw rocks and sticks at you. You're way too cute.

  4. That picture of the woman in the bathroom with her laptop cracked me up, because I have done that! Sometimes you just can not stop reading no matter what comes up (or out)!
    I am completely obsessed with Twilight FF, I cant read anything else right now. Currently I am reading Summer of Salt and loving it.

  5. Right now I'm reading The Screamers. Pretty histerical with some good lemons! Also following MOTU and The Training :)

    loving my iPhone for letting me read porn anywhere! praise apple!

  6. @ twired jen-- rec's please! laphipps@gmail.com

  7. I have not read the three that you mentioned, but they all look promising. I do have to say that the craziest place I got caught reading fanfiction was reading MOTU and standing in line at disney world waiting with my daughter to meet cinderella.

  8. You guys reminded me of one of my biggest peeves in Twi fics- nothing pisses me off or turns me off on a story faster than one who references the actors in any way, any other character they played i.e. Cedric, and that the characters look like the actors. It totally kills it for me because when I'm reading I have a hard time picturing the characters as it is but when I do it's like a tweeked version of who plays them especially for the guys.

    Oy I've read so many stories it's hard to even remember and keep them straight but like @Twilight Junkie I also recently read The List and loved it. Bare by stella luna sky was one I also recently read and loved. Intersection by Lillybellis is one I always remember. I'm going through my Fanfic page since I save the stories I like and I have 196 so I could be here all day so I'll just stick with 3 for now lol. I love everyone's recs but I wish they were complete stories I have a handful of in progress ones I'm reading now and I can barely keep those straight.

  9. fuck sake, thanks alot JJ, more unfinished fics for me to get into! my nerves cant handle any more haha

  10. The Blessing and the Curse by Black Arrow. If you are not reading it, you should stop what you are doing and go read it now. It's on fanfiction.net Oh, and for all you that love your Ed a little more cannon, Stranger than Fiction, also on fanfic.

  11. The only one of your recs I've read is The Family Business. I puffy heart it. Very different from anything else.

    I've started reading some T rated fics because there are only so many ways Edward can plunder Bella. I'm a total fan girl for An Introduction To Swirl & Daisy. It is so well written. I found myself getting all teary-eyed while reliving those intense teen emotions. It is a must read.

    I also adore Counterpoint. Seriously. Go read this. It's smart. It's funny. It's happy. It's sad. I freak the fuck out when it updates & I'm pretty sure the author, SleepyValentina, is afraid of me. [Insert all your snarky comments here.]

    Now go read The Family Business & leave SuzsPetals some love. She's a great writer & promised me a dollar for every new reader. Momma needs a new pair of shoes. Preferably those shiny, neutral Louboutins. I NEED those.

  12. I was just scanning through the stories on Twilighted last night and was contemplating the first two you recomended. I almost favorited them to read later, but my list has 40 stories and I didn't know if they were going to be any good. But from what you said, I think I'll give them a shot. And I think 17foreverLisa has been trying to get us all to read The Family Business. I guess I will have to succumb to that one too.

  13. OK, is this seriously where we confessed all our dirty little "where I've read twilight FF" secrets? I've been waiting for soooo long. OMG, where to start? How about in the supply closet at work that the management so graciously allowed me to lock whilst I pumped breastmilk for 7 months? Yeah, read a lot of fic there. Meetings? Check. What's that you say? I just volunteered for a project because I was groaning? oops. Bathroom? Of fucking course. Check. In the car at stoplights? Check. (Only at stoplights people, I don't have a death wish...)

    Okay, and now for what's currently pwning me SO FUCKING HARD:

    Everything ss10 writes, but specifically C 5 6(http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5801089/1/). Quadriplegicward and Flighty-insecure Bella AND lemons. yes it possible, and yes it is FUCK AWESOME. Sweet, sincere story and I ACTUALLY fanned myself when they kissed. (and with the amount of Twi smut I've read over the last two years, that is saying something.) Well, fanned and panted, but nonetheless...

    I also loved Bare by stella luna sky, and her new endeavor, TOTALLY opposite of the sweet heart-wrenching loveliness of Bare, called Bad Fauxmance, is fantastically funny and hopefully smutty-to-come (heh heh i said come). Straightward has to pretend to be gay to keep within Bella's good graces, but he's infatuated with her. Oh, and Emmett's a total bear. (Like,gay BEAR, people!) Hilarity (and irony) ensue.

    The Art of Worship by TheGreenPuma was just rec'd on The Perv Pack Smut Shack, and although I'd read it months before, it's worth the re-read. (over, and over, and over...) Carlisle schools Edward in how to make a woman...let's say "happy". Need I say more? REALLY?! Hotness sprinkled with some lovely bits of humor runs rampit in this one. My very fav line in fic EVER came from the last chapter, which, btw, is entitled "Balinese Worm Tongue". You'll know it when you read it. She's brilliant, as is her one-shot she coauthored called Tryst. Don't even know how to explain that one, just read it. It was a Friday Free For All fic and blew. me. away. For realz.

    And the last one I drop EVERYTHING for: The Anonymous Series by SinShameGuilt. I can't relate to those of you who can't get your swerve on to some Rpattz real life fic - this fucking fic MELTS MY KNEECAPS, people. It's all Rpatz and our leading lady, who is a complete mystery. Lemon right out of the gate so hot you won't believe your eyeballs. I have seriously read every fricking chapter like 12 times. Seriously.

    I could go on for days...but I'll spare you. :)

  14. Oh TK, if you're talking Counterpoint don't forget the other side of the story- Art After 5! I read it right after it was finished and it was great but she'd barely started Counterpoint so I've still yet to read it...

  15. I'm with you @raven The Blessing & the Curse blew me away. Her writing is like poetry & Curse ward is so dark. When they finally get around to the lemons it's so intense. It's not finished though & she's slow to update & it's killing me. Also recently read The List which was hot, MotU is fantastic and have just finished Emancipation Proclamation which was fuckawsome but lloonngg. Cinderalla, a tale of lust is great as is Pergatory. I don't really care if it's all human or whatever, I've even read Bella/Jacob fic's & slash (took me ages to work out what that meant lol!)and as long as it's well written, it's fine by me.

  16. @Twired Jen- It was so hard for me to read anything that wasn't canon. I mean, what's the point? But I jumped in anyway.

    It's really difficult to explain to a non FF reader how AU/AH stuff is fanfic. I still don't know how to explain the appeal.

    If anyone can give any advice on how I can, let me know.

    Anyway, once I started, I can't stop.

    DH says my iPhone is going to give me a sunburn on my face because I usually read before I go to sleep and sometimes he wakes up and wonders why my face is glowing. (in more ways than one)

    Right now, anything by ItzMegan73 totally pwns me.

  17. I'm pretty sure that with all the recommendations in this post and the comments combined, I'm either going to a) get fired, b)never get any sleep, or c) both. Jaysus.

    Now I'm at a point where I'm getting my fics mixed up, not just with each other, but with actual canon. Dr. Banner was in Twilight, right? No? And they didn't live in San Francisco and play in a band? Wait. You mean there wasn't a scene with Bella in her Spiderman pajamas?

  18. I'm a huge fanfic h00r. I can relate to the bathroom picture, been there with my iPhone many times. I read at least 3 hours of fanfic daily, that means I'm not doing much cooking or cleaning anymore! YAY!! Many of my faves were mentioned here including The Blessing and The Curse (my #1). I also love Stampede of a Thousand Pulses by ss10 (angsty), Guardian by ChampagneAnyone (intrigue), and High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType (romance/angsty). I can second the rec for Hit by Destiny.

    @mabarberella - The Art of Worship is fucking awesome and I know what line you're referring to :)

    @Amanda - I don't sleep anymore and I think I'll get a warning before I actually get fired. I started mixing up my Edwards and Bellas so now I keep notes in a binder. Yes, I'm that addicted.

  19. Well shit! Fanfic has already taken over my life. I risk my livelihood on a daily basis, sneaking fanfic on my iPhone at work. Now it seems I have three more stories to add to my list. Especially with Edward as a vampire slayer? HAWT!!!

    I am currently reading and loving:

    Metaphysics by anais mark - amazing original poetry. sucked me in from the get-go. I am amazed that this fic isn't being talked about by EVERYONE! Please go read!

    Love on wheels by Bratty-Vamp - so funny. Its 1978 and Edward rules the skating rink.

    The Wedding Party by spanglemaker9 - UST at its finest!!

    Anything by FL95 - if you haven't yet been introduced to Dickward, go NOW and get yourself nice and acquainted. Sofa king UH-MAY-ZING!!

    And the usual suspects, Emancipation Proclamation, MoTU, University of Edward Masen.

    And of course, Wednesday is now my favorite day of the week because of the Misapprehension of Bella Swan.

    I still do love my smut but lately have been needing a little more. Some new and unique ideas. These 3 sound like just what the doctor ordered! Dr. E Cullen, that is.... nom nom nom...

  20. thanks JJ, i was totes in need of some recs. and i'm like you, the way i picture the characters is hazy. and i like it when they get to know each other before they do IT. for a while when i was reading MOTU, i was picturing anthony from the wiggles. sorry, i shouldn't have admitted that out loud. there's a little snapshot into my life;)
    i enjoy MOTU, the list (the chapter when she is up against the tree in the meadow kills me). i am currently into Weight of Words (lots of yearning). i guess it has some similarities to university of edward masen with the whole teacher-student thang. i also enjoyed edward wallbanger. wide awake is good as well. i should keep a binder too because i get my bella/edwards and plots
    mixed up!

  21. I've just recently delved into the addicting world of Twi ff. I like my lemons, I do. But I think a balance is good. So I just put those ff's down on my to read list, esp "Hit by Destiny" and "Sins of the Father," sound promising.
    Since I was uber late to the Twi ff partay, I had the pleasure of reading MOTU in just 'bout one fell swoop while home sick one day. That fic def has its juicy lemons (um hello! --Mile High Club elevator!) but I'm really wrapped up in the whole story and I actually like this Bella. I bawled like a baby when 50 had his nuclear meltdown in front of Bella and when he finally lets her touch the no-go zone -his chest. -- I'm such a fucking sap! Now after ch. 84, I'm nearly going insane waiting for the next update. Never did I think I'd be addicted to a story with a bdsm flair.. okay, well I guess its more "kinky fuckery with a side of vanilla" story ;)

    Edward Wallbanger is another fave; the E/B relationship is cute and I love their humor and banter.

    LOL Amanda: Hhhmm.. close. There was a Mr. Banner in Twilight (I think). Def think real canon Twilight Edward/Bella could have benefited from a lil' Dr. Banner therapy.

    Now I'm constantly devouring the fanfic. --class, breaks at work, when I'm NOT on a break ;)

    That reminds me, I've heard so much about "The Office" so I went to go seek it out. But I cannot find the God damned thing anywhere! Does anyone know where I can find it, pretty please?!

    @Robzinger: Is "Weight of Words" just on ff.net? I couldn't find it on Twilighted. Anyway, that's yet another one I have on my list from a friend badgering me :)

  22. @Layna.lane--Yes, I LOVED AA5, but she pulled it. :( I love CP more. I really need counseling for how much I love Youngward. He's real, right?

  23. And Stranger than Fiction by MasenVixen. How could I possibly forget that?!?!?! 6 years after New Moon (with some modifications) Bella is a feisty bitch and Edward is repentant in a way that I buy. And I've had to invest in new panties from all the ones that have spontaneously combusted from the fuckhawt lemons. And I will admit to really really liking and maybe even rooting a little bit for a non-canon, non-Edward mate for Bella. I KNOW! The moment passed quickly but that really says something about these ladies' skills!! HIGHLY recommended.

  24. I can't lie...for the first time, I completely skipped the other comments to get to the form. Because I knew I would get distracted and add another umpquabillion fics to my must-read list. PS: your nitty gritty phrase is now my go-to. Next to OMGWTFBBQ. Which I still use, 2 weeks later. I digress...

    I, Too have been drawn in by Sins of the Father. Bethaboo has me wrapped around her fucking finger on this fic. Did you READ the last chap?! *thud* I can't believe the shit that went down!!!

    Family biz is on my "read!!!!" list. Let's just say...I had to break down my must reads into a priority spreadsheet (no lie). It's moving up.

    I am SO FUCKING DEEP into EP it hurts. As in, throw my hands in the air and scream at the computer, deep. I just started Broken Doll and Dead Confeds (mostly b/c neverthink's porn is the SHIT on FB)...And I am still pimping the shit out of Georgia on My Mind (ala Twilighted. Tell samekraemer that lindsayrae sent you).
    I'm working down the list from the Twigasm Podcast still, and for every fic I catch up with, I find at least 3 more to add...it's fucking great.

    AND WHO THE HELL DO I HAVE TO FUCK TO GET A BETA ON TWILIGHTED?! I've been asking/searching for months. Maybe I don't get the process or some shit....

  25. i read hit by destiny, and i totally love it. i think its the only time i haven't liked Edward. but he is growing on me (I'm only reading it on twilighted)

    the fic that totally owns my life at the moment is 'this is not my life' by 'isakassees' on ff.net. it updates weekly and every time i see the notification i squeal. its almost embarrassing. its so well written, the characters are so real and the whole story is just amazing. and lily is just the cutest kid ever.

  26. Thanks for the recs JJ! I have added the first two to my list. The Family Business is amazing! That is so great that you rec'd it. @Suzspetals is an amazing writer--I am so in love with Slayerward and SnarkyBella. Aaaand I am a big Buffy fan so I love the slayer angle.

    One of these days I am going to read other books again...someday.

    v/w: 'clamser'

  27. Okay, I'm going to be shameless and plug my fic. It's not complete, but I'm close to wrapping it up - even if it's not very long. It's got lemons, but romance and angst too. It opens up with a personal fantasy of mine. :D

    You can check it out at fan fiction.net The Canvas

    Or at Twilighted The Canvas

    I reserve a special place in my heart for those who review. :D

  28. Why can't FF be available on
    the Kindle? Not all of us have
    cool ass phones that allow you
    to read anything other than 4
    font (if they make a 4 font).
    Wait! I don't have a Kindle
    either. So, I just read at
    home and carry the laptop
    around with me everywhere
    in case wireless is available
    and unsecured at the park.
    There should be a collection
    of the "best of the best FF"
    published because I would love
    to read it in "tree-ware".
    Something about turning the
    pages in a book and sitting
    on a blanket outside makes
    it's a more intimate experience
    with the characters, imho.


  29. @Luxie- weight of words by georgeygirl on ff.net

  30. Oh dear... I just added more fic to my never ending list of "To Read" which is sitting close to 40+
    For the most part I'v kept the fact I read FF under wraps, if anyone ever knew how much I really do read... I think the friends and fam would sign me up for A&E Intervention!

    I'm so in love with this fic:
    "Art School Confidential" by farkle
    Bella finds her artistic muse and total embarrassment in person of life model Edward. How can she get him to model for her when he thinks she is
    a sex-crazed flake? AU-AH, M for nudity, language, lemons. Canon pairings.

    It's SO good! As someone who lived through Art School but never had an "Edward" be my nude male model.... yes ladies nude-modelward! It's great for more then just that, it's a really well written WIP, about an update a month. Not sure if it's on Twilighted but it's on fanfic.net.

  31. Oh my god JJ you are a fuckin saint! Thanks so much for all the recs.

    I'm a relative newcomer to ff, but have devoured Clipped Wings % Inked Armour; Ttopic of Virgo & Tropic of Gemini and am nearly done with Wide Awake. Fan fic is my life now.

    And of course I loves me some weekly Misapprehension of Bella Swan. I usually hate to start a story that's incomplete - I too get my ff's confused and like to read it all at once - but for MoBS, I'll break that rule.

    Some fool suggested I read a non-twilight actual book the other day - yep, a real paper one - and I sniggered. What do they know...

    Keep up the great work ladies xx

  32. Every week I look forward to Wednesdays so I can read MOBS!!!!! I love The Training and This Hungry World (Lolashoes rocks, especially since she just had a baby and still manages to update almost weekly), University of Edward Masen is getting really good. MOTU of course!!!!! I usually only read the mature stuff because if it doesn't have lemons what is the point BUT Seducing Miss Swan is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! Premise: Bella never jumped, Alice never had her vision and Edward never came back. Six years later, Bella is struggling to make a new life for herself as a teacher in Rochester, New York. How will she fare when a very familiar student crops up in her classroom? Will she be able to remain professional, or will old ties get in the way? Only the epilogue is left and I can not wait!!!!! Also reading Expectations and Other Moving Pieces. Very different from what I usually read...Edward and Bella are so angry and hateful toward each other in the beginning but they are warming up. Can't wait for an update from Chrometurtle!

  33. Has anyone read Bella Swan: Zombie Killer? I always see it on Random Acts of Rob ff list and it seems like it would be funny and kinda awesome!

  34. I soooo fucking love "Hit by destiny" - thank you for mentioning it!!

    So now I have to do some fan fiction reading ^^

  35. Argh! I'm not gonna have any time for actual work anymore! I have a permanent tiny window open in the corner of my work screen..

    And can't believe how many times i've got away with my boyfriend sneaking up on me, and having to pretend i was reading something perfectly innocent thats suddenly turned smutty, and being disgusted.

    I love everything, although had enough of anything that involves vampires! Love the edward wallbanger characters... need some humour with my porn!

    One problem... how do you get authorised in the twilighted forum?! I've lost count of the number of times i've registered. :(

  36. @hanaro - they have some serious technical issues as Twilighted. I tried getting an account on the forum for ages, my validation beta intervened, and I was told my account was validated, by I never got the account activation email, without which you cannot active the account. I'm guessing you're in the same boat as me on that one.

  37. oh great guys, i was all set to go to bed early last night because i have to work early this morning. but nooo, i had to read ALL 35 CHAPTERS of 'hit by destiny'. so now i'm freaking out because i NEED her to post more for me to read! and i have to work in two hours. damn it.

  38. Talk about overload. I was going to start the first couple mentioned. Now I have more reccs than I know what to do with.

    Y'all know I love Clipped Wings & Inked Armour. I posted a litte bit ago about my recent weekend. It was eventful, Dr called to say I was in menopause, read CW&IA to th Mr, met Alex Meraz & got pierced like Bella. Day-um.

    Anyone not reading Misapprehension of Bella Swan Considering the Inferior Intelect of Hockey Whores should start immediately. It updates every Wednesday which makes Wednesday the best day of the week.

  39. For some really funny fanfiction (with lemons of course)Mr. Horrible by algonquinrt and Gynazole by TheMrsKing. (I hope I got those names right). They are both on the fanfiction website. Mr. Horrible has the funniest Laurent and James ever.

  40. Is anyone reading Here's To Strategy by LauraLoo?


    I love it!!

  41. Anyone looking for great stories to read, you should check out
    TwiFic Promotions

    We don't accept every fic automatically, it's dedicated to good, quality fics that are currently not that widely known and under 500 reviews - there's really some great ones out there being missed.

    We've recc'd The Family Business and I've loved all of the ones that I've reviewed for the blog, but get really excited when Hide in Plain Sight by FangMom gets updated - the link is on the TFP blog.
    I've mentioned it before, but Call of Booty is another of my faves, that is also reviewed & linked on TFP.

  42. Thank you for another great fanfic post! I luuuurrrvvvv me some fanfic, and am a daily consumer. Thank god I'm unemployed! ;)

    OK, my recent faves are:

    Master of the Universe (MOTU). http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=8511&textsize=3&chapter=1
    I am SO in love with Fifty Shades! If you haven't read this, don't wait another day. I squee every time she updates! I can't believe it will ever end, and I know I will cry!

    The Submissive, The Dominant, and The Training (3 seperate fics, same author) Here's the link to The Submissive, you can jump to the others from here: http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=2629&chapter=1&textsize=2 Tara Sue Me (author) has me so juiced up I'm googling random BDSM shit and wondering if I missed something in my 20's....

    The Misapprehension of Bella Swan - http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=10274 I cannot believe how fucking funny HunterHunting is! This fic manages to be very lemony and hilarious at the same time, I don't know how she does it but I'm laughing with tears rolling while being hot and bothered at the same time. Cudos! Her other fic, Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, was also great and has me wondering what my tatoo should look like (no JJ, I don't have one....yet)

    Can I suggest a subject for a future post? I wonder how many people have "learned" things from fanfic that they didn't know, you know, bedroom-y things (or kitchen table, elevator, super bowl).....I always thought I was pretty experienced (I did especially since I grew up in Miami in the 80's and went to college in San Francisco...where anything goes) but man, have my horizons been broadened, and in a good way!

    Love you all, VM

  43. @Luxie - ah, yes! The science teacher, right? But you know, you're right. Maybe Edward and Bella would have gotten it on SO MUCH SOONER if they had a little Dr. Banner therapy in their lives...

    With all the recs on this list I am not sleeping for the next two years at least.

    @Micki_Martini - I love how organized you are about your fics! Brilliant.

    I am working on my own fic right now, my very first! It's not posted yet - I'm still looking for a beta. I was trying to do something a little different, so it's a Leah fic! I will be sure to let you hookers know when it gets posted. Speaking of which... any betas lurking??

    ALSO one more thing - I am kind of glad to hear that so many other people are having the hardest time trying to get registered for the Twilighted forums. I was beginning to think they had done some background research on me and found out I wasn't fit to join them! ("Oh man, this chick is FUCKED. UP. We can't let her on here." "No, definitely not. Just put her on the 'do not respond' list. Ugh.")

    LAST THING I PROMISE - I am creating a new profile for myself today in the interests of "protecting" my identity (coughnotgettingfiredcough), so from here on out, I'll be known as "Fooorkspimp"!

  44. My all time favorite, stalking Twilighted, waking up at 3AM on Sunday mornings automatically to see if it updated is: Hide and Drink by Savage. The writing is amazing, the story is plausible, not a lot of lemon but the sexual-tension leading up to the lemon is very SM-like. Savage essentially took Edward from Midnight Sun where he is planning different ways to drink Bella's blood, and went in a whole new (OMEthisissofuckingawesome) direction. I am a bit disappointed in the last update, BUT the story is so good I am forgiving and still plan on waking up at 3:00AM this weekend to check for an update.

    Hey h00rs! Re: The Art of Worship -- did you know the book mentioned in the story actually exists? "She Comes First" is an actual book with actual diagrams on the art of cunnilingus! I was at Amazon -- STAT. It's already here. Told the hubby to start studying.

    As far as awkward places I've read ff, where haven't I? I'm burning up the iPhone! All the bookmarks on the iphone's Safari is twismut. Tell you what is the ultimate Robward cock-block though: reading my ff out back while the kids play and having my 80+ neighbor come out without a shirt on. GAH! Eye BLEAAAAAAACH!

  45. MyheartgoesPitterPattinsonMay 12, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    I have a ridiculous running list of fanfics but one that I recommend and have not heard of anyone else reading yet is called Breaking Points. It tells of what really transpired between Edward and Rosalie in their earlier years and why they (pretend) to hate each other now. Amazing writing and if you think you could never get into an Edward/Rosalie story, I dare you to read the first few chapters and tell me you're not hooked. The author eventually gets to the time period of re-telling the books as we know them.


  46. Okay girls, I'm going to be totally shameless here and do something I loathe doing - pimping myself out. Gah.
    My story is called Here's to Strategy and although it's not complete, I am pretty good about updating once a week.
    If you don't like Twilighted, it's also on FF - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5468898/1/Heres_to_Strategy
    Ask Latchkey Wife about it. Really!
    Keep it up girls...we love the recs!

  47. @stan-i like hiding in plain sight as well. that edward reminds me of fifty from MOTU.
    @KC-i know what book i'm getting my hubby for father's day:) or maybe i'll just give it to him for flag day.

  48. Ok, I'm waaaaaay behind in my FF reading. I've only read The List and the Misapprehension of Bella Swan. With all these recommendations, I'd better get cracking! I think my book club's selected reading for the next couple months will have to go on the backburner, I've got some twismut to read. It's all about priorities.

  49. LOL@RobzSinger: "Flag Day". Hell if you order it today, it'll be there by Friday and you can just say you're giving it in celebration of the first Friday of the week!

    Girlfriend, if our husbands can give head like "TwiSmut Eddy" can, we'll be the most happy, satisfied h00r's in Twiland! In real life too . . .

  50. YAY! Fanfic! One of my fave subjects! I read at work from time to time, which is SO wrong, I will admit, but what can I say? I get bored and there's internet access and...well. Hey, I get my work done, and that's what counts, right?? *sigh*

    Anyway! I will admit I'm extremely picky about my fanfic, so if I recommend one, it's gone through a whole lot of my peculiarities to get there. For example, bad grammar and misspellings pretty much drive me nuts, and unless the fic is just so excellent that I can overlook it, if the first chapter has blatant problems grammar-wise, I'm outta there.

    I also want a decent plot in my fics, not just an excuse to write lemon after lemon after lemon. (Yeah, I know, but still.) For me, that's like watching porn after a while -- it kind of gets boring if you don't change it up, know what I mean? That's why certain fics that seem to be beloved by many, and have even been mentioned here in the comments today, just don't make it for me.

    So once again, I HIGHLY recommend MoBS by hunterhunting, who knows her way around both a plot and lemons like no one else, plus never fails to make me laugh. I also loved her CWaIA, despite the fact that I'm not really into inking or piercings.

    I also love "Hide and Drink," by Savage7289, despite the fact that her Edward is actually pretty creepy. I love how uncompromising she's been with it, though, and her writing is stellar.

    There are others I would happily recommend, if they would update regularly, but they don't, so I can't in all good conscience. For me, I don't want to turn someone on to a fic that takes so long to update that you forget what the last chapter (or even the fic itself) was about in the first place. That said, thanks to all the ff writers who do this stuff for free. These days, I'd rather read fanfic than read books most of the time. I tried reading that Black Dagger Brotherhood series of vampire novels? And GEEZ. Seriously...I've found MUCH better writers in fanfic. For free. Sorry this was so long...I can't seem to stop yammering. :/

  51. Sacrifices by Enthralled over at fanfiction. It is sad, AU, but really, really good. Cullens never came back, Bella got bit by Victoria. They all meet up again by chance years later.

  52. Wow! Thanks so much to JJ and LKW for the rec. My traffic on The Family Business just spiked substantially *cough* not that I follow that shit *cough* I swore I'd never read ff, then smoked the Wide Awake crack pipe. Promised myself I'd never write it and now Slayerward has taken over my life. As a result, most of my reading is on hold so I can keep me and my characters sane. (Don't worry - Fifty - I'd never shelf you.)
    A few rec's from me: Two of my complete favorites are Mr. Horrible by algonquinrt (funny as hell & well-written) and for a dark detour, Daedalus in Exile is delicious. In progress, but worth the wait is Company Loves Misery by AngstGoddess003.
    I'm going to moonlight out of TFB with a one-shot soon and I've posted a TFB outtake on The Fandom Gives Back auction. Thanks guys, for reading my crazy little story! Twitards rock the world.

  53. On Ch. 3 of The Blessing and The Curse! This story is awesome!

  54. God I love this blog! You ladies with your snarky, whitty sense of humor always crack me the fuck up. The toilet pic.. yeah I've been there.

    The things pwning me these days...
    Ambiguous Destiny by sparagus
    Deep Dish by starfish422
    I wept not by arcadianmaggie
    Mergers and Acquisitions by Touchstone67/Domwards mistress

  55. Ok I gotta rec another one. I'm not normally into vamp fics, preferring AH but... Incubus Anomaly by elusivetwilight is awesome so far! This Vampward is sexy as FUCK!!! He is seductive, mysterious, and he just fucking smolders. This is my fantasy vampire in every way. His breath makes women want with desire. Bella's cool too, she has a motorcycle, a Mustang, and she smokes.

  56. Um, ok, 53 FFs now on my "must read" list. I don't know where to start!

  57. Is anyone else reading so much unfinished fanfic at once you get confused as to which story is which when they update?

    Is this the one with Goth Bella turned Vamp? Or sober, angsty Edward? Or is this the one where we're left hanging with a car accident and they're all human?

    I think I need a moratorium on unfinished fan-fic for a while. It's like reading twenty different books and putting them down at odd places. I usually max out on four books at a time. Insanity I tell you!

  58. So, I am completely obsessed with FF and I can't even read something non-Twilight related anymore. My husband wanted me to read the new Dan Brown book and I got 2 pages in and couldn't do it. There was no Edward, Bella or lemons to be had. So back to FF it is!!

    I have been making my way through all the past suggestions and love MoTU and Univesity of Edward Masen. Thanks to you all, I have about 40 more recommendations to add to my list!!!

    I don't have an iphone, but I have an itouch and so I copy all the stories from Twilighted into Word, print them as a pdf and then download them to my itouch so I can read them without being online. Or I use the FanFiction downloader.

    I can't get enough!!!

  59. Too funny. I read ff on my blackberry (take it everywhere I go). My 4 yr old son says "put the blackberry down mommy!" Thank you for the recs. I usually scour the award pages for the winners of AH/AU categories.

  60. I got WAY too excited about this post to be considered normal and will have to go through all the recs tonight to add to my million miles long list. I don't have time to read all of the posts yet, but did you guys include:

    Misapprehension of Bella Swan
    Edward Wallbanger
    A little Crazy
    15 Step
    Breaking News
    Clipped Wings & Inked Armor
    Emancipation Proclamation
    Hydraulic Level 5
    Illegal Contact
    Mr Horrible
    Silver Strand Nights
    Stranger than Fiction
    The Family Business
    Wide Awake
    Work in Progress

    These are all on ff.net; I haven't been over to twilighted.net in ages, but I have a whole separate list there. I've read fanfic in so many embarrassing places that it's more disturbing than funny.

  61. My fanfic TBR list is like laundry. It is never "done." It just keeps piling up.

    Although, it's much more enjoyable than laundry.

  62. I have recently discovered the wonderful world of fan fic. I've read The List and I'm now reading MOTU - loving it!!!! I literally sat at my desk for about 2 hours at work reading it off my phone (whilst trying to make it look as though I'm reading a report....unconvincingly!)

  63. Ah, my fellow FF h00rs. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one panting pretty much all day long these days while reading this insanely hot smut.

    The thing that is blowing my mind is I have about 10 in progress stories I'm reading, and maybe 20 more on my list of to read, and I still haven't read the three in this post and many in the comments. Will I ever get to all the goodness??

  64. I hate all of you. Now I have 50 bazillion more to add to my growing fanfic file.

    There are too many to name, but I'll list a few:

    one shot (now expanded). A Little Crazy. No Words to describe the beauty.

    Fave One shot Slash: Tuesday Night Poker. Very funny - nice introduction to slash

    Fave multi-chapter slash: The Trip Home, JxExB - OMG! (I'd say The Arrangement, but it's on hold)

    Fave Crackfic: Jingle Balls

    Strangest place: On line to meet the first lady - yours truly was reading fanfic. What? Don't judge it was a long line.

  65. Does anyone know what the hell happened to The Office?
    I started reading ff just recently. And that was on my list of must reads because I've heard so many people praise it. But I can't find it any where!

  66. @Jayla Awww! Thanks so much for mentioning Jingle Balls. It amazes me, it still gets more hits than anything else I've got up on ff.net, even now it's May! Everytime someone favourites it I have a little giggle :o)


  67. Oh JJ... If Sins of the Father hadn't already had me sucked in in the first few chapters, it would have definitely pwned me when I cheated and looked at the concert playlist before reading the chapter and found all the Dropkick Murphys with some Flogging Molly thrown in. I've loved Dropkick Murphys since I saw them play in 1997. (Feeling a little like grandma "Back in my day.." -ing)

    I've got a shit-ton of FF going right now... Loving Breaking News, Edward Wallbanger, No Place Like Home. For completes... Trust in Advertising (It's been pulled, I hope like hell it's because it' being published...), The Lost Boys, Mr horrible, Poughkeepsie... I know there's a ton more.

    I've also recently discovered omnificpublishing.com. They're publishing several stories. Boycotts & Barflies enters my head, and the others go. I know there's 5 or 6 of them so far.

  68. right now i am reading MOTU, University of Edward Mason and the training.
    i cant add any more stories to my favorites .... i am desperately waiting for updates.

  69. Woo hoo, first post as Fooorkspimp! (PKA Amanda)

    I am a huge fan of The Lost Boys. The thing I love best about this story is Rose and Emmett - I LOVE them in this story! They are seriously my favorites. I found myself breezing past some Bella and Edward stuff to be like "But what will ROSE say next??"


  70. Gah... fanfiction -- 14 months now I've been reading Twific and it's the gift that keeps on giving.

    thanks for the recs JJ, I'll definitely check those out.

    Like many here I LOVE:
    * Stranger than Fiction (so interesting, so well-written, so hot, and even better I don't want to slap Bella in this one).

    * Misapprehension of Bella Swan (gah)

    * An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy (this is the most adorable fic I've read and gosh it takes me back to 13 yrs old - so funny and sweet)

    * Love on Wheels: 1978 roller disco Edward, Emmett with a fro. It's funny and cute.

    other ones I love right now:
    * An Abridged Account (a vamp fic, where Edward, while a virgin, has had *some* sexual experiences at different times of his life, and Bella, though jealous, wants to know all about them... but is this a good idea?).

    * Ultio (this is on Twilighted.net - it's very very dark. Vampward lost his mate Kate, and his sister Alice were killed brutally in Forks in 1978 (wolves, but teen charlie was hanging with them) Edward has bided his time for vengeance and is now seducing and corrupting innocent Bella Swan and sending her father into a tailspin. Edward's basically a very sexy psycho in this one.

    sizzling hot oneshots if you just want a quick 'fix':

    Mistletoe Manipulation
    Want No More
    On the Double

  71. This comment has been removed by the author.

  72. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  73. Okay, this is where I get serious. Jokes and silly bullshit aside I am gonna tell you about a few fics Im currently in love with.

    High Anxiety-
    Fanfiction.net and Twilighted
    Edward "the golden boy" was accused of raping his best friend one drunken night. He has been slapped with a restraining order that makes his life absolute hell. It makes life impossible and unbearable for his family. He copes through drugs and anti social behavior. He's not allowed to touch ANY females until he turns 18. (Edward and Bella are currently 16 in the story) It's so heart breaking to read. Will Bella and Edward have the strength to not touch eachother? And what happens when Bella's dad, a cop, finds out about Edwards dark past?
    Can he ever escape the stigma now attatched to his name?

    The weight of words-
    Edward was accused of having innapropriate relations with one of his students therefore banned from his highbrow English University. He returns home to Canada, all eyes on him, for a second chance to teach. It is here that he meets Bella, a student. Can he restrain himself? (This story is very artsy fartsy with Shakespear and lot's of literature referrances. Edward is super smart and soooo hot in this fic!)

    The Woods are dark lovely and deep-
    This story takes place in a Forks bed and breakfast. Edward is a loner who has been staying at this bed and breakfast for nearly a month. No one can figure out why he's there. He doesn't really open up to anyone until he hears screaming from the occupant in the room next to his; Bella Swan. From their first bloody incounter, Bella and Edward tip toe around eachother, figuring out the others dark secrets. And no, he's not a vampire. (This fic is addicting!Please read it!)

    Trust me, these are worth your time. What I love about them is, like JJ said, their not all about instant gratification. The lemons are there... just delayed, which makes it that much hotter.

  74. Oops.I forget another one. Sorry. I told you Im nuts about my stories. Im worse than a soap opera fanatic.

    The boy in the red sweater-
    (this story has an Edward pov as well, called the girl with the red notebook)
    This story was my first shyward. The new boy, Edward Cullen, wears the same red sweater day after day. It's falling apart, frayed at the sleeves and smells like apples. He rarely makes eye contact and whispers when he does speak. Bella seems to be the only one willing to protect him from Jessica and Laurens gang. Over time Bella breaks through Edwards barrier only to discover a beautiful, intelligent, broken boy. Can she fix him? Can he fix her? In this fic, Renee kills herself and Alice and Jasper have major psycological problems. This story is full of angst but worth it!

  75. Dear God in heaven, thank you for the yummy recs!

    And here's mine:

    The Confidence Man


  76. Oh goodie! I'm about to head off to a new work assignment for a month with only very occasional internet access and so I wanted a new pile that I could paste into Word to keep me busy. But this is an arduous task. If anyone knows any tricks to get online stories stashed for offline reading, please do share.

    I also have a weird habit of NOT reading the new updates of stories I'm following for awhile. I like having my cake for awhile before eating it too.

    But, because of ff pulling a lot of stories, I don't trust the site. But now I see JJ says that Hit by Destiny has more posted on FF than on Twilighted? WTF? Must I always cross reference? CAn't I just pick a site and stick with it?

    No new stories to add to the list. I'm so little sister here in FF realm, just trying to keep up with you hOors.

  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

  78. Ugg! I had sworn off the FF for a bit since I have developed an all consuming affinity to it which leads me to MUCH sleep loss...and I'm not sure if I should thank anyone for getting me hooked but I sure do enjoy these stories/books... now I am going to have to consider some of your recc's JJ.

    @Twired- Suggestions for introducing peeps: I introduced my “friend” by noting that many of the fics are written by aspiring writers who use the elements to hone their craft..thus the OOC/AU fics use easily visualized characters and OFTEN retain the core personality traits that we love as Twilight fans.

    I have recently read the following FF:

    ~Hide & Drink by Savage7289
    Summary:Bella's blood was just too tempting to be ignored. In this version of Twilight, Edward takes Bella on a sadistic journey with his monstrous side. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster feeding from her for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor.
    **Darkward, sadistic at times but brilliant in his feeding tactics...

    **I WILL PIMP THIS ONE UNTIL I'm BLUE** All Human, period piece**AU
    ~A Picture of Dorian Gray an FF by CorvidCoccinelle
    Summary Ch5: "'I will need your services Madam Chang,' Mr. Cullen's voice was still angry and I wished I had not followed him to this place. But what were my options now? If I were to shake off his hand and run into the street, what then? I had not notion of where I was in this foreign city and I had no doubt that a young woman by herself on these streets would not fare well. What else could I do? I looked imploringly at Mr. Cullen, he ignored me completely yet his grip on my arm tightened. 'I will need a pipe and Lola.' He began up the stairs dragging me with him in his wake.**Give it a go at least past chapter five. It's steamy and the characters are endearing. Bastward.

    ~Wide Awake an FF by AngstGoddess00The story can be found in PDF, which is what won me over (900+pages). Bella & Edward survive some traumatic shit and find solace in one another...she bakes cookies**It took me a while to get into this one because the characters can be asses but I truly appreciate the content.

    My favorite FF of all time:
    ~Beyond The Broken Scars an FF by December.Eclipse.
    **The story is non-cannon pairing at first BUT I promise it's a great vamp story with ACTION, lemons, and so many twists you will read it in one sitting.

    ~Into The Grey House an FF by pdd912. Lite BDSM. OOC, AU. **Along the lines of Story of O but FAR less depressing.

    ~As If I Never Existed an FF by hopeful wager. **This writer’s previous tale was TALAY (Twice As Long As Yesterday, an amazing effing fic.) So this one should have some potential.
    Summary: she missed her father. Now they lived on opposite sides of the country, he in Washington and she in Florida, and she got the impression from the time they had spent together while she recovered in the hospital that he wasn't a particularly verbose or long-rambling-conversations-into-the-night type of dad. Still, he had been nearly omnipresent at Seattle General, and seemed genuinely crushed with grief (though he and Renee tried to give the illusion of a united front) when they had informed Bella towards the end of her recovery that she would be going to live in Jacksonville with her mother. Bella’s has amnesia after an incident. She starts senior year over and an unexpected family comes to check on her in the face of looming danger. **Anything is possible with this.

    There Will Be Blood an FF by LaraWinner
    Vampires are being hunted by Charlie and have been publicly outed. Darkward.

    I'm off my pimpin’ soapbox. Better late than never.

    @Anonymous- I recently "finished" as much as is available University of Edward Masen also, it's worth a read.

    @ANYONE: has anyone read one where Bella is confident and isn't an insecure or overly defiant witch? Suggestions....

  79. FUCK. I knew I would go back and read those that posted after me and now I'm screwed. My TBR list is at 243 and I keep having to send it to my Beta to prioritize because I can't keep track of what I should be reading! ACK!

    Oh, and btw: Your Biggest Fan by OfTheDamned (sooo fucking good, and it's slash yay!)

    Oh, and listen to @Clairdeluneisgreat - Ambiguous Destiny by sparagus is fan-fucking-tastic and I'm lucky enough to beta it for her. It is phenominal!

    Oh, and @Jayla? Tuesday Night Poker was SO fantastic - I think i've read it three times. At least. Halleluia, slash, i <3 u.

    k, i'm really done now. promise :)

  80. I haven't read an E/B fic in months. I've gone over to the dark non-canon pairing side! but you've really piqued my interest with these recs! Espec the first 2. I'm gonna add them to the top of my to-read list and get to them as soon as I finish the True Blood books, which btw, can I just say have about a plot hole in them per chapter! But yeh they're still fun.
    Ty for the recs and I was LOL-ing at the reading in random places. Worst place I've read a lemon? My & year old cousins birthday party. "What do u think I'm reading Mr older relative...it's my email!"

  81. Has anyone read Bella Swan: Zombie Killer? I always see it on Random Acts of Rob ff list and it seems like it would be funny and kinda awesome!

  82. Every week I look forward to Wednesdays so I can read MOBS!!!!! I love The Training and This Hungry World (Lolashoes rocks, especially since she just had a baby and still manages to update almost weekly), University of Edward Masen is getting really good. MOTU of course!!!!! I usually only read the mature stuff because if it doesn't have lemons what is the point BUT Seducing Miss Swan is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! Premise: Bella never jumped, Alice never had her vision and Edward never came back. Six years later, Bella is struggling to make a new life for herself as a teacher in Rochester, New York. How will she fare when a very familiar student crops up in her classroom? Will she be able to remain professional, or will old ties get in the way? Only the epilogue is left and I can not wait!!!!! Also reading Expectations and Other Moving Pieces. Very different from what I usually read...Edward and Bella are so angry and hateful toward each other in the beginning but they are warming up. Can't wait for an update from Chrometurtle!

  83. Thanks for the recs JJ! I have added the first two to my list. The Family Business is amazing! That is so great that you rec'd it. @Suzspetals is an amazing writer--I am so in love with Slayerward and SnarkyBella. Aaaand I am a big Buffy fan so I love the slayer angle.

    One of these days I am going to read other books again...someday.

    v/w: 'clamser'

  84. i read hit by destiny, and i totally love it. i think its the only time i haven't liked Edward. but he is growing on me (I'm only reading it on twilighted)

    the fic that totally owns my life at the moment is 'this is not my life' by 'isakassees' on ff.net. it updates weekly and every time i see the notification i squeal. its almost embarrassing. its so well written, the characters are so real and the whole story is just amazing. and lily is just the cutest kid ever.


Comments are our life now. Leave one!