Thursday, May 27, 2010

How Does Robert Pattinson Really Smell?

I often wonder if Robert Pattinson really does smell or if it's just some nasty rumor some average looking asshole started to try and get all the hoards of women to stop giving two shits about him. And it doesn't help matters that Rob himself has actually joked? about not washing his hair. And yes, I know this is old news and a lot of his female costars have come forward and claimed he smelled wonderful. Blah, blah, blah... but yes, I'm kinda dying to know what he does smell like.

Hmmmm... hair looks washed here...

This is going to sound weird and so 80's of me, but I had this boyfriend in high school who used to wear Old Spice. I know, I know, so old-man-ish, but there was something about that scent, that made me absolutely crazy to the point of needing to jump his bones immediately. (I'm so glad my dad never wore that shit because that probably really would have confused me and possibly resulted in a need for therapy.) I can't be held accountable for what I would do to RPattz, should he smell like this.

Since I'm never happy with secondhand information, I think I'm going to have to gather my own proof. I'm not willing to take just anyone's word for it. I would like to set up my own meeting with Mr. Pattinson to find out exactly what he smells like [JJ's note - if he sees you coming he's just going to smell like fear]. And this isn't a project that I'll be taking lightly. There has been far too much speculation regarding the eau de RPattz so I feel like it's my civic duty to put the rumors to rest.

Huh? Looks fresh and clean here...

This is going to be a tricky mission. Especially with the recent discovery that there may or may not be a restraining order against me after my last interview with Robert. I must be very sensitive to his feelings and try not to dry hump his leg every time he turns his back on me. I'm hoping that if I just sign something resigning myself to being handcuffed while in his presence (oooh, Robbie, me likey the cuffs), he will let me conduct my study.

I'm going to need to spend at least two weeks with him to gather the necessary research to correctly report on his scent. I will need to be with him at all times... including in the shower to see if he really washes his hair complete with shampoo, or if he maybe wears a shower cap to maintain that unkempt, dirty, just-fucked look. I will need to be with him when he dresses to find out his deodorant situation, and to make sure he's at least wearing clean underwear.

It'll be like this but more sexual, less clinical.

For me there's just nothing worse than the smell of b.o. and dirty hair so I asked myself, self, would that be a deal killer for you? Would I cut all ties with the Robsessed world and the Twidom if I found him to smell less than acceptable for my olfactory senses?

Ahhhh, fuck no! Hey, my dog smells. I mean he smells really bad. All the time. I can give him a bath and like three hours later he smells again. That's just his breed - he's a hound and those damn hounds, while incredibly handsome, smell like ass all. the. time! And does that make me love my dog any less? Nope. And like anything, you get used to the smell to a point where you don't smell it anymore. I know there have been times when my mom has come to visit and will comment on how bad the dog smells. I don't smell it. Oh well... Should Rob be stinky, I'd be willing to get acclimated... That's right - I would do that. For him.

And well shit, he looks freshly showered here too...

So I'm thinking this is good news. Even if RPattz is the stinkiest dude on earth, I know that at some point, I would get used to it. I wonder if that's why KStew always has a look on her face like she's just smelled something really bad. Even she can't stand to be with him. She probably doesn't have a dog that has honed her ability to smell bad things and not die from it.

And Rob? Please stop with all the joking about your dirty hair and lack of showering... the whole cutting the hair because of a 'nit infestation'. Totally freaked me out. Plus dirty nits couldn't survive in hair so pretty. Only butterflies and unicorns can live there.

I wouldn't kick him out of bed no matter how bad he smelled! Would you?

60 comments:

  1. Kick him out of bed? Never, Never Never!!! Worst case, I'd drag him into the shower with me and show him how much fun we could have there together. SIGH...then, I would send all his clothes to the cleaners!

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  2. Even though I do tend to like my boys clean cut, I would NOT kick Rob to the curb for smelling bad. There is a very simple solution to this problem....I would be more than happy to give him a shower or bath before any sucka fucka went on.
    That said, my Twi-crack pusher - the one who got me hooked - dropped Rob like a hot potato when the very first story of his 'poor hygeine' came out. She seriously doesn't even think he's attractive anymore & has the balls to make gagging noises when I talk about wanting to do him 'til it breaks. WTF? Guess she didn't really love him to begin with. Whatever, more Rob for me.
    Oh, and thanks for that last pic...it's my favorite....hot hot hot.

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  3. OMG! I am always wondering the same thing. I asked the *cough stupid little twits* very nice young girls that Rob dropped in on for the Oprah taping what he smelled like and they said nothing. Whaaaaa!?! NOTHING F*ING REALLY!?! Eh oh well. I guess I would only trust my own nose. I have a very sensitive sense of smell so I could pick up on everything. I told Marie from Twilight Junkies Anonymous that I think he smells like day old beer and cigarettes, only supposing I saw him in the morning. If it were the evening he would smell like fresh beer and fresh cigs and maybe a little dirty guy like he had been working all day. LOL

    I really wish I was only ever close enough to him to really smell him for myself.

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  4. No, I would definitely not kick him out of bed. Just breathe through your mouth as much as possible, unless your...

    Anyways, um, er, I’m sure he smells like whatever he washes himself with.

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  5. LOL, my husband wears Old Spice, but I LOVE it! :D

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  6. Mmmm, what i wouldn't give to find out for myself ;) and no, I wouldn't kick him outta bed, not even if he stank of cigarettes, which I hate. My (sorta) BIL always reeks of them and it's desensitized me a little. If the worst came to the worst, I'd just Febreeze him, then do him (Rob not my BIL. ewwwww).

    @LKW: My mom's Scotties always smell like soggy wet gross old carpet. Even if Rob has never washed since the day he hit puberty I don't think he could smell as bad as they do.

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  7. My first love wore "Brut" aftershave...oh man, it would drive me wild...LMAO! I still tingle in my girly parts where I catch a whiff.

    I'm sure Rob smells like soap. I don't take him for a cologne guy. But, if I get close enough (yeah right) at the LA Twilight Convention, I'll be sure to report back ;)

    xo J

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  9. OMG Old Spice is my turn on fragrance too! I know when I walk in the bedroom at night and it reeks of OS, Mr. Moxie thinks he's gettin some.

    Don't worry, if RPatzz is in a constant state of stank, at least you can douse him in OS. Lets just hope he doesn't have chronic halitosis cuz there ain't no getting used to that shit.

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  10. I'll have you know I just pictured a tiny rainbow butterfly flitting out of his luscious locks in that fuckawesome tie picture, echoed by the plaintive whinny of a sparkly unicorn.

    LKW, I will support you in your clinical trial. I think in order to be truly scientific, he'll have to do some strenuous exercise first. Yeah. He'll have to keep fuckingCOUGHIMEAN exercising for at least two hours. That's really the only way to tell how he'd ACTUALLY smell. I can help you put him through his paces if you like, LKW. ;) I can think of some excellent tests. "Yes, Rob, you'll need to pull her leg over your shoulder. That's it. Okay, now you're going to want to do that against a wall. Uh-huh, just cup it like that..."

    I, too, have heard that he's really quite stinky, but I think I would have a hard time bringing myself to care too much. I mean, straight-up BO is pretty awful, but there IS a certain guy-smell that's really rather nice. The just-fucked, kinda sweaty smell, I actually really like. Not I-haven't-bathed-for-days smell, but a little... ripeness is actually kind of nice, especially when it's because you just had cuhrazy sweaty sex.

    WELL on that note, I'm going to go back to my Friday night programming of picking up replacement AAs and watching my retarded cat chase his tail through his legs on the windowsill.

    Ta-ta, mothafuckaaaas!

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  11. PS When I was 18 my boyfriend wore one of the various incarnations of Axe - I know, I know - and it made me SO HOT I can't even tell you. I had an old spray can of it that I used to just... smell.

    I KNOW NERD ALERT

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  12. The only cologne I can remember a boyfriend from my teen years wearing was Drakkar Noir. Remember that one ladies? I don't want to smell or see that shit ever again!

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  13. @mmMoxie - Drakkar? Ugh! That was such a guido Jersey "down-the-shore" kinda cologne. So gross.

    So yes, clearly I remember it well.

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  14. @JJ - it was the favorite for Chicago Polocks too LOL

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  15. my highschool boyfriend wore polo. i lurved it, but now it makes me nauseous.

    i imagine rob smelling like an ashtray. i can't overlook that.

    if anyone hasn't seen it, billy burke has posted a video for "Removed" on his website. i'm loving the close-ups of his mouth. wouldn't be able to compete with his wife tho.

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  16. @HypoVag: "ShowerHeadRob".....too right about that....no judging here!

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  17. Lmao at the butterflies and unicorns...I almost lost it! I wouldn't care if he smelled like 3 day old milk and egg farts any nose can be desensitized with enough exposure...sigh....mmmm..sorry, um I like to imagine he's smell like naturally manly without the locker room corn chip smell..you know, slightly musky and tangy..earthy and sexilicious...If they ever bottle that shit I'll buy a case :)

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  18. Lmao at the butterflies and unicorns...I almost lost it! I wouldn't care if he smelled like 3 day old milk and egg farts any nose can be desensitized with enough exposure...sigh....mmmm..sorry, um I like to imagine he's smell like naturally manly without the locker room corn chip smell..you know, slightly musky and tangy..earthy and sexilicious...If they ever bottle that shit I'll buy a case :)hehe, my verification word is fouct >;)

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  19. @Porphyrias_Curse - hells yeah girl, I'll buy a case too! Can we call it "Earthy and Sexilicious?"

    Loves.

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  20. @moxie- apparently Drakkar was big for Catholic boys in the suburbs of Detroit as well. i think i actually liked it-lol.

    @twired- i don't take him for a cologne guy either.

    perhaps he smell of incense after smoking so much pot with kstew.

    that's what i would do if he was in my bed. pork him and then light up a doobie together.

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  21. Poor LKW... "if he sees you coming he's just going to smell like fear" LMFAO!!! I'll help you hold him down

    @Banshee713 - The visual image of making the prettay stand spread eagle to get a dousing of Febreeze is almost too much to bear

    @mmMoxie - oh I REMEMBER Drakkar. It was quite popular in the upstate NY region as well.

    As for the smell of Rob...It can't be all that bad. I suspect beer and cigarettes to be the overwhelming scent. Nothing worth kicking him out for. Dirty boys can be cleaned afterall. Besides, remember in high school how most boys had that goat-like smell. We all got over that and snogged them anyway!

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  22. @LKW: LOL Where do you come up with these pics? I mean what does one google.. armpit sniffing contest?! lmao Yeah I 'bout gave myself whiplash with the *facepalm* maneuver during that whole 'nit infestation' debacle. And I'm pretty sure Ellen was a little weirded out. Rob you know not what you do! Doesn't he realize that some lame mag rag will print: Dirty Rpattz admits to having an extreme case of head lice! And Kstew was spotted the other day scratching her head [insert year old picture]. Is another hair cut in order for Stew? .. [Gasp] Another mullet shag?!
    "Only butterflies and unicorns can live there." --Bahahaha Yes think happy thoughts!

    Yeh I'd be willing to bet he smells like cigs and beer. That's alright. Spritz a lil' Burberry cologne and you got a heady combo a la my ex bf. Yeh, I can work with that.

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  23. My hormones and I don't give a shit what he smells like. Heeeeeere, pretty pretty pretty!

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  24. Dang, girl. Old Spice. My dad wore that. LOL. I had a boyfriend in highschool that wore Stetson. I sneakily suggest it to my husband for said reason. *evil grin here* It drives me absolutely crazy.

    I imagine Rob has a variety of smells. We all do. For instance he travels alot and lives out of his luggage, resorting to stealing clean underwear from set. He most likely smells musty at times. Who really smells good after travling that much? Then there's the fresh and clean Rob that I imagine smells like body wash and after shave. Mmmmm, Fifty shades. Makes me want to lick his scruffy jaw. However, his smells is okay with me because I'd pretty much stick my face in any stanky Rob body part there is.

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  25. @Fooorkspimp heck yeah we can call it Earthy and Sexilicious...we can even have variations for all the various Rob scents... "stoned and fuckilicious" for after he hits the ganj, lord knows that crap makes me horny lol, "tired and rapeilicious" for when he's been traveling and all he wants to do is lay back and take it..
    @luxie Lmao, You know KStew totally would be the one to give him lice...but I bet they'd be body lice, the kind the dr gives you the special shampoo for that really doesn't make you feel special.hehe

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  26. Ok I can deal with almost any smell but I could not be romanticly linked with someone who chained smoked. That scent lingers and rubs off, trust me, I come from a long line of chain smokers (I'm one of the few exceptions, can't stand the stuff.) But I can vouch for one of the overlooked Twilight Saga guys. Michael Welch smells amazing...like soap, very clean. And this was after doing karaoke all evening. I was expecting the typical sweaty boy smell, like my DH after a softball game, but he smelled amazing.

    And a note on the colgne debate, my DH wears Adidas Moves which I'm particularly partial to.

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  27. The BO is a deal breaker for me in general, but when it comes to Rob, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't quit the Twidom because of it. I might even endure it during a humping session, but I'd be gravely disappointed in his hygiene. Now that you mention it, LKW, it is very annoying how he's always trying to portray himself as this smelly person.

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  28. I used to give my brother Old Spice for Christmas every year as a joke...hahaha! I think my dad wore it for real.

    I have never been with a guy that wears cologne probably because I have always been with the scruffy, beer drinking, cigarette smoking, types. I am sure his man scent would be just right. A lot of Brits like their nasty cologne but he doesn't seem the type. I imagine him smelling like generic shampoo smell and hair product. I wonder what flavor toothpaste he uses? Even when Mr. VitR is uber stinky (he is the scruffy, beery drinking, cigarette smoking type) he always smells just right in the crook of his neck. I would like to dive into that crook or nook of Rob's neck and take a long whiff. I bet it would be heaven.

    I did, however, once kiss a guy in high school that I had been lusting after for a long, long time. The minute he kissed me I was completely grossed out. He tasted bad, he smelled bad, he even felt bad. Oh and about 1 minute after our first kiss he puked. Apparently the feeling was mutual. ;-) Yep, that was a short-lived romance.

    Bottle his scent, they will cum. Good gawd did I just type that? Why yes, yes I did.

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  29. I'm thinking he smells like a combo of airplane/hotel room with a slight touch of B/O (which I kinda likey) and some funky fangirrrrrl residue.

    I don't really give a fuck what he smells like...I still want to rape his face.

    Yeah. I said it.

    xoxo
    E

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  30. LOL, the guy I was infatuated with/ dated/first love in High school wore Old Spice. Totes know what you mean about that one!

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  31. He definitely needs to stop spreading his own rumors that he is dirty (and not in a good way dirty) like on Leno in 08 when he told him and Heidi Klum that he has no sense of style or personal hygiene and didn't wash his hair and it looked like he hadn't washed it in days as well lol and of course what he told Ellen. The only thing I wouldn't be able to stand is extreme bo and the cigs.

    I have a friend who met him in Frankfurt before Cannes last year (yes there's photographic proof of said meeting lol) and she said he smelt clean like soap but no cologne. I say this is a great idea, let us know how it goes LOL.

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  32. @mmMoxie ~ You just took me back to 9th grade w/ the Drakkar...I remember we had this tradition at my HS where the football players would let thier girlfriends wear thier jerseys on game day (fridays) and my Dude always sprayed his with that shit. I thought it was bomb then...now I recognize it for the nasal assault that it really is.

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  33. And omg the talk of Drakkar reminds me- don't they make that shit in pine tree car smellys too? ACK I think that was the one. I went somewhere with my mom one day and got in her car and about gagged. I said wtf is that smell? She of course didn't know what I was talking about and I said that disgusting cologne smell. She said it was her air freshener. I made her toss the effing thing out the window and told her coconut was the only way to roll LOL

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  34. Jesus, LKW, I am constantly amazed by how you get my brain to think about things I don't think I should think about. Rob's smell? Imma sit here on the couch and ponder this......and the pit smelling pic. There's a big ole neon WTF? sign blinking over my head about that piece of work.

    Back to RP. We all know there's going to be some serious smoke smell going on. Give me some tic tacs, and I am so over that. If his cancer stick sucking tongue wants to be any where near my body without bribery or blackmail, I will suck.it.UP. Fuck, I'll inhale his exhales if it means I can feel the rough path his tongue will make along my curves...*note to self: save that line for the fic!*

    As for the BO...I don't do smelly. I'm almost positive RP smells juuuust fine, and he's just trying to weedle the fandom down a little bit, to see who the most devoted fans are. Because if you can handle a smokey, smelly, dirty Rob (along with the possibility of , you can handle anything. Besides, I could just pour all sorts of anything on him!

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  35. my bf in college wore old spice.... and worked at a pizza joint, two smells that should never mix! i lived with that for a year.... i would gladly taken on whatever rob smells like, lice and all... wait maybe not the lice..
    in my brain he smells like hotel soap, ciggs and day old beer.

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  36. Unicorns - LOL! A great visual, but might leave a serious manure trail...

    Give this man a bottle of Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap and he can use it one his hair, his pecs, his peen, his smokey duds, and Kristen ...not necessarily in that order.

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  37. lol I used to freak out that I heard Brad Pitt didn't wash his hair. Yet I'm not grossed out by Rob.
    I am dying to post a video of PFach talking about Rob's hygiene issues. So against the rules since I wasn't supposed to be filming anyways but I could just transcript it...

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  38. OMG I am a Michigander and in the eighties all the highschool boys wore Polo and Drakkar- too funny! Still LOVE Polo because it reminds me of Prom! And being a teenager. Wish I still am. Inside. as am I on this site all the time. And yes frankly he does look like he smells because of the smoking and that is a pretty big turn off.

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  39. It's like old cologne home week around here. I remember all those from high school! When the boys used to bathe in it...

    As an adult I've become so incredibly sensitive to cologne and perfume smells. Gross... luckily the hubs isn't a cologne guy. And oddly enough, I work in an office of about 17 people and none of them wear an offensive amount of scent. Thankfully... it makes me fucking gag!

    I hope RPattz smells like soap. And even though I'm not a fan of ciggie smell, I'll take it on him. Fuck, he makes me want to take up smoking again!!

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  40. I was laughing so hard when I read this. Stoney and I were recently robbed of our chances to see 100 Monkeys due to real live BS. My most gigantic-ist of regrets is not getting an official first hand report of exactly how J-bone smells. It's the only way to truely complete the fantasy! I'm pretty sure you could develop a strenous acclimation process to either of those men involving constant skin-on-skin exposure! It would be tough work, but someone's gotta do it!!!

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  41. How does Rob smell? With his nose, bwahahahahahaha.

    Actually, he smells like me. He doesn't shower after we have sex. It's his thing...don't judge.

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  42. I like to believe that I KNOW what Rob smells like.

    When Twilight came out, there was an article about the hair and make up of the cast, including Robs hair. The hairdresser used Black & White Hair Dressing Pomade for Edward's hair. Why? It was Robert Pattinsons hair product, and he wanted them to use it.

    I have a jar of this sticky, greasy stuff (don't ask, I plead insanity). Hell, I have even used it on special occasions (like watching Twilight for the 47. time). And I can tell you the grease doesn't wash off again for weeks (and thus explains the grease hair). That's like, evidence, right?

    The smell? Like a beach. Not sweaty, but summer, sun, sand and coconut.

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  43. If I ever had the chance, I would lick him from head to toe, no matter what he smelled like.

    so this post has me thinking.... Rob seems pretty compfortable when he goes on the Ellen Degeneres show. I think Ellen is just wacky enough that she may smell him for us the next time he is on her show (im sure he will reappear for Breaking fail...er i mean breaking dawn) *shrugs* just sayin' it could happen.

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  44. @Luxie - ah, you are showing your [young] age, m'dear! some of you other "twitards of a certain age" might remember that image from a "back in the day" tv commercial for men's deodorant. I forget which one. anyone??? dang i am old - lol... Hey luxie - where's the beef??? how 'bout that one? get it? get it??? no??? {{{cricket. cricket.}}} i kid 'cause i love!! : )

    and jftr i actually bought drakkar noir for a boyfriend when i was in hs (well he wasn't REALLY a boyfriend - he was a friend's older brother's friend who i used to make out with sometimes - but who's keeping track? it would probably make me want to vomit now [i am MASSIVELY anti-perfume - just ask JJ and she will tell you i bitch at her all the time for wearing it] but at the time i though it smelled awesome!

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  45. & @T-Nabs - omfg your avi is slaying me!! lmfao!!

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  46. My coworker's best friend was standing right next to Rob yesterday (I swear on taycob's soft-as-a-babys-ass face) and she said he smells like stale cigarettes. Sad thing is she thinks he's icky. Can you imagine!?!?!? Ungrateful twat. Can't say that to her or she won't keep filling us in on her run-ins with the precious. On rob, stale cigarettes would smell like flowers (said in my best Mr Hanky impression). I'd hump him cross-eyed regardless.

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  47. @ STY thanks....but I give all credit to Stoney. Combine the copious amounts of alcohol it took to get me naked and her amazing photo taking skills and poof the craziest avvi ever!!! It's a really funny story how we ended up with that one, but maybe we should wait to tell that another time!!! Yeah, she showed the photos at some swanky art show, but I use it for my Twilight addiction. Mugh..ha...ha!!!

    I'm so freaggin excited to have internet back. I missed this blog so much. I heart you two. Thanks for the laughs!!!

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  48. @STY:
    {scratches head out of momentary confusion... NOT head lice} ..Ah yes!'where's the beef' I know this one! (compliments a la VH1's I Love the 80's) Wendy's commercial with an old lady, right? See? ..I'm not TOTALLY out of touch ;D

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  49. Exept for the smoking thing, I am sure Rob doesn't smell. And even if he does, "he won't sleep in the bathroom" (that's what we say in France).I imagine him smell L'Homme from Yves St Laurent, very spicy and fresh in the same time. And have you sen the post from random act of Rob "Rob has been Efroned"; waxed. So, no "body hair" --> less scent. Salut à toutes de France.

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  50. Is Axe body spray the Old Spice of today's generation? LOL! I remember having a sick Pavlovian type response to my high school boyfriend's cologne mixed with the stale cigarette odor. Only teenage hormones can do that to you I swear.

    Oh and the nit infestation joke? I found it hilarious! I love Rob's sense of humor and how he likes to fuck with the crazies and the press. Hee hee.

    Would I kick him out of bed if he smelled bad?Hmmmm. I mean, a bad smell can seriously ruin a mood. I enforce a must brush teeth rule before any sex with husband, so I'm afraid a stinky Rob might be a no go for me. OMG, WTF am I saying? I would still totally do him, stink, nits and all.

    But I think he smells like wildflowers and coconut and sex and man. LOL! Hummuna hummuna...

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  51. Axe? I think we call that Lynx here. And I really hope he doesn't smell like that shite. I haven't been able to stomach it ever since a bunch of the fucktards, um, I mean boys in my class at school decided to light a few cans on fire in the classroom. The place reeked of it for weeks.

    Not that I'd say no even if he did smell like the stuff. Where's that Febreeze bottle gone...?

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  52. First love smell= Polo -still gets me if I get a random whiff somewhere.

    LKW, I have been really dying to know the answer to the smell question for some time. If I ever met him I totally plan on politely asking for a little smell. Until then I imagine he smells like freesia, puppy breath and warm doughnuts with a little bit of coconut thrown in. Mmmmm sounds like dessert! I think I will have a taste.

    Sparkle Mindy
    who continue to have signing in issues..

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  53. Oh, Rob and his stanky mankies can go fuck himself for just a bit.

    Keep your eye on the BALL people. What I wanna know is...

    How's your snatch feeling, Snarky?

    Crap, not signed in. I'll give you three guesses, though.

    VW soffort I hear you possibly suffort the embarrassment of baring your cooter today. (Ha, bonus pun!)

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  54. We had a much loved & much missed English (pommie) friend who when he visited and we offered him a cuppa, he would say "Sure love, I'm dryer than a Pommies towel"! I just think stupid people on tv don't get his very english sense of humour but sadly I think he would stink of ciggies which is gross.
    LOVE the showerheadrob pic's @LKW. Visions of him in shower.....

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  55. First of all, don't think he stinks. Second of all, don't care if he stinks. Third of all, we can cure it together in one of those fancy showers with dozens of shower heads (twss) available. Hell, I would be just fine with licking him clean!

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  56. Hi. As my screen names tells you, I have actually smelled him. March 1, 2010 at the Today Show. He was 6 inches in front of me. How does he smell? Unfuckingbelievable. Heavenly. His scent wafted over us and it was lovely. I will never forget it.

    Maybe he had showered that morning, maybe that was natural, but it was all good...just sayin.

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  57. @CullenLoverSmelledthepretty! That is awesome. I'm extremely jealous. That beats eating brunch with PFach and having him tweet on my phone hands down. I never forget a smell and I'd love for you to bottle it for us.

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  58. I wouldn't care about his smell if I found Rob passed out on a public bathroom floor, covered in his own piss and vomit. I would still take his beautiful, drunk ass home, clean him up, and fuck him till I couldn't see straight. I'm just saying.....

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  59. @CullenLoverSmelledThePretty! -- SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! so totally jealous! i want to go to there...

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  60. @anon - if that's REALLY your name. can i just call you Sparkles?? there better now... my snatch feels...awesome. Nekkid and awesome. More later... ; )

    (thanks for asking!! it's good to have people care - lol...)

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